Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Being sued is a pain in the neck or a couple of feet lower. However, being sued by the incompetent pro se litigators of Team Kimberlin does his is lighter moments—such as when the many times The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfledt screwed up his paperwork in LOLsuit VIII. The TKPOTD from a year ago today dealt with one of his misunderstandings of the progress of that suit.

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PRE-UPDATE—This post was drafted during the early afternoon yesterday. Since then, the Cabin Boy™ has put out some tweets that show he may be beginning to understand his real situation. That may be, but I’m going leave this post in its original form—

The Cabin Boy™ either hasn’t read the U.S District Court for the District of South Carolina’s Guide for Pro Se Litigants and the order that was sent to him or his read comprehension is even worse than I thought. Or he’s lying.First, the Order issued on Friday clearly states that

[t]his case is not in proper form for service at this time. If Plaintiff does not bring this case into proper form within the time permitted by this Order, this case may be dismissed for failure to prosecute and failure to comply with an order of this court under Rule 41 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Next, the order explains what the Cabin Boy™ needs to submit and states that

[n]o process shall issue until the items specified above have been reviewed by the assigned Magistrate Judge.

Finally, the order instructs the Clerk of the Court that if

Plaintiff provides this court with the items assigned above, the Clerk of the Court should forward the file to the assigned Magistrate Judge to determine if service of process should be authorized.

The order was posted on Friday and mailed to the Cabin Boy™ that day. Even if he downloaded copies of the forms he is supposed to submit and mailed them back to the Clerk on Friday, they would not have been delivered to the court before Saturday, and would not be processed and forwarded to the judge until this morning at the earliest. It probably will be some time before the judge reviews any submission the Cabin Boy™ makes and decides whether to issue summonses. The verb should be authorized is in the future conditional tense which means that the possibility of the judge’s action rests on as yet unrealized circumstances, i.e,, the Cabin Boy™ getting his paperwork straight.

BTW, this analysis is consistent with the case docket as shown on PACER.There is nothing shown on the docket after the mailing of Friday’s order.

OTOH, here’s what a pro se case docket that did have a summons issued looks like.Notice that the issuance of the summons is specifically noted after the proper form order and the attachment of additional documents, events that don’t appear on the LOLsuit VIII docket yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

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The Gentle Reader can probably guess how I foresee LOLsuit IX proceeding if The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is foolish enough to file it.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


It’s no fun being sued, but it is satisfying when a court throws out all or part of a LOLsuit because it isn’t  based on any recognized cause of action. Several of the counts in The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s original Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit bit the dust at summary judgment because they weren’t things that could be the subject of a lawsuit, and the Hypertechincality Du Jour from a year ago today dealt with a non-tort alleged in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII.

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The core of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s problem is not that he is trying to use an unconstitutional statute and whether the federal court would enforce it. He has an even more basic procedural issue. He is trying to use a criminal statute as the basis of a civil claim. When a pro se litigant tries that (lawyers never seem to make the mistake), the court throws out the complaint without having to get into the issue of the law’s constitutionality. Here’s what the court said the last time a pro se litigant tried to use § 16-7-150 as the basis for a civil claim—

In short, he cannot bring a civil action for alleged violations of criminal statutes, see S.C. Code Ann. § 17-1-10[.]

Sanders v. Lowe’s Home Centers, LLC, et al., Case No. 15-CV-2313-JMC-PJG, Order and Opinion, ECF No. 103, (D.S.C. Sep. 27, 2016) at 6. (I suppose the reason the Cabin Boy™ missed this one is that it was issued the same day as the hearing in which Judge Hecker denied all of TDPS’s motions to dismiss in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.)

As I said in today’s TKPOTD, I don’t expect to need my motion to dismiss after the Magistrate Judge reviews Schmalfeldt’s complaint.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—The Gentle Reader may wish to note that the last time the U. S. District had to rule on a case in which a pro se litigant was stupid enough to try to use the South Carolina’s criminal defamation statute as the basis for a civil claim was for a case filed in 2015. (The first two digits of the case number correspond to the year the case was filed.) So it’s been almost two years since a pro se litigant has filed such an inept defamation case in that court.

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After a bit of bluster, the Cabin Boy™ wound up burning his one free complaint amendment in LOLsuit VIII in a failed attempt to remedy that and other errors. As usual, he failed miserably, but that was to be expected. Indeed, everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Since Brett Kimberlin unwisely took on Aaron Walker in 2012, every Team Kimberlin LOLsuit has ended in failure. Only one LOLsuit made it to trial after having most of its claims thrown out on summary judgment, and the trail was stopped before we defendants put on our case because The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin failed to offer any evidence to support his claims that we had defamed him or invaded his privacy. All TDPK’s peace order petitions similarly failed. None of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits have survived motions to dismiss. The peace order petition he filed against Patrick Grady failed because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt failed to face Mr. Grady in court.

One common feature of most of these LOLsuits has been making claims that aren’t supported by a lawful cause of action. I wrote about that in the TKPOTD from two years ago today.

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A recurring theme in many of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits is the inclusion of claims for nonexistent torts. For example, two of the claims in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit were thrown out at summary judgment because they weren’t based on any recognized cause of action. In that case, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to my codefendants and me for stalking and harassment, but while they are crimes, they are not torts. In the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, he’s trying to sue for conspiracy, and, as Judge Mason told him, that’s not a stand-alone tort either.

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has followed in his excellent friend’s footsteps. When he filed LOLsuit I: The Emotional Picture, he included a claim for harassment. In LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion, the Cabin Boy™ tried to sue for both harassment and conspiracy. In LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, … well, we’ll see.

Stay tuned.

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The Cabin Boy™ included claims in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact for which there were no causes of action and wound up having to withdraw them in his amended complaint, and that amend complaint was dismissed because, just like LOLsuits III, IV, and VI, he sued in courts not having personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

And butthurt is still not a tort.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Even a flatworm will turn away from pain, but Team Kimberlin has been a glutton for punishment. Back in 2014, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin lost the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt withdrew LOLsuit I after two days, saw his counterclaims that made up LOLsuit II dismissed with prejudice, and was the subject of a second peace order. After all that, they were still exchanging the Worst Advice of the Year

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The Dimwitted Hipster is leading the Cabin Boy™ astray.DemHip201412302152Z

Murum aries attigit.

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2015 wasn’t a good year for Team Kimberlin either. TDPK lost the RICO Madness LOLsuit and saw his untimely appeal of that case turned away by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. He filed his RICO Retread LOLsuit in state court, and a bunch of the defendants in that case were dismissed before year’s end. He filed a bogus peace order petition against me which was denied—as was his appeal of the denial—and the false criminal charge he filed against me was dropped. He also filed the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit which spilled over into 2016.

2015 went no better for the Cabin Boy™. LOLsuit III was dismissed by the U.S. District Court for lack of jurisdiction, LOLsuit IV was dismissed by the Circuit Court of Howard County for improper venue and failure to serve most of the defendants, and LOLsuit V was voluntarily dismissed with prejudice by Schmalfeldt when he fled from Maryland to Wisconsin.

2016 saw TDPK lose his appeal of the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit, the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit and its appeal and the Kimberlin v. McConnell LOLsuit and its appeal. His petition for a writ of mandamus to force Judge Hazel to modify the protective order in the RICO Retread LOLsuit was denied by the Fourth Circuit, and that court sanction him for including me in his frivolous appeal of RICO II. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuits VI and VII.

As 2017 grinds to a halt, Kimberlin has lost his appeal of the RICO Retread LOLsuit in the Maryland Court of Special Appeals and has withdrawn his appeal of the RICO II Retread LOLsuit from that court. The Cabin Boy™ has just had LOLsuit VIII booted by the U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina for lack of personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

2018 is coming. Stay tuned.

Murum aries attigit.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bill Schmalfeldt never amounted to much, but over the past five years that he’s been trying to cyberstalk and harass me, he’s managed to diminish himself and his place in the world even further. This year has seen a particularly rapid decline.

As 2016 turned the corner into 2017, the Cabin Boy™ moved from a nice apartment in a complex for senior citizens near Milwaukee to a bungalow in Clinton, Iowa. His Stage Eleventy-Six Parkinson’s disease went into sufficient remission that was was able to drive and hold down a job. But not for long.

Within weeks of returning to the airwaves as an afternoon DJ, he was let go for what appears to be insubordination (based on Tweets he published around that time). It also seems that shortly thereafter his driving skills had sufficiently deteriorated that he managed to ruin a couple of tires on the beater he had bought. His futile attempt to blame someone else for the damage failed, and the Clinton Police Department took no action on his complaint.

After less than four months in Clinton, “they know me here,” Iowa, the Cabin Boy™ moved to South Carolina, ostensibly for love. He hadn’t been there long when found that he was going to be stuck living in extended stay hotels and motels because he could not qualify to rent a house or apartment. That realization appears to be one of the triggers for Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Indeed, he alleged in that LOLsuit that South Carolina landlords were refusing to rent to him because of what they had read after doing Google searches on his name. Of course, he had no evidence to support such a claim, as Magistrate Judge West pointed out in her Recommendation that the case be dismissed:

It is noted that Plaintiff provides no proof other than his own self-serving statements …

And another of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits has bitten the dust.

So the Cabin Boy’s™ living arrangements look to be spiraling further down hill. The jokes about cardboard boxes and dumpsters may not be too far off.

Schmalfeldt appears to believe that he had one win during the year. He did, sorta kinda, in that I was not awarded damages in my breach of contract lawsuit against him. However, the court found that he breached the contract, and during the course of the case, he admitted to the knowing use of my copyrighted works without permission. He didn’t appeal the findings in that case, so they are now settled. And useful. As I’ve said before, I’m not done with Schmalfeldt yet.

If he doesn’t self-destruct first.

Qapla’


I received a phone call a few minutes ago from Louis Nettles, the lawyer representing my codefendants and me pro bono in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. The suit is now officially dead.

I wish thank Mr. Nettles for his help.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—I’ll just make one other point concerning LOLsuit VIII for now. As I’ve noted before, I’m not through with Bill Schmalfeldt yet. The proper next step depended on the outcome of this case. Now that it is resolved, the appropriate course of action is defined.

Based on advice from our lawyer, I’ve not published much about  this case while it was in progress. I’ll have more to tell the Gentle Readers about LOLsuit VIII over the next few days.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Is LOLsuit IX: Desperation coming? The Cabin Boy™ seems to be making threats of the direst of dire direness once again—Rather than fisk the whole thing, I’ll limit my pointage, laughery, and mockification to the first and last tweets of that thread.

The Cabin Boy™ continues to display his lack of understanding of the Rules of Evidence, Patrick Grady is under no obligation to admit or deny whether his is Paul Krendler based on Schmalfeldt’s flimsy complaints. If The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt wants to sue Paul Krendler, the burden is on the Cabin Boy™ to correctly identify who he is suing. I’ll also note that Paul Krendler has not admitted to being any one particular individual. For all the Cabin Boy™ knows, he’s being tag teamed. Further, Schmalfeldt has now sued Grady four times alleging that he is Paul Krendler, and one of those suits was dismissed with prejudice. IANAL, but I’ll bet that Fed. R. Civ. P. 41 prohibits any further such suits at this point.

As for the last tweet, which “authorities”? What new crime is TDPS going to allege that Paul Krendler has committed? Or has the Cabin Boy™ still not figured out that the cops aren’t going to waste time on Schmalfeldt’s butthurt?

Oh, one more thing … LOLsuit VIII has not been formally dismissed. We’re not done with the Cabin Boy™ yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—Fixed a typo. Also, here are some logins and some more tweets:

2017 DEC 24 06:02:12 UTC Home Page
2017 DEC 24 06:04:31 UTC 2017/12/24/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1746
2017 DEC 24 06:05:43 UTC 2017/12/23/are-you-pondering-what-im-pondering-2932
2017 DEC 24 06:09:59 UTC 2017/12/23/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1745
2017 DEC 24 06:11:13 UTC 2017/12/22/blognet-87
2017 DEC 24 06:15:01 UTC 2015/12/21/hit-a-nerve-have-we-4/screen-shot-2013-03-20-at-8-46-14-pm-700×336