Part of Team Kimberlin’s PR effort was to threaten those of us being sued by the Dread Deadbeat Pirate Pro-Se Kimberlin with the direst of dire direness if we didn’t settle on terms favorable to the plaintiff. One of the early threats that fizzle was that Kimberlin had found a top notch lawyer who would crush us in court. The Bonus Prevarication Du Jour from nine years ago today was about one of Matt Osborne’s (aka Xenophon) attempts to spin that yarn.
* * * * *
Here’s another whopper from Xenophon at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it).If The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin really has found a lawyer willing to represent him, that lawyer will be filing an appearance with the court, and that should appear on the docket. Soon. As of this evening, the online database for the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit still shows Brett Kimberlin as pro se, that is, representing himself without counsel.
I suspect that Xenophon is simply lying. The post containing that statement is dated 23 December. That’s the same day that Brett Kimberlin filed his latest round of motions in the lawsuit, and they were filed pro se rather than through counsel. I’ll believe that TDPK has found a lawyer willing to risk his law license by signing on to the claims in Kimberlin’s Amended Complaint when I see his appearance in the case docket or see him show up in court.
OTOH, Xenphon’s “sources” may have told him that TDPK has a competent lawyer. If that’s the case, it may be time for a med check.
* * * * *
Brett Kimberlin has managed to talk a law firm into providing him with pro bono representation for his petition seeking the Supreme Court review the Seventh Circuit’s denial of his attempt to have his Speedway Bomber convictions set aside. His petition has been distributed to the justices for their conference on 6 January.
The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin included a copy of a Breitbart Unmasked post by Xenophon the Troll (No, I won’t link to it) as an exhibit in that motion he filed after the judge order him to stop filing motions in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness. That got me to reread the post, and I found this howler.
“Dozens of peace orders”? Plural? At least 24?
Let’s fact check that.
Looking at the Maryland Judiciary Case Search database, we find the following peace orders petitions have been filed against Bill Schmalfeldt: 06C13063359, 1002SP002432013, and 1001SP003432013. That’s a total of three. One of them was granted and then extended.
Running the same check on The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin turns up these petitions: 06C13063590, 0601SP033922012, and 0601SP003412013. I am also aware of another peace order petition filed against TDPK which is now sealed and no longer appears in the public record. That’s a total of four. One of them was granted against Kimberlin. Over the past couple of years, TDPK has filed four peace order petitions against three individuals, and all failed either at the final hearing or on appeal.
The last time I checked, seven is substantially less than “dozens.” IIRC, when sealed protective orders are added in as well, TDPK has filed more petitions against others than have been filed against him, and every single one of his has failed in the end.
In a surprising twist Xenophon the Troll finally tells the truth in a post at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) about The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s vexatious lawsuits against bloggers and media entities. In a prolonged screed about Paul Alan Levy’s representation of anonymous blogger Ace of Spades in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness, Xenophon writes—Yep. As TDPK has claimed, donations from big-time leftwing contributors are drying up for his not-for-profits. For example, the Threshold Foundation had given Velvet Revolution grants totaling as much as $65k a year, but it has zeroed out its support.
It was leftwing blogger Seth Allen who first shined some light on Brett Kimberlin’s current activities. The fact that it was mostly the right half of the blogosphere that rallied to Allen’s defense allowed TDPK to paint resistance to his lawfare as persecution from the right.
That dog won’t hunt anymore. Ken White, Zoa Barnes, and Paul Alan Levy are not rightwing nut jobs, but they have all provided pro bono legal help to victims of Team Kimberlin. The ACLU, which is also helping in Ace’s defense, is rarely thought of as a rightwing organization.
Because of the extra publicity stirred up by TDPK’s frivolous lawsuits, good people on the left are realizing what kind of person Brett Kimberlin is, and they are deciding that they have better things to do with their money than supporting his unprofitable not-for-profits. The Streisand Effect blowback putting a real crimp in his business model.
Team Kimberlin haz sad. I expect them to act out even more outrageously before things are settled.
On advice of counsel, I won’t reply with a Clint Eastwood quote.
It’s been a couple of weeks since Xenophon the Troll has had anything to report over at Breitbart Unmasked about the progress of The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s vexatious lawsuits. Perhaps his boss hasn’t let him see all the paperwork that’s been filed in both the Maryland Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. suit and the federal Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.
OTOH, given that there’s only been 8 comments on his last lawfare post, maybe he’s figured out how little real-world interest there is in his wrongheaded, inaccurate analysis.
Gentle Reader, I occasionally take a look at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) so that you don’t have to. 10 days ago, Xenophon (the Troll) had a celebratory post about The American Spectator taking down posts about The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin written by Stacy McCain. Those posts were back up in short order. That was the last bit of coverage of TDPK’s lawfare quest.
Also, over past few days, several motions have been filed by defendants the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness pointing out various apparent forgeries and lies from TDPK. Kimberlin’s responses have not denied any of those allegations, so, as far as the record before the court is concerned, they can be taken as true. OTOH, he has lashed out with irrelevant ad hominem attacks against Aaron Walker and me that are simply not germane to the case. Indeed, the big news from Monday was TDPK’s motion to disallow Aaron Walker’s 31-page reply to TDPK’s oppositions to various motions to dismiss. TDPK’s filing doesn’t cite a single reason based in law to deny the Walker motion, but it does contain a bigoted rant against people with learning disabilities.
Meanwhile, Xenophon seems to have decided that the current developments in the lawsuit aren’t worthy of coverage.
Xenophon the Troll’s use of the term “memory hole” in a post he put up at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) got me thinking about the origin of that term in the book Nineteen Eighty Four. One thought led to another, and Room 101 came to mind. Room 101 was the torture chamber at the Ministry of Love where the Party subjected a prisoner to his worst nightmare.
That got me to thinking … what would Xenophon find in Room 101?
On Monday, Xenophon the Troll posted a piece over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) predicting that the defendants in The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s vexatious nuisance suits, Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. and the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness, are having our writings about TDPK flushed down the Internet’s memory hole. He offers this as evidence.
The Internet offers the following rebuttal which may be found here. (Click the image to embiggen it.)That’s a post about TDPK with the byline of my codefendant Stacy McCain.
<sarc>In a stunning exposé by Xenophon, Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it) has published the earth-shattering news that certain Maryland Republicans actually know each other and, as hard as this may be to believe, have worked together in recent political campaigns. Some these Republicans are conservative or libertarian bloggers as well.</sarc>
For the record, Jackie Welfonder is a friend, and I look forward to seeing her again at CPAC this year. I voted for Dan Bongino for Senator in 2012, and I’d vote for him for Congress this fall if I hadn’t been gerrymandered out of the 6th Congressional District.
Xenophon the Troll is channeling the Amazingly Inaccurate Criswell again over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) This time the nonsense has to do to with First Mate Neal Rauhauser’s attempt to gen up some sort of connection between the Kimberlin Unmasked identity and a real person.That’s an ambitious undertaking—foolhardy, because there’s nothing to find—but it’s ambitious. You see, Team Kimberlin has already run afoul of the GIGO principle: garbage in, garbage out.
OK, what do I mean by garbage in? Consider these bits of data:The account_id is the correct one for @Kimberlinunmask. However, the login time is on 24 December, 2013. The @Kimberlinumask account was suspended on that day, and it’s not possible to login to a gulaged account.
While it’s not quite as obviously stupid a submitting two versions of the same document to the same court in the same case or as mind-bogglingly crude as failing to remove a PACER legend and using the wrong typeface to create a do-it-yourself court summons, it is … well … it’s kinda amateurish.
Xenophon (the Troll) writes about Republican party unity in the latest installment of his hallucinations at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.).Ah, the analysis of a failing minor Democrat party operative. How insightful!
Xenophon (the Troll) has another nonsensical post over at Breitbart Unmasked trying to put some sort of conspiracy theory spin on the fact that two of the defendant’s in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness have asked the court to recognize that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin is a vexatious litigant.
A vexatious litigant is one who keeps filing and losing nuisance lawsuits, and that is a fair description of TDPK. Here’s a partial list of some of the federal civil cases that TDPK has filed and, and near as I can tell, lost:
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) mddce 1:1987-cv-01449 540 06/04/1987 12/03/1987
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1990-cv-01549 440 07/02/1990 07/02/2003
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) ilndce 1:1990-cv-05913 290 10/11/1990 03/19/1992
Kimberlin, Brett (pla) lawdce 2:1992-cv-00612 890 04/06/1992 04/18/1994
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1995-cv-01328 895 07/19/1995 04/12/1996
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1995-cv-01329 895 07/19/1995 04/12/1996
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) mddce 8:1997-cv-00431 890 02/11/1997 02/26/1997
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) mddce 8:1997-cv-01687 530 05/23/1997 06/06/1997
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) mddce 8:1997-cv-02066 530 06/24/1997 07/30/1997
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1997-cv-01798 550 08/08/1997 01/16/1998
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) mddce 8:1997-cv-02574 890 08/11/1997 08/27/1997
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1997-cv-02633 550 11/07/1997 06/12/2001
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) mddce 8:1997-cv-03829 530 11/10/1997 05/22/1998
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1998-cv-00071 895 01/09/1998 04/10/2001
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) mddce 8:1998-cv-00730 550 03/10/1998 04/30/1998
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) vaedce 2:1998-cv-00957 530 08/19/1998 03/29/1999
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) vaedce 2:1998-cv-01484 550 12/29/1998 04/28/1999
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1999-cv-01514 550 06/11/1999 09/29/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1999-cv-01515 550 06/11/1999 09/30/2002
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1999-cv-01590 550 06/18/1999 10/31/2001
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) vaedce 2:1999-cv-00979 530 06/21/1999 04/03/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) vaedce 2:1999-cv-01547 530 09/20/1999 05/22/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:1999-cv-03156 555 11/30/1999 01/27/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) vaedce 2:2000-cv-00307 550 05/01/2000 10/26/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) vaedce 2:2000-cv-00670 530 09/07/2000 12/05/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) vaedce 2:2000-cv-00798 530 10/20/2000 11/17/2000
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) dcdce 1:2001-cv-01212 530 06/04/2001 09/30/2002
Kimberlin, Brett C (pla) dcdce 1:2001-cv-02100 320 10/05/2001 07/16/2004
Kimberlin, Brett C (pet) mddce 8:2004-cv-02881 530 09/02/2004 06/14/2005
I’m not the least bit surprised that two of my codefendants have decided to tag TDPK as a vexatious litigant.
Xenophon asks a silly and misleading question over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it).
This is one of those “have you stopped beating your wife” questions. The defendants in the frivolous and vexatious Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit won’t be abandoning any so-called “blog court” strategy because we have never employed one. What we have done is point out some of the false allegations in The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s complaint and some of mind-bogglingly stupid procedural errors he has made. Here at Hogewash!, I’ve tried to do that with a bit of humor and a great deal of sarcasm. The one thing none of the defendants has done is to tip our hand to show what our actual defense strategy might be. We’ll let the court try the case—if it manages to get past the preliminary stages.
Oh, and to save Xenophon from having to ask, yes, I still beat my wife—at Trivial Pursuits. But she beats me at Scrabble.
If you’d like to help my codefendants (Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, and Kimberlin Unmasked) and me fight Brett Kimberlin’s attack on our First Amendment rights, go to Bomber Sues Bloggers to find out how.
Xenophon has more to say about Monday’s hearing in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.).Uh, huh.
Of course, they’re not. One is a black & white copy and the other is a color copy with a check marked added in the Restricted Delivery “Yes” box. The matching tracking numbers must be of no consequence.
Xenophon is telling lies over at Breitbart Unmasked again (No, I won’t link to it.)—What really happened was that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s motion for alternate service on Ali Akbar was denied. You see, Maryland Rule 2-121(a) requires that service of process via mail be by Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested, Restricted Delivery. Unfortunately, TDPK didn’t check the box for Restricted Delivery on the Certified Mail green card. Also, and this is confirmed by the USPS mailing receipt he filed as an exhibit in his RICO status of service report, he didn’t pay for Restricted Delivery either. The Restricted Delivery charge in 2013 was $4.75 in addition to the $5.65 for Certified Mail with Return Receipt. Sure enough, the copy of the green card that Kimberlin filed with his motion for alternate service does not have the Restricted Delivery “Yes” box checked. Even if he had mailed the package to correct address, service would have not been valid.
Meanwhile, TDPK was unhappy that Ali’s lawyer was not being cooperative, that is to say, was looking out for his own client’s interests. In a fit of pique, TDPK filed a motion for sanctions against Ali’s lawyer, and, to make sure that he got it right this time, he included an exhibit that showed the green card with the box checked.
And he got caught.
And Judge Burrell was not amused by having two versions of the same document from the same party. Motion denied!
Furthermore, at no time during the hearing did Judge Burrell verbally order Ali’s lawyer to disclose Ali’s current address to TDPK, and she has not sent any such written order to Ali’s lawyer.
So what we have here is a notorious liar lying about what happened when a convicted perjurer got caught filing an apparently forged document with a court.
Xenophon (the Troll) has another of his wacko posts up at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) in which he tries to connect me to various nefarious activities on the Interwebz.Perhaps I should. By whom?
So far as I know, the only person who would be in a position to ask me questions in court would be The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin. (Bill Schmalfeldt might get a crack at me if I’m called as a witness at one of his trials. However, given the evidence that could be introduced from the record of the peace order extension hearing, my testimony might not be required. But I digress.) Why would Kimberlin think that questions about alleged interactions between me and Matt Osborne, William Ferguson, or Alex Brant-Zawadzki might be germane to either the state Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit or the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness? Is TDPK teamed with these folks? If he is, that would go toward proving the existence of Team Kimberlin, but, since TDPK’s suits claim that merely saying that Team Kimberlin exists defames him, he might not want to go down that path.
I have no knowledge of any of the stuff Xenophon has written about, but if TDPK wants to question me about the material in that post, I’d be happy to take his questions on the witness stand under oath. He would be opening the door to very interesting lines of inquiry by the defendants. He could expect some interesting related questions when he testifies in the RICO suit. (He isn’t banned from testifying in federal court.)
Oh, one more thing … I’ve never claimed to be a dramaturge, but I am a trained voice actor, and I am familiar with The Wasps. Thus, I’ll leave Xenophon with these words from Xanthias:
Xenophon (the Troll) has another one of his mind-bogglingly silly posts up at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.). He writes about Ali Akbar and a seminar that touched on how to “beat the IRS.”
Xenophon the Troll has a post over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) in which he tries to evoke Aristophanes’s play The Wasps in connection with Aaron Walker’s efforts to protect himself from The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s lawfare. In doing so, he demonstrates his lack of familiarity with the play and its backstory. The Wasps is a satirical jab by Aristophanes at the demagogue Cleon who had falsely prosecuted Aristophanes for defamation. Does Brett Kimberlin really want his propaganda website reminding people of a failed, vexatious slander suit that became a source of ridicule?
Of course, the post also is chock full of misrepresentations and flat-out lies.No, that’s not how service works. Rule 5(b)(2)(E) of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure allows
sending it by electronic means if the person consented in writing—in which event service is complete upon transmission, but is not effective if the serving party learns that it did not reach the person to be served …
Note that service by email requires permission from the person being served. (The Maryland Rule is similar.) TDPK does not have permission to serve me by email in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness because I do not trust him to send me the same papers he would be filing with the court. That is based on experience. The Amended Complaint he served on me by mail is not the same as the one shown as Docket Item 2 on PACER. I want to be able to show the judge what TDPK actually served me, so I require service by hard copy.
In the state Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit, my lawyer has asked for service by email. The only hard copy is the one filed with the court. The same lawyer also represents Aaron Walker and Stacy McCain, so when he receives service by email from TDPK, all three of us are considered served. Until the scheduling hearing in late November, Kimberlin was neither filing timely answers to our motions nor serving copies of his filings on our lawyer. During that hearing, the judge ordered him to begin proper service on our lawyer. So the following is simply false.TDPK has never properly served me with a single court paper in the RICO Madness. The certificate of service with his motion for extension of time falsely claimed that he served me by email. Kimberlin has been haphazard (at best) in his attention to detail in his conduct of both of his lawsuits. My codefendants and I plan to use all of his mistakes to our advantage. Some are real doozies. Wait and see.
Xenophon (the Troll) made a bunch of New Year’s predictions over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to ’em.).
The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin seems very much fixated on finding the identity of Kimberlin Unmasked. One wonders what the exact reason might be, but I suspect that it’s jealousy. The Kimberlin Unmasked website and Twitter accounts have done an marvelous job of skewering TDPK with humor, whereas the various Team Kimberlin sites … well, if you can’t say something nice … you may be talking about Team Kimberlin.
I don’t know the identity of Kimberlin Unmasked, and I doubt that any of the members of Team Kimberlin know who he/she/they KU is/are. The rumors Team Kimberlin have tried to circulate range from silly to downright wacko, as you can see above.
Actually, the best rumor I’ve heard is that Kimberlin Unmasked is Neal Rauhauser and that he started the accounts because he got upset when a check from the Bermuda bank bounced.
One wonders what they’re thinking over at Breitbart Unmasked? Of if there’re thinking? A few days ago, a post with Xenophon’s byline went up that attempted to appropriate the Acme Law theme that I’ve been using to describe the nonsensical legal theories behind Team Kimberlin’s lawfare and apply it to Aaron Walker’s recently filed memorandum in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit. (That’s the suit against Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, Kimberlin Unmasked, and me that accuses us of defaming The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin by writing truthful things about him.)
Now, if Brett Kimberlin is known for anything, it’s for being convicted as the Speedway Bomber and for being the guy who lied about selling marijuana to Dan Quayle. So why, one wonders, would his propaganda website include this LooneyTunes clip in a post?
Yeah, the coyote is fiddling with nitroglycerin and TNT instead of Tovex, but still …
You can help my codefendants and me defend ourselves against Brett Kimberlin’s frivolous and vexatious attack on our First Amendment rights. Go to Bomber Sues Bloggers to find out how.
Here’s another ludicrous line from the keyboard of Xenophon (the Troll) as published at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.).
It’s true that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin is seen by some of us as something out of the movies, but not as a horror movie villain. While he is viewed as potentially dangerous, he’s seen as something out of a two-reeler. This picture which was used in a post published last year provides a fair summary of what many of us think about TDPK and his crew.
As I mentioned yesterday, Xenophon (the Troll) keeps writing hallucinatory fiction about Brett Kimberlin’s lawsuits and the facts surrounding them over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.). For example,
Actually, I was the first person to use Maryland’s law prohibiting a convicted perjurer from offering testimony to stop The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin from testifying. That disability has been on the books in Maryland for around 150 years, and when a local prosecutor pointed it out to me, I made sure that my lawyer was aware of TDPK’s status.
Since that trial, Kimberlin has gone on record admitting his perjury conviction, and he’s tried to argue that it violates his rights. However, the law is settled on the matter. Perjurers may not testify in Maryland courts. Period. BTW, Maryland is not the only state with that rule.
In the current Maryland lawsuit, TDPK is the plaintiff, and Aaron Walker is one of the defendants. Mr. Walker’s raising of the issue does not “prevent Kimberlin from being able to defend himself in court.” Rather, it prevents him from using his own testimony to attack Mr. Walker in the frivolous and vexatious Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. suit.
(You can help Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, Kimberlin Unmasked, and me defend ourselves in that lawsuit. Go to Bomber Sues Bloggers to find out how.)
Perhaps this reveals the real reason for the federal RICO lawsuit. TDPK may be venue shopping to find a place where he can testify. But why would that be important? Certainly, if his case were righteous, there would be documentary support for it. After all, it’s mostly about what people have written. And surely, there would be someone who could offer testimony on his behalf.
Unless, of course, the written evidence doesn’t support his allegations, and he can’t find anyone willing to lie for him.
Xenophon is back with another hallucinatory post at Breitbart Unmasked. (No, I won’t link to it.) Among the provably false bits is this howler—
Now, it is true that I did find the handle on my front door hand been tampered with last April, and I did call the Sheriff’s Office about it. You can read my account here. When you read that account, you will find that I blamed the damage on … no one. I have no idea who did it.
Since the incident, I have never accused any particular person of having damaged my front door.
Brett Kimberlin is a convicted felon. He’s got convictions for perjury, drug dealing, bombings, and more. I wonder why he concerns himself with a non-existent petty vandalism charge?
Unless someone sends me a link to check out, I rarely bother with the hallucinatory postings found at Breitbart Unmasked. I did stop by yesterday afternoon after hearing that Xenophon had a post called William Hoge’s Downfall (No, I won’t link to it.). I started laughing at the first sentence.Gentle Readers, I am amazed by my powers of persuasion. If Xenophon is correct, I’ve been able to get you to believe something I don’t and to do so without writing about it.
I’ve never expressed a goal of having Bill Schmalfeldt sent to jail. As I’ve written before, there may be more appropriate sanctions, and it will be up to a judge to decide. The hearing scheduled for today is about extending the peace order for another six months. It’s a civil matter, and no one’s going to jail as a direct result of it unless he’s foolish enough to engage in contempt in front of the judge.
It’s true that I have taken steps to have the current peace order enforced, but that isn’t the subject of this next hearing. It’s true that I am seeking to have Schmalfeldt held in contempt for his violations of the current peace order. That isn’t on the table today either.
My mind’s eye can already see the posts from Team Kimberlin about Hoge now backpedalling. That’s nonsense. Continuing to say the same thing I’ve always said isn’t backpedalling.
IIRC, it was Bill Schmalfeldt who was cocksure that I would be led away in handcuffs back in October, and he’s the one who has bloviated about my peril today. But facts have never been Breitbart Unmasked‘s strong suit.
Xenophon (the Troll) makes a lame attempt at ironic humor over at Breitbart Unmasked with a post (No, I won’t link to it) trying to cast me as the Internet Sheriff of Twitter Town. It has a sort of Blogsmoke theme.
Here’s how we would have done it back when I was working in radio—
*****
SOUND: HORSE MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET
MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Dodge City Twitter Town and in the territory out west of the net—there’s just one way to handle the killers harassers and the spoilers stalkers—and that’s with a U.S. Marshall an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “GUNSMOKE” “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2
ANNOUNCER: “GUNSMOKE” “BLOGSMOKE” starring William Conrad W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the violence trolling that moved west with young America into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved with against it. (MUSIC: OUT)
MATT JOHN: I’m that man, Matt Dillon, United States Marshall John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.
MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3
SOUND: HOUSEHOLD BACKGROUND NOISE—PHONE RINGS OFF MIKE
WILL: (OFF MIKE) Dad! Telephone.
JOHN: I’ll get it in here.
SOUND: PHONE PICKED UP
JOHN: Hello?
LEE: (FILTERED) John, It’s Lee.
JOHN: Hey, Lee.
LEE: (FILTERED) I’m flying into BWI tomorrow evening to file charges against the Grouch. Can you give me a ride from the airport to the courthouse.
JOHN: Sure. When do you get in?
LEE: (FILTERED) Just after six.
JOHN: That works. BWI is on my way home from work. There’s a great place for crab cakes between the airport and where the District Court Commissioner’s night office is located. We’ll grab dinner on the way. Send me an email with the flight info.
LEE: (FILTERED) Thanks, John.
SOUND: PHONE HANGS UP—HOUSEHOLD BACKGROUND FADES
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4
SOUND: CAR ROLLING TO A STOP
PARKING GIRL: Three Dollars.
JOHN: Here you go.
PARKING GIRL: Need a receipt?
JOHN: No thanks.
SOUND: CAR ACCELERATES—ROAD NOISE SUSTAINS IN BACKGROUND
JOHN: So how do your wife and kids feel about this?
LEE: They’re tired of it. After a while, it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop.
JOHN: Yeah.
LEE: I can put up with a lot, but when he suggested that my wife be raped while I was away covering the convention …
JOHN: Uh, huh.
LEE: As if that weren’t enough … going on and on about the child we lost in childbirth … And saying that I was pimping my wife and daughter.
JOHN: Yeah. He’s scum. By the way, you see that trailer park on the right.
LEE: Yes.
JOHN: He’s in Number 71.
SOUND: ROAD NOISE FADES
ANNOUNCER: There’s a nip in the air these days as autumn moves toward winter. One good way to fight the chill is a Team Lickspittle sweatshirt or hoodie. Why not get yours today? Team Lickspittle sweatshirts and hoodies are just some of the trinkets you can waste your hard-earned cash on, stuff exclusively available at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle.
And now, back to our story.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5
COMMISSIONER: Raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm under penalty of perjury that statements contained herein are true to the best of your knowledge and belief.
LEE: I do.
COMMISSIONER: Sign and date all the pages please.
LEE: OK.
SOUND: PEN SCRATCHING
LEE: There.
COMMISSIONER: Thank you.
SOUND: FORMS BEING SEPARATED—STAPLER
COMMISSIONER: Here are your copies. Have a good evening.
LEE: Thanks. Good night.
JOHN: Well, that’s that. Let’s go.
SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES—FOOTSTEPS ACROSS PARKING LOT—TWO CAR DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE—CAR STARTS INTERIOR POV
JOHN: You can crash on our couch tonight.
LEE: Thanks, John.
JOHN: No problem. We’ll see how Howard County deals with this.
SOUND: CAR ACCELERATES AND ROAD NOISE FADES
MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) You know, cyberstalkers like the Grouch do real harm. Over the next week, he began to expand his attacks on bloggers—as we will see in the next episode of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT
ANNOUNCER: This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
Xenophon wonders if I was in the courtroom during the hearing in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit Monday morning. There’s an incredibly silly post over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) with all manner of blithering about the hearing and whether or not my behavior was ethical.
I was there. It is true that the docket shows that Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, and I were “not present,” but that is because we did not choose to intervene in the hearing. Neither I nor my lawyer was present at the defense counsels’ table, but I was still in the courtroom watching.
The clerk didn’t call the roll of the defendants. He called the case, and the persons having business before the court on the motion to compel appeared. They were The Dread Pirate Kimberlin representing himself and the two lawyers, one representing Kimberlin Unmasked and one representing Google. Because the order would not affect me, my lawyer and I chose not to intervene. I still attended as a spectator A.) because I’m a party to the suit and B.) because I wished to be able to blog about it from firsthand knowledge.
So the court “missed” me because I didn’t formally appear. Nothing sinister. All quite routine.
It’s interesting to see the various ways the Team Kimberlin is trying to spin the coverage of TDPK’s vexatious lawsuits. The only real accomplishments of the motion to compel is to cause Google to give up what is probably a pseudonym, a blind-alley email, and proxy IP address used to register the Kimberlin Unmasked blogspot account and to make moot the motion to compel filed in the federal copyright case filed against Kimberlin Unmasked.
Yawn.
When I last checked PACER, the federal courts’ online docket tracking system, no one had yet answered the amended complaint in the federal Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. suit.
As the Gentle Reader who has been following The Saga of The Dread Pirate Kimberlin for awhile may remember, I have filed answers to his complaint and his amended complaint in Maryland Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. I expect the next hearing will likely deal with my (and possibly others’) motions to dismiss the suit. If the case survives that hearing, the fun will begin.
If The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin really has found a lawyer willing to represent him, that lawyer will be filing an appearance with the court, and that should appear on the docket. Soon. As of this evening, the online database for the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit still shows Brett Kimberlin as pro se, that is, representing himself without counsel.
