This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran five years ago today. It was about The Bomber and an election hoax.
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SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Mr. Atsign.
JOHNNY: Yes?
DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) I have some more information for you. Meet me at the usual place and time.
SOUND: (Called Party’s POV) Line hung up. Dial tone.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
Bill Schmalfeldt took several turns as editor of Breitbart Unmasked, but his GS-13 editorial skills were never quite up to the job. A BU post that appeared five years ago today showcased on of his common errors. The post was titled Hoge Admits His Role in Conspiracy. The post, which appears to be work-for-hire and thus owned by BU, begins—
He claims his “Johnny Atsign” feature is a work of fiction. But is it? Would a good libel attorney be able to bust Hoge for pointing out that his readers know perfectly well who and what he is talking about?
In today’s “episode,” Hoge writes about his involvement in what he calls a “honeypot”, a ruse designed to authenticate already authenticated information about me.
CHARACTER LIST: GROUCH, me; GRAYSON, Patrick Grady; ZOMBIE, “Paul Krendler;” JOHNNY, Hoge.
He then begins an extensive quote of a Johnny Atsign episode, and then writes this—
Does that even make any sense? I discovered the website accidentally by doing a search on the way “Krendler” and his readers spelled Hoge’s name with 21 O’s at certain times. I didn’t write a word about it until I had salvaged as much as I could from the Google Cache, from which one will find no sign of https://hoooooooooooooooooooooge.wordpress.com to this day.
Once I had all I could salvage, I revealed my discovery. Hoge immediately declared it a “honeypot.” Hundreds of pages and images, beginning March 28, 2014, and ending March 9, 2015. And Hoge admits his part in it.
If it is fake, it’s still horrible! It shows how determined Hoge, Grady, Palmer, Johnson and the whole Hee Haw gang were at pretending they were gathering evidence they hoped I would discover at about the same time my wife was dying.
If it’s real, it’s horrible. It is a journal of conspiracy showing how the gang worked under the cover of a members-only website to trade bits of personal information about me in an effort to wreck my life.
Either way, it’s horrible. And it will be introduced as evidence in the Federal Libel and Conspiracy trial in South Carolina.
AND HOGE JUST ADMITTED HIS PART IN IT!!!
Of course, I admitted no such thing. Oh, and nothing got admitted into evidence in the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit VIII because the suit didn’t survive a motion to dismiss.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. I’ve got a job for you.
JOHNNY: OK. What’s up?
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) The Bomber has served one of my clients with a summons, and he almost did it right this time.
JOHNNY: Almost?
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. He paid for Restricted Delivery, and the USPS tracking shows Restricted Delivery was paid for, but the Post Office actually delivered it to someone else.
JOHNNY: He can’t seem to ever get this right.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) We’re accepting service, but I want you to look at what’s going on. We believe he’s messed up service on some others.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, it’s Aaron. The judge ruled against me in the copyright amicus filing.
JOHNNY: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Actually, things turned out OK.
JOHNNY: How so?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) He ruled against The Bomber too.
JOHNNY: Huh?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) He’s got two weeks to tell the judge why the case shouldn’t be dismissed.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
ZOA: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, it’s Zoa. I’m going to need some more help.
JOHNNY: (Firmly) I’m fishing.
ZOA: (Telephone Filter) I know. It’s opening day for Rockfish, but something came up in the trial today. We need to run it down quickly.
JOHNNY: (Disappointed) OK. I’ll head back in.
SOUND: Outboard motor starting.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
ZOA: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, it’s Zoa. How’s that report coming.
JOHNNY: Check your email. I set you a final draft a couple of minutes ago.
ZOA: (Telephone Filter) Ah hah. It just popped up.
JOHNNY: OK. I’ll drop a hard copy off at your office in the morning. Will you need me for the trial?
ZOA: (Telephone Filter) I don’t think so. I’ll get in touch if I do.
JOHNNY: I’ll keep the date open just in case.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
STRIDER: (Telephone Filter) I’m calling to remind you of the hearing today.
JOHNNY: Is it still on?
STRIDER: (Telephone Filter) Yes. The Grouch can’t be there, and the Judge should grant a continuance, but you need to be there as a witness in case the judge goes ahead anyway.
JOHNNY: OK. I’ll meet you at the courthouse just before 1.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Hello! How ya’ doin’?
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I’m OK. Did you follow up on that copyright thing with The Grouch?
JOHNNY: Oh, yeah. Things got interesting.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Why, Lieutenant, to what do I owe the honor once again?
LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) Cut the sarcasm, Atsign. Look, I called to say, “Thanks,” for that help last week.
JOHNNY: Oh. Well, in that case, “You’re welcome.”
LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) If you’re headed down to Annapolis and Baltimore any time soon, I’d like to ask for another couple of favors.
JOHNNY: As a matter of fact I am. What’s on your mind?
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny. It’s Pete Candler.
JOHNNY: What’s up, Pete?
ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) I’m having a bit of a computer problem that I think you might be able to help me with.
JOHNNY: Well, I’m not much of an IT guy …
ZOMBIE: It’s not strictly a technical problem, and you may know where to find a solution.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign from seven years ago today tells of one of the more intriguing interviews Johnny conducted during the Short-Fused Dud Matter.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, It’s Aaron. We won.
JOHNNY: Congratulations! How long was the jury out?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) It didn’t go to the jury. The judge cut it off after The Bomber rested his case and gave us a directed verdict.
JOHNNY: Well, we knew that he didn’t have a case.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Yes. And he proved that for us.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, have you checked the Maryland Judiciary Case Search this morning?
JOHNNY: Not yet. What will I find?
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) The Bomber’s been sanctioned in his state lawsuit.
JOHNNY: Yeah?
RULE 5 GIRL: Yeah. He’s been ordered to pay legal fees to the Defendants’ lawyer.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
Saul Alinsky said that ridicule is man’s most potent weapon, and I’ve tried to use mockery in dealing with Team Kimberlin. When Matt Osborne made a lame joke about my believing myself to be the Sheriff of the Internet out a Blogsmoke fantasy, I began running a series of Blogsmoke old time radio parody scripts. That led to the Blognet and Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign features, all of which made fun of Team Kimberlin.
Of course, Bill Schmalfeldt tried to various competing radio drama parodies. This Johnny Atsign episode from six years ago today made fun of the Cabin Boy’s efforts.
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Blognet will be preempted this evening for a special edition of Yours Truly, Johnny Astign.ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Landline phone rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
CALLER: (Telephone Filter) I’d like to order a pizza to go with no anchovies.
JOHNNY: No anchovies? You’ve got the wrong man.
CALLER: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, yeah. You spell your name Atsign.
JOHNNY: OK. Who is this?
CALLER: (Telephone Filter) Let’s just say that I’m a man of mystery with some information for you.
JOHNNY: Really? Information about what?
CALLER: (Telephone Filter) About whom. Perhaps you know her as “Nancy.”
JOHNNY: Go on.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JENSEN: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Mr. Atsign. My name is Ernest Jensen. I think you might be able to help me.
JOHNNY: Hello, Mr. Jensen. What can I do for you?
JENSEN: (Telephone Filter) I’ve heard that you’ve done some investigating related to a guy on the Internet called The Grouch.
JOHNNY: He’s crossed my path.
JENSEN: (Telephone Filter) He’s suing me for defamation.
JOHNNY: He sues a lot of people, and, yes, I may be able to help you.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Good afternoon, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Hi! What’s up?
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) We’re putting the finishing touches on our discovery to The Bomber. That background material you’ve dug up has been helpful in framing some of the questions, but I’d like you to take a look to make sure we’re not misinterpreting or forgetting anything.
JOHNNY: Sounds like fun.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Can you be here tomorrow morning, say around 10?
JOHNNY: See you then.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
As I noted yesterday, The Dread Deadbeat Pyrotechnician Kimberlin is trying to wriggle out of some of his Speedway Bombing convictions via an appeal he’s trying to get going at the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. He was supposed to file a Transcript Information Sheet with the court on the 4th. He filed this instead:
SOUND: Old fashioned telephone bell rings four times.
JOHNNY: (Groggy) Johnny Atsign.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny. Did I wake you?
JOHNNY: Ah, yeah. It’s 5 o’clock out here on the West Coast.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Sorry about that, but this is important. You’re done out there, aren’t you?
JOHNNY: I’ve run down all the leads we’ve got.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) OK. Look, I’ve got you booked on a 9 am flight from LAX to Chicago. There’s more digging to do there.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
DD: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny, it’s Dinah Daley. I’ve gone over that fundraising filing you sent.
JOHNNY: And?
DD: (Telephone Filter) I emailed you a copy of my notes, but the quick version is it raises several red flags.
JOHNNY: Such as?
DD: (Telephone Filter) Well, the most obvious are the math errors. Take a look at my email and call me back with any questions.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
C.P: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign, my name is Carole Puller. I believe you may be able to help me.
JOHNNY: How so, Ms. Puller?
C.P.: (Telephone Filter) The subject of an article I published online is trying to get a peace order against me. She’s claiming that I’m harassing her by truthfully reporting on her criminal record.
JOHNNY: You don’t live in Montgomery County, do you?
C.P.: (Telephone Filter) No, I don’t, but she does.
JOHNNY: Tell me more.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
During the course of the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit, I filed a certified copy of the Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit transcript as an exhibit to a court paper. The Kimberlins claimed that the copy I had filed was forged. This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign which first ran four years ago today was interrupted for a news bulletin.
LITTLE BIRD: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, it’s Little Bird. Have you had a chance to go through the entire set yet?
JOHNNY: No. I’ve passed everything off to the guy who does that sort of analysis for me?
LITTLE BIRD: (Telephone Filter) OK, I was just following up. Call me if you need anything.
JOHNNY: I’ll send you a DM.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
SOUND: Old fashioned telephone bell rings four times.
JOHNNY: (Groggy) Johnny Atsign.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny. Did I wake you?
JOHNNY: Ah, yeah. It’s 5 o’clock out here on the West Coast.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Sorry about that, but this is important. You’re done out there, aren’t you?
JOHNNY: I’ve run down all the leads we’ve got.
PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) OK. Look, I’ve got you booked on a 9 am flight from LAX to Chicago. There’s more digging to do there.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, it’s Aaron. The judge ruled against me in the copyright amicus filing.
JOHNNY: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Actually, things turned out OK.
JOHNNY: How so?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) He ruled against The Bomber too.
JOHNNY: Huh?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) He’s got two weeks to tell the judge why the case shouldn’t be dismissed.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign, my name is Candler. I need some help.
JOHNNY: What kind of help, Mr. Candler?
ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) My fellow zombies and I have been collecting information about this guy who’s been harassing people online. It’s all from open public sources, mostly his own tweets and comments and blogs.
JOHNNY: Uh, huh.
ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Now that we’ve got all this data, we need to authenticate it.
JOHNNY: And I take it that you want help with that.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
AARON: Take a look at his Twitter timeline and then give me a call.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.
