Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

After getting LOLsuits III, IV, and V dismissed in short order by state and federal courts in Maryland, Bill Schmalfeldt skulked off to St. Francis, Wisconsin, and it wasn’t long before he filed LOLsuit VI. Five years ago was A Bad Day in St. Francis for the Cabin Boy™.

* * * * *

Judge Joseph has issued an order dealing with all of the open motions in the LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler except for the defendants’ motion to dismiss.

“… nonsensical, not to mention impractical.” Yep, that’s about the size of it.

* * * * *

It took a couple more LOLsuits for Schmalfeldt to begin to understand how incompetent he is at pro se lawfare.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Pointage, laughery, and mockification have been strong elements of the coverage of Team Kimberlin’s lawfare here at Hogewash!. Five years ago today, Bill Schmalfeldt’s shenanigans in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler resulted in this I’m Not Making This Up, You Know post.

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Given that every single paragraph of the declaration by Brett Kimberlin filed as an exhibit with the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to disqualify Aaron Walker as defense counsel in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler contains at least one provable lie, …Cheddar201603090233Z… the lack of self-awareness is … well, it’s about average for the Cabin Boy™.

* * * * *

Oh, what a tangled web gets woven when a perjurer tries to uphold his “sterling” reputation.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Yesterday, we took a look at a post about a perjured declaration by Brett Kimberlin that Bill Schmalfeldt included as an exhibit in a motion to have Aaron Walker disqualified as the counsel for the defendants in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. Today, we’ll take a look at another exhibit from that motion, This post, The Sixth Nonsense, first ran five years ago today.

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We’ve made it to the last installment of our review of the exhibits The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has included with his motion to have Aaron Walker disqualified as defense counsel in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. The review of Exhibit 1 is here. Exhibits 2 and 3 are considered here. The post looking at Exhibit 4 is here. Fit the Fifth is here.

Exhibit 6 consists of newspaper clippings which the Cabin Boy™ imagines prove that Brett Kimberlin isn’t a terrorist.

The first two deal with reports for what appear to be two of the three trials for the Speedway Bombings. Rather than support the Cabin Boy’s™ argument, they support the view that Kimberlin is a terrorist in the everyday, common use of the term. Moreover, they do nothing to change the fact that Kimberlin sued claiming that Aaron Walker defamed him by calling him a terrorist, and Kimberlin lost that suit in 2014. Kimberlin brought up the same claim again in the RICO Retread LOLsuit, and he’s lost on that claim against every defendant whose motion to dismiss has been decided. So that question is settled as far as the law is concerned. It is not defamation to call Brett Kimberlin a terrorist.

There’s also a clipping of a obituary for Carl DeLong. The Supreme Court of Indiana ruled that Kimberlin was responsible for the wrongful death of Carl DeLong. There’s nothing in that clipping that voids the court’s finding.

Bill Schmalfeldt’s ill-conceived motion and risible exhibits are Acme Legal’s work at its shining best. He says he’s filed them. OK. Now, we wait for the anvil to drop.

* * * * *

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

For several weeks Bill Schmalfeldt bloviated about how he was going to win a default judgment in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler only to discover that the defendants had retained counsel who filed timely motions to dismiss the case. He seemed particularly worried when he found out Aaron Walker was the lawyer who had taken the case. The Cabin Boy™ quickly filed a rather silly motion seeking to have Aaron disqualified from the case. Among the massively wrong-headed exhibits filed with that motion was a declaration by Brett Kimberlin. This post, Brett Kimberlin “Misstates the Facts”, ran five years ago today.

* * * * *

I see that the Cabin Boy™ has posted the six exhibits attached to his motion to disqualify Aaron Walker as defense counsel in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. This is the first in a series of posts evaluating the quality of his evidence. It seems that The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is in full panic mode now that his plans for an easy default judgment have evaporated. His motion and its exhibits have the look of a half-baked attempt to smear Aaron Walker in the eyes of Judge Joseph. Nothing in the motion is germane to the case.

Exhibit 1 is a declaration under penalty of perjury by Brett Kimberlin. Here it is as posted by the Cabin Boy™. (Note: I have not redacted anything. I figure if Schmalfeldt put it online and published a link to it, then Kimberlin can discuss any lack of redaction with him.)

We’ll go paragraph by paragraph.

1.  According to Aaron, he did not meet Kimberlin until 9 January, 2012. That was the date the mythical assault allegedly occurred. Kimberlin sought a peace order based on his alleged assault and harassment, but the judge who issued the order found that no assault occurred and issued it based on harassment only. Additionally, the order was overturned on appeal. Thus, Kimberlin should be collaterally estopped from making that allegation again, but he keeps trying to recycle it. Further, one of the things he sued Aaron about in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit was Aaron’s claim that Kimberlin tried to frame him for the assault. Aaron won that suit. Thus, Kimberlin is also barred from making this assault claim by res judicata.

2. Kimberlin also claimed in Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. and in Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (II) that Aaron defamed him when Aaron told his side of the story of his firing after Kimberlin contacted his employer. Brett lost both suits. That’s a double helping of res judicata. Also, Brett spun his tale of how Aaron’s firing allegedly occurred by selectively publishing emails obtained in sealed discovery.

3. Frivolous criminal charges? There’s photographic evidence, some of which was published on Breitbart Unmasked, that documents Kimberlin’s stalking of Mrs. Walker. Also, not every lawsuit filed against Kimberlin has been dismissed. The Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. suit is alive and well and is headed for a motions hearing on the 10th. A five year campaign? 2016 – 2012 = 4.

4. Aaron Walker has never prepared a motion or other court paper that I have submitted to any court.

5. Brett sued Aaron for defamation concerning what Aaron wrote about pedophilia and terrorism, and Brett lost.

6. What documents? When has Aaron ever lied under oath? Put up or shut up.

7. Tetyana Kimberlin sought help during her domestic problems with her husband in 2013. Aaron offered her pro bono assistance until Zoa Barnes was hired as her attorney. The false claim that Aaron has harassed Tetyana’s older daughter was examined by the Montgomery County State’s Attorney’s Office when the Grace’s Law charge was filed last year. They dropped the charge for lack of evidence.

I’m an engineer not a lawyer. “Misstating the facts” is lawyer speak for what we engineers call lying. Brett Kimberlin is a liar.

* * * * *

I should clarify point 4 above. It was true at the time I wrote the original post. Subsequently, I hired Aaron to represent me in a matter before the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. He filed several motions and other papers on my behalf in the course of his winning the case for me.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

A pair of post from five years ago today were a double-whammy for Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. The first was bit of Undiscovered Krendler News.

* * * * *

This has appeared on PACER.

I’ve been told to expect more to appear on the case docket over the next 24 to 48 hours.

UPDATE—

* * * * *

It was followed later in the day with the news that there would be No Default in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

* * * * *

Aaron Walker, the lawyer representing Sarah Palmer and Eric Johnson in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, has filed a timely motion to dismiss in the case, so neither defendant will default.

I’ll post the memorandum of law in support of the motion and a couple of other motions later this evening. If the Cabin Boy™ wants to see what he’s up against sooner than that, he can download the filings from PACER for ten cents a page.

UPDATE—It seems that the Cabin Boy™ no longer views his reach via Twitter or any of his blogs as sufficient to get his message out, and he is resorting mooching bandwidth by commenting here at Hogewash!. His comments will be moderated and let through at my convenience.

UPDATE 2—Oh, one more thing … The Cabin Boy™ won’t be able to delete any comment he makes here, and even if the site were to go down, his comments are backed up offline as they are received.

* * * * *

Among the many comments the Cabin Boy™ left at Hogewash! that day, this one was probably the most insightful—

Of course, he didn’t have the good sense to follow his own advice.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Today is the fifth anniversary of LOLsuit VI:The Undiscovered Krendler—The Complaint.

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Here’s The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s complaint—

I found this paragraph particularly amusing.ECF 1-41

UPDATE—It’s one thing to have FUN pointing and laughing at Cabin Boy’s™ stupidity. It’s something else to offer comments that educate him on how to amend his complaint. Please don’t educate the Blob. Otherwise, I will have to shut down comments on this post.

* * * * *

When Brett Kimberlin filed the first RICO Madness LOLsuit, he screwed up the listing of defendants in the caption of the complaint, and there was quite a bit of curfuffle over a forged summons before The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin was finally able to add the missing defendant. The Cabin Boy™ was headed down a similar path with LOLsuit VI. Paragraph 41 in the body of the complaint refers to me as a defendant, but I’m not listed in the caption, resulting in a bit of pointage, laughery, and mockification until the complaint was amended.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Ah, the Third of September, a dual anniversary. It was on 3 September, 2012, that a person I then referred to as “Some bozo calling himself the Liberal Grouch” came to my attention by threatening. to sue Aaron Walker for defamation. And on this date in 2015, the first defendants were dismissed from Brett Kimberlin’s RICO Retread LOLsuit. I reported on the 2015 hearing in this post titled A Mixed Bag.

* * * * *

Here’s a brief summary of this morning’s hearing in the Kimberlin v. Most of the Universe, et al. RICO Retread LOLsuit.

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberln was sanctioned for $760 in attorney’s fees because he was a no-show at the previous hearing.

The case was dismissed against Michelle Malkin, Twitchy, Breitbart, Glenn Beck, The Blaze, and Mercury Radio Arts for lack of person jurisdiction.

Aaron Walker was told to refile his motion to dismiss for technical reasons.

TDPK has been given 15 days to try to figure out how to properly amend his complaint to get around my motion to dismiss for improper venue.

More details later.

UPDATE—The dismissals for Michelle Malkin and the others were also based on Kimberlin’s failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted.

* * * * *

IIRC, Bill Schmalfeldt never got around to suing Aaron Walker, but Aaron did successfully represent two of the defendants in one of the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuits.

Oh, and one of the grounds for dismissal of the RICO Retread LOLsuit for failure to state a claim upon which relief could be granted was that the court found that Brett Kimberlin’s reputation was so bad that he was defamation proof, that is was not possible to defame him.

Meanwhile, the @ItsTime_2020 Twitter account still didn’t have any followers as of 10 pm ET Wednesday evening.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

I believe that I’m mentioned before that the members of Team Kimberlin are liars. The odd thing about their lying is their massive incompetence at it. You’d think that anyone with as much practice would eventually learn how to tell a decent whooper. Their lies about their LOLsuits and the in the court papers they filed resulted in an ongoing set of posts titled Prevarication Du Jour. This one ran four years ago today.

* * * * *

Ahem.RD201603261501ZSo the Cabin Boy™ believes that my characterization of Judge Joseph’s order constitutes a lie. Well, I suppose he’s entitled to that belief. However, he’s mistaken.

The Gentle Reader should note that I did not present the underlined words as a direct quote from the judge, but as a summary. She ordered the parties—both plaintiff and defendants—to stop filing paperwork until she could rule on the pending motion to dismiss. That would include things such as the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to disqualify counsel and the defendants’ opposition. It would include stuff such as the paperwork the Cabin Boy™ filed last Monday and any defense responses that would be necessary. Thus, I believe that an impartial observer would find that my words are, in fact, a reasonable summary of the judge’s order.

* * * * *

You’d think that someone alleged to have GS-13 editorial skills would have better reading comprehension.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

After Bill Schmalfeldt fled Maryland after losing LOLsuits III, IV, and V in rapid succession, he spent a bit more than a year in Milwaukee where he lost LOLsuits VI. He then moved on to his hometown of Clinton, Iowa, where he was briefly employed as a disk jockey at a local FM station. That gig didn’t last long, and his failure to keep the job was the subject of some pointage, laughery, and mockification in the comments here at Hogewash!, and that, of course, prompted an outburst from the Cabin Boy™ which was chronicled in a post titled Hilarious? Hilarious How? which ran three years ago today.

* * * * *

What does he mean I’m hilarious? What does he mean, the way I talk? What? Hilarious how? What’s hilarious about it? Hilarious how? Let me understand this, because, ya’ know, maybe it’s me, but I’m hilarious how? Hilarious like a clown? I amuse him? I make him laugh? I’m here to amuse him? Hilarious how? How am I hilarious? What’s so hilarious about me? What’s hilarious?

* * * * *

Actually, what’s hilarious is the Cabin Boy’s™ poor reading comprehension. I haven’t written anything here at Hogewash! about his being fired from his most recent job, but I will now note that he no longer seems be working an afternoon announcing gig at KMCN. OTOH, the Cabin Boy™ has plenty of experience never being impeded by not knowing what he’s talking about.

Failing failures gotta fail.

* * * * *

That post parodied a scene from Goodfellas, a movie containing a putdown line that Schmalfeldt often used. Given the number of jobs that have slipped through the Cabin Boy’s™ fingers over the past three years, something like a shoe shine box might be a reasonable investment for him as a way to pickup a bit of cash.

For the moment, he’s employed again. There are still some dates left on the calendar in the break area.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The members of Team Kimberlin lie so much that I created as special topic—Prevarication Du Jour—to handle reporting on some of their sillier claims. This PDJ ran four years ago today.

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I’ve lost track of the number of barefaced lies the Cabin Boy™ has been caught telling.Cheddar201602070313ZHere’s how he describes the exhibit containing the email he’s referring to in his original Complaint for LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—ECF 1 Ex12—and here’s the address block from the email as shown in both Exhibit 12 of the Complaint and Exhibit 4 of the Proposed Amended Complaint.ECF 1 EX12-EmailAs I’ve said before, Bill Schmalfeldt is a liar and not a very good one.

* * * * *

Schmalfeldt’s attempts at spinning false narrative in his court filings are a shoddy at his other attempt at fiction which has posted online or self-published in print.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the basic false premises of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits has been that it is defamatory to tell the truth about them. The implied threat of legal consequences dealt with in this post, Hit a Nerve, Have We?, from three years ago today never materialized, but the post shows how a member of Team Kimberlin (Bill Schmalfeldt in this case) can easily be triggered by the facts.

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I found this in my inbox this morning. The timestamp is in GMT. The Cabin Boy™ sent this within 5 minutes of logging in just after midnight ET.bs-email-201612260529zIt’s apparent that the Cabin Boy™ appears to be unaware of the meaning of apparent.

apparent | ə-ˈper-ənt | adj.: based on evidence that may or may not be factually valid.

The Gentle Reader may read the email exchange of the negotiations in question, consider the Cabin Boy’s™ subsequent filing of bar complaints, and decide for himself whether it appears the Cabin Boy™ negotiated in good faith.

Meanwhile, I stand by my post.

UPDATE—Moar mail from the Cabin Boy™—bs-email-201622261620z

I stand by my post.

* * * * *

And Schmalfeldt didn’t do anything.

Eventually, the Cabin Boy™ would sue me one more time, and of course, lost that case (LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact) as he did all the others.

Facts are stubborn things.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The never-ending parade of silly mistakes made by The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt in their various LOLsuits have yielded a gold mine of pointage, laughery, and mockification. Here are some bits from the TKPOTD, a Legal LULZ Du Jour, and a Bonus Legal LULZ Du Jour from four years ago today.

* * * * *

I’ve been rereading some of The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s recent filings in the five active lawsuits in which he is a party. (BTW, four are LOLsuits he’s filed against me.) His writing is becoming … how to put this? … wilder and more full of stupid errors and omissions. I just finished reviewing something from one of the state cases, and its fatal error is both obvious and quite stunning. I won’t write about that mistake here because it’s the judge’s job to educate the midget on this one.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ has a DOOM CLOCK running over at his Derp Brain Radio website (No, I won’t link to it.) that shows 32 days remaining for the return of waiver of service forms he says he’s sent to the defendants in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

Fed. R. Civ. P. 4(d)(3) says—

A defendant who, before being served with process, timely returns a waiver need not serve an answer to the complaint until 60 days after the request was sent[.]

Even if the waiver request forms had been sent the day the LOLsuit was filed, there would still be 54 days remaining for the defendants to respond. But I suppose following the Rules is hypertechnical. And math is hard.

UPDATE—Or perhaps it means that the Cabin Boy™ is exercising his option to allow at least 30 days but less than 60 days for the return of the waiver forms. Whatever. Setting the minimum time for return of the waiver forms won’t change when any answers or dispositive motions are due.

popcorn4bkUPDATE 2—The Cabin Boy™ has a post up “correcting” this one. I checked his “correction” with a lawyer, and I’ll wait for Schmalfeldt to find out the hard way how wrong he is.

Oh, and I see from his post that he’s still too afraid to include me in his LOLsuit.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ has yet another post up over at his Derp Brain Radio website (No, I won’t link to it.) in which he demonstrates his poor reading comprehension and his poor knowledge of the legal resources I have at hand. Given his track record, it’s possible that he has come up with a novel way to screw up service of process. We shall see.

popcorn4bkAs I noted earlier today, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s fear of having to face me in court will keep me out of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, at least for the nonce, and I expect that the amended complaint [redacted]. All this means is that he’s surrendered his chance to control the actual venue after [redacted]. Meanwhile, I get to sit on the sidelines and point and laugh.

Heh.

* * * * *

Tomorrow is Christmas Day, and this feature will take the day off.

So head out to the store to finish your shopping (or pickup more popcorn), enjoy the holiday, and …

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

Yes, Merry Christmas, everyone!

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

I began writing about Brett Kimberlin’s attempts to use lawfare to suppress the First Amendment rights of his critics to report truthfully on him and his activities in May, 2012. Since then, I’ve been the subject of numerous legal attacks by him and his enablers and supporters, but I’ve not been alone. I’ve had over 40 codefendants in civil suits from Kimberlin and more than a dozen codefendants in suits filed by his PR flack Bill Schmalfeldt.

One common feature of all the pro se lawsuits filed by Team Kimberlin, whether I was a defendant or not, was the incompetent manner in which the plaintiffs conducted them. After the dismissal of Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, he filed a bar complaint against Aaron Walker, the lawyer who successfully represented the defendants. While mind-bogglingly stupid, that move was not unexpected, as I reported three years ago in an I’m Not Making This Up, You Know post.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ has filed a pair of frivolous bar complaints against Aaron Walker.

I suppose this is what he thought would be Hell raining down.

BTW, I read over the settlement the Cabin Boy™ was offered. I doubt that he will ever see such a generous one ever again.

UPDATE—MU201607051859Zgas_stove_burner_s1As a matter of fact, the bar complaints were foreseen. It’s a common tactic employed by Team Kimberlin.

That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire …

* * * * *

Whether against Justice Clarence Thomas or Aaron Walker or whomever, none of Team Kimberlin’s bar complaints have been found to have any merit.

Or to put it another way—everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt may be plus-sized overall, but he has acts as if he has incredibly thin skin. He became so bent out of shape over truthful reporting about and criticism of his conduct of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler that he decided to complain to the magistrate judge handling the case about me. Three years ago today, I responded to his threats with this Legal LULZ Du Jour.

* * * * *

RD201603191531ZGo ahead. Make my day.

* * * * *

He went ahead and filed his paperwork which I published after it appeared on PACER three days later.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ really did file these with the court—

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

* * * * *

So where are we three years later?

Aaron Walker was able  to manage his clients’ defense. He won the case for them.

The Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuit VI. And LOLsuit VII. And LOLsuit VIII. At this point, he’s failed to convince judges in Maryland, Wisconsin, Illinois, and South Carolina that he has been the victim of defamation, invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress, or mopery with intent to lurk.

OTOH, judges in Maryland, Arizona, Massachusetts, Illinois, and North Carolina have found that Schmalfeldt engaged in behaviors warranting the issuance of various forms of restrain orders, one of which was to protect a three year old child.

The Cabin Boy™ has been fired or left under suspicious circumstance from multiple jobs.

I’m still working part time as a paralegal and full time as engineering contractor.

Nothing has proceeded as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Today is the fourth anniversary of The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s filing the Kimberlin v. Hunton & Williams, et al. RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. Three years ago, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler was in the motions to dismiss phase. Here’s another twofer from three years ago today, the TKPOTD and a Legal LULZ Du Jour.

* * * * *

It’s easy to make fun of the Cabin Boy™ when he writes the punchlines of the jokes.RD201603152007ZThe veracity of his briefs?

How veracious is his claim the Brett Kimberlin isn’t a convicted terrorist? Brett Kimberlin engaged a serial bombing campaign that terrorized the town of Speedway, Indiana. He sued Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, and me for a million dollars, claiming that we engaged in false light invasion of privacy by calling him a terrorist. He lost that lawsuit.

How veracious is his claim that Brett Kimberlin isn’t responsible for the death of Carl DeLong? An Indiana trial jury found him responsible, and the Indiana Supreme Court upheld their verdict.

How veracious is his claim that Aaron Walker is currently a defendant in yet another Kimberlin LOLsuit? Aaron was dismissed from the RICO Retread LOLsuit on a mix of motions for dismissal for failure to state a claim and for summary judgment back in January.

How veracious is … oh, you get the point. Bill Schmalfeldt is a liar.

One does not simply lie in a declaration to the court and expect not to get burned.

One more thing … Bill Schmalfeldt is an adjudicated harasser and an adjudicated cyberstalker of a minor child. While I take no pleasure in writing that statement, I have a certain appreciation for its irony. You see, Gentle Reader, Bill Schmalfeldt was among the cyberthugs who were engaging in online defamation of me just about this time last year, claiming that I had engaged in online harassment of a teenage girl. Their story was false, and both the civil and criminal actions filed against me fizzled. OTOH, the Cabin Boy™ now has collected a total of nine restraining/peace/no-contact orders issued by courts in five states, and one of them protects a three-year old kid.

* * * * *

RD201603160135Z

IIRC, it was the Cabin Boy™ who used a declaration from Brett Kimberlin as an exhibit supporting a motion.

One does not simply lie in a declaration to the court and expect not to get burned.

* * * * *

The Truth is out there, but the Cabin Boy™ has no idea where.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the common failings among most of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits has been suing for things that aren’t actual causes of action for civil cases. For example, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin sued my codefendants and me for harassment and stalking in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and the court threw those counts out because they’re not things one can bring a suit over in Maryland. The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has similar issues with many of his cases. The TKPOTD from three year ago today deals with one such problem with LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

* * * * *

Here’s a bit of Wisconsin case law that may affect the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—

Wisconsin does not recognize “false light invasion of privacy[.]”

Ladd v. Uecker, 2010 WI.App. 28, 789 N.W.2d 216, 218 (2010). IANAL, but it raises an interesting question.

* * * * *

The Gentle Reader should not be surprised to learn that the Cabin Boy’™ claim for false light invasion of privacy failed.

Team Kimberlin is made up of slow learners. Even by the time of LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact in 2017, three years after Kimberlin had his harassment and stalking counts dismissed from the first LOLsuit, Count I in the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit was for “Harassment and Stalking.”

Stupid is as stupid does.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

February has not been a good month for The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt. Yesterday, we celebrated the fourth anniversary of his filing of LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock. Today, it’s the third anniversary of his filing the first amended complaint in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. I posted his amended complaint in this INMTUYK.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ actually filed this—

Portions of the exhibits have been redacted because they contain material that is unsuitable for this blog.

* * * * *

The exhibits he attached put the transcripts of his skits that some consider to be kiddie porn in the court record. That placed the texts in the public domain. It also authenticated his authorship of them.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The TKPOTD a few days ago dealt with Bill Schmalfedt’s sticking his nose into to something that wasn’t any of his business. He has a history of doing that quite a lot. This post from three years ago today titled It’s Billogical! details another example of his unwelcome intrusion into the lives of others.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy’s™ wild goose du jour has to do with his finding a prayer request for a woman he believes is Patrick Grady’s wife in a bulletin from a church in the same town where the Gradys live. He offers no evidence that the Gradys are members or otherwise associated with that church or that the woman in question is actually Patrick Grady’s wife. They may be, and she may be, but he offers no evidence.

But that’s not the real Billogical leap.

The Cabin Boy™ has latched onto the fantasy that the prayer request proves that the post published by Paul Krendler about his daughter being in an accident is somehow about Mrs. Grady instead. Because of all this, he imagines that Patrick Grady has some explaining to do. (Apparently, Grady is Paul Krendler again.) This is another example of Schmalfeldt’s inability to keep timestamps straight.

Krendler’s post about his daughter was put up on 28 May, 2015, and the church bulletin is for May, 2015. The Cabin Boy™ has thus jumped to the conclusion that these dates prove … something! Of course, what it proves is that Schmalfeldt has no idea of the meaning of due diligence. If he had examined the bulletin’s metadata, he would have seen that it was published at the end of April—just like most other publications that laid out a schedule of events for a coming month of May. Moreover, if he had looked at the next item down the page from the prayer request he would have seen this—NatDayPrayer

If the bulletin was published in a time frame where “May 7th” was “next Thursday,” then it probably was issued before that date. All the Cabin Boy™ had to do was read the entire page where he found that prayer request, and he would have known that his “evidence” didn’t fit his Billogical preconceptions.

Bill Schmalfeldt has yet again invaded the privacy of the Grady family (and perhaps a second family and their church as well). I’ve met Patrick Grady. He strikes me as a thoughtful and patient fellow, but if I were in his shoes, my patience would be exhausted, and I would be seeking to have the existing stalking no contact order enforced.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ included Patrick Grady among the defendants in his most recent losing LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Neither The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt nor The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin have been able top establish the identity of Paul Krendler. The Cabin Boy™ claimed that Patrick Grady am Paul Krendler in LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland, and that case was dismissed with prejudice. Schmalfeldt’s excellent friend claimed that I am Paul Krendler in his RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. That suit was dismissed with prejudice.

By 2016, TDPK had lost enough LOLsuits to figure out that res judicata prevented him from recycling his specious claims against me, and he dropped me from the state RICO 2 Retread LOLsuit. However, The Cabin Boy™ is a slower learner. He sued Patrick Grady alleging that he’s Paul Krendler three more times. He hasn’t done a fourth time. Yet. We’ve yet to see if he’s really learned his lesson.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

I have to admit that I’ve found the pointage, laughery, and mockification assosciated with The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits that did not include me as a defendant as wonderful sources of amusement. Today is the third anniversary of the beginning of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

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The Cabin Boy™ has announced the filing of his next LOLsuit. He says that he’s mailed it to the U. S. District Court in Milwaukee and that the named defendants are Patrick Grady of Palatine, IL, Eric P. Johnson of Paris, TN, Sarah “Rose” Palmer of Reidsville, NC, Dianna Deeley of San Francisco, CA, The William G. Irwin Charitable Foundation of San Francisco, CA, and Nancy Gilly of Groton, CT. He says they engaged in State Law Torts, Unlawful Use of Computerized Communications Equipment, Harassment, Invasion of Privacy/Right to Publicity, Stalking, Defamation Per Se, and Mopery with Intent to Lurk Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.

orvilleredenbacherHe has also said that he will seek John Doe subpoenas to try to identify the following individuals to be added to his LOLsuit: Techno Jinx, MJ, Roy Schmalfeldt, Vigilans Vindex, Pablo, Neal N. Bob, This Other Latin F*cker, Perry Mason, Howard Earl, A.B., Tao, Jane, Grace, Dr_Mile [sic], Katie Scarlett, Rob Crawford, The 13th Diuke [sic] of Wymborne, Kobayashi Maru, AJ Fornicarious Hoc, JeffM, Gus Bailey, and Colonol [sic] Victor Trollpoker.

Click on the image above to buy more popcorn from Amazon.

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The bulk of LOLsuit VI collapsed fairly early on, and the case that lingered against a couple of the defendants was thoroughly defeated at the hands of a lawyer who the Cabin Boy™ had tried to deride as incompetent.

Nothing proceeded as the Cabin Boy™ had hallucinated.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the sillier aspects of Team Kimberlin’s attempts to use the courts for their campaign of brass knuckles reputation management has been their use of pro se LOLsuits. It’s been a pain in the neck (or a couple of feet lower) to be on the receiving end of some of them, but I’ve won every one that The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt have filed against me. Indeed, they haven’t won any of the cases they’ve filed since the beginning of 2012. One example of their pro se incompetence was pointed out in this Legal LULZ Du Jour from three years ago today.

Let me set the stage. During the closing days of 2105, the Cabin Boy™ was tooling up for what became LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, and he was ranting on the Internet about the direst of dire direness the he imagined lay ahead for his adversaries.

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The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is threatening Paul Krendler with a Brodie motion.TheMerryWidower201511282145Z

Apparently, the Cabin Boy™ is planning on bring suit in Maryland, the only state where so-called Brodie Motions are filed. A Brodie Motion asks a court for a John Doe subpoena to an ISP seeking a user’s identity pursuant to the case law in Independent Newspapers, Inc. v. Brodie, 407 Md. 415 (2009).

IANAL, but I’m unaware of any similar case law applicable in the Eastern District of Wisconsin or the Seventh Circuit.

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The Cabin Boy’s™ ignorance is of a special form. His problem isn’t that he doesn’t know much. It’s that so much of what he knows is wrong.

BTW, LOLsuit VI was aptly named. The Cabin Boy™ wasn’t able to use it to identify the anonymous blogger Paul Krendler. LOLsuits VII and VIII also failed.

Losing losers gotta lose.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

On the one hand, it can be a pain in the neck ( or a couple of feet lower) to be the target of one of Bill Schmalfeldt’s failed LOLsuits. OTOH, those suits have been bountiful sources of  pointage, laughery, and mockification as this post from two years ago about A Bad Day in St. Francis shows.

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Judge Joseph has issued an order dealing with all of the open motions in the LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler except for the defendants’ motion to dismiss.

“… nonsensical, not to mention impractical.” Yep, that’s about the size of it.

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When a judge starts referring to a litigant’s filings as “nonsensical, not to mention impractical,” you’d think that litigant might begin to wonder whether the court considers him to be credible and consider withdrawing his case. But LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler was filed by The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt, so months of further PLM ensued.

And some of us did well with our popcorn futures.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

There’s an old lawyer’s saying that when the facts are against you, stress the law; when the law is against you, stress the facts; and when the facts and the law are both against you, yell and pound the table. When yelling and pounding fail, Team Kimberlin provides us with Legal LULZ.

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SRUs201604151839ZIs either The Worst Attorney Teabagger® or TWAT® a registered trademark? If so, does either one belong to the Cabin Boy™?

17 U.S.C. § 1326 PENALTY FOR FALSE MARKING
(a) In General.—Whoever, for the purpose of deceiving the public, marks upon, applies to, or uses in advertising in connection with an article made, used, distributed, or sold, a design which is not protected under this chapter, a design notice specified in section 1306, or any other words or symbols importing that the design is protected under this chapter, knowing that the design is not so protected, shall pay a civil fine of not more than $500 for each such offense.

(b) Suit by Private Persons.—Any person may sue for the penalty established by subsection (a), in which event one-half of the penalty shall be awarded to the person suing and the remainder shall be awarded to the United States.

There’s a big difference in the meaning of ® compared to ™.

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Every time Team Kimberlin has filed a motion for sanctions against a defendant or defendants counsel, the motion has failed. Their motions to sanction third parties have failed. But there’s no surprise there. After all, each of their LOLsuits have been the equivalent of a knife at a gunfight.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Two years ago, LOLsuit VI The Undiscovered Krendler was alive, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has just filed a motion to disqualify Aaron Walker as counsel for the two remaining named defendants in the case. That motion included this sworn statement:

The Gentle Reader who has not been following The Saga of Team Kimberlin since 2016 should not be surprised to learn that the defendants filed an opposition to the Cabin Boy’s™ motion, and that Schmalfeldt reacted stupidly on Twitter. Hogewash! reported his folly under the headline I’m Not Making This Up, You Know.

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Given that every single paragraph of the declaration by Brett Kimberlin filed as an exhibit with the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to disqualify Aaron Walker as defense counsel in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler contains at least one provable lie, …Cheddar201603090233Z… the lack of self-awareness is … well, it’s about average for the Cabin Boy™.

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As usual, the Cabin Boy’s™ motion failed, and his case failed to survive a motion to dismiss.

Lying liars gotta lie, stupid is as stupid does, and everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Since Brett Kimberlin unwisely took on Aaron Walker in 2012, every Team Kimberlin LOLsuit has ended in failure. Only one LOLsuit made it to trial after having most of its claims thrown out on summary judgment, and the trail was stopped before we defendants put on our case because The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin failed to offer any evidence to support his claims that we had defamed him or invaded his privacy. All TDPK’s peace order petitions similarly failed. None of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits have survived motions to dismiss. The peace order petition he filed against Patrick Grady failed because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt failed to face Mr. Grady in court.

One common feature of most of these LOLsuits has been making claims that aren’t supported by a lawful cause of action. I wrote about that in the TKPOTD from two years ago today.

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A recurring theme in many of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits is the inclusion of claims for nonexistent torts. For example, two of the claims in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit were thrown out at summary judgment because they weren’t based on any recognized cause of action. In that case, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to my codefendants and me for stalking and harassment, but while they are crimes, they are not torts. In the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, he’s trying to sue for conspiracy, and, as Judge Mason told him, that’s not a stand-alone tort either.

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has followed in his excellent friend’s footsteps. When he filed LOLsuit I: The Emotional Picture, he included a claim for harassment. In LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion, the Cabin Boy™ tried to sue for both harassment and conspiracy. In LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, … well, we’ll see.

Stay tuned.

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The Cabin Boy™ included claims in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact for which there were no causes of action and wound up having to withdraw them in his amended complaint, and that amend complaint was dismissed because, just like LOLsuits III, IV, and VI, he sued in courts not having personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

And butthurt is still not a tort.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

A couple of years ago, our LULZ muscles were still in the throws of LOLsuit  VI: The Undiscovered Krendler when the Cabin Boy™ submitted an obviously altered document as an exhibit to a filing in that case. I pointed to his screw up in a Legal LULZ Du Jour posted two years ago today.

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This is from an exhibit submitted by the Cabin Boy™ as evidence with both his Complaint and Proposed Amended Complaint in his LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.Hoge or Johnson

It appears to be altered.

IANAL, but I’ve been told that it’s a bad idea to proffer an altered document to a court of law.

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Schmalfeldt’s reaction to that post resulted in a massive dose of PLM when I suggested that it was time for him to Put Up or Shut Up about his “evidence.”

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Back in November, I received an email from the Cabin Boy™ that included the an image and text from email that he claimed had be sent to the property management company that manages the apartment build where he lives. I posted that email and a second one from him here.

The Cabin Boy™ quotes the first of those two email texts he sent to me in Exhibit 4 of his Proposed Amended Complaint in the LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. As the Gentle Reader can see, the original version of the exhibit alleged that I sent the email to the property management company, but The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has altered the document to accuse Eric Johnson.

That raises the question of what evidence he has that either one of us sent the email. In the unlikely event that his LOLsuit survives the motions to dismiss, the Cabin Boy™ will undoubtedly have to produce any evidence he has about who sent that email as a part of discovery, and it will surely come out in the open either as part of a motion for summary judgment or at trial. (Stop laughing.) Therefore, if Schmalfeldt has any confidence in his case, he should go ahead and post the email with all its headers.

Of course, it could be that the Cabin Boy™ is simply lying again, and given his track record, that’s not an unreasonable assumption. Come to think of it, that’s probably the only reasonable assumption, and I believe I will adopt it as my publicly stated belief. Of course, if Schmalfeldt were to post proof … but how likely is that?

UPDATE—Cheddar201602070309Z

(c) Whoever corruptly—
(1) alters, destroys, mutilates, or conceals a record, document, or other object, or attempts to do so, with the intent to impair the object’s integrity or availability for use in an official proceeding; or
(2) otherwise obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding, or attempts to do so,
shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.

—18 U.S.C. 1512

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I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.