Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings twice.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny! Where are you?

JOHNNY: Hi. I’m at an airport. I’ve rented a plane, and I’m just about to start the engine.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) So this isn’t a good time to talk, is it?

JOHNNY: Let me call you after I land.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny is still out working a new angle on an old case. He suggested that we present this vintage episode from 2014.
Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, It’s Aaron. We won.

JOHNNY: Congratulations! How long was the jury out?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) It didn’t go to the jury. The judge cut it off after The Bomber rested his case and gave us a directed verdict.

JOHNNY: Well, we knew that he didn’t have a case.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Yes. And he proved that for us.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign! Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


SOUND: Skype rings four times. Caller’s POV.

JOHNNY (Telephone Filter): Hi! You’ve reached Johnny Atsign’s voice mail. If I weren’t too busy, I’d answer this call, but I haven’t, so I must be tied up in some investigation. Or I’m taking a nap. Or I’m fishing. If I’m lucky, I’m fishing.

SOUND: (Telephone Filter): Beep.

PRODUCER: OK, Johnny. I guess this means you’re still out working that new investigation. Give me a call as soon as your back so we can put next week’s episode together.

SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up.

PRODUCER: I guess I’ll have to get one out of the vault.

ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Hello! What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you been following The Grouch’s Twitter feed this weekend?

JOHNNY: No, I took the weekend off again. And didn’t you ask me that question last week?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh, I did. He’s having another copyright meltdown.

JOHNNY: What now?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) It’s about the book he wrote that he said he didn’t write.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Phone rings once. Telephone handset picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

PHONE SPAM: (Telephone Filter) Hello! It’s me. I though I’d call again about that …

SOUND: Telephone receiver slammed down.

JOHNNY: They’re at it again.

SOUND: Phone rings once. Telephone handset picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

PHONE SPAM: (Telephone Filter) Hello! It’s me. I though I’d call again about that …

SOUND: Telephone receiver slammed down.

JOHNNY: This happens every time one of ‘em has a setback in court.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Programming Note


Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign won’t be presented this evening because I’m too busy driving to put together an episode. The descendants of John and Mary Hoge, my great-great-great-grandparents, have a family reunion on the fourth Sunday in May at the Ebenezer Cumberland Presbyterian Church near Jasper, Tennessee. (The land for the church was donated in the 1830s by my great-great-great-parents. This year I was the oldest Hoge in attendance.) Today, I’ve been driving back to Maryland.

Tune it next week. I’ve been assured that intriguing things are afoot.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign



ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone handset picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

LAWYER: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign, my name is Matti Sorensen. I’m calling from Fortion Energy. We are a power company in Finland.

JOHNNY: Yes?

LAWYER: (Telephone Filter) You have been recommended to me as someone to conduct an Internet investigation in the United States.

JOHNNY: That’s my line of work. Exactly what sort of investigation?

LAWYER: (Telephone Filter) We believe that someone in the U.S. is infringing our intellectual property on Twitter.

JOHNNY: Why not simply send a takedown notice?

LAWYER: (Telephone Filter) We want to know more before we act.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Restaurant background

SOUND: Cellphone rings twice.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, it’s Paul Candler. How’s it going.

JOHNNY: Well enough. Everything and everyone has been located. I finished my final checks this morning, and I’m grabbing a late breakfast at a nearby Waffle House.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Sounds good.

JOHNNY: Yeah. They serve real southern country ham.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) No, I mean it’s good that you’ve got everything located.

JOHNNY: Yeah. It will make the tracking a lot easier.

SOUND: Restaurant background out.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading