Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


After Bill Schmalfeldt fled Maryland after losing LOLsuits III, IV, and V in rapid succession, he spent a bit more than a year in Milwaukee where he lost LOLsuits VI. He then moved on to his hometown of Clinton, Iowa, where he was briefly employed as a disk jockey at a local FM station. That gig didn’t last long, and his failure to keep the job was the subject of some pointage, laughery, and mockification in the comments here at Hogewash!, and that, of course, prompted an outburst from the Cabin Boy™ which was chronicled in a post titled Hilarious? Hilarious How? which ran three years ago today.

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What does he mean I’m hilarious? What does he mean, the way I talk? What? Hilarious how? What’s hilarious about it? Hilarious how? Let me understand this, because, ya’ know, maybe it’s me, but I’m hilarious how? Hilarious like a clown? I amuse him? I make him laugh? I’m here to amuse him? Hilarious how? How am I hilarious? What’s so hilarious about me? What’s hilarious?

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Actually, what’s hilarious is the Cabin Boy’s™ poor reading comprehension. I haven’t written anything here at Hogewash! about his being fired from his most recent job, but I will now note that he no longer seems be working an afternoon announcing gig at KMCN. OTOH, the Cabin Boy™ has plenty of experience never being impeded by not knowing what he’s talking about.

Failing failures gotta fail.

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That post parodied a scene from Goodfellas, a movie containing a putdown line that Schmalfeldt often used. Given the number of jobs that have slipped through the Cabin Boy’s™ fingers over the past three years, something like a shoe shine box might be a reasonable investment for him as a way to pickup a bit of cash.

For the moment, he’s employed again. There are still some dates left on the calendar in the break area.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin’s campaigns attempting to punish its perceived enemies through lawfare and online harassment have all featured two characteristics. One, they have been based on false narratives. During the course of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt not only lied in his complaint, he lied in his own motion to dismiss his LOLsuit. Two years ago, the court acted to amend its order dismissing the case, and this post titled Another Lie Noted ran two years ago today.

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Judge Bennett has taken note of one of the Cabin Boy’s™ falsehoods and corrected the record for LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland.

UPDATE—We will undoubtedly be seeing something on teh Twitterz (or not seeing something on some unread blog) about the Cabin Boy™ frothing at the keyboard concerning the unfairness of my characterization of the wording of the proposed order he submitted with his motion to dismiss.

When he filed his motion, no one had answered his complaint. However, before the dismissal was granted, Scott Hinckley had filed an answer. That rendered the extraneous comment about no answer being filed false, and the Cabin Boy™ did not withdraw it. Nor did he ask the court to correct the error. Thus, he has misrepresented the facts through his inaction.

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As noted yesterday, the signup calendar for the current pool is posted in the break area.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The TKPOTD a few days ago dealt with Bill Schmalfedt’s sticking his nose into to something that wasn’t any of his business. He has a history of doing that quite a lot. This post from three years ago today titled It’s Billogical! details another example of his unwelcome intrusion into the lives of others.

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The Cabin Boy’s™ wild goose du jour has to do with his finding a prayer request for a woman he believes is Patrick Grady’s wife in a bulletin from a church in the same town where the Gradys live. He offers no evidence that the Gradys are members or otherwise associated with that church or that the woman in question is actually Patrick Grady’s wife. They may be, and she may be, but he offers no evidence.

But that’s not the real Billogical leap.

The Cabin Boy™ has latched onto the fantasy that the prayer request proves that the post published by Paul Krendler about his daughter being in an accident is somehow about Mrs. Grady instead. Because of all this, he imagines that Patrick Grady has some explaining to do. (Apparently, Grady is Paul Krendler again.) This is another example of Schmalfeldt’s inability to keep timestamps straight.

Krendler’s post about his daughter was put up on 28 May, 2015, and the church bulletin is for May, 2015. The Cabin Boy™ has thus jumped to the conclusion that these dates prove … something! Of course, what it proves is that Schmalfeldt has no idea of the meaning of due diligence. If he had examined the bulletin’s metadata, he would have seen that it was published at the end of April—just like most other publications that laid out a schedule of events for a coming month of May. Moreover, if he had looked at the next item down the page from the prayer request he would have seen this—NatDayPrayer

If the bulletin was published in a time frame where “May 7th” was “next Thursday,” then it probably was issued before that date. All the Cabin Boy™ had to do was read the entire page where he found that prayer request, and he would have known that his “evidence” didn’t fit his Billogical preconceptions.

Bill Schmalfeldt has yet again invaded the privacy of the Grady family (and perhaps a second family and their church as well). I’ve met Patrick Grady. He strikes me as a thoughtful and patient fellow, but if I were in his shoes, my patience would be exhausted, and I would be seeking to have the existing stalking no contact order enforced.

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The Cabin Boy™ included Patrick Grady among the defendants in his most recent losing LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact. Neither The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt nor The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin have been able top establish the identity of Paul Krendler. The Cabin Boy™ claimed that Patrick Grady am Paul Krendler in LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland, and that case was dismissed with prejudice. Schmalfeldt’s excellent friend claimed that I am Paul Krendler in his RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. That suit was dismissed with prejudice.

By 2016, TDPK had lost enough LOLsuits to figure out that res judicata prevented him from recycling his specious claims against me, and he dropped me from the state RICO 2 Retread LOLsuit. However, The Cabin Boy™ is a slower learner. He sued Patrick Grady alleging that he’s Paul Krendler three more times. He hasn’t done a fourth time. Yet. We’ve yet to see if he’s really learned his lesson.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


During the summer of 2015, Bill Schmalfeldt filed LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland. After his In Forma Pauperis petition was challenged and other irregularities came to light, he panicked and dropped his case. Three years ago today, I took note of his capitulation in this post titled The Cabin Boy™ Throws in the Towel.

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He’s filed this motion to dismiss his LOLsuit against Patrick Grady and others.

UPDATE—IANAL, so this isn’t legal advice, but <em>murum aries attigit</em>.

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In his rush to get out from under the problems he was creating for himself, the Cabin Boy™ voluntarily dismissed his LOLsuit with prejudice. Dismissal with prejudice has the effect of granting the defendants a win based on the merits of the case. In other words, the Cabin Boy™ admitted his case was baseless. That should mean, for example, that he admitted Roy Schmalfeldt did not defame him by calling him a rapist.

That’s not exactly the same thing as admitting to being a rapist. IANAL, but it also seems to me that it doesn’t provide grounds for anyone else to call the Cabin Boy™ a rapist. However, it it truthful to report exactly what happened in LOLsuit V. Anyone learning those facts is free to form his own opinion concerning them.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Since the beginning of 2012, both The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt have lost all the LOLsuits they’ve filed against any defendant that either went to trial or even hung in as long as a court’s considering motions to dismiss. It seems to me that the principle reason for their record of failure is their gross incompetence at litigation which has provided bountiful quantities of pointage, laughery, and mockification. Consider this post from three years ago about Unintentional Humor in Lawfare related to the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit V.

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The Cabin Boy™ has filed yet another one of his sterling bits of legal analysis.

I may have more to say after I quit laughing.

UPDATE—Extortion? No, Dave Edgren’s settlement negotiations are not extortion. See Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al., Case No. 13-CV-03059-GJH (D.Md. 2015) ECF No. 263 at 13, 14.

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This is was the LOLsuit that Schmalfeldt dismissed with prejudice—which I’m told means a win on the merits for the defendants, including his cousin who he was suing for defamation because the cousin had called him a rapist.

#StudidIsAsStupidDoes

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Three years ago, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt had just lost LOLsuits III and IV and was in the process of getting his butt kicked in LOLsuit V. While I had been a defendant in III and IV, I wasn’t in V. However, because the case was being tried in Maryland, I often ran courthouse errands for the defendants. It was fun watching the Cabin Boy™ getting put through the ringer of actual motions practice in a federal court. As this Prevarication Du Jour from three years ago today shows, if was even more fun seeing his failure to grasp what was hitting him.

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grouch365|201507180221ZOf course, nothing I’ve written here at Hogewash! comes remotely close to undermining Patrick Grady’s arguments concerning personal jurisdiction in the Cabin Boy’s LOLsuit.

OTOH, Bill Schmalfeldt is a laughing matter.

I don’t mean that his lawfare shouldn’t be taken seriously. It must be. What I mean is that he is not a serious person himself. He is an intellectual lightweight. He has an overinflated ego. And he is in over his head.

He is also vile and has spent much of the past decade inflicting himself on others via the Internet. XMFan, Daily Kos, Facebook, etc., have banned or suspended him. He now maintains his presence by moving from blog to blog and Twitter account to Twitter account while playing musical chairs with Internet radio feeds. And his faildoxes keep on coming.

A couple of years ago, some folks, I was among them, had had enough of the Cabin Boy™, and we began taking legal action against him. I was the first to be successful, but others have also succeeded in getting restraining orders against him. Schmalfeldt has tried various legal counterattacks, and all have failed or are failing. Schmalfeldt has further beclowned himself with his lawfare.

While Schmalfledt’s lawfare must be dealt with seriously in the courts of law, it should be subjected to ridicule in the courts of public opinion. Thus, one of my responses to his lawfare might be termed LOLfare. Somethings simply deserve to be laughed at.

UPDATE—Caution! Crackpot Theory Alert!grouch365201507181322ZAlso, the Cabin Boy™ hereby demonstrates his inability to correctly read the emotional responses of others. There is a huge difference between anger and derisive laughter.

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When the Cabin Boy™ finally understood the hole he was digging for himself, he dismissed LOLsuit V with prejudice (but without understanding what that meant) and fled Maryland. Wisconsin, Iowa, South Carolina, New Mexico, South Carolina, Iowa, South Carolina, …

And so it goes.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bullies think it’s unfair when you hit them back—which is why it’s not surprising that Bill Schmalfeldt whines and threatens the direst of dire direness whenever someone takes any step that might result in the Cabin Boy™ being held accountable for his actions. Three years ago, Schmalfeldt was in the midst of a flurry of LOLsuits. LOLsuit III had been thrown out because he sued in a court lacking jurisdiction., LOLsuit IV had been thrown out for improper venue, and LOLsuit V was just getting under way. The TKPOTD from three years ago today dealt with the Cabin Boy’s™ upset over being called a “deranged cyberstalker.”

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The Cabin Boy™ has his panties in a knot because folks refer to him as a “deranged cyberstalker.” (Stacy McCain deserves credit for first referring to Schmalfeldt that way.) Aside from the fact that expressing the opinion that Schmalfeld is a deranged cyberstalker is protected speech under the First Amendment, he is admittedly demented (deranged and demented are synonyms), and he is an adjudicated harasser. Since his harassing was done on line, that fits the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of cyberstalking. Thus, calling him a deranged cyberstalker is not only protected opinion, it is also an true statement backed by the facts.

TheDerangedCyberstalkerAdditionally, the Cabin Boy™ has promoted his identity as The Deranged Cyberstalker through the sale of a CD of his “comedy” bits. While that CD appears to be out of print, the tracks are still available for download from iTunes and Amazon. Note: Amazon’s MP3 downloads are cheaper and will play on Apple devices.

Imagine the cross examination in court …

Q: You say you were defamed and damaged by being called a “deranged cyberstalker.” Is that correct?

A: Yes.

Q: I show you the items marked as Defense Exhibits 11 and 12. They are screen shots from iTunes and Amazon, respectively. Can you identify the downloads offered for sale?

If the Cabin Boy™ is very lucky, Schmalfeldt v. Grady (, et al. ?) will be dismissed with prejudice.

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Indeed, LOLsuit V was dismissed with prejudice on a motion filed by Schmalfeldt himself. Dismissal with prejudice in a finding on the merits, so it would appear that the Cabin Boy™ admitted that his claims were bogus. Not longer after dismissing his LOLsuit, he fled the state of Maryland.

Nothing proceeded as he had hallucinated.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Ah, baseball—the summer game. The TKPOTD from three years ago today used a baseball metaphor.

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Speaking of batting a thousand at failure …

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt files his Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, et al. LOLsuit III in U. S. District Court. On my motion to dismiss it is thrown out for lack of subject matter jurisdiction, that is, the Cabin Boy™ filed suit in the wrong court. Strike One!

TDPS files his Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al. LOLsuit IV in the Circuit Court for Howard County. On my motion to dismiss it is thrown out for improper venue, that is, the Cabin Boy™ filed suit in the wrong court. Again. Strike Two!

And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered …

Stay tuned.

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And it wasn’t long after that post that the Cabin Boy™ filed LOLsuit V which he dismissed on his own. With prejudice. Strike Three!

And then he fled Maryland.

Everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Last week didn’t work out well for Team Kimberlin.

On Monday, I filed my reply to the The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s opposition to my motion to strike his improper use of confidential discovery from the Kimberlin v. Frey RICO Remnant LOLsuit in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. suit. I filed an opposition to the Kimberlins’ motion to have Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. declared to be a SLAPP suit. Also on Monday, the returns of service of process for Almighty Media and Breitbart Unmasked hit the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. docket, so those parties are now served.

On Tuesday, Judge Hazel issued an Order in the RICO Remnant LOLsuit. He denied TDPK’s request for a interlocutory appeal and basically told him to get a move on. The judge denied my request for a modification of that case’s protective order as unnecessary, but he granted my motion to seal the evidence related to my request, in effect confirming that the emails in question were confidential discovery which TDPK should not have used in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.

On Wednesday, I filed a reply to the Kimberlins opposition to my motion to strike another one of their improper filings. Also, the Kimberlins filed a reply to my opposition to their vexatious litigant motion, but the big joke of the day was TDPK’s notice the he was going to file an appeal of the dismissal of his LOLsuit against Senators McConnell and Grassley for failure to take up the current nomination to the Supreme Court.

On Thursday, Judge Hecker denied the Cabin Boy’s™ motion to dismiss in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.

On Friday, Judge Bennett’s correction of the record in LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland amending his order to strike the Cabin Boy’s™ claim that no one had answered his LOLsuit came to my attention, and I published a copy. Also, I filed a request for orders of default against Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin because they failed to file a proper answer to my complaint in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. suit within the 30 days allowed.

There are some other interesting deadlines approaching.

Stay tuned.

Legal LULZ Du Jour


My, my, but the Cabin Boy™ is forgetful.RD201603301701ZLast year, he filed LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland. In his amended complaint he alleged that Grady was Paul Krendler. See Schmalfeldt v. Grady, et al., Case No. 15-CV-1241-RDB (D.Md. July 2, 2015), ECF No. 13, ¶ 3. Subsequently, he dismissed that LOLsuit with prejudice. See ECF No. 45. The dismissal occurred on 17 August, 2015.

res_judicata_tshirtThis brings up one of my favorite bits of legal Latin—res judicata. IANAL, but I’ve been given to understand that the 17 August, 2015, dismissal with prejudice is a finding on the merits in the defendants’ favor and that the Cabin Boy™ is barred from making the same allegations again based on anything that occurred on or before that date. Thus, none of the “evidence” he thinks he has that is more that about 7-1/2-months old can be used to “prove” his theory that Grady is Krendler.

popcorn4bkMoreover, since the August dismissal, the Cabin Boy™ has publicly stated that he is Paul Krendler, and he has filed a copyright registration application claiming ownership of some of Krendler’s writings. While it’s entirely possible that Bill Schmalfeldt was lying when he said he was Krendler, … well. I just leave that thought wondering how the Copyright Office might deal with a false application.

If Bill Schmalfeldt really is stupid enough to file another LOLsuit against Grady, it will be interesting to watch him try to explain that application for copyright application to a judge and … I was going to type “and a jury,” but it would never get that far.