Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Perhaps the Gentle Reader who has been following Hogewash! for a few years may have noticed a certain similarity between fiction and the real world. This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran three years ago today.

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Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: (Telephone Filter) Johnny Atsign.

DD: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Mr. Atsign, my name is Dinah Daley.

JOHNNY: Yes. How can I help you?

DD: (Telephone Filter) I believe you have some experience with investigations dealing with a fellow know as The Grouch.

JOHNNY: Yes, I do. Quite a bit, actually.

DD: (Telephone Filter) I may wish to hire you to get some more, Mr. Atsign.

JOHNNY: Well, that is how I make my living, and if we’ll be working together, please call me Johnny.

DD: (Telephone Filter) OK, Johnny. Let me explain.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Yesterday’s TKPOTD engaged in a bit of review of one of The Dread Deadbeat Prevaricator Kimberlin’s false narratives about his past, one in which he claimed to have been the insightful investigator who cracked a murder case. Today, we’ll look back on an early Blogsmoke episode that dealt with an investigation into a character known as The Bomber. The episode originally ran five years ago today.

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Blogsmoke

SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3

THE GROUCH: (THROUGH A SMALL SPEAKER) It’s all (BLEEP). It’s all absolute (BLEEP). And I and my family have been put through pain and suffering because Lee Stranahan has a grudge. Because somebody, in my opinion, is paying Lee Stranahan to file these charges against me, in the hopes that I will either break or die. I got some (BLEEP) news for you, Stranny (PAUSE) Walker, Hoggy, Frey (PAUSE) and Frey (PAUSE) beware the Ides of March.

JOHN: BlogBash is an awards ceremony held by the National Blogger’s Club during the Conservative Political Action Conference each year. It’s the hot ticket party at CPAC. This year, the Ides of March fell during the Conference.

BlogBash was held at a club that was a couple of blocks from the Convention Center, and, a few days before BlogBash, the club received a phone call from one of The Grouch’s associates, a convicted serial Bomber, threatening the event with a demonstration. There were about a dozen or so of us attending the event who were aware of the threat and who were on the lookout for possible troublemakers.

SOUND: CROWED BAR BACKGROUND UP AND UNDER—SUSTAIN IN BACKGROUND

RULE 5 GIRL: John, they’re out there.

JOHN: What?

RULE 5 GIRL: There’s someone out there stalking people coming and going from the club. He’s got a camera and is taking their pictures.

JOHN: OK, I’ll check it out.

SOUND: CROWDED BAR FADES OUT

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4

JOHN: Sure enough, there was a sort of stalker. He was a goofy looking guy who we later identified as someone who worked with The Bomber. They had met in prison while The Goofball was doing time on a kiddie-porn charge.

Oh, and we found out later that The Bomber was there too. He was photographed while there.

SOUND: CROWDED BAR BACK UP—SUSTAIN IN BACKGROUND

AARON: Hey, John. Look at this on my phone.

JOHN: What the … Whose account is that?

AARON: Look, it’s the Twitter account The Bomber probably uses. He’s tweeting about BlogBash and describing things as they happen. He’s got to be someplace just outside.

JOHN: Yeah, and he’s swapping tweets with The Grouch.

SOUND: CROWDED BAR FADES OUT

ANNOUNCER: This the usual point in the program when I break in and try to sell you something, but today we want tell you about a new program beginning next Monday here on LBS. Here’s our star to tell you about it.

W. J. J.: (OUT OF CHARACTER) Yep. In addition to Blogsmoke, we’ll be producing a new feature about the Internet Investigator with the action-packed Twitter account: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

ANNOUNCER: Thanks! And remember folks, Team Lickspittle stuff is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle.

And now back to our story.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5

JOHN: There’s a website … let’s call it Goodguys Unmasked … that publishes attacks on The Bomber’s critics. Sure enough, pictures taken from street outside of BlogBash appeared on that site in short order along with snarky commentary about the event.

One of The Bomber’s weaknesses is his belief that he’s smarter that everyone else. His cleverness often trips him up. In this case, it was the pictures.

You see, pictures taken with digital cameras have data embedded in them in what are called EXIF files. Comparison of the data in the BlogBash pictures posted on Goodguys Unmasked with photos taken by The Bomber while he was stalking someone showed that they had be taken by the same type of camera and downloaded to the same Windows computer. Not a definitive tie in, but certainly suggestive.

And The Bomber and The Goofball weren’t the only people with cameras. There was a lot of pictures taken that evening. There was a lot of surveillance footage from security cameras.

MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Was The Bomber at BlogBash? It’s possible that the evidence can tell us—as we will see in the next episode of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT

ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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The Sheriff, Johnny Atsign, Sergeant Friday, and Officer Smith haven’t retired. They’re working separate angles of several related investigations. One of these days, it will make sense for some new episodes to air in order to report new findings.

Stay tuned.

It’s Cyber Monday All Week


If you shop Amazon via one of the links here at Hogewash! (like this one), you’ll pay the same low price, and Hogewash! will be paid a commission that helps support the blog. Thanks!

BTW, If you’re looking for a gift for a fisherman, Johnny Atsign suggests the Wild Water Deluxe Fly Fishing Package. It includes a 9 ft, 5/6 weight, 4 pc rod, large arbor reel, preinstalled line, backing and leader, a rod sock, a rod case, a fly box, flies, and an instruction book. Includes 2 spare leaders, 6.5” forceps, spool of clear monofilament tippet, 2 zingers and nipper/knot tying tool.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for —

SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. It’s Bob Bailey.

JOHNNY: Hi! I haven’t heard from you for a while,

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, but no one’s heard much from you for a couple of months. What’s up these days?

JOHNNY: Quite a bit, actually. But not stuff that’s cleared for broadcast yet.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. I know how that goes.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Programming Note


Based on the Gentle Readers’ responses to the poll at the end of Monday’s Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign episode, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System crew will be taking a break for most of the rest of the summer. Blogsmoke, Blognet, and YTJA should back after Labor Day, and if something special happens, there’ll be a special program.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


SOUND: Skype rings twice.

PRODUCER: LBS Production Office.

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Hi! It’ Johnny Atsign.

PRODUCER: Johnny! Where are you?

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Nairobi. I’m just back from a whirlwind tour of several African capitals and some other intriguing places.

PRODUCER: Still working on the [redacted] case?

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Uh, huh. Mostly, I’ve been following the money.

PRODUCER: Money? In Africa? Those are some of the poorest countries in the world.

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Yes and no. Most of the people are poor, but the countries are rich in terms of potential development. There’s a huge competition for control of those resources going on.

PRODUCER: But what does that have to do with your case?

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) I’m just beginning to develop a firm connection, and that’s why I called. It looks like I’ll be here for at least another week or two.

PRODUCER: So more reruns?

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Well, I guess so. Or the show could go on hiatus for a few weeks. Why not let the listeners choose?

PRODUCER: Yeah, why not? OK. We’ll handle it. Meanwhile, stay safe.

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Sure thing. See in a few weeks.

PRODUCER: Bye, Johnny.

JOHNNY: (Telephone filter) Goodbye.

ANNOUNCER: OK, folks, here’s the poll—