Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the world’s best examples of the Dunning-Kruger effect is Bill Schmalfeldt’s overestimation of his understanding of law and legal principles. This Prevarication Du Jour from three years ago today deals with one of his mistakes during LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact.

* * * * *

For the record, Aaron Walker has only represented me in court in The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s appeal of the RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit in the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeal. Aaron won that appeal for me and also an award of sanctions against Kimberlin for filing his frivolous appeal against me.

Aaron is not a member of the state bar in South Carolina or the bar of the U. S. District Court down there. Any counsel I have engaged or might engage already is a member of the bar of that District Court.

Aaron has never written any court paper for me that he did not sign as my counsel. Any statement to the contrary is false, has no evidentiary basis, and might be the basis of a counterclaim in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact.

Nothing is proceeding as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.

* * * * *

LOLsuit VIII was The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s last LOLsuit so far. The thrashing he received was sufficient to prevent him from any further legal LULZ for a couple of years. Recently, he’s got himself in a copyright mess, and he’s been making noises about another LOLsuit.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


July seems fo be bogus subpoena month for Team Kimberlin. Here are a pair of posts about subpoenas requests made during a couple of their LOLsuits. The first is the TKPOTD from five years ago today and deals with The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s RICO Remnant LOLsuit. The second is a Legal LULZ Du Jour from three years ago today. It deals with The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact.

* * * * *

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin is scurrying about trying to put together a case against Patterico to keep the remnant of the RICO Madness LOLsuit alive. He’s asked the court to issue these subpoenas.

I may have more to say about this in a day or two.

* * * * *

Wanna bet?

This is what the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina Information on Representing Yourself in a Civil Action says about subpoenas on page 16—

Also—

Notice to Other Parties Before Service. If the subpoena commands the production of documents, electronically stored information, or tangible things or the inspection of premises before trial, then before it is served on the person to whom it is directed, a notice and a copy of the subpoena must be served on each party.

—Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 45(a)(4)

So The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt won’t get any subpoenas issued until after the Court has granted a motion allowing them (a motion that would likely be opposed), and if he gets any subpoenas, he can’t serve them until he has served a copy on each defendant.

Nothing is likely to proceed as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.

* * * * *

The U. S. District Court for the District of Maryland never issued those subpoena Brett Kimberlin sought. However, it did issue a subsequent one directed to me, but Kimberlin never properly served it. I could have blown it off, but in an effort to avoid further hassles, I responded with all of the relevant information I had. Because nothing I provided was helpful to his case, TDPK filed a motion to have me sanctioned by the court. That motion died when Paterico won the case.

The U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina never issued any of the subpoenas in Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII because he never complied with the court’s rules regarding pro se subpoenas.

In both cases everything wound up proceeding as I had foreseen.

And both the losers lost.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bill Schmalfeldt spent years cyberstalking an harassing me in his capacity as a PR flack for Team Kimberlin. As the TKPOTD from two years ago today recounts, that didn’t turn out well for him.

* * * * *

Bill Schmalfeldt never amounted to much, but over the past five years that he’s been trying to cyberstalk and harass me, he’s managed to diminish himself and his place in the world even further. This year has seen a particularly rapid decline.

As 2016 turned the corner into 2017, the Cabin Boy™ moved from a nice apartment in a complex for senior citizens near Milwaukee to a bungalow in Clinton, Iowa. His Stage Eleventy-Six Parkinson’s disease went into sufficient remission that was was able to drive and hold down a job. But not for long.

Within weeks of returning to the airwaves as an afternoon DJ, he was let go for what appears to be insubordination (based on Tweets he published around that time). It also seems that shortly thereafter his driving skills had sufficiently deteriorated that he managed to ruin a couple of tires on the beater he had bought. His futile attempt to blame someone else for the damage failed, and the Clinton Police Department took no action on his complaint.

After less than four months in Clinton, “they know me here,” Iowa, the Cabin Boy™ moved to South Carolina, ostensibly for love. He hadn’t been there long when found that he was going to be stuck living in extended stay hotels and motels because he could not qualify to rent a house or apartment. That realization appears to be one of the triggers for Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Indeed, he alleged in that LOLsuit that South Carolina landlords were refusing to rent to him because of what they had read after doing Google searches on his name. Of course, he had no evidence to support such a claim, as Magistrate Judge West pointed out in her Recommendation that the case be dismissed:

It is noted that Plaintiff provides no proof other than his own self-serving statements …

And another of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits has bitten the dust.

So the Cabin Boy’s™ living arrangements look to be spiraling further down hill. The jokes about cardboard boxes and dumpsters may not be too far off.

Schmalfeldt appears to believe that he had one win during the year. He did, sorta kinda, in that I was not awarded damages in my breach of contract lawsuit against him. However, the court found that he breached the contract, and during the course of the case, he admitted to the knowing use of my copyrighted works without permission. He didn’t appeal the findings in that case, so they are now settled. And useful. As I’ve said before, I’m not done with Schmalfeldt yet.

If he doesn’t self-destruct first.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ once told a court here in Maryland that being force to go out in weather that was just above freezing would be a serious risk for him because he suffered from Parkinson’s disease.

It is 33 F in Ashland, Wisconsin, as I type this post, and the National Weather Service forecast for tomorrow is

Rain and snow, becoming all snow after 10am. The snow could be heavy at times. Temperature falling to around 29 by 5pm. Breezy, with a north wind 10 to 15 mph, with gusts as high as 25 mph. Chance of precipitation is 100%. New snow accumulation of 5 to 9 inches possible.

Hmmmmm.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the basic false premises of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits has been that it is defamatory to tell the truth about them. The implied threat of legal consequences dealt with in this post, Hit a Nerve, Have We?, from three years ago today never materialized, but the post shows how a member of Team Kimberlin (Bill Schmalfeldt in this case) can easily be triggered by the facts.

* * * * *

I found this in my inbox this morning. The timestamp is in GMT. The Cabin Boy™ sent this within 5 minutes of logging in just after midnight ET.bs-email-201612260529zIt’s apparent that the Cabin Boy™ appears to be unaware of the meaning of apparent.

apparent | ə-ˈper-ənt | adj.: based on evidence that may or may not be factually valid.

The Gentle Reader may read the email exchange of the negotiations in question, consider the Cabin Boy’s™ subsequent filing of bar complaints, and decide for himself whether it appears the Cabin Boy™ negotiated in good faith.

Meanwhile, I stand by my post.

UPDATE—Moar mail from the Cabin Boy™—bs-email-201622261620z

I stand by my post.

* * * * *

And Schmalfeldt didn’t do anything.

Eventually, the Cabin Boy™ would sue me one more time, and of course, lost that case (LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact) as he did all the others.

Facts are stubborn things.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Back in 2017, my codefendants and I were still involved in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Two years ago today, one Schmalfeldt’s filings in that case resulted in this post about More Federal Follies. When the Cabin Boy™ tried to file a second amended complaint which added a group of John D’oh! defendants, the court kicked his paperwork back because it was screwed up.

* * * * *

This appeared on PACER—

My named codefendants and I have filed our consent to this motion because dismissing the D’oh! Defendants will expedite our bringing certain matters to the court’s attention and spare the D’oh! Defendants the hassle of dealing with this frivolous LOLsuit.

* * * * *

Even with being able to pick up the pace of our defense, it still took several more months to put an end to LOLsuit VIII.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the common failings among most of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits has been suing for things that aren’t actual causes of action for civil cases. For example, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin sued my codefendants and me for harassment and stalking in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and the court threw those counts out because they’re not things one can bring a suit over in Maryland. The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has similar issues with many of his cases. The TKPOTD from three year ago today deals with one such problem with LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

* * * * *

Here’s a bit of Wisconsin case law that may affect the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—

Wisconsin does not recognize “false light invasion of privacy[.]”

Ladd v. Uecker, 2010 WI.App. 28, 789 N.W.2d 216, 218 (2010). IANAL, but it raises an interesting question.

* * * * *

The Gentle Reader should not be surprised to learn that the Cabin Boy’™ claim for false light invasion of privacy failed.

Team Kimberlin is made up of slow learners. Even by the time of LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact in 2017, three years after Kimberlin had his harassment and stalking counts dismissed from the first LOLsuit, Count I in the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit was for “Harassment and Stalking.”

Stupid is as stupid does.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Four years ago today, Bill Schmalfeldt filed LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock in the U.S. District Court for the District of Maryland. I took notice of his action in a post titled In Re a LOLsuit.

* * * * *

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is at it again.

He has also filed an application to proceed in forma pauperis.

I do not plan to make any substantive comment on this suit until I have thoroughly reviewed the complaint.

* * * * *

Now that the suit is long dead, I’ll offer this comment: Bwahahahahahahahahahah!

Although the suit could have been dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief could be granted, the judge didn’t have to get that far into the complaint. TDPS had filed in the wrong court, so the case was kicked for lack of jurisdiction. That led the Cabin Boy™ to file LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion in the Circuit Court for Howard County, Maryland. Although that suit could have been dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief could be granted, the judge didn’t have to get that far into the complaint. Schmalfeldt had filed his state complaint in the wrong county, so the suit was dismissed for lack of jurisdiction.

The Cabin Boy™ left me out of his lawfare attempts until he got around to filing LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact in the U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina. Although the suit could have been dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief could be granted, the judge didn’t have to get that far into the complaint. The judge found that … wait for it … the court lacked personal jurisdiction over any of the defendants, so the case was dismissed for lack of jurisdiction.

Everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The TKPOTD a few days ago dealt with Bill Schmalfedt’s sticking his nose into to something that wasn’t any of his business. He has a history of doing that quite a lot. This post from three years ago today titled It’s Billogical! details another example of his unwelcome intrusion into the lives of others.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy’s™ wild goose du jour has to do with his finding a prayer request for a woman he believes is Patrick Grady’s wife in a bulletin from a church in the same town where the Gradys live. He offers no evidence that the Gradys are members or otherwise associated with that church or that the woman in question is actually Patrick Grady’s wife. They may be, and she may be, but he offers no evidence.

But that’s not the real Billogical leap.

The Cabin Boy™ has latched onto the fantasy that the prayer request proves that the post published by Paul Krendler about his daughter being in an accident is somehow about Mrs. Grady instead. Because of all this, he imagines that Patrick Grady has some explaining to do. (Apparently, Grady is Paul Krendler again.) This is another example of Schmalfeldt’s inability to keep timestamps straight.

Krendler’s post about his daughter was put up on 28 May, 2015, and the church bulletin is for May, 2015. The Cabin Boy™ has thus jumped to the conclusion that these dates prove … something! Of course, what it proves is that Schmalfeldt has no idea of the meaning of due diligence. If he had examined the bulletin’s metadata, he would have seen that it was published at the end of April—just like most other publications that laid out a schedule of events for a coming month of May. Moreover, if he had looked at the next item down the page from the prayer request he would have seen this—NatDayPrayer

If the bulletin was published in a time frame where “May 7th” was “next Thursday,” then it probably was issued before that date. All the Cabin Boy™ had to do was read the entire page where he found that prayer request, and he would have known that his “evidence” didn’t fit his Billogical preconceptions.

Bill Schmalfeldt has yet again invaded the privacy of the Grady family (and perhaps a second family and their church as well). I’ve met Patrick Grady. He strikes me as a thoughtful and patient fellow, but if I were in his shoes, my patience would be exhausted, and I would be seeking to have the existing stalking no contact order enforced.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ included Patrick Grady among the defendants in his most recent losing LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Neither The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt nor The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin have been able top establish the identity of Paul Krendler. The Cabin Boy™ claimed that Patrick Grady am Paul Krendler in LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland, and that case was dismissed with prejudice. Schmalfeldt’s excellent friend claimed that I am Paul Krendler in his RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. That suit was dismissed with prejudice.

By 2016, TDPK had lost enough LOLsuits to figure out that res judicata prevented him from recycling his specious claims against me, and he dropped me from the state RICO 2 Retread LOLsuit. However, The Cabin Boy™ is a slower learner. He sued Patrick Grady alleging that he’s Paul Krendler three more times. He hasn’t done a fourth time. Yet. We’ve yet to see if he’s really learned his lesson.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


It’s been a year now since the Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact was thrown out of court, and we haven’t seen any further lawfare spewing forth from Team Kimberlin during 2018. It’s been a pleasant break. This time a year ago, we couldn’t be sure that 2018 would be as quiet as it has been—as was noted in the TKPOTD from a year ago today.

* * * * *

Is LOLsuit IX: Desperation coming? The Cabin Boy™ seems to be making threats of the direst of dire direness once again—Rather than fisk the whole thing, I’ll limit my pointage, laughery, and mockification to the first and last tweets of that thread.

The Cabin Boy™ continues to display his lack of understanding of the Rules of Evidence, Patrick Grady is under no obligation to admit or deny whether his is Paul Krendler based on Schmalfeldt’s flimsy complaints. If The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt wants to sue Paul Krendler, the burden is on the Cabin Boy™ to correctly identify who he is suing. I’ll also note that Paul Krendler has not admitted to being any one particular individual. For all the Cabin Boy™ knows, he’s being tag teamed. Further, Schmalfeldt has now sued Grady four times alleging that he is Paul Krendler, and one of those suits was dismissed with prejudice. IANAL, but I’ll bet that Fed. R. Civ. P. 41 prohibits any further such suits at this point.

As for the last tweet, which “authorities”? What new crime is TDPS going to allege that Paul Krendler has committed? Or has the Cabin Boy™ still not figured out that the cops aren’t going to waste time on Schmalfeldt’s butthurt?

Oh, one more thing … LOLsuit VIII has not been formally dismissed. We’re not done with the Cabin Boy™ yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—Fixed a typo. Also, here are some logins and some more tweets:

2017 DEC 24 06:02:12 UTC Home Page
2017 DEC 24 06:04:31 UTC 2017/12/24/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1746
2017 DEC 24 06:05:43 UTC 2017/12/23/are-you-pondering-what-im-pondering-2932
2017 DEC 24 06:09:59 UTC 2017/12/23/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1745
2017 DEC 24 06:11:13 UTC 2017/12/22/blognet-87
2017 DEC 24 06:15:01 UTC 2015/12/21/hit-a-nerve-have-we-4/screen-shot-2013-03-20-at-8-46-14-pm-700×336

* * * * *

Of course, The Dread Deadbeat Protector Kimberlin has had a busy year protecting our elections, and It may be that  job-related travel took up too much of the Cabin Boy’s™ time, so it’s possible that something will pop up during 2019 if their schedules and poor judgment permit.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the consistent themes put forward by Team Kimberlin is that they are the victims of false narratives and that their defeats in court have been the result of unfair treatment by judges or cheating by the opposing parties. The Legal LULZ Du Jour from three years ago dealt with one example of such a silly claim. Note: The “Lynn” referred to in the first tweet is a woman who wound up getting a restraining order against Bill Schmalfeldt.

* * * * *

Thus tweeteth the Cabin Boy™—dbr201512111512Zdbr201512111514ZLet’s see … the last time the Cabin Boy™ sued me … oh, yeah, that was the LOLsuit in the Circuit Court for Howard County. Now, how did that go?

Yeah, I remember now. Judge Kramer dismissed the suit against the out-of-state defendants because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt had failed to serve them, and she dismissed the case against me because I was being sued in the wrong county. Now, I’m pretty sure that I told the judge that I lived in Carroll County and didn’t work in Howard County, and I didn’t lie about that.

Hmmmm.dbr201512111516ZIt must be some technicality under Acme Law that makes living outside of Howard County a form of cheating. Still, I don’t remember any sense of humiliation as a result of winning.

Perhaps I’m not the one with a progressive brain disorder.

UPDATE—dbr201515111732Z

*yawn*

* * * * *

The Truth is not Team Kimberlin’s friend.

Oh, and the Cabin Boy™ sued me once more. I was a defendant in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. That case was dismissed against me because of the court’s lack of personal jurisdiction, i.e., Schmalfeldt sued me in the wrong court. Again.

Come to think of it, the state law claims that The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to bring against me in the RICO Madness and RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuits were also dismissed because the U. S. District Court lacked jurisdiction. The RICO Retread LOLsuit could have been dismissed in state court for improper venue, but the judge dismissed it for failure to state a claim in order for the dismissal to be with prejudice.

Incompetent cases filed in the wrong courts. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern here.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One year ago today, I posted some LOLsuit VIII News.

* * * * *

I just received a phone call from Louis Nettles, the pro bono lawyer representing my codefendants and me in Schmalfeldt v. Grady, et al. LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. He informs me that the Magistrate Judge has recommended that the suit be dismissed. I haven’t read the recommendation yet, and I will not have any comment on it until I have read it and discussed it fully with our counsel.

I will post a copy of the recommendation later this evening.

UPDATE—Here’s the Magistrate’s Recommendation.

The Recommendation speaks for itself. I don’t intend to make any public comment about it except through counsel until the judge rules on our motion to dismiss.

* * * * *

And so The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has been out of the LOLsuit business for a year. He’s tried his hand an other pursuits and been equally successful with them.

Karma is a bitch.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


A newcomer to this blog might wonder why I write about Brett Kimberlin and his compatriots. This post, which was first published as the TKPOTD a year ago today, provides a bit of an explanation.

* * * * *

I started this blog to write about things that interest me, and one of those topics is issues relating to the First Amendment. That interest led me to participate in the Everybody Blog About Brett Kimberlin Day blogburst back in 2012, and that, in turn, led to my focus on Brett Kimberlin and his associates.

Kimberlin has tried to use the force of the government in the form of nuisance lawsuits and false criminal complaints to suppress truthful reporting about his past and present activities, but that has not been his sole tool in his campaign of brass knuckles reputation management. Team Kimberlin has also engaged in various forms of online harassment, much of which has been perpetrated by Bill Schmalfeldt.

When anyone has taken steps to hold Schmalfeldt accountable for his actions, he has replied with failed legal actions, false DMCA takedown notices, and blustery threats.

It’s been over three-and-a-half years since that threat, and the only times law enforcement has been to my house since I started this blog were to investigate an attempted break-in and to take a complaint against Schmalfeldt for failure to obey a peace order. I seem to be in full control of this blog as I have been since Day One.

Meanwhile, we’re still waiting for news in the pending Team-Kimberlin-related court cases.

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

At least one of the pending court cases has been finished since that was originally posted. Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact( in which I was one of the defendants) was dismissed by the U. S. District Court for the District of South Carolina.

Team Kimberlin has maintained their perfect record by losing everything they’ve filed since the beginning of 2012.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


A year ago, I was still a defendant in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. While the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuits have been inconvenient, his incompetence in pursuing them has been a magnificent source of pointage, laughery, and mockification. This originally ran as the TKPOTD a year ago today.

* * * * *

Rather than file a proper response to my lawyer’s motion for a more definite statement in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact, the Cabin Boy™ appears to using the Twitterz to clarify one of his allegations against me.If his tweet is truthful, then the only allegedly defamatory remark in the paragraph the Cabin Boy™ cites is my reference to him as a deranged cyberstalker. If that’s the case, then he is admitting that the rest of the paragraph is not defamatory.

If his tweet is truthful, then Bill Schmalfeldt believes that it is not defamatory to say he is a liar. Or that he is untrustworthy. Or that he fails to live up to his agreements. Or that he fled Maryland.

Paradoxically, if his tweet is truthful, then its author is a liar.

If his tweet is truthful.

* * * * *

Even liars sometimes tell the truth.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin’s failures at lawfare aren’t limited to The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s LOLsuits. All of the LOLsuits filed by The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt have been spectacular sources of pointage, laughery, and mockification as well. The TKPOTD from two years ago today dealt with LOLsuit VII: Degenrations.

* * * * *

So the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VII: Degenerations has been voluntarily dismissed without prejudice. I’ll bet that the Cabin Boy™ thinks that means that he can still file another LOLsuit against Patrick Grady and/or Sarah Palmer alleging the same butthurt again. I’ll also bet that he would be wrong.

IANAL, but I can read a law book. When I read Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 41(a)(1)(B), I find these words concerning the effect of a voluntary dismissal:

But if the plaintiff previously dismissed any federal- or state-court action based on or including the same claim, a notice of dismissal operates as a adjudication on the merits.

IIRC, LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler targeted both Patrick Grady and Sarah Palmer with claims that overlapped with LOLsuit VII. If I’m understanding FRCP 41 correctly, my characterization of “really most sincerely dead” applies to LOLsuit VII. With an adjudication on the merits res judicata should now apply.

res_judicata_mugsActually, Patrick Grady probably could have relied on res judicata as a defense in LOLsuit VII, because he was targeted in LOLsuit V and LOLsuit VI. Other people are probably also covered to some extent: Eric Johnson (LOLsuits III, IV, and VI), Roy Schmalfeldt (LOLsuits V and VI), Paul Krendler (LOLsuits I and III), Nancy Gilly (LOLsuits I and VI), Howard Earl (LOLsuits III and IV), and me (LOLsuits I and III).

The Cabin Boy™ really is giving The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin a real contest for the title of World’s Worst Pro-Se Litigant™.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

* * * * *

And as I foresaw, the Cabin Boy™ didn’t learn much from LOLsuit VII, and the next year he filed LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. He lost that one too.

Has the Cabin Boy™ learned his lesson?

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Being sued is a pain in the neck or a couple of feet lower. However, being sued by the incompetent pro se litigators of Team Kimberlin does his is lighter moments—such as when the many times The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfledt screwed up his paperwork in LOLsuit VIII. The TKPOTD from a year ago today dealt with one of his misunderstandings of the progress of that suit.

* * * * *

PRE-UPDATE—This post was drafted during the early afternoon yesterday. Since then, the Cabin Boy™ has put out some tweets that show he may be beginning to understand his real situation. That may be, but I’m going leave this post in its original form—

The Cabin Boy™ either hasn’t read the U.S District Court for the District of South Carolina’s Guide for Pro Se Litigants and the order that was sent to him or his read comprehension is even worse than I thought. Or he’s lying.First, the Order issued on Friday clearly states that

[t]his case is not in proper form for service at this time. If Plaintiff does not bring this case into proper form within the time permitted by this Order, this case may be dismissed for failure to prosecute and failure to comply with an order of this court under Rule 41 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Next, the order explains what the Cabin Boy™ needs to submit and states that

[n]o process shall issue until the items specified above have been reviewed by the assigned Magistrate Judge.

Finally, the order instructs the Clerk of the Court that if

Plaintiff provides this court with the items assigned above, the Clerk of the Court should forward the file to the assigned Magistrate Judge to determine if service of process should be authorized.

The order was posted on Friday and mailed to the Cabin Boy™ that day. Even if he downloaded copies of the forms he is supposed to submit and mailed them back to the Clerk on Friday, they would not have been delivered to the court before Saturday, and would not be processed and forwarded to the judge until this morning at the earliest. It probably will be some time before the judge reviews any submission the Cabin Boy™ makes and decides whether to issue summonses. The verb should be authorized is in the future conditional tense which means that the possibility of the judge’s action rests on as yet unrealized circumstances, i.e,, the Cabin Boy™ getting his paperwork straight.

BTW, this analysis is consistent with the case docket as shown on PACER.There is nothing shown on the docket after the mailing of Friday’s order.

OTOH, here’s what a pro se case docket that did have a summons issued looks like.Notice that the issuance of the summons is specifically noted after the proper form order and the attachment of additional documents, events that don’t appear on the LOLsuit VIII docket yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

* * * * *

The Gentle Reader can probably guess how I foresee LOLsuit IX proceeding if The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is foolish enough to file it.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


It’s no fun being sued, but it is satisfying when a court throws out all or part of a LOLsuit because it isn’t  based on any recognized cause of action. Several of the counts in The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s original Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit bit the dust at summary judgment because they weren’t things that could be the subject of a lawsuit, and the Hypertechincality Du Jour from a year ago today dealt with a non-tort alleged in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII.

* * * * *

The core of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s problem is not that he is trying to use an unconstitutional statute and whether the federal court would enforce it. He has an even more basic procedural issue. He is trying to use a criminal statute as the basis of a civil claim. When a pro se litigant tries that (lawyers never seem to make the mistake), the court throws out the complaint without having to get into the issue of the law’s constitutionality. Here’s what the court said the last time a pro se litigant tried to use § 16-7-150 as the basis for a civil claim—

In short, he cannot bring a civil action for alleged violations of criminal statutes, see S.C. Code Ann. § 17-1-10[.]

Sanders v. Lowe’s Home Centers, LLC, et al., Case No. 15-CV-2313-JMC-PJG, Order and Opinion, ECF No. 103, (D.S.C. Sep. 27, 2016) at 6. (I suppose the reason the Cabin Boy™ missed this one is that it was issued the same day as the hearing in which Judge Hecker denied all of TDPS’s motions to dismiss in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.)

As I said in today’s TKPOTD, I don’t expect to need my motion to dismiss after the Magistrate Judge reviews Schmalfeldt’s complaint.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—The Gentle Reader may wish to note that the last time the U. S. District had to rule on a case in which a pro se litigant was stupid enough to try to use the South Carolina’s criminal defamation statute as the basis for a civil claim was for a case filed in 2015. (The first two digits of the case number correspond to the year the case was filed.) So it’s been almost two years since a pro se litigant has filed such an inept defamation case in that court.

* * * * *

After a bit of bluster, the Cabin Boy™ wound up burning his one free complaint amendment in LOLsuit VIII in a failed attempt to remedy that and other errors. As usual, he failed miserably, but that was to be expected. Indeed, everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Since Brett Kimberlin unwisely took on Aaron Walker in 2012, every Team Kimberlin LOLsuit has ended in failure. Only one LOLsuit made it to trial after having most of its claims thrown out on summary judgment, and the trail was stopped before we defendants put on our case because The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin failed to offer any evidence to support his claims that we had defamed him or invaded his privacy. All TDPK’s peace order petitions similarly failed. None of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits have survived motions to dismiss. The peace order petition he filed against Patrick Grady failed because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt failed to face Mr. Grady in court.

One common feature of most of these LOLsuits has been making claims that aren’t supported by a lawful cause of action. I wrote about that in the TKPOTD from two years ago today.

* * * * *

A recurring theme in many of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits is the inclusion of claims for nonexistent torts. For example, two of the claims in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit were thrown out at summary judgment because they weren’t based on any recognized cause of action. In that case, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to my codefendants and me for stalking and harassment, but while they are crimes, they are not torts. In the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, he’s trying to sue for conspiracy, and, as Judge Mason told him, that’s not a stand-alone tort either.

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has followed in his excellent friend’s footsteps. When he filed LOLsuit I: The Emotional Picture, he included a claim for harassment. In LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion, the Cabin Boy™ tried to sue for both harassment and conspiracy. In LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, … well, we’ll see.

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ included claims in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact for which there were no causes of action and wound up having to withdraw them in his amended complaint, and that amend complaint was dismissed because, just like LOLsuits III, IV, and VI, he sued in courts not having personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

And butthurt is still not a tort.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Even a flatworm will turn away from pain, but Team Kimberlin has been a glutton for punishment. Back in 2014, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin lost the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt withdrew LOLsuit I after two days, saw his counterclaims that made up LOLsuit II dismissed with prejudice, and was the subject of a second peace order. After all that, they were still exchanging the Worst Advice of the Year

* * * * *

The Dimwitted Hipster is leading the Cabin Boy™ astray.DemHip201412302152Z

Murum aries attigit.

* * * * *

2015 wasn’t a good year for Team Kimberlin either. TDPK lost the RICO Madness LOLsuit and saw his untimely appeal of that case turned away by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. He filed his RICO Retread LOLsuit in state court, and a bunch of the defendants in that case were dismissed before year’s end. He filed a bogus peace order petition against me which was denied—as was his appeal of the denial—and the false criminal charge he filed against me was dropped. He also filed the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit which spilled over into 2016.

2015 went no better for the Cabin Boy™. LOLsuit III was dismissed by the U.S. District Court for lack of jurisdiction, LOLsuit IV was dismissed by the Circuit Court of Howard County for improper venue and failure to serve most of the defendants, and LOLsuit V was voluntarily dismissed with prejudice by Schmalfeldt when he fled from Maryland to Wisconsin.

2016 saw TDPK lose his appeal of the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit, the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit and its appeal and the Kimberlin v. McConnell LOLsuit and its appeal. His petition for a writ of mandamus to force Judge Hazel to modify the protective order in the RICO Retread LOLsuit was denied by the Fourth Circuit, and that court sanction him for including me in his frivolous appeal of RICO II. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuits VI and VII.

As 2017 grinds to a halt, Kimberlin has lost his appeal of the RICO Retread LOLsuit in the Maryland Court of Special Appeals and has withdrawn his appeal of the RICO II Retread LOLsuit from that court. The Cabin Boy™ has just had LOLsuit VIII booted by the U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina for lack of personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

2018 is coming. Stay tuned.

Murum aries attigit.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bill Schmalfeldt never amounted to much, but over the past five years that he’s been trying to cyberstalk and harass me, he’s managed to diminish himself and his place in the world even further. This year has seen a particularly rapid decline.

As 2016 turned the corner into 2017, the Cabin Boy™ moved from a nice apartment in a complex for senior citizens near Milwaukee to a bungalow in Clinton, Iowa. His Stage Eleventy-Six Parkinson’s disease went into sufficient remission that was was able to drive and hold down a job. But not for long.

Within weeks of returning to the airwaves as an afternoon DJ, he was let go for what appears to be insubordination (based on Tweets he published around that time). It also seems that shortly thereafter his driving skills had sufficiently deteriorated that he managed to ruin a couple of tires on the beater he had bought. His futile attempt to blame someone else for the damage failed, and the Clinton Police Department took no action on his complaint.

After less than four months in Clinton, “they know me here,” Iowa, the Cabin Boy™ moved to South Carolina, ostensibly for love. He hadn’t been there long when found that he was going to be stuck living in extended stay hotels and motels because he could not qualify to rent a house or apartment. That realization appears to be one of the triggers for Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Indeed, he alleged in that LOLsuit that South Carolina landlords were refusing to rent to him because of what they had read after doing Google searches on his name. Of course, he had no evidence to support such a claim, as Magistrate Judge West pointed out in her Recommendation that the case be dismissed:

It is noted that Plaintiff provides no proof other than his own self-serving statements …

And another of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits has bitten the dust.

So the Cabin Boy’s™ living arrangements look to be spiraling further down hill. The jokes about cardboard boxes and dumpsters may not be too far off.

Schmalfeldt appears to believe that he had one win during the year. He did, sorta kinda, in that I was not awarded damages in my breach of contract lawsuit against him. However, the court found that he breached the contract, and during the course of the case, he admitted to the knowing use of my copyrighted works without permission. He didn’t appeal the findings in that case, so they are now settled. And useful. As I’ve said before, I’m not done with Schmalfeldt yet.

If he doesn’t self-destruct first.

Qapla’


I received a phone call a few minutes ago from Louis Nettles, the lawyer representing my codefendants and me pro bono in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. The suit is now officially dead.

I wish to thank Mr. Nettles for his help.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—I’ll just make one other point concerning LOLsuit VIII for now. As I’ve noted before, I’m not through with Bill Schmalfeldt yet. The proper next step depended on the outcome of this case. Now that it is resolved, the appropriate course of action is defined.

Based on advice from our lawyer, I’ve not published much about  this case while it was in progress. I’ll have more to tell the Gentle Readers about LOLsuit VIII over the next few days.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Is LOLsuit IX: Desperation coming? The Cabin Boy™ seems to be making threats of the direst of dire direness once again—Rather than fisk the whole thing, I’ll limit my pointage, laughery, and mockification to the first and last tweets of that thread.

The Cabin Boy™ continues to display his lack of understanding of the Rules of Evidence, Patrick Grady is under no obligation to admit or deny whether his is Paul Krendler based on Schmalfeldt’s flimsy complaints. If The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt wants to sue Paul Krendler, the burden is on the Cabin Boy™ to correctly identify who he is suing. I’ll also note that Paul Krendler has not admitted to being any one particular individual. For all the Cabin Boy™ knows, he’s being tag teamed. Further, Schmalfeldt has now sued Grady four times alleging that he is Paul Krendler, and one of those suits was dismissed with prejudice. IANAL, but I’ll bet that Fed. R. Civ. P. 41 prohibits any further such suits at this point.

As for the last tweet, which “authorities”? What new crime is TDPS going to allege that Paul Krendler has committed? Or has the Cabin Boy™ still not figured out that the cops aren’t going to waste time on Schmalfeldt’s butthurt?

Oh, one more thing … LOLsuit VIII has not been formally dismissed. We’re not done with the Cabin Boy™ yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—Fixed a typo. Also, here are some logins and some more tweets:

2017 DEC 24 06:02:12 UTC Home Page
2017 DEC 24 06:04:31 UTC 2017/12/24/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1746
2017 DEC 24 06:05:43 UTC 2017/12/23/are-you-pondering-what-im-pondering-2932
2017 DEC 24 06:09:59 UTC 2017/12/23/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1745
2017 DEC 24 06:11:13 UTC 2017/12/22/blognet-87
2017 DEC 24 06:15:01 UTC 2015/12/21/hit-a-nerve-have-we-4/screen-shot-2013-03-20-at-8-46-14-pm-700×336

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Two weeks ago yesterday, the magistrate judge assigned to The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfelt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact filed an amended recommendation in the case. The amended corrected a typographical error and didn’t change the substance of her recommendation—the LOLsuit should be dismissed because the court lacks personal jurisdiction over any of the defendants. The Cabin Boy™ had 14 days to file an objection to the recommendation. Time ran out at close of business yesterday, and the PACER case docket did not show any such filing from Schmalfeldt when I checked it after close of business yesterday evening.

It’s possible that he filed something too late in the day to have been scanned into PACER. If he did file something, it should appear online today, but I’m betting that he didn’t file anything.

Here’s why: He would have to include his current contact information, including his address, with any filing. I believe that he has moved again and is trying to conceal his current location in order to avoid being served with … he’s not sure what, but he’s hiding from it.

It won’t work. The court has the means to find him. But …

Cowardly cowards gotta cower.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


This week marked the beginning of the end for the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact as the magistrate judge assigned to the case recommended dismissal for the court’s lack of personal jurisdiction over any of the defendants.

LOLsuit: The Emotional Picture—Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, McCain, Gilly, Lemmen, Haper, Heather, Kiernan, Dykes, Sheiko, and Krendler, Case No. 14-CV-01685-CCB (D.Md. 2104); filed 20 May, 2014; withdrawn by Plaintiff 22 May, 2014.

LOLsuit II: The Wrath of Copyrights—Hoge v. Schmalfeldt, Case No. 14-CV-01683-ELH (D.Md. 2014); counterclaims against Hoge, Heather, and Krendler filed on 3 June, 2014; amended counterclaims against Hoge and Krendler filed on 5 June, 2014; counterclaims dismissed with prejudice 15 August, 2014.

LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock—Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, Hoge, Krendler, and Earl, Case No. 15-CV-00315-RDB (D.Md. 2015); filed 2 February, 2015; motion to proceed in forma pauperis denied 18 February, 2015; dismissed for lack of jurisdiction 18 February, 2015.

LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion—Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, Johnson, Krendler, and Earl, Case No. 13-C-15-102498 (Md.Cir.Ct. Howard Co. 2015); filed 23 February, 2015; dismissed for lack of service of process and improper venue 18 June, 2015.

LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland—Schmalfeldt v. Grady, Case No. 15-CV-01241-RDB (D.Md. 2015), filed 27 April, 2015; amended complaint against Grady, Hinckley, Edgren, Roy Schmalfeldt, “Grace,” “Ashterah,” and Earl filed 2 July, 2015; voluntarily dismissed with prejudice 19 August, 2015

LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—Schmalfeldt v. Grady, Johnson, Palmer, Deeley, The William G. Irwin Charitable Foundation, Gilly, John Does, and Jane Does, Case No. 15-CV-1516 (E.D.Wi., 2015); filed 18 December, 2015; voluntarily dismissed against Grady, Gilly, Deeley, and Irwin Foundation 1 February 2016; dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction for remaining defendants 1 July, 2016.

LOLsuit VII: Degenerations—Schmalfeldt v. Grady and Palmer, Case No. 16-CV-7150 (N.D.Il.); filed 11 July, 2016; voluntarily dismissed dismissed 23 September, 2016.

And now LOLsuit VIII bites the dust. One of these days, his unbroken record of failure will break through The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s delusions of adequacy, and he will stop filing these LOLsuits. Perhaps that day has come, but perhaps not. Just in case, the signup sheet to pick dates for the LOLsuit IX filing pool is posted in the break area.

LOLsuit VIII News


I just received a phone call from Louis Nettles, the pro bono lawyer representing my codefendants and me in Schmalfeldt v. Grady, et al. LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. He informs me that the Magistrate Judge has recommended that the suit be dismissed. I haven’t read the recommendation yet, and I will not have any comment on it until I have read it and discussed it fully with our counsel.

I will post a copy of the recommendation later this evening.

UPDATE—Here’s the Magistrate’s Recommendation.

The Recommendation speaks for itself. I don’t intend to make any public comment about it except through counsel until the judge rules on our motion to dismiss.