Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The never-ending parade of silly mistakes made by The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt in their various LOLsuits have yielded a gold mine of pointage, laughery, and mockification. Here are some bits from the TKPOTD, a Legal LULZ Du Jour, and a Bonus Legal LULZ Du Jour from four years ago today.

* * * * *

I’ve been rereading some of The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s recent filings in the five active lawsuits in which he is a party. (BTW, four are LOLsuits he’s filed against me.) His writing is becoming … how to put this? … wilder and more full of stupid errors and omissions. I just finished reviewing something from one of the state cases, and its fatal error is both obvious and quite stunning. I won’t write about that mistake here because it’s the judge’s job to educate the midget on this one.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ has a DOOM CLOCK running over at his Derp Brain Radio website (No, I won’t link to it.) that shows 32 days remaining for the return of waiver of service forms he says he’s sent to the defendants in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

Fed. R. Civ. P. 4(d)(3) says—

A defendant who, before being served with process, timely returns a waiver need not serve an answer to the complaint until 60 days after the request was sent[.]

Even if the waiver request forms had been sent the day the LOLsuit was filed, there would still be 54 days remaining for the defendants to respond. But I suppose following the Rules is hypertechnical. And math is hard.

UPDATE—Or perhaps it means that the Cabin Boy™ is exercising his option to allow at least 30 days but less than 60 days for the return of the waiver forms. Whatever. Setting the minimum time for return of the waiver forms won’t change when any answers or dispositive motions are due.

popcorn4bkUPDATE 2—The Cabin Boy™ has a post up “correcting” this one. I checked his “correction” with a lawyer, and I’ll wait for Schmalfeldt to find out the hard way how wrong he is.

Oh, and I see from his post that he’s still too afraid to include me in his LOLsuit.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ has yet another post up over at his Derp Brain Radio website (No, I won’t link to it.) in which he demonstrates his poor reading comprehension and his poor knowledge of the legal resources I have at hand. Given his track record, it’s possible that he has come up with a novel way to screw up service of process. We shall see.

popcorn4bkAs I noted earlier today, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s fear of having to face me in court will keep me out of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, at least for the nonce, and I expect that the amended complaint [redacted]. All this means is that he’s surrendered his chance to control the actual venue after [redacted]. Meanwhile, I get to sit on the sidelines and point and laugh.

Heh.

* * * * *

Tomorrow is Christmas Day, and this feature will take the day off.

So head out to the store to finish your shopping (or pickup more popcorn), enjoy the holiday, and …

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

Yes, Merry Christmas, everyone!

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin included me as a defendant in four of the many LOLsuits he filed over the past few years. The third suit that included me was his RICO Retread LOLsuit which tried to revive the state law claims from his first RICO case. The TKPOTD from four years ago was one of the early reports on the process of defeating that third lawsuit.

* * * * *

During the motions hearing last week in the Kimberlin v. Most of the Universe, et al. RICO Retread LOLsuit, Judge Mason was well prepared. He said this to The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin while dealing with my motion to dismiss for improper venue.

THE COURT: And I’ve looked through your 52-page complaint a couple of times and again just this morning before coming out on the bench because I wanted to make sure that I understood precisely what is being alleged here.

The judge then proceeded to explain to TDPK some of the deficiencies in his pleading concerning me. I’d share some of that with you, but I don’t want to refresh the midget’s memory. TDPK has this to say to the judge:

MR. KIMBERLIN: I wanted to limit this case to the swatting. That’s what I’ve done. You know, if I have to refile against Mr. Hoge in Carroll County or in this county, you know, it would be another massive lawsuit. I would like to keep him in this case, whether through an amendment or whatever and let a jury decide, you know, what he’s done with regard to the swatting. You know, part of what the whole Everybody Blog About Brett Kimberlin Day was to portray me as a criminal swatter to silence conservative bloggers, you know, which was not the case. I have nothing at all to do with any swattings at all.

movie popcornAnother massive LOLsuit? Really? I suppose that means that TDPK has not yet figured out that there are some people who aren’t soft targets for lawfare. If he has learned anything about tangling with me, he’ll wise up and fail to amend his LOLsuit by the 18th, or, if he really comes to his senses, he’ll dismiss the entire LOLsuit for all the remaining defendants.

I wouldn’t bet on his acting wisely, so the Gentle Reader may want to lay in a good stock of popcorn. Here’s a deal from Amazon.

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

The Gentle Readers will note that I often suggest that they stay tuned. I’d offer the same suggestion to The Dread Deadbeat Performer Kimberlin’s guitar, but …

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Over at Instapundit a few days ago, Prof. Reynolds used the Southern expression “lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon wheel rut.” The TKPOTD from three years ago today contained information about something Brett Kimberlin did that I believe is lower still.

* * * * *

After Mark Bailin had presented his oral argument for the successful Breitbart motion to dismiss during last Thursday’s hearing in the Kimberlin v. Most of the Universe, et al. RICO Retread LOLsuit, Judge Mason gave The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin an opportunity to respond. This conversation was a part of his response.

THE COURT: The four that you chose, I would assume that you would pick the best four —

MR. KIMBERLIN: Uh, ummm —

THE COURT: — and the four that you chose, as he points out, two don’t even mention you.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Uh, I — Obviously, they don’t mention me in — by name. They mention me in context. They impute — ah — and this is a part of the campaign. This is —

THE COURT: Well, but, but, but stop for a second. Because the one in 2010 —

MR. KIMBERLIN: Ah, that’s —

THE COURT: — couldn’t possibly —

MR. KIMBERLIN: I’m, I’m not going to argue that. Ah, that’s beyond the statute of limitations.

THE COURT: So why did you put it in the complaint then?

That admission is significant because the only act TDPK alleges against Mandy Nagy is that she wrote the 2010 Breitbart article. Given that he’s admitted that what he alleged against her is outside the statute of limitations, it will be interesting to see if he’s smart enough to dismiss her from the case.

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

Even after admitting that the statute of limitations had expired on Mandy Nagy’s article—and know that she had suffered a stroke that made it impossible for her to participate in her own defense—The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin kept her as a defendant in the RICO Retread LOLsuit to the bitter end. He only dismissed her when it was the only way for him to pursue an appeal of his losses against other defendants, and he made her an appellee, essentially appealing his voluntary dismissal of her from the case.

Lower than [redacted].

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Dealing with The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s LOLsuits was a pain in the neck (or a couple of feet lower), but there were amusing moments. I enjoyed the motion to dismiss the RICO Retread LOLsuit filed by Michael Smith, the lawyer representing Michelle Malkin and Twitchy. It was the subject of the TKPOTD that ran four years ago today.

* * * * *

Michael Smith, the attorney representing Michelle Malkin and Twitchy in the Kimberlin v. Most of the Universe, et al. RICO Retread LOLsuit, has filed a reply to The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s opposition the the Malkin/Twitchy motion to dismiss.

I’m buying more popcorn futures.

* * * * *

When Judge Mason granted this motion, he adopted the reasoning in footnote 2, finding that Brett Kimberlin’s reputation is so bad that he cannot be libeled. The judge reaffirmed that finding in granting Aaron Walker’s motion to dismiss in the same case. So the net result of TDPK’s campaign of brass knuckles reputation management was a legal ruling that he can’t sue for defamation.

Some things have proceeded better than I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Brett Kimberlin’s life has been filled with grandiose schemes that backfired. His pseudo-black-op cover story for his dope smuggling failed, resulting in his first multiyear sentence. His attempts to use bombings to divert police energy from a murder investigation ran his prison time up to double digits. His attempts to use lawfare to stop truthful reporting about who he is and what he is doing resulted in expanded attention to who he is and what he is doing. The TKPOTD points out one of the core reasons for the failure of his lawfare.

* * * * *

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin has been given until close of business this Friday to file any further amendments to his complaint in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness. One reason he wishes to do so is that so much of his existing amended complaint has been gutted by the various motions to dismiss. As we wait this week for TDPK’s latest magnum opus, let’s review some of the better bits from those motions to dismiss.

Since this is my blog, I’ll start with my discussion of the deficiencies in his allegations of defamation.

32. Plaintiff is a public figure who is defamation proof. He became the object of public attention when he was tried and convicted as the Speedway Bomber. See U.S. v. Kimberlin, 527 F.Supp. 1010 (S.D. Ind. 1981) and 483 F.Supp. 350 (S.D. Ind. 1979). He broadened his fame when, while still in prison on bombing and drug smuggling charges, he claimed to have sold marijuana to then-Vice-Presidential-candidate Dan Quayle. See Kimberlin v. Quinlan, 6 F.3d 789, 791 (D.C. Cir. 1999). Further public interest was generated when his parole for the bombing and drug charges was revoked. Kimberlin v. Dewalt, 12 F.Supp.2d 487 (D. Md. 1998). It was revoked because of failure to make restitution to the widow of a bombing victim (herself a wounded victim) which was a condition of his parole. He achieved another measure of fame when he sued the Bureau of Prisons because he was not allowed to possess an electric guitar in prison. See Kimberlin v. U.S. Dept. of Justice, 318 F.3d 228 (D.C. Cir. 2003). As a public figure, he has not alleged any instance demonstrating actual malice or a reckless disregard for the truth by any of the defendants. NYT v. Sullivan, 376 U.S. 254 (1964).

33. As can be seen by the partial listing of Plaintiffs history in the paragraph above, he has considerable reputational baggage. Citizen K: The Deeply Weird American Journey of Brett Kimberlin (Singer, Mark, Knoff, New York, 1996.) is an authorized biography of Kimberlin. It insinuates that Plaintiff had an improper relationship with a ten year old girl (p. 78.), that he was suspected of having arranged the murder-for-hire of the girl’s grandmother. (pp. 82, 83.), and that the subsequent Speedway Bombings were an attempt to distract the murder investigation (p. 89.). The book tells of other unsavory actions, including Plaintiffs bragging about sabotaging military equipment while working in a prison industry (p. 184.). Plaintiffs status as public figure is not unlike Nathan Leopold’s (of Leopold and Loeb); when one commits a sufficiently infamous crime, one becomes a public figure from that day onward. See Leopold v. Levin, 45 Il1.2d 434 (1970).

34. In paragraph 181 of the Amended Complaint Plaintiff alleges that statements by the defendants concerning his behavior make him appear “odious, infamous, and/or frightening” without, as noted above, alleging which particular statement(s) by which particular defendant(s) were defamatory. However, Plaintiff in the past has tacitly acknowledged his reputation (as a perjurer, drug smuggler/wholesaler/dealer, bomber, murder suspect, etc.) is bad. See e.g., U.S. v. Kimberlin, 805 F. 2d 210, 223-24 (7th Cir. 1986). Indeed, it is so bad as to render him defamation proof. See Jackson v. Longscope, 394 Mass. 577 (1985).

There was one other problem with his allegation of defamation against me.

31. Even if the alleged statements made by Defendant Hoge be defamatory, any claim by Plaintiff is barred by the statute of limitations (Md Courts & Judicial Proc. § 5-105.) because all alleged statements by Mr. Hoge were made more than one year before the filing of the instant suit. 

It won’t matter how he amends his complaint. Brett Kimberlin is a convicted serial bomber, and, like other serial bombers (The Unibomber Ted Kaczynski, for instance), he’s now known as a notorious criminal. He’s defamation proof.

* * * * *

IANAL, but my opinion that Kimberlin is defamation proof was confirmed. The defamation claim in the RICO Madness LOLsuit was based in state law, so when Judge Hazel dismissed the federal claims in that case for failure to state a claim upon which relief could be granted, he dismissed the state claims for lack of jurisdiction. However, when The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin filed them as the RICO Retread LOLsuit in state court, Judge Mason dismissed them for failure to state a claim, and one of the bases for that failure with respect to defamation was a finding that Kimberlin is, as a matter of law, defamation proof.

In the process of losing the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, TDPK most likely destroyed any possibility of winning another defamation case.

Everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Folks just finding this blog are sometimes confused by the ongoing coverage of Brett Kimberlin and his minions. This TKPOTD from four years ago provides some historical perspective. The Gentle Reader should note that it was written after Kimberlin had lost the first state LOLsuit, but before any of the follow on federal or state cases had been resolved.

* * * * *

Every once in a while, I find it useful to present a review of some of the names used for Brett Kimberlin and Team Kimberlin and how they have evolved. After all, not all the Gentle Readers have been following The Saga since May, 2012, as I have.

Back in May, 2012, Brett Kimberlin had secured an unconstitutional gag order against Aaron Walker that prohibited Aaron from even speaking or writing about Kimberlin publicly. I began referring to Kimberlin as Lord Voldemort (i.e., “He who must not be named”) and his supporters as Death Eater Wannabes. After the gag order was overturned, it wasn’t long before Kimberlin put up a pirate-themed fundraising website called the Bloggers Offense  Fund. (That was an attempt to play on the name of a site called the Bloggers Defense Fund.) That’s when I began referring to Kimberlin as The Dread Pirate Kimberlin.

TDPKVarious members of Team Kimberlin have earned positions on the crew. These include First Mate Neal Rauhauser, Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt™, Very Ordinary Seaman Ferguson, Chief Pedo Officer Gillette, and 57F Osborne.

In mid 2013, Kimberlin upped the ante in his campaign of lawfare. He filed suit against Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, Kimberlin Unmasked, and me. He sued us in a Maryland state court for $1,000,000 claiming a bunch of stuff that boiled down to defamation and false light invasion of privacy in the end. Following the Team Kimberlin lawfare strategy, TDPK sued us without hiring a lawyer. Self-representation is referred to a acting pro se. Thus, The Dread Pirate Kimberlin morphed into The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin.

TDPK has also been referred to as The Dread Pedo Kimberlin and The Dread Performer Kimberlin in reference to the charges filed against him by his wife and to his singing, respectively.

I’ll conclude with these words which were originally posted in September, 2012—

The Dread Pirate Roberts, so the story goes, is a pirate of near-mythical reputation, someone feared across the seven seas for his ruthlessness and swordfighting prowess, and who is well known for taking no prisoners. Ships immediately surrender and give up their cargos rather than be captured, a fate they imagine to be certain death.

The Dread Pirate Kimberlin is more like a legend in his own mind, a pretender who wishes to be feared for his ruthlessness and legal ability and to be known for vanquishing all comers in court. Critics, he thinks, should immediately stop telling the truth about him and give up their First Amendment rights at his command.

It turns out that Dread Pirate Kimberlin’s legal acumen seems to be as fictional as Dread Pirate Roberts’ existence. And no one will surrender to Dread Pirate Kimberlin.

UPDATE—As Ron Coleman notes in his comment below, some of the defendants in the RICO Madness have surrendered to TDPK. However, most have not. Four of us beat him in state court. The same four and our codefendants will also beat him in federal court.

* * * * *

I should make several follow up comments.

First, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin lost every single civil case he filed and saw every single criminal complaint he filed dropped.

Second, he morphed from Dread to Deadbeat by not paying any of the sanctions imposed  against him or costs taxed to him.

Third, Ron Coleman and his co-counsel Bruce Godfrey followed through with their pro bono representation of blogger Patrick Frey, winning a summary judgment in the defendant’s favor on Kimberlin’s civil rights claim against Patterico.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the consistent themes put forward by Team Kimberlin is that they are the victims of false narratives and that their defeats in court have been the result of unfair treatment by judges or cheating by the opposing parties. The Legal LULZ Du Jour from three years ago dealt with one example of such a silly claim. Note: The “Lynn” referred to in the first tweet is a woman who wound up getting a restraining order against Bill Schmalfeldt.

* * * * *

Thus tweeteth the Cabin Boy™—dbr201512111512Zdbr201512111514ZLet’s see … the last time the Cabin Boy™ sued me … oh, yeah, that was the LOLsuit in the Circuit Court for Howard County. Now, how did that go?

Yeah, I remember now. Judge Kramer dismissed the suit against the out-of-state defendants because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt had failed to serve them, and she dismissed the case against me because I was being sued in the wrong county. Now, I’m pretty sure that I told the judge that I lived in Carroll County and didn’t work in Howard County, and I didn’t lie about that.

Hmmmm.dbr201512111516ZIt must be some technicality under Acme Law that makes living outside of Howard County a form of cheating. Still, I don’t remember any sense of humiliation as a result of winning.

Perhaps I’m not the one with a progressive brain disorder.

UPDATE—dbr201515111732Z

*yawn*

* * * * *

The Truth is not Team Kimberlin’s friend.

Oh, and the Cabin Boy™ sued me once more. I was a defendant in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. That case was dismissed against me because of the court’s lack of personal jurisdiction, i.e., Schmalfeldt sued me in the wrong court. Again.

Come to think of it, the state law claims that The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to bring against me in the RICO Madness and RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuits were also dismissed because the U. S. District Court lacked jurisdiction. The RICO Retread LOLsuit could have been dismissed in state court for improper venue, but the judge dismissed it for failure to state a claim in order for the dismissal to be with prejudice.

Incompetent cases filed in the wrong courts. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern here.