Unintentional Humor in Lawfare

The Cabin Boy™ has filed yet another one of his sterling bits of legal analysis.

I may have more to say after I quit laughing.

UPDATE—Extortion? No, Dave Edgren’s settlement negotiations are not extortion. See Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al., Case No. 13-CV-03059-GJH (D.Md. 2015) ECF No. 263 at 13, 14.

I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

According to PACER, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt really did file this—

UPDATE—Among the first bits of nonsense one finds in the Cabin Boy’s™ opposition is the whining that Patrick Grady has filled four motions, etc., without answering the Cabin Boy’s™ complaint. Rule 12(b) motions are made and disposed of before any answer is filed. In the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness, I filed more than a dozen motions, oppositions, replies, etc., before the case was dismissed. I never filed an answer; that case never got that far.

popcorn4bkSimilarly, I doubt that any of the defendants will ever have to answer Schmalfeldt’s complaint. That’s not to say that one won’t do so. A defendant would have to answer the complaint to file any counterclaims or …

Stay tuned.



The Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al. LOLsuit has been dismissed by the Circuit Court for Howard County.Qapla20150624

More later.

UPDATE—I haven’t received a copy of the order yet, but it appears that the entire case has been dismissed. That would be in line with a finding of improper venue for me. Venue would have been proper in Howard County if the court had jurisdiction over the other defendants, so for venue to be improper the suit would have to have been dismissed for them as well.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the Gentle Readers suggested that I do a Top 10 list of the biggest mistakes Team Kimberlin have made in their lawfare. That sounded like a good idea, so unless something big happens over the next few days, we’ll be looking at The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s biggest goofs to date.

10. Brett Kimberlin Sues Seth Allen
9. Brett Kimberlin Petitions for a Protective Order Against His Wife
8. Kimberlin Seeks a Peace Order Against John Norton
7. Schmalfeldt Seeks a Peace Order Against Patrick Grady
6. Kimberlin Files Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness
5. Kimberlin Files Kimberlin v. Walker

4. Schmalfeldt Sues Me in State Court The Cabin Boy™ has sued me twice in U. S. District Court. The first time, he withdrew his LOLsuit after only two days. The second time, the case was thrown out for lack of jurisdiction. Because we live in the same state, there must be a federal cause of action for him to drag me into federal court. Schmalfeldt refiled more or less the same claims as in the second federal LOLsuit in his state court LOLsuit2.

The Cabin Boy’s™ filings have been exercises in pro se incompetence. He has argued the Maryland Rules procedure citing the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. He has cited a law review article as a Court of Appeals decision. He has used a obviously altered document as an exhibit to support his argument that he doesn’t alter documents. He’s claimed that a pornographic image he created with my likeness photoshopped into it was not obscene; the judge was so repulsed by a censored version that she thanked me for not entering the unredacted picture into evidence.

The Cabin Boy™ has built and continues to build an public record of his ugly foolishness. He will probably not be pleased with the trouble it will cause him.

The Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al. Motions Hearing

Yes, motions. Plural. The docket only included the motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted, but Judge Mary Kramer also wanted to hear oral argument on the motion to dismiss for venue.

She says she will issue a written ruling on both motions.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE—Aaron Walker was in the courtroom observing today. Here is his report.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is suing me and some other defendants for harassment, defamation, false light invasion of privacy, malicious prosecution, conspiracy, interference with business prospects, and intentional infliction of emotional distress. I have filed a motion to dismiss the suit for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted.

A hearing on my motions scheduled this morning at 8:30 in the Circuit Court for Howard County.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Now that so many other people are archiving his blogging, I no longer regularly read the Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt meanderings on his blog du jour. I’m told that he wants to charge me a license fee for using his name and and image in my reporting about him and his buddies with Team Kimberlin.


Before making such a foolish assertion, he should have talked to a lawyer who could have explained case law such as Lawrence v. A. S. Abell Co., 299 Md. 697 (1984) to him.

And in other news concerning the Cabin Boy™ …

Yesterday, I mailed a reply to his opposition to my motion to dismiss his current LOLsuit for improper venue to the court. I also served the Cabin Boy™ by mail.

The reply speaks for itself, and I do not intend to make any further substantive public statements about the motion until the court has ruled on it.

In Re a LOLsuit

This morning I mailed my reply to The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s opposition to my motion to dismiss his most recent lawsuit to the Howard County Circuit Court.

The image in Exhibit A has been redacted.

The reply speaks for itself. I do not intend to make any substantive public comment on the motion or my reply until the court has ruled on my motion.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Cabin Boy™ routinely sticks his nose into other people’s business, and he acts as if he believes that everyone else does the same.BotM201503282229Z

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt may have forgotten who he’s suing, but “Paul Krendler” is among the et al. in his Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al. LOLsuit2 that he’s filed in Howard County Circuit Court. That being the case, I have a interest in his communications with my codefendants. It was TDPS who made his communications with “Krendler” my business.

Stupid is as stupid does.