Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Since Brett Kimberlin unwisely took on Aaron Walker in 2012, every Team Kimberlin LOLsuit has ended in failure. Only one LOLsuit made it to trial after having most of its claims thrown out on summary judgment, and the trail was stopped before we defendants put on our case because The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin failed to offer any evidence to support his claims that we had defamed him or invaded his privacy. All TDPK’s peace order petitions similarly failed. None of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits have survived motions to dismiss. The peace order petition he filed against Patrick Grady failed because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt failed to face Mr. Grady in court.

One common feature of most of these LOLsuits has been making claims that aren’t supported by a lawful cause of action. I wrote about that in the TKPOTD from two years ago today.

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A recurring theme in many of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits is the inclusion of claims for nonexistent torts. For example, two of the claims in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit were thrown out at summary judgment because they weren’t based on any recognized cause of action. In that case, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to my codefendants and me for stalking and harassment, but while they are crimes, they are not torts. In the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, he’s trying to sue for conspiracy, and, as Judge Mason told him, that’s not a stand-alone tort either.

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has followed in his excellent friend’s footsteps. When he filed LOLsuit I: The Emotional Picture, he included a claim for harassment. In LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion, the Cabin Boy™ tried to sue for both harassment and conspiracy. In LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, … well, we’ll see.

Stay tuned.

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The Cabin Boy™ included claims in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact for which there were no causes of action and wound up having to withdraw them in his amended complaint, and that amend complaint was dismissed because, just like LOLsuits III, IV, and VI, he sued in courts not having personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

And butthurt is still not a tort.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Even a flatworm will turn away from pain, but Team Kimberlin has been a glutton for punishment. Back in 2014, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin lost the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt withdrew LOLsuit I after two days, saw his counterclaims that made up LOLsuit II dismissed with prejudice, and was the subject of a second peace order. After all that, they were still exchanging the Worst Advice of the Year

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The Dimwitted Hipster is leading the Cabin Boy™ astray.DemHip201412302152Z

Murum aries attigit.

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2015 wasn’t a good year for Team Kimberlin either. TDPK lost the RICO Madness LOLsuit and saw his untimely appeal of that case turned away by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. He filed his RICO Retread LOLsuit in state court, and a bunch of the defendants in that case were dismissed before year’s end. He filed a bogus peace order petition against me which was denied—as was his appeal of the denial—and the false criminal charge he filed against me was dropped. He also filed the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit which spilled over into 2016.

2015 went no better for the Cabin Boy™. LOLsuit III was dismissed by the U.S. District Court for lack of jurisdiction, LOLsuit IV was dismissed by the Circuit Court of Howard County for improper venue and failure to serve most of the defendants, and LOLsuit V was voluntarily dismissed with prejudice by Schmalfeldt when he fled from Maryland to Wisconsin.

2016 saw TDPK lose his appeal of the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit, the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit and its appeal and the Kimberlin v. McConnell LOLsuit and its appeal. His petition for a writ of mandamus to force Judge Hazel to modify the protective order in the RICO Retread LOLsuit was denied by the Fourth Circuit, and that court sanction him for including me in his frivolous appeal of RICO II. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuits VI and VII.

As 2017 grinds to a halt, Kimberlin has lost his appeal of the RICO Retread LOLsuit in the Maryland Court of Special Appeals and has withdrawn his appeal of the RICO II Retread LOLsuit from that court. The Cabin Boy™ has just had LOLsuit VIII booted by the U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina for lack of personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

2018 is coming. Stay tuned.

Murum aries attigit.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Bill Schmalfeldt never amounted to much, but over the past five years that he’s been trying to cyberstalk and harass me, he’s managed to diminish himself and his place in the world even further. This year has seen a particularly rapid decline.

As 2016 turned the corner into 2017, the Cabin Boy™ moved from a nice apartment in a complex for senior citizens near Milwaukee to a bungalow in Clinton, Iowa. His Stage Eleventy-Six Parkinson’s disease went into sufficient remission that was was able to drive and hold down a job. But not for long.

Within weeks of returning to the airwaves as an afternoon DJ, he was let go for what appears to be insubordination (based on Tweets he published around that time). It also seems that shortly thereafter his driving skills had sufficiently deteriorated that he managed to ruin a couple of tires on the beater he had bought. His futile attempt to blame someone else for the damage failed, and the Clinton Police Department took no action on his complaint.

After less than four months in Clinton, “they know me here,” Iowa, the Cabin Boy™ moved to South Carolina, ostensibly for love. He hadn’t been there long when found that he was going to be stuck living in extended stay hotels and motels because he could not qualify to rent a house or apartment. That realization appears to be one of the triggers for Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Indeed, he alleged in that LOLsuit that South Carolina landlords were refusing to rent to him because of what they had read after doing Google searches on his name. Of course, he had no evidence to support such a claim, as Magistrate Judge West pointed out in her Recommendation that the case be dismissed:

It is noted that Plaintiff provides no proof other than his own self-serving statements …

And another of The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits has bitten the dust.

So the Cabin Boy’s™ living arrangements look to be spiraling further down hill. The jokes about cardboard boxes and dumpsters may not be too far off.

Schmalfeldt appears to believe that he had one win during the year. He did, sorta kinda, in that I was not awarded damages in my breach of contract lawsuit against him. However, the court found that he breached the contract, and during the course of the case, he admitted to the knowing use of my copyrighted works without permission. He didn’t appeal the findings in that case, so they are now settled. And useful. As I’ve said before, I’m not done with Schmalfeldt yet.

If he doesn’t self-destruct first.


I received a phone call a few minutes ago from Louis Nettles, the lawyer representing my codefendants and me pro bono in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. The suit is now officially dead.

I wish thank Mr. Nettles for his help.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—I’ll just make one other point concerning LOLsuit VIII for now. As I’ve noted before, I’m not through with Bill Schmalfeldt yet. The proper next step depended on the outcome of this case. Now that it is resolved, the appropriate course of action is defined.

Based on advice from our lawyer, I’ve not published much about  this case while it was in progress. I’ll have more to tell the Gentle Readers about LOLsuit VIII over the next few days.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Is LOLsuit IX: Desperation coming? The Cabin Boy™ seems to be making threats of the direst of dire direness once again—Rather than fisk the whole thing, I’ll limit my pointage, laughery, and mockification to the first and last tweets of that thread.

The Cabin Boy™ continues to display his lack of understanding of the Rules of Evidence, Patrick Grady is under no obligation to admit or deny whether his is Paul Krendler based on Schmalfeldt’s flimsy complaints. If The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt wants to sue Paul Krendler, the burden is on the Cabin Boy™ to correctly identify who he is suing. I’ll also note that Paul Krendler has not admitted to being any one particular individual. For all the Cabin Boy™ knows, he’s being tag teamed. Further, Schmalfeldt has now sued Grady four times alleging that he is Paul Krendler, and one of those suits was dismissed with prejudice. IANAL, but I’ll bet that Fed. R. Civ. P. 41 prohibits any further such suits at this point.

As for the last tweet, which “authorities”? What new crime is TDPS going to allege that Paul Krendler has committed? Or has the Cabin Boy™ still not figured out that the cops aren’t going to waste time on Schmalfeldt’s butthurt?

Oh, one more thing … LOLsuit VIII has not been formally dismissed. We’re not done with the Cabin Boy™ yet.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

UPDATE—Fixed a typo. Also, here are some logins and some more tweets:

2017 DEC 24 06:02:12 UTC Home Page
2017 DEC 24 06:04:31 UTC 2017/12/24/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1746
2017 DEC 24 06:05:43 UTC 2017/12/23/are-you-pondering-what-im-pondering-2932
2017 DEC 24 06:09:59 UTC 2017/12/23/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-1745
2017 DEC 24 06:11:13 UTC 2017/12/22/blognet-87
2017 DEC 24 06:15:01 UTC 2015/12/21/hit-a-nerve-have-we-4/screen-shot-2013-03-20-at-8-46-14-pm-700×336

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Two weeks ago yesterday, the magistrate judge assigned to The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfelt’s LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact filed an amended recommendation in the case. The amended corrected a typographical error and didn’t change the substance of her recommendation—the LOLsuit should be dismissed because the court lacks personal jurisdiction over any of the defendants. The Cabin Boy™ had 14 days to file an objection to the recommendation. Time ran out at close of business yesterday, and the PACER case docket did not show any such filing from Schmalfeldt when I checked it after close of business yesterday evening.

It’s possible that he filed something too late in the day to have been scanned into PACER. If he did file something, it should appear online today, but I’m betting that he didn’t file anything.

Here’s why: He would have to include his current contact information, including his address, with any filing. I believe that he has moved again and is trying to conceal his current location in order to avoid being served with … he’s not sure what, but he’s hiding from it.

It won’t work. The court has the means to find him. But …

Cowardly cowards gotta cower.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This week marked the beginning of the end for the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact as the magistrate judge assigned to the case recommended dismissal for the court’s lack of personal jurisdiction over any of the defendants.

LOLsuit: The Emotional Picture—Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, McCain, Gilly, Lemmen, Haper, Heather, Kiernan, Dykes, Sheiko, and Krendler, Case No. 14-CV-01685-CCB (D.Md. 2104); filed 20 May, 2014; withdrawn by Plaintiff 22 May, 2014.

LOLsuit II: The Wrath of Copyrights—Hoge v. Schmalfeldt, Case No. 14-CV-01683-ELH (D.Md. 2014); counterclaims against Hoge, Heather, and Krendler filed on 3 June, 2014; amended counterclaims against Hoge and Krendler filed on 5 June, 2014; counterclaims dismissed with prejudice 15 August, 2014.

LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock—Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, Hoge, Krendler, and Earl, Case No. 15-CV-00315-RDB (D.Md. 2015); filed 2 February, 2015; motion to proceed in forma pauperis denied 18 February, 2015; dismissed for lack of jurisdiction 18 February, 2015.

LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion—Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, Johnson, Krendler, and Earl, Case No. 13-C-15-102498 (Md.Cir.Ct. Howard Co. 2015); filed 23 February, 2015; dismissed for lack of service of process and improper venue 18 June, 2015.

LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland—Schmalfeldt v. Grady, Case No. 15-CV-01241-RDB (D.Md. 2015), filed 27 April, 2015; amended complaint against Grady, Hinckley, Edgren, Roy Schmalfeldt, “Grace,” “Ashterah,” and Earl filed 2 July, 2015; voluntarily dismissed with prejudice 19 August, 2015

LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—Schmalfeldt v. Grady, Johnson, Palmer, Deeley, The William G. Irwin Charitable Foundation, Gilly, John Does, and Jane Does, Case No. 15-CV-1516 (E.D.Wi., 2015); filed 18 December, 2015; voluntarily dismissed against Grady, Gilly, Deeley, and Irwin Foundation 1 February 2016; dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction for remaining defendants 1 July, 2016.

LOLsuit VII: Degenerations—Schmalfeldt v. Grady and Palmer, Case No. 16-CV-7150 (N.D.Il.); filed 11 July, 2016; voluntarily dismissed dismissed 23 September, 2016.

And now LOLsuit VIII bites the dust. One of these days, his unbroken record of failure will break through The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s delusions of adequacy, and he will stop filing these LOLsuits. Perhaps that day has come, but perhaps not. Just in case, the signup sheet to pick dates for the LOLsuit IX filing pool is posted in the break area.