Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

There’s still no news from the pending Team-Kimberlin-releated court cases, so here’s another recycle post. This one’s from four years ago today and deals with a silly YouTube video Bill Schmalfeldt posted. The original post was titled Hogeman: Internet Astronomer. The links to the Cabin Boy’s™ original material are broken because he has sent them down the memory hole.

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Come on in out of the corn starch, order yourself a pizza to go (hold the anchovies), and enjoy this worked example of discrediting Bill Schmalfeldt by quoting Bill Schmalfeldt.

[broken link to YouTube]

(H/T, Frankie) Note: If your browser has trouble with the audio on the YouTube file, click [broken link to SoundCloud].

You know, I probably shouldn’t have done this post. It will wind up increasing the exposure of that clip more than tenfold.

LibrauraniaBTW, Res judicata will be one of the principles that Justice will use when weighing in her scales the competing claims about the Cabin Boy’s motion to modify the peace order issued against him. Libra(The Scales) is one of the twelve constellations of the Zodiac.

The sun begins its transit of Libra on 16 October. Perhaps Bill Schmalfeldt should carefully check his horoscope before he comes to court that day.

UPDATE—The makers of Luciners Castor Oil Flakes and Fantastic Cigarettes, Luciners for the smile of Beauty, Fantastics for the smile of success, have brought you the transcribed Adventures of Nick Danger, Third Eye Hogeman: Internet Astronomer. Tune in again next week, same time, same station, when Nick Danger Hogeman meets the Arab The Fat Man.

UPDATE 2—Well, I looks as if the Cabin Boy no longer wishes to share his wit with us.

UPDATE 3—Schmalfeldt’s intro to his Hogeman: Internet Astronomer piece contained a statement that it was in the vein of such Firesign Theatre works as Nick Danger: Third Eye. That’s the reason for all of the allusions to Nick Danger in this post. Those of you who wish to hear more of the Schmalfeldt’s audio drama are stuck waiting for the Cabin Boy or someone like him.

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After four years, it may be time for the Cabin Boy™ to peel open a can of Bear Whiz beer from off his top shelf and contemplate the fact that everything he knows is wrong.

UPDATE—Yep, everything he knows is wrong.How I came to know the correct spelling is a story for which the world is not yet prepared, but I will note that Mrs. Hoge worked for The Firesign Theatre for a brief period while we lived in Southern California. Most of the unofficial Nick Danger scripts out on the Interwebz misspell the brand of the cereal Loosners, but a part of the real joke in the script is the use of Luciner, a real surname. It’s a pun.

The Cabin Boy’s™ talent for transcription doesn’t seem to be any better than Dr. Flotsam’s.


The Firesign Theatre’s vision of The Future Fair included this:

Well, Mr. President, it’s the bees and spiders again! They stole my food stamps, and sold ’em to the rats. And I tried to get down to my car, for to honk the horn for help, but the snakes has gotten it for the cockroaches. I go back upstairs, but the spiders has jammed the police lock! I ain’t been inside for a week, and I know that my wife is sleepin’ with the bees!

Could you state that as a question, please?

Well sure, Mr. President! Where can I get a job?!

From I Think We’re All Bozos on This Bus, 1971.

UPDATE—Oh, here’s Mr. President’s response:

Many busy executives ask me: What about the job displacement market in the city of the future? Well, count on us—”Jim!”—to be there! Because if we’re successful tomorrow—we won’t have to answer questions like yours, ever again.