Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


SOUND: (Caller’s POV) Phone rings twice.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) L-B-S.

JOHNNY: Hey, it’s Johnny Atsign.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. If you’re calling this late, it must mean you’re still out of town.

JOHNNY: Yep. I’ll be out on this case for a while.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Getting any fishing done.

JOHNNY: Not much yet, but it’s possible to fish for rainbow trout in one of the city parks in this town. But let’s get to why I called. The Grouch has been trying to forge a bunch of stuff recently, but The Bomber has an even longer record of faking stuff.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh.

JOHNNY: (Fading out) There’s an episode from …

ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.

JOHNNY: What’s up, Aaron?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) The Bomber’s filed that report the judge ordered.

JOHNNY: Which one? The one about service in the RICO suit?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, and some of the exhibits don’t add up

JOHNNY: And you want me to do some digging?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) You got it.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny left this afternoon muttering something about trout fishing on the Rio Grande. We’re presenting this vintage episode in his absence.

ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good afternoon, Johnny. Whatcha doin’?

JOHNNY: Hi. I’m not doing anything.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Nothing?

JOHNNY: Well, I’m drinking a cup of coffee, but otherwise, I’m taking a day off.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) You may want to take a look at The Grouch’s Twitter feed.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for —

SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Well, hello!

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Did you follow The Grouch’s antics over the weekend?

JOHNNY: Nope. I went fishing. What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) He’s threatening to file another LOLsuit.

JOHNNY: Good. That will make my life easier.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly Johnny Atsign


Johnny is still tying up some loose ends on an investigation, so we’re recycling the vintage episode.

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: (Groggy) Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny!

JOHNNY: (Suddenly Awake) Well, hello …

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you checked your DMs this morning.

JOHNNY: Not yet. I haven’t even had my coffee.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Check ’em.

JOHNNY: What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) You’ll see.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Programming Note


Most of today has been spent placing the flight hardware and lab equipment for the project I’m working on into safe storage for the duration of the government shutdown. As a result, I was unable to complete the Johnny Atsign script during my non-existent lunch break. However, Johnny should be back next week.

Comments should be directed to Senator Schumer’s office.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for —

SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Mr. Atsign.

JOHNNY: Yes?

DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) I have some more information for you. Meet me at the usual place and time.

SOUND: (Called Party’s POV) Line hung up. Dial tone.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Happy New Year, Johnny!

JOHNNY: Happy New Year to you! What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: Have you heard that The Grouch is hiding again?

JOHNNY: After losing an eight LOLsuit, that’s no surprise. He’s often a cowardly no-show. You know, he’s been life this as long as he’s been on my radar.

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

ZOA: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, it’s Zoa. I’m going to need some more help.

JOHNNY: (Firmly) I’m fishing.

ZOA: (Telephone Filter) I know. It’s opening day for Rockfish, but something came up in the trial today. We need to run it down quickly.

JOHNNY: (Disappointed) OK. I’ll head back in.

SOUND: Outboard motor starting.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading