Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


February has not been a good month for The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt. Yesterday, we celebrated the fourth anniversary of his filing of LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock. Today, it’s the third anniversary of his filing the first amended complaint in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. I posted his amended complaint in this INMTUYK.

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The Cabin Boy™ actually filed this—

Portions of the exhibits have been redacted because they contain material that is unsuitable for this blog.

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The exhibits he attached put the transcripts of his skits that some consider to be kiddie porn in the court record. That placed the texts in the public domain. It also authenticated his authorship of them.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The TKPOTD a few days ago dealt with Bill Schmalfedt’s sticking his nose into to something that wasn’t any of his business. He has a history of doing that quite a lot. This post from three years ago today titled It’s Billogical! details another example of his unwelcome intrusion into the lives of others.

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The Cabin Boy’s™ wild goose du jour has to do with his finding a prayer request for a woman he believes is Patrick Grady’s wife in a bulletin from a church in the same town where the Gradys live. He offers no evidence that the Gradys are members or otherwise associated with that church or that the woman in question is actually Patrick Grady’s wife. They may be, and she may be, but he offers no evidence.

But that’s not the real Billogical leap.

The Cabin Boy™ has latched onto the fantasy that the prayer request proves that the post published by Paul Krendler about his daughter being in an accident is somehow about Mrs. Grady instead. Because of all this, he imagines that Patrick Grady has some explaining to do. (Apparently, Grady is Paul Krendler again.) This is another example of Schmalfeldt’s inability to keep timestamps straight.

Krendler’s post about his daughter was put up on 28 May, 2015, and the church bulletin is for May, 2015. The Cabin Boy™ has thus jumped to the conclusion that these dates prove … something! Of course, what it proves is that Schmalfeldt has no idea of the meaning of due diligence. If he had examined the bulletin’s metadata, he would have seen that it was published at the end of April—just like most other publications that laid out a schedule of events for a coming month of May. Moreover, if he had looked at the next item down the page from the prayer request he would have seen this—NatDayPrayer

If the bulletin was published in a time frame where “May 7th” was “next Thursday,” then it probably was issued before that date. All the Cabin Boy™ had to do was read the entire page where he found that prayer request, and he would have known that his “evidence” didn’t fit his Billogical preconceptions.

Bill Schmalfeldt has yet again invaded the privacy of the Grady family (and perhaps a second family and their church as well). I’ve met Patrick Grady. He strikes me as a thoughtful and patient fellow, but if I were in his shoes, my patience would be exhausted, and I would be seeking to have the existing stalking no contact order enforced.

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The Cabin Boy™ included Patrick Grady among the defendants in his most recent losing LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Neither The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt nor The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin have been able top establish the identity of Paul Krendler. The Cabin Boy™ claimed that Patrick Grady am Paul Krendler in LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland, and that case was dismissed with prejudice. Schmalfeldt’s excellent friend claimed that I am Paul Krendler in his RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. That suit was dismissed with prejudice.

By 2016, TDPK had lost enough LOLsuits to figure out that res judicata prevented him from recycling his specious claims against me, and he dropped me from the state RICO 2 Retread LOLsuit. However, The Cabin Boy™ is a slower learner. He sued Patrick Grady alleging that he’s Paul Krendler three more times. He hasn’t done a fourth time. Yet. We’ve yet to see if he’s really learned his lesson.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


I have to admit that I’ve found the pointage, laughery, and mockification assosciated with The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits that did not include me as a defendant as wonderful sources of amusement. Today is the third anniversary of the beginning of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

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The Cabin Boy™ has announced the filing of his next LOLsuit. He says that he’s mailed it to the U. S. District Court in Milwaukee and that the named defendants are Patrick Grady of Palatine, IL, Eric P. Johnson of Paris, TN, Sarah “Rose” Palmer of Reidsville, NC, Dianna Deeley of San Francisco, CA, The William G. Irwin Charitable Foundation of San Francisco, CA, and Nancy Gilly of Groton, CT. He says they engaged in State Law Torts, Unlawful Use of Computerized Communications Equipment, Harassment, Invasion of Privacy/Right to Publicity, Stalking, Defamation Per Se, and Mopery with Intent to Lurk Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.

orvilleredenbacherHe has also said that he will seek John Doe subpoenas to try to identify the following individuals to be added to his LOLsuit: Techno Jinx, MJ, Roy Schmalfeldt, Vigilans Vindex, Pablo, Neal N. Bob, This Other Latin F*cker, Perry Mason, Howard Earl, A.B., Tao, Jane, Grace, Dr_Mile [sic], Katie Scarlett, Rob Crawford, The 13th Diuke [sic] of Wymborne, Kobayashi Maru, AJ Fornicarious Hoc, JeffM, Gus Bailey, and Colonol [sic] Victor Trollpoker.

Click on the image above to buy more popcorn from Amazon.

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The bulk of LOLsuit VI collapsed fairly early on, and the case that lingered against a couple of the defendants was thoroughly defeated at the hands of a lawyer who the Cabin Boy™ had tried to deride as incompetent.

Nothing proceeded as the Cabin Boy™ had hallucinated.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the sillier aspects of Team Kimberlin’s attempts to use the courts for their campaign of brass knuckles reputation management has been their use of pro se LOLsuits. It’s been a pain in the neck (or a couple of feet lower) to be on the receiving end of some of them, but I’ve won every one that The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt have filed against me. Indeed, they haven’t won any of the cases they’ve filed since the beginning of 2012. One example of their pro se incompetence was pointed out in this Legal LULZ Du Jour from three years ago today.

Let me set the stage. During the closing days of 2105, the Cabin Boy™ was tooling up for what became LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, and he was ranting on the Internet about the direst of dire direness the he imagined lay ahead for his adversaries.

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The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is threatening Paul Krendler with a Brodie motion.TheMerryWidower201511282145Z

Apparently, the Cabin Boy™ is planning on bring suit in Maryland, the only state where so-called Brodie Motions are filed. A Brodie Motion asks a court for a John Doe subpoena to an ISP seeking a user’s identity pursuant to the case law in Independent Newspapers, Inc. v. Brodie, 407 Md. 415 (2009).

IANAL, but I’m unaware of any similar case law applicable in the Eastern District of Wisconsin or the Seventh Circuit.

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The Cabin Boy’s™ ignorance is of a special form. His problem isn’t that he doesn’t know much. It’s that so much of what he knows is wrong.

BTW, LOLsuit VI was aptly named. The Cabin Boy™ wasn’t able to use it to identify the anonymous blogger Paul Krendler. LOLsuits VII and VIII also failed.

Losing losers gotta lose.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


On the one hand, it can be a pain in the neck ( or a couple of feet lower) to be the target of one of Bill Schmalfeldt’s failed LOLsuits. OTOH, those suits have been bountiful sources of  pointage, laughery, and mockification as this post from two years ago about A Bad Day in St. Francis shows.

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Judge Joseph has issued an order dealing with all of the open motions in the LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler except for the defendants’ motion to dismiss.

“… nonsensical, not to mention impractical.” Yep, that’s about the size of it.

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When a judge starts referring to a litigant’s filings as “nonsensical, not to mention impractical,” you’d think that litigant might begin to wonder whether the court considers him to be credible and consider withdrawing his case. But LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler was filed by The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt, so months of further PLM ensued.

And some of us did well with our popcorn futures.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


There’s an old lawyer’s saying that when the facts are against you, stress the law; when the law is against you, stress the facts; and when the facts and the law are both against you, yell and pound the table. When yelling and pounding fail, Team Kimberlin provides us with Legal LULZ.

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SRUs201604151839ZIs either The Worst Attorney Teabagger® or TWAT® a registered trademark? If so, does either one belong to the Cabin Boy™?

17 U.S.C. § 1326 PENALTY FOR FALSE MARKING
(a) In General.—Whoever, for the purpose of deceiving the public, marks upon, applies to, or uses in advertising in connection with an article made, used, distributed, or sold, a design which is not protected under this chapter, a design notice specified in section 1306, or any other words or symbols importing that the design is protected under this chapter, knowing that the design is not so protected, shall pay a civil fine of not more than $500 for each such offense.

(b) Suit by Private Persons.—Any person may sue for the penalty established by subsection (a), in which event one-half of the penalty shall be awarded to the person suing and the remainder shall be awarded to the United States.

There’s a big difference in the meaning of ® compared to ™.

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Everyone time Team Kimberlin has filed a motion for sanctions against a defendant or defendants counsel, the motion has failed. Their motions to sanction third parties have failed. But there’s no surprise there. After all, all of their LOLsuits have been the equivalent of a knife at a gunfight.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Two years ago, LOLsuit VI The Undiscovered Krendler was alive, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has just filed a motion to disqualify Aaron Walker as counsel for the two remaining named defendants in the case. That motion included this sworn statement:

The Gentle Reader who has not been following The Saga of Team Kimberlin since 2016 should not be surprised to learn that the defendants filed an opposition to the Cabin Boy’s™ motion, and that Schmalfeldt reacted stupidly on Twitter. Hogewash! reported his folly under the headline I’m Not Making This Up, You Know.

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Given that every single paragraph of the declaration by Brett Kimberlin filed as an exhibit with the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to disqualify Aaron Walker as defense counsel in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler contains at least one provable lie, …Cheddar201603090233Z… the lack of self-awareness is … well, it’s about average for the Cabin Boy™.

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As usual, the Cabin Boy’s™ motion failed, and his case failed to survive a motion to dismiss.

Lying liars gotta lie, stupid is as stupid does, and everything proceeded as I had foreseen.