Tag Archives: LOLsuit I

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Posted on by
3

Ah, baseball—the summer game. The TKPOTD from three years ago today used a baseball metaphor.

* * * * *

Speaking of batting a thousand at failure …

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt files his Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, et al. LOLsuit III in U. S. District Court. On my motion to dismiss it is thrown out for lack of subject matter jurisdiction, that is, the Cabin Boy™ filed suit in the wrong court. Strike One!

TDPS files his Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al. LOLsuit IV in the Circuit Court for Howard County. On my motion to dismiss it is thrown out for improper venue, that is, the Cabin Boy™ filed suit in the wrong court. Again. Strike Two!

And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered …

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

And it wasn’t long after that post that the Cabin Boy™ filed LOLsuit V which he dismissed on his own. With prejudice. Strike Three!

And then he fled Maryland.

Everything proceeded as I had foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Posted on by
6

Ah, the Golden Oldies … the Prevarication Du Jour from four years ago today published the Cabin Boy’s™ complaint for LOLsuit 1:The Emotional Picture.

* * * * *

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ lies again.NoLawsuitHere’s the complaint that he filed. This is an active case that was posted on PACER about 3:30 pm this afternoon.

This is an incredibly flawed complaint. However, I ask that folks refrain from commenting on TDPS’s errors. Please refrain from showing him how to improve his game. To that end, comments are disabled on this post.

* * * * *

Of course, it has been an unnecessary precaution to refrain from pointing out the errors in The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits. After eight failed attempts, it’s seems that he is incapable of grasping the principles governing jurisdiction, venue, or how to properly state a claim. The Gentle Reader should feel free to robustly engage in pointage, laughery, and mockification.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Posted on by
35

Since Brett Kimberlin unwisely took on Aaron Walker in 2012, every Team Kimberlin LOLsuit has ended in failure. Only one LOLsuit made it to trial after having most of its claims thrown out on summary judgment, and the trail was stopped before we defendants put on our case because The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin failed to offer any evidence to support his claims that we had defamed him or invaded his privacy. All TDPK’s peace order petitions similarly failed. None of Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits have survived motions to dismiss. The peace order petition he filed against Patrick Grady failed because The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt failed to face Mr. Grady in court.

One common feature of most of these LOLsuits has been making claims that aren’t supported by a lawful cause of action. I wrote about that in the TKPOTD from two years ago today.

* * * * *

A recurring theme in many of the Team Kimberlin LOLsuits is the inclusion of claims for nonexistent torts. For example, two of the claims in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit were thrown out at summary judgment because they weren’t based on any recognized cause of action. In that case, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to my codefendants and me for stalking and harassment, but while they are crimes, they are not torts. In the RICO Remnant LOLsuit, he’s trying to sue for conspiracy, and, as Judge Mason told him, that’s not a stand-alone tort either.

popcorn4bkThe Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has followed in his excellent friend’s footsteps. When he filed LOLsuit I: The Emotional Picture, he included a claim for harassment. In LOLsuit IV: The Voyage to Oblivion, the Cabin Boy™ tried to sue for both harassment and conspiracy. In LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, … well, we’ll see.

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ included claims in LOLsuit VIII: Avoiding Contact for which there were no causes of action and wound up having to withdraw them in his amended complaint, and that amend complaint was dismissed because, just like LOLsuits III, IV, and VI, he sued in courts not having personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

And butthurt is still not a tort.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Posted on by
9

Even a flatworm will turn away from pain, but Team Kimberlin has been a glutton for punishment. Back in 2014, The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin lost the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit, and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt withdrew LOLsuit I after two days, saw his counterclaims that made up LOLsuit II dismissed with prejudice, and was the subject of a second peace order. After all that, they were still exchanging the Worst Advice of the Year—

* * * * *

The Dimwitted Hipster is leading the Cabin Boy™ astray.DemHip201412302152Z

Murum aries attigit.

* * * * *

2015 wasn’t a good year for Team Kimberlin either. TDPK lost the RICO Madness LOLsuit and saw his untimely appeal of that case turned away by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. He filed his RICO Retread LOLsuit in state court, and a bunch of the defendants in that case were dismissed before year’s end. He filed a bogus peace order petition against me which was denied—as was his appeal of the denial—and the false criminal charge he filed against me was dropped. He also filed the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit which spilled over into 2016.

2015 went no better for the Cabin Boy™. LOLsuit III was dismissed by the U.S. District Court for lack of jurisdiction, LOLsuit IV was dismissed by the Circuit Court of Howard County for improper venue and failure to serve most of the defendants, and LOLsuit V was voluntarily dismissed with prejudice by Schmalfeldt when he fled from Maryland to Wisconsin.

2016 saw TDPK lose his appeal of the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit, the RICO II: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit and its appeal and the Kimberlin v. McConnell LOLsuit and its appeal. His petition for a writ of mandamus to force Judge Hazel to modify the protective order in the RICO Retread LOLsuit was denied by the Fourth Circuit, and that court sanction him for including me in his frivolous appeal of RICO II. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy™ lost LOLsuits VI and VII.

As 2017 grinds to a halt, Kimberlin has lost his appeal of the RICO Retread LOLsuit in the Maryland Court of Special Appeals and has withdrawn his appeal of the RICO II Retread LOLsuit from that court. The Cabin Boy™ has just had LOLsuit VIII booted by the U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina for lack of personal jurisdiction over the defendants.

2018 is coming. Stay tuned.

Murum aries attigit.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Posted on by
52

Here’s a quick summary of the lawsuits that Team Kimberlin has filed against me—

Kimberlin v. Walker, et al., summary judgment in my favor on 5 counts and a directed verdict in my favor on 2 counts at trial, affirmed by the Court of Special Appeals.

Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (I), all federal claims dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted.

Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al., voluntarily dismissed after 2 days.

Schmalfeldt v. Johnson, et al., dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction.

Kimberlin v. Hunton & Williams LLP, et al., dismissed for lack of subject matter jurisdiction and for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted, affirmed by the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals.

Schmalfeldt v. Hoge, et al., dismissed for improper venue.

Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (II), dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted because of res judicata.

Scmalfeldt v. Grady, et al. (IV), service of process not yet effected.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Meanwhile, in Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. and Palmer v. Schmalfeldt, it’s T-minus 4 days and counting.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Posted on by
16

So the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VII: Degenerations has been voluntarily dismissed without prejudice. I’ll bet that the Cabin Boy™ thinks that means that he can still file another LOLsuit against Patrick Grady and/or Sarah Palmer alleging the same butthurt again. I’ll also bet that he would be wrong.

IANAL, but I can read a law book. When I read Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 41(a)(1)(B), I find these words concerning the effect of a voluntary dismissal:

But if the plaintiff previously dismissed any federal- or state-court action based on or including the same claim, a notice of dismissal operates as a adjudication on the merits.

IIRC, LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler targeted both Patrick Grady and Sarah Palmer with claims that overlapped with LOLsuit VII. If I’m understanding FRCP 41 correctly, my characterization of “really most sincerely dead” applies to LOLsuit VII. With an adjudication on the merits res judicata should now apply.

res_judicata_mugsActually, Patrick Grady probably could have relied on res judicata as a defense in LOLsuit VII, because he was targeted in LOLsuit V and LOLsuit VI. Other people are probably also covered to some extent: Eric Johnson (LOLsuits III, IV, and VI), Roy Schmalfeldt (LOLsuits V and VI), Paul Krendler (LOLsuits I and III), Nancy Gilly (LOLsuits I and VI), Howard Earl (LOLsuits III and IV), and me (LOLsuits I and III).

The Cabin Boy™ really is giving The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin a real contest for the title of World’s Worst Pro-Se Litigant™.

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.