Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


In the beginning of my writing about Brett Kimberlin, I jokingly referred to him as Lord Voldemort because his illegal gag order against Aaron Walker made him “he who must not be named,” at least by Aaron. I teasingly referred to Kimberlin’s followers and enablers as Death Eater Wannabes. Not long after that gag order was quashed, Kimberlin started pirate-themed fund-raising website, so I began calling him The Dread Pirate Kimberlin, and certain of his followers were made members of his crew. One of my readers started calling TDPK’s main PR flack Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt, and that tag has stuck.

One of the reasons that Team Kimberlin has failed at almost every enterprise they’ve undertaken is the members inability to understand their lack of competence. Six years ago today, I ran this post called #BillSchmalfeldt: Delusions of Adequacy.

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Let’s back up for a minute and reexamine that Cabin Boy quote from 18 February.

It’s all horseshit. It’s all absolute horseshit. And I and my family have been put through pain and suffering because Lee Stranahan has a grudge. Because somebody, in my opinion, is paying Lee Stranahan to file these charges against me, in the hopes that I will either break or die.  I got some fucking news for you, Stranny [pause] Walker, Hoggy, Frey [pause] and Frey [pause] beware the Ides of March.

Somebody paid Lee Stranahan to file charges? Oh, come now. Who would care enough about a loser like Bill Schmalfeldt to want to spend the money?

Bill Schmalfeldt is a failure. Other than people who are dealing with his harassment and a few others who enjoy laughing at his gaffes, almost no one cares about him and the ways he blights the Internet. He’s a functional nonentity with a vanishingly small readership and essentially nonexistent listenership.

He is, at most, a vile insect, and some of us who he has annoyed have taken swats at him, but no one had to pay us. Certainly, the filthiness the Stranahan family endured from the Cabin Boy was sufficient motivation for Lee Stranahan to seek redress, and it’s not surprising that the Walker family sought relief either.

I have been able to bring a bit of justice to Schmalfeldt via a peace order. No one paid me to do so. I brought legal action because I was tired of being harassed. I’ve paid every cent of the my legal expenses out of my own pocket. Sore Loserman Bill has filed a Motion to Modify the peace order. I won’t speak to the merits (if there are any) of his motion while it is before the court, that’s my lawyer’s job, but I will say that it strikes me as foolish attempt to relitigate the case. The judge ruled on the facts and the law and issued the peace order. Schmalfeldt is also appealing the case. It will be interesting to see if the appeals court gets to the case before the peace order expires and makes his appeal moot. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy continues to misrepresent the terms of the peace order in a lame effort to justify his ongoing violations.

Although some of his associates are troubling, I’m not afraid of Bill Schmalfeldt per se. I’m annoyed by him. I intend to use all lawful means to make sure that he stops bothering me. If that shuts him down so that he can’t bother anyone else, it will be a nice bonus.

No one hopes that Bill Schmalfeldt will “break or die.” He not that important to anyone. His victims just wish the grossly inadequate loser would quit wasting Internet bandwidth and leave decent people alone. As Mr. T says,

I pity the fool.

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I have to say that my view of the Cabin Boy™ has changed over the years. Whatever pity I had has been dissipated.

And I’m not done with him yet.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Six years ago today, I was able to report one of the first bits of Justice in the Saga of Team Kimberlin.

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Today was a good day for the First Amendment in Montgomery County, Maryland. Aaron Walker’s lawyer won an emergency motion for a partial stay on Brett Kimberlin’s Lord Voldemort’s peace order prohibiting Mr. Walker from blogging about the Dark Lord. Here’s a copy of the court order. You will also find a set of requests from Mr. Walker concerning avoiding further claims of harassment from Voldemort. Please abide by them.

Congratulations, Mr. Walker, and thank you for standing up for the right of all of us to blog truthfully.

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Unfortunately, that was not the only news to report that day.

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Patterico reports that Aaron Walker was SWATted at around 6 pm ET this evening.

UPDATE—Breitbart has more info here.

Walker told Breitbart News that he was home with his wife this evening at approximately 6:00pm when there was a “pretty insistent” knock at his door. Walker answered to find about six police cars in the street and two officers taking positions against the wall with M4 rifles. Since he was aware of the previous swattings of Patrick “Patterico” Frey, Erick Erickson, and Mike Stack, Mr. Walker asked the police if someone had called and claimed he had killed his wife, and police confirmed that that was the case.

UPDATE 2—Still more at The Camp of the Saints. Apparently, someone is also trying to cause trouble for one of Aaron Walker’s lawyers.

UPDATE 3—Stacy McCain says:

Memo to The Washington Post: This is now what they call “local news.” Get on it.

Don’t hold your breath, Mr. McCain.

UPDATE 4—Aaron Walker posts What Happened Tonight.

One of the officers tonight asked me why I keep talking about Brett Kimberlin if it brings on this kind of trouble. It’s because Freedom of Expression is something I don’t just believe in, but I defend. And this threat to Freedom of Expression needs to be defeated. It is that simple.

When my wife was steadier, and our bellies were full, I opened up my computer again there were 720 new contacts of some kind in my twitter. That was the level of love and support out there. I am just stubborn enough not to need anyone’s prayers or support to see this through, but it’s nice to feel the love. So many perfect strangers tell me they are praying for me—although they are becoming less like strangers every day.

Finally, if anyone from the Washington Post or any other newspaper wants to talk to me, I’ll talk. I’ll give you an earful.

So the bottom line is that thanks in significant part to the Prince William County Police, who handled this with the right sweet spot between concern that a crime might be occurring, and caution, recognizing it might be a hoax, my wife and I are safe. A little shaken up, but determined to fight on.

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Some people believe in coincidences. The Gentle Reader may form his own opinion.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Four years ago, I began occasional posts from The Dread Pirate’s Dictionary after a reader’s request.

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TDPKTDPK is an abbreviation originally for The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. That name came into use when Brett Kimberlin put up a pirate-themed Bloggers Offense Fund website in a lame attempt to parody the Bloggers Defense Fund site that was raising support for Aaron Walker. Since Kimberlin has begun suing folks, it also stands for The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin. Kimberlin is representing himself in the lawsuits. The legal Latin for self-represented status is pro se. Note: During the brief period when Kimberlin had an unconstitutional gag order in place against Aaron Walker, he was referred to as Lord Voldemort (“He who must not be named under penalty of court order”).

Team Kimberlin is the loose association of cyberthugs who are engaged in the support of TDPK and his interests online. Note: During the interval when Kimberlin was referred to as Lord Voldemort, his associates were called “Death Eater Wannabes.”

CBBS is an abbreviation for Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt. The Cabin Boy™ is the noisiest and possibly the most noisome member of Team Kimberlin. In the past, he served as the Team’s PR flack. He is noted for his use of threats, online harassment, and faildoxing when engaging in his own special brand of inept “journalism.” Recently, he made an abortive attempt to get into lawfare like TDPK, earning himself the additional designation as TDPS, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™.

Lawfare is the use of meritless civil lawsuits filed on the cheap by a pro se litigant to inflict the cost of defending the suits on the victims/defendants.

team_kimberlin_briefUPDATE—Acme Law is the presumed legal brain trust behind Team Kimberlin’s lawfare efforts and the source of Team Kimberlin’s legal briefs. It is reputed to be the legal department of the famous Acme Company that supplies Wile E. Coyote.

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I’ll add that back in 2012 when Kimberlin was first referred to as “The Dread Pirate,” I noted that an important difference between him and The Dread Pirate Roberts was that Roberts’ reputation for effectiveness and ruthlessness were earned. Over the years, Kimberlin’s failures have resulted in him being downgraded from Dread to Deadbeat.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the false narratives that the Dread Deadbeat Prevaricator Kimberlin tried to spin up during the time when the unconstitutional peace order restricting Aaron Walker’s speech concerning TDPK was still in place was that Kimberlin had himself been the victim of a SWATting. I wrote a post six years ago today that expressed my disbelief of his claim. He’s referred to as “Lord Voldemort” because of his “he who must not be named” peace order.

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Brett Kimberlin Lord Voldemort is claiming that he was SWATted on 31 May. Velvet Revolution is offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the SWATter.

Uh, huh.

It will be interesting to see what police records show about a response to his residence on that date.

UPDATE–Meanwhile, 85 Members of Congress (all Republicans) are asking for a federal investigation of SWATting.

UPDATE 2–If Lord Voldemort was SWATted on 31 May, why is there no mention of it in ABC’s 6 June story on SWATting? Surely, the Dark Lord would have mentioned it, and if he did, surely ABC would have thought it newsworthy.

Hmmmm.

UPDATE 3–Lee Stranahan posts the following statement (H/T, @rsmccain) from the Montgomery County Government public information office:

I searched our 911 call database for the above listed address. There was no call listed for 5/31, nor anything similar to what you described. I then searched each of our 6 districts for the entire day of 5/31 for a murder in progress, murder just occurred or murder occurred earlier call with negative results. I then spoke with our director to determine if this type of incident was brought to his attention recently and it was not. If your research proliferates any further detail that would help us to narrow down the search, please let me know. I can always check another address if you find one, but for the time being, I don’t see anything similar to what you described.

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Stupid? Dishonest? Inept?

This is clearly a case where it’s appropriate to embrace the power of AND.

#BrettKimberlin and His Demotion


Readers who have been lurking about Hogewash! for more than a couple of days may have noticed that Brett Kimberlin is no longer referred to on this blog as “Lord Voldemort” and that Team Kimberlin is no longer referred to as “Death Eater Wannabes.”

Mr. Kimberlin was awarded the title because he seemed to fancy himself as He Who Must Not Be Named under threat of peace order. After Judge Rupp’s ruling, the threat is no longer credible. Hence, the demotion to plain, old Brett Kimberlin.

I note that Mr. Kimberlin still has a couple of things in common with the Dark Lord of the children’s books. He appears to have an over-inflated ego, and he’s a loser.