Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


A newcomer to this blog might wonder why I write about Brett Kimberlin and his compatriots. This post, which was first published as the TKPOTD a year ago today, provides a bit of an explanation.

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I started this blog to write about things that interest me, and one of those topics is issues relating to the First Amendment. That interest led me to participate in the Everybody Blog About Brett Kimberlin Day blogburst back in 2012, and that, in turn, led to my focus on Brett Kimberlin and his associates.

Kimberlin has tried to use the force of the government in the form of nuisance lawsuits and false criminal complaints to suppress truthful reporting about his past and present activities, but that has not been his sole tool in his campaign of brass knuckles reputation management. Team Kimberlin has also engaged in various forms of online harassment, much of which has been perpetrated by Bill Schmalfeldt.

When anyone has taken steps to hold Schmalfeldt accountable for his actions, he has replied with failed legal actions, false DMCA takedown notices, and blustery threats.

It’s been over three-and-a-half years since that threat, and the only times law enforcement has been to my house since I started this blog were to investigate an attempted break-in and to take a complaint against Schmalfeldt for failure to obey a peace order. I seem to be in full control of this blog as I have been since Day One.

Meanwhile, we’re still waiting for news in the pending Team-Kimberlin-related court cases.

Stay tuned.

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At least one of the pending court cases has been finished since that was originally posted. Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact( in which I was one of the defendants) was dismissed by the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina.

Team Kimberlin has maintained their perfect record by losing everything they’ve filed since the beginning of 2012.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


A year ago, I was still a defendant in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. While the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuits have been inconvenient, his incompetence in pursuing them has been a magnificent source of pointage, laughery, and mockification. This originally ran as the TKPOTD a year ago today.

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Rather than file a proper response to my lawyer’s motion for a more definite statement in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact, the Cabin Boy™ appears to using the Twitterz to clarify one of his allegations against me.If his tweet is truthful, then the only allegedly defamatory remark in the paragraph the Cabin Boy™ cites is my reference to him as a deranged cyberstalker. If that’s the case, then he is admitting that the rest of the paragraph is not defamatory.

If his tweet is truthful, then Bill Schmalfeldt believes that it is not defamatory to say he is a liar. Or that he is untrustworthy. Or that he fails to live up to his agreements. Or that he fled Maryland.

Paradoxically, if his tweet is truthful, then its author is a liar.

If his tweet is truthful.

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Even liars sometimes tell the truth.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin’s failures at lawfare aren’t limited to The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s LOLsuits. All of the LOLsuits filed by The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt have been spectacular sources of pointage, laughery, and mockification as well. The TKPOTD from two years ago today dealt with LOLsuit VII: Degenrations.

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So the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VII: Degenerations has been voluntarily dismissed without prejudice. I’ll bet that the Cabin Boy™ thinks that means that he can still file another LOLsuit against Patrick Grady and/or Sarah Palmer alleging the same butthurt again. I’ll also bet that he would be wrong.

IANAL, but I can read a law book. When I read Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 41(a)(1)(B), I find these words concerning the effect of a voluntary dismissal:

But if the plaintiff previously dismissed any federal- or state-court action based on or including the same claim, a notice of dismissal operates as a adjudication on the merits.

IIRC, LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler targeted both Patrick Grady and Sarah Palmer with claims that overlapped with LOLsuit VII. If I’m understanding FRCP 41 correctly, my characterization of “really most sincerely dead” applies to LOLsuit VII. With an adjudication on the merits res judicata should now apply.

res_judicata_mugsActually, Patrick Grady probably could have relied on res judicata as a defense in LOLsuit VII, because he was targeted in LOLsuit V and LOLsuit VI. Other people are probably also covered to some extent: Eric Johnson (LOLsuits III, IV, and VI), Roy Schmalfeldt (LOLsuits V and VI), Paul Krendler (LOLsuits I and III), Nancy Gilly (LOLsuits I and VI), Howard Earl (LOLsuits III and IV), and me (LOLsuits I and III).

The Cabin Boy™ really is giving The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin a real contest for the title of World’s Worst Pro-Se Litigant™.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

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And as I foresaw, the Cabin Boy™ didn’t learn much from LOLsuit VII, and the next year he filed LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. He lost that one too.

Has the Cabin Boy™ learned his lesson?

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Being sued is a pain in the neck or a couple of feet lower. However, being sued by the incompetent pro se litigators of Team Kimberlin does his is lighter moments—such as when the many times The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfledt screwed up his paperwork in LOLsuit VIII. The TKPOTD from a year ago today dealt with one of his misunderstandings of the progress of that suit.

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PRE-UPDATE—This post was drafted during the early afternoon yesterday. Since then, the Cabin Boy™ has put out some tweets that show he may be beginning to understand his real situation. That may be, but I’m going leave this post in its original form—

The Cabin Boy™ either hasn’t read the U.S District Court for the District of South Carolina’s Guide for Pro Se Litigants and the order that was sent to him or his read comprehension is even worse than I thought. Or he’s lying.First, the Order issued on Friday clearly states that

[t]his case is not in proper form for service at this time. If Plaintiff does not bring this case into proper form within the time permitted by this Order, this case may be dismissed for failure to prosecute and failure to comply with an order of this court under Rule 41 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Next, the order explains what the Cabin Boy™ needs to submit and states that

[n]o process shall issue until the items specified above have been reviewed by the assigned Magistrate Judge.

Finally, the order instructs the Clerk of the Court that if

Plaintiff provides this court with the items assigned above, the Clerk of the Court should forward the file to the assigned Magistrate Judge to determine if service of process should be authorized.

The order was posted on Friday and mailed to the Cabin Boy™ that day. Even if he downloaded copies of the forms he is supposed to submit and mailed them back to the Clerk on Friday, they would not have been delivered to the court before Saturday, and would not be processed and forwarded to the judge until this morning at the earliest. It probably will be some time before the judge reviews any submission the Cabin Boy™ makes and decides whether to issue summonses. The verb should be authorized is in the future conditional tense which means that the possibility of the judge’s action rests on as yet unrealized circumstances, i.e,, the Cabin Boy™ getting his paperwork straight.

BTW, this analysis is consistent with the case docket as shown on PACER.There is nothing shown on the docket after the mailing of Friday’s order.

OTOH, here’s what a pro se case docket that did have a summons issued looks like.Notice that the issuance of the summons is specifically noted after the proper form order and the attachment of additional documents, events that don’t appear on the LOLsuit VIII docket yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

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The Gentle Reader can probably guess how I foresee LOLsuit IX proceeding if The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is foolish enough to file it.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


It’s no fun being sued, but it is satisfying when a court throws out all or part of a LOLsuit because it isn’t  based on any recognized cause of action. Several of the counts in The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s original Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit bit the dust at summary judgment because they weren’t things that could be the subject of a lawsuit, and the Hypertechincality Du Jour from a year ago today dealt with a non-tort alleged in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII.

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The core of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s problem is not that he is trying to use an unconstitutional statute and whether the federal court would enforce it. He has an even more basic procedural issue. He is trying to use a criminal statute as the basis of a civil claim. When a pro se litigant tries that (lawyers never seem to make the mistake), the court throws out the complaint without having to get into the issue of the law’s constitutionality. Here’s what the court said the last time a pro se litigant tried to use § 16-7-150 as the basis for a civil claim—

In short, he cannot bring a civil action for alleged violations of criminal statutes, see S.C. Code Ann. § 17-1-10[.]

Sanders v. Lowe’s Home Centers, LLC, et al., Case No. 15-CV-2313-JMC-PJG, Order and Opinion, ECF No. 103, (D.S.C. Sep. 27, 2016) at 6. (I suppose the reason the Cabin Boy™ missed this one is that it was issued the same day as the hearing in which Judge Hecker denied all of TDPS’s motions to dismiss in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.)

As I said in today’s TKPOTD, I don’t expect to need my motion to dismiss after the Magistrate Judge reviews Schmalfeldt’s complaint.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—The Gentle Reader may wish to note that the last time the U. S. District had to rule on a case in which a pro se litigant was stupid enough to try to use the South Carolina’s criminal defamation statute as the basis for a civil claim was for a case filed in 2015. (The first two digits of the case number correspond to the year the case was filed.) So it’s been almost two years since a pro se litigant has filed such an inept defamation case in that court.

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After a bit of bluster, the Cabin Boy™ wound up burning his one free complaint amendment in LOLsuit VIII in a failed attempt to remedy that and other errors. As usual, he failed miserably, but that was to be expected. Indeed, everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Since Brett Kimberlin unwisely took on Aaron Walker in 2012, every Team Kimberlin LOLsuit has ended in failure. Only one LOLsuit made it to trial after having most of its claims thrown out on summary judgment, and the trail was stopped before we defendants put on our case because The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin failed to offer any evidence to support his claims that we had defamed him or invaded his privacy. All TDPK’s peace order petitions similarly failed. None of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits have survived motions to dismiss. The peace order petition he filed against Patrick Grady failed because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt failed to face Mr. Grady in court.

One common feature of most of these LOLsuits has been making claims that aren’t supported by a lawful cause of action. I wrote about that in the TKPOTD from two years ago today.

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A recurring theme in many of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits is the inclusion of claims for nonexistent torts. For example, two of the claims in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit were thrown out at summary judgment because they weren’t based on any recognized cause of action. In that case, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to my codefendants and me for stalking and harassment, but while they are crimes, they are not torts. In the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, he’s trying to sue for conspiracy, and, as Judge Mason told him, that’s not a stand-alone tort either.

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has followed in his excellent friend’s footsteps. When he filed LOLsuit I: The Emotional Picture, he included a claim for harassment. In LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion, the Cabin Boy™ tried to sue for both harassment and conspiracy. In LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, … well, we’ll see.

Stay tuned.

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The Cabin Boy™ included claims in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact for which there were no causes of action and wound up having to withdraw them in his amended complaint, and that amend complaint was dismissed because, just like LOLsuits III, IV, and VI, he sued in courts not having personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

And butthurt is still not a tort.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Even a flatworm will turn away from pain, but Team Kimberlin has been a glutton for punishment. Back in 2014, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin lost the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt withdrew LOLsuit I after two days, saw his counterclaims that made up LOLsuit II dismissed with prejudice, and was the subject of a second peace order. After all that, they were still exchanging the Worst Advice of the Year

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The Dimwitted Hipster is leading the Cabin Boy™ astray.DemHip201412302152Z

Murum aries attigit.

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2015 wasn’t a good year for Team Kimberlin either. TDPK lost the RICO Madness LOLsuit and saw his untimely appeal of that case turned away by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. He filed his RICO Retread LOLsuit in state court, and a bunch of the defendants in that case were dismissed before year’s end. He filed a bogus peace order petition against me which was denied—as was his appeal of the denial—and the false criminal charge he filed against me was dropped. He also filed the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit which spilled over into 2016.

2015 went no better for the Cabin Boy™. LOLsuit III was dismissed by the U.S. District Court for lack of jurisdiction, LOLsuit IV was dismissed by the Circuit Court of Howard County for improper venue and failure to serve most of the defendants, and LOLsuit V was voluntarily dismissed with prejudice by Schmalfeldt when he fled from Maryland to Wisconsin.

2016 saw TDPK lose his appeal of the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit, the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit and its appeal and the Kimberlin v. McConnell LOLsuit and its appeal. His petition for a writ of mandamus to force Judge Hazel to modify the protective order in the RICO Retread LOLsuit was denied by the Fourth Circuit, and that court sanction him for including me in his frivolous appeal of RICO II. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuits VI and VII.

As 2017 grinds to a halt, Kimberlin has lost his appeal of the RICO Retread LOLsuit in the Maryland Court of Special Appeals and has withdrawn his appeal of the RICO II Retread LOLsuit from that court. The Cabin Boy™ has just had LOLsuit VIII booted by the U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina for lack of personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

2018 is coming. Stay tuned.

Murum aries attigit.