Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


I believe that I’m mentioned before that the members of Team Kimberlin are liars. The odd thing about their lying is their massive incompetence at it. You’d think that anyone with as much practice would eventually learn how to tell a decent whooper. Their lies about their LOLsuits and the in the court papers they filed resulted in an ongoing set of posts titled Prevarication Du Jour. This one ran four years ago today.

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Ahem.RD201603261501ZSo the Cabin Boy™ believes that my characterization of Judge Joseph’s order constitutes a lie. Well, I suppose he’s entitled to that belief. However, he’s mistaken.

The Gentle Reader should note that I did not present the underlined words as a direct quote from the judge, but as a summary. She ordered the parties—both plaintiff and defendants—to stop filing paperwork until she could rule on the pending motion to dismiss. That would include things such as the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to disqualify counsel and the defendants’ opposition. It would include stuff such as the paperwork the Cabin Boy™ filed last Monday and any defense responses that would be necessary. Thus, I believe that an impartial observer would find that my words are, in fact, a reasonable summary of the judge’s order.

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You’d think that someone alleged to have GS-13 editorial skills would have better reading comprehension.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


After Bill Schmalfeldt fled Maryland after losing LOLsuits III, IV, and V in rapid succession, he spent a bit more than a year in Milwaukee where he lost LOLsuits VI. He then moved on to his hometown of Clinton, Iowa, where he was briefly employed as a disk jockey at a local FM station. That gig didn’t last long, and his failure to keep the job was the subject of some pointage, laughery, and mockification in the comments here at Hogewash!, and that, of course, prompted an outburst from the Cabin Boy™ which was chronicled in a post titled Hilarious? Hilarious How? which ran three years ago today.

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What does he mean I’m hilarious? What does he mean, the way I talk? What? Hilarious how? What’s hilarious about it? Hilarious how? Let me understand this, because, ya’ know, maybe it’s me, but I’m hilarious how? Hilarious like a clown? I amuse him? I make him laugh? I’m here to amuse him? Hilarious how? How am I hilarious? What’s so hilarious about me? What’s hilarious?

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Actually, what’s hilarious is the Cabin Boy’s™ poor reading comprehension. I haven’t written anything here at Hogewash! about his being fired from his most recent job, but I will now note that he no longer seems be working an afternoon announcing gig at KMCN. OTOH, the Cabin Boy™ has plenty of experience never being impeded by not knowing what he’s talking about.

Failing failures gotta fail.

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That post parodied a scene from Goodfellas, a movie containing a putdown line that Schmalfeldt often used. Given the number of jobs that have slipped through the Cabin Boy’s™ fingers over the past three years, something like a shoe shine box might be a reasonable investment for him as a way to pickup a bit of cash.

For the moment, he’s employed again. There are still some dates left on the calendar in the break area.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The members of Team Kimberlin lie so much that I created as special topic—Prevarication Du Jour—to handle reporting on some of their sillier claims. This PDJ ran four years ago today.

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I’ve lost track of the number of barefaced lies the Cabin Boy™ has been caught telling.Cheddar201602070313ZHere’s how he describes the exhibit containing the email he’s referring to in his original Complaint for LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler—ECF 1 Ex12—and here’s the address block from the email as shown in both Exhibit 12 of the Complaint and Exhibit 4 of the Proposed Amended Complaint.ECF 1 EX12-EmailAs I’ve said before, Bill Schmalfeldt is a liar and not a very good one.

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Schmalfeldt’s attempts at spinning false narrative in his court filings are a shoddy at his other attempt at fiction which has posted online or self-published in print.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One of the basic false premises of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits has been that it is defamatory to tell the truth about them. The implied threat of legal consequences dealt with in this post, Hit a Nerve, Have We?, from three years ago today never materialized, but the post shows how a member of Team Kimberlin (Bill Schmalfeldt in this case) can easily be triggered by the facts.

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I found this in my inbox this morning. The timestamp is in GMT. The Cabin Boy™ sent this within 5 minutes of logging in just after midnight ET.bs-email-201612260529zIt’s apparent that the Cabin Boy™ appears to be unaware of the meaning of apparent.

apparent | ə-ˈper-ənt | adj.: based on evidence that may or may not be factually valid.

The Gentle Reader may read the email exchange of the negotiations in question, consider the Cabin Boy’s™ subsequent filing of bar complaints, and decide for himself whether it appears the Cabin Boy™ negotiated in good faith.

Meanwhile, I stand by my post.

UPDATE—Moar mail from the Cabin Boy™—bs-email-201622261620z

I stand by my post.

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And Schmalfeldt didn’t do anything.

Eventually, the Cabin Boy™ would sue me one more time, and of course, lost that case (LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact) as he did all the others.

Facts are stubborn things.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The never-ending parade of silly mistakes made by The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt in their various LOLsuits have yielded a gold mine of pointage, laughery, and mockification. Here are some bits from the TKPOTD, a Legal LULZ Du Jour, and a Bonus Legal LULZ Du Jour from four years ago today.

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I’ve been rereading some of The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s recent filings in the five active lawsuits in which he is a party. (BTW, four are LOLsuits he’s filed against me.) His writing is becoming … how to put this? … wilder and more full of stupid errors and omissions. I just finished reviewing something from one of the state cases, and its fatal error is both obvious and quite stunning. I won’t write about that mistake here because it’s the judge’s job to educate the midget on this one.

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The Cabin Boy™ has a DOOM CLOCK running over at his Derp Brain Radio website (No, I won’t link to it.) that shows 32 days remaining for the return of waiver of service forms he says he’s sent to the defendants in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

Fed. R. Civ. P. 4(d)(3) says—

A defendant who, before being served with process, timely returns a waiver need not serve an answer to the complaint until 60 days after the request was sent[.]

Even if the waiver request forms had been sent the day the LOLsuit was filed, there would still be 54 days remaining for the defendants to respond. But I suppose following the Rules is hypertechnical. And math is hard.

UPDATE—Or perhaps it means that the Cabin Boy™ is exercising his option to allow at least 30 days but less than 60 days for the return of the waiver forms. Whatever. Setting the minimum time for return of the waiver forms won’t change when any answers or dispositive motions are due.

popcorn4bkUPDATE 2—The Cabin Boy™ has a post up “correcting” this one. I checked his “correction” with a lawyer, and I’ll wait for Schmalfeldt to find out the hard way how wrong he is.

Oh, and I see from his post that he’s still too afraid to include me in his LOLsuit.

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The Cabin Boy™ has yet another post up over at his Derp Brain Radio website (No, I won’t link to it.) in which he demonstrates his poor reading comprehension and his poor knowledge of the legal resources I have at hand. Given his track record, it’s possible that he has come up with a novel way to screw up service of process. We shall see.

popcorn4bkAs I noted earlier today, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s fear of having to face me in court will keep me out of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, at least for the nonce, and I expect that the amended complaint [redacted]. All this means is that he’s surrendered his chance to control the actual venue after [redacted]. Meanwhile, I get to sit on the sidelines and point and laugh.

Heh.

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Tomorrow is Christmas Day, and this feature will take the day off.

So head out to the store to finish your shopping (or pickup more popcorn), enjoy the holiday, and …

Stay tuned.

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Yes, Merry Christmas, everyone!

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


I began writing about Brett Kimberlin’s attempts to use lawfare to suppress the First Amendment rights of his critics to report truthfully on him and his activities in May, 2012. Since then, I’ve been the subject of numerous legal attacks by him and his enablers and supporters, but I’ve not been alone. I’ve had over 40 codefendants in civil suits from Kimberlin and more than a dozen codefendants in suits filed by his PR flack Bill Schmalfeldt.

One common feature of all the pro se lawsuits filed by Team Kimberlin, whether I was a defendant or not, was the incompetent manner in which the plaintiffs conducted them. After the dismissal of Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, he filed a bar complaint against Aaron Walker, the lawyer who successfully represented the defendants. While mind-bogglingly stupid, that move was not unexpected, as I reported three years ago in an I’m Not Making This Up, You Know post.

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The Cabin Boy™ has filed a pair of frivolous bar complaints against Aaron Walker.

I suppose this is what he thought would be Hell raining down.

BTW, I read over the settlement the Cabin Boy™ was offered. I doubt that he will ever see such a generous one ever again.

UPDATE—MU201607051859Zgas_stove_burner_s1As a matter of fact, the bar complaints were foreseen. It’s a common tactic employed by Team Kimberlin.

That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire …

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Whether against Justice Clarence Thomas or Aaron Walker or whomever, none of Team Kimberlin’s bar complaints have been found to have any merit.

Or to put it another way—everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt may be plus-sized overall, but he has acts as if he has incredibly thin skin. He became so bent out of shape over truthful reporting about and criticism of his conduct of LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler that he decided to complain to the magistrate judge handling the case about me. Three years ago today, I responded to his threats with this Legal LULZ Du Jour.

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RD201603191531ZGo ahead. Make my day.

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He went ahead and filed his paperwork which I published after it appeared on PACER three days later.

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The Cabin Boy™ really did file these with the court—

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

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So where are we three years later?

Aaron Walker was able  to manage his clients’ defense. He won the case for them.

The Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuit VI. And LOLsuit VII. And LOLsuit VIII. At this point, he’s failed to convince judges in Maryland, Wisconsin, Illinois, and South Carolina that he has been the victim of defamation, invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress, or mopery with intent to lurk.

OTOH, judges in Maryland, Arizona, Massachusetts, Illinois, and North Carolina have found that Schmalfeldt engaged in behaviors warranting the issuance of various forms of restrain orders, one of which was to protect a three year old child.

The Cabin Boy™ has been fired or left under suspicious circumstance from multiple jobs.

I’m still working part time as a paralegal and full time as engineering contractor.

Nothing has proceeded as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.