Why Is The Cabin Boy™ Hiding?

Parties to a court action are required to keep the court informed of their current contact information, including their addresses. The Cabin Boy™ has a history of failing to live up to that obligation, so it’s not surprising that he hasn’t informed the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina (where he filed his Schmalfeldt v. Grady, et al. LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact) of his present whereabouts. Here’s how PACER reported the case docket as of 12:30 ET this afternoon.The last change of address notice on the PACER docket is for his move to Ocean Blvd. in Myrtle Beach. He has moved again since then.

I wonder if The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt knows what he’s really hiding from.

Or how ineffectively he’s doing it.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Cabin Boy™ doesn’t seem to remember what happened the last time he was scheduled to appear in court with Patrick Grady. Here’s Patrick Grady’s Story from three years ago today.


The following is a guest post by Patrick Grady:

I flew into BWI late Thursday night. John was waiting at baggage claim for me. This had been arranged by an offer from a truly gracious host, and not by request. After a full day of work and half a night of travel, I was very, very grateful.

John drove me to the motel where I now sit typing this. If Bill knew how close I am … well, suffice it to say that I am glad this motel sits on top of a good sized hill next to the highway. I checked in, hung my suit, cursed myself for the one medical incidental item I forgot (guess all you want – I’m not saying), improvised a solution, and crashed hard.

Woke up this mornin’, got myself a gun …  (Sorry. Soprano’s reference). Went downstairs and availed myself of the free breakfast – the saving of the Hockey Parent, I’ll tell you. Went back up and prepped for battle.

I had a bit of free time, so I did a lttle work printing off more information that might come in handy later in the day. John arrived just before I finished. I packed up and we headed for Ellicott City. We sat down in the Einstein Bagels previously mentioned by John with – you guessed it – bagels and coffee. We did not spot any lurking photographers.

We dicussed strategy and options. To tell the truth, I came here with the intention of vigorously pursuing all available legal options, both civil and criminal. I filled out and we printed a copy of a Maryland Peace Order, and I made preparations to file it.

Our next stop was the courthouse. We went to the clerk’s office and waited a few minutes in line. Howard County folks seem to have more patience than the functionaries in Cook County, IL. I suspect that may relate to workload volume.

I gave my name. In return, the lady said something like, “Come again?” I repeated it, and I told her I would like to file a Peace Order. I also had some paperwork from Cook County that I would like to have served. She asked against whom, and I told her. The look I got in return was a combination of sympathy and gratitude. She told me that Mr. Schmalfeldt had called and intended to come in later to drop the order. She needed to fetch a sheriff and pull the file, and she also needed to get her supervisor.

The supervisor arrived first. Her attitude and demeanor was similar to the previous clerk.

If I were a less observant fellow, a man who misses facial expressions, a man who doesn’t catch snippets of conversation from the other side of the glass and the occasional sidewise glance and roll of the eye, I might believe that the Howard County law enforcement apparatus had not developed a widely held opinion regarding the overall character of my opponent. After a brief discussion of the current status – there was the Temporary Peace Order pending a hearing in an hour or so in this building, and I have a Stalking No Contact order hearing pending in Cook County, IL, the supervisor told me she could not accept a Peace Order filing in Howard County when there was another similar order based on the same acts pending in another state. If both orders were granted, and violated in both jurisdictions, both or neither might decide to pursue prosecution. With just one order – “on YOUR home field, Mr, Grady” was never spoken, but I inferred it – prosecution would be more likely. Plus, she did say, anything that was filed here in Howard County would obligate me, if I wished to follow through fully, to return for hearings and for any trials where I would be a witness. Again, I inferred from this that the easier way for me was to continue to work through Cook County.

That made my decision for me. Even though I was in Howard County (and I have already read of the efficacy of the Maryland courts at work, which also was a factor), I was being strongly recommended, if not told outright, to go home and press my case on familiar ground – and good luck go with you.

Next, a sheriff’s deputy came to talk with me. He was very straightforward in serving me with the Peace Order paperwork. I told him I already had it, even though I had not been served by Cook County. He asked where I got it, and I told him I had it from Bill’s blog post on the subject.

A brief look of amazement passed across his face. Then he served me papers I already had.

John and I retired to the waiting area outside the courtrooms, setting up on the “high ground” with a view of the parking lot, the better to observe enemy movements, and avail ourselves of “good cover and clear fields of fire,” said John. We waited. Else what’s a waiting area for?

Courtroom 3 opened at 1:00 PM for the 1:15 hearing. We took seats at about five past. The bailiff began calling parties for check-in, and it was immediately clear by his butchering of the last name, that Schmalfeldt v. Grady was at the top of the docket call list. The bailiff called all petitioners, top to bottom (heh – he said “bottom”), followed by all respondents in the same way.

John suggested that the judge could move the case down the docket and call it again, giving Bill more time to appear with his sooper dooper Friday Surprise. We both doubted he would. John did not see any of the usual Team K suspects in evidence to indicate that outcome.

Judge Mary Reese entered the room at about 1:45, immediately apologizing for tardiness, as she was dealing with some issues with detectives in her chambers. Court came into session. She too went through a checklist of parties to ask how many witnesses each party intended to call. “Scham? Schammelfeldt?” The snide grin that popped onto my face was automatic. Whoops.

Going through the checklist, she moved two other cases to be heard and dismissed immediately by mutual consent of the parties. Easy-peasy.

She called “Scham-schammelfeldt vs. Grandy” and I went up, correcting my name. Without being given a chance to say another word, she dismissed the order for Petitioner Failure To Appear (IMO, the last two words being needless). It was over so quickly that the idea of a) mentioning this is the second PO the Mr. Schammelfeldt has filed against me this year, with the same result, and b) asking if I could recover fees and costs from petitioner by court order was dead before I could open my mouth.

John said he thought she may have recognized Petitoner’s name and been eager to be done with this waste of the court’s time.

Works for me.

On to Timbuktu, where I received an education in Maryland crab cakes (YUM!) and a Sam Adams Winter Lager.

It was very tasty, but in concert with the pharmacopeia in my body, we all had an enjoyable afternoon nap.

* * * * *

<sarc>Isn’t it amazing how all that could happen to someone who wasn’t in Maryland today?</sarc>

UPDATE—Grady Was Here


Of course, the odds that The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII will survive the motion to dismiss are such that I doubt Patrick will have any need to travel to South Carolina for any court appearances.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Sigh. We’re still waiting for news from the various Team-Kimberlin-related court cases. One of those cases is the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. This recycled post was originally published three years ago today as The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

* * * * *

Last night, I was running iTunes in random mode when The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Paul Dukas came up. The first time I can remember hearing that piece was when I saw the movie Fantasia at the Tennessee theater in downtown Nashville back in the ’50s. The work is a symphonic poem that tells the story of Goethe’s poem Der Zauberlehrling. You probably know the story: Rather than do his chores the old fashioned way, a young apprentice tries to use magic. He loses control of his enchanted broom but is saved in the end when his master returns and sets things right. Mickey Mouse plays the apprentice in the Disney version.

But back to my story …

I didn’t initially realize what was playing in the background because I was concentrating on writing today’s Team Kimberlin Post of the Day. When I did notice the music, it struck me as somewhat related to what I was writing. The post was about Bill Schmalfeldt’s bumbling attempts at lawfare. He’s tried to use lawfare as an easy pushback against the various attempts to hold him accountable for his online harassment and cyberthuggery. Yet, each time he tries something, the legal waves break higher and higher against him.

One wonders—will his master save him?

Probably not.

His master has been no more successful in the long run with his lawfare. Team Kimberlin’s performance, by master or apprentice, can’t even be described as “mickey mouse.”

* * * * *

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

We’re still waiting for news from the The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s appeal of the RICO Remnant LOLsuit and the other pending Team-Kimberlin-related cases, so here’s another blast from the past. This was posted four years ago today as Acme Law Fights Back

* * * * *

Apparently, Acme Legal is trying to find a way to combat the dreaded res judicata.Acme-Disintegrating-Pistol

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VIII is the only Team Kimberlin LOLsuit that hasn’t gone down in flames. Yet. When it does, I’ll bet that res judicata will be one of the reasons it is dismissed for failure to state a claim—unless it’s dismissed for the more basic reason of the court’s lack of personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Its clear that the Cabin Boy™ has problems with his memory. He did an end zone dance last week celebrating the order from the magistrate judge managing the Schmalfeldt v. Grady, et al. LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact noting that the U.S Marshals Service no longer needs to try to serve Patrick Grady because he has already filed motions in the suit which has the effect of waiving service. The Cabin Boy™ did another end zone dance this summer when Grady joined in our joint motion to dismiss. In that earlier celebration, he note that Grady had waived service.

I wonder if he remembers this post published as Reward Claimed! two years ago today—

* * * * *

wms201511060015Zwms201511060017ZI hereby claim half the reward. The other half should go to Brett Kimberlin for outing me in his Kimberlin v. Team Themis, et al. RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit complaint.ECF 1-58

I should get my share for verifying my address and phone number. They are are 20 Ridge Road, Westminster, Maryland  21157, and (410) 596-2854. Since I don’t have a SEEKRIT SITE, I cannot provide a non-existent password.

Failure to pay the reward forthwith will be considered proof by the Cabin Boy™ that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin is lying in his complaint.


UPDATE 2—The Cabin Boy™ has verified in a comment below that he won’t honor his reward offer. Furthermore, under the conditions outlined above, he appears to confirm that Brett Kimberlin lied in his RICO 2 complaint.

UPDATE 3—Perhaps the Gentle Reader is wondering why the Cabin Boy™ offered the reward. One might guess that he feels flush with insurance cash, but I don’t think that’s the reason. I think he’s taken a page out of the Team Kimberlin playbook of offering a reward with no intention of paying. I’ll bet he believes that the “reward” gives him a basis for saying that some anonymous person ratted out [insert harassment target’s name here] as Krendler and that it provides cover for his next faildox.

* * * * *

I still don’t have my reward money. I guess Brett Kimberlin isn’t the only deadbeat on his team.

Legal LULZ Du Jour

An infestation in my timeline on The Twitterz indicates that the Cabin Boy™ is excited about the prospect of confronting Patrick Grady in court. (Schmalfeldt has a chance to do so three years ago when he filed a peace order petition against Patrick, but he chickened out and failed to appear at the hearing.)Maybe Patrick Grady will have to appear in court at the same time as the Cabin Boy™, but I doubt it. Indeed, I very much doubt that The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII will survive our motion to dismiss.

BTW, the magistrate judge riding herd on the LOLsuit issued an order today taking note of the fact that the lawyer represent the four defendants filed an appearance on Patrick’s behalf in July and motions on our behalf in August. That had the effect of waiving service, so the USMS can stop trying to serve Patrick. If the Cabin Boy™ had been on the ball, he could have saved himself 300 bucks.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

I see from an intrusion into my Twitter timeline that the Cabin Boy™ seems excited that the U.S. Marshals Service has finally served Patrick Grady with a summons in LOLsuit VIII. 

However, there’s one small problem; Patrick hasn’t been served. This is from the U.S. Marshals Process Receipt and Return—Of course, the case going forward didn’t depend on Patrick being served. That will be determined by the court’s decision on our motion to dismiss. Patrick joined with Sarah Palmer, Eric Johnson, and me in filing a motion to dismiss back in August.

BTW, there were costs associated with not servicing Patrick. This is also from the U.S. Marshals Process Receipt and Return—There were also fees for the service of summonses on two of the other defendants: Sarah Palmer, $83.70 and Eric Johnson, $21.50. There was no cost to serve me because my counsel filed his appearance quickly. Because the Cabin Boy™ is proceeding in forma pauperis, he hasn’t had to pay those fees. Yet.

This is from the U.S. Marshals Service FAQ on service of process—When the Cabin Boy™ loses, the court may require that he pay those service fees. Schmalfeldt might want to set aside $405.30 just in case.