Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Ah, 3 September! Today is the sixth anniversary of Bill Schmalfeldt coming to the notice of Hogewash! in a post called More Lawfare Threats From Team Kimberlin.

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Some bozo calling himself the Liberal Grouch appears to be a member of Brett Kimberlin’s clown posse, and he’s threatening to sue Aaron Walker for defamation. He believes that Mr. Walker defamed him because he was accurately quoted in postings tweeted by Mr. Walker.

You can find the details of the exchange in question here, including tweets/posts that the Liberal Grouch deleted (perhaps in an attempt to erase evidence?).

Team Kimberlin is saying that they will start a “legal defense fund” for the Liberal Grouch if he sues Mr. Walker. They have the right idea because he will need a defense fund when the counterclaims come back from Aaron Walker.

Oh, and if Bill Schmalfeldt (if that’s his real name) is stupid enough to sue Aaron Walker, I’ll be first in line to make a substantial contribution to the Blogger Defense Team to help defray Mr. Walker’s legal expenses.

UPDATE—@LiberalGrouch tweets that I should read his side of the story. [The original website has been abandoned. The link now goes to a femdom porn site. Viewer discretion advised.] I have. My comments above stand.

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The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt never got around to suing Aaron Walker, but Aaron did successfully represent a couple of the defendants in Scmalfeldt’s LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. After all his failed LOLsuits, including four targeting me, you’d think that the Cabin Boy™ would be ready to pack it in. Perhaps, he is. We haven’t seen LOLsuit IX yet.

Stay tuned.

Oh, one more thing … I wish to apologize to all bozos for intimating that Bill Schmalfeldt might be one. I regret my error.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


During the summer of 2015, Bill Schmalfeldt filed LOLsuit V: The Final in Maryland. After his In Forma Pauperis petition was challenged and other irregularities came to light, he panicked and dropped his case. Three years ago today, I took note of his capitulation in this post titled The Cabin Boy™ Throws in the Towel.

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He’s filed this motion to dismiss his LOLsuit against Patrick Grady and others.

UPDATE—IANAL, so this isn’t legal advice, but <em>murum aries attigit</em>.

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In his rush to get out from under the problems he was creating for himself, the Cabin Boy™ voluntarily dismissed his LOLsuit with prejudice. Dismissal with prejudice has the effect of granting the defendants a win based on the merits of the case. In other words, the Cabin Boy™ admitted his case was baseless. That should mean, for example, that he admitted Roy Schmalfeldt did not defame him by calling him a rapist.

That’s not exactly the same thing as admitting to being a rapist. IANAL, but it also seems to me that it doesn’t provide grounds for anyone else to call the Cabin Boy™ a rapist. However, it it truthful to report exactly what happened in LOLsuit V. Anyone learning those facts is free to form his own opinion concerning them.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Alinsky’s Rule 5 states that ridicule is man’s most potent weapon, and it it has been an easy one to deploy against Team Kimberlin. This bit of pointage, laughery, and mockification was a Legal LULZ Du Jour posted two years ago today.

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LG16_201608160451ZaIs that so?Complaint_43

UPDATE—The obvious syllogism one can derive from the above is—

Schmalfeldt accused Hoge of the crime of stalking.

Hoge has never been convicted of a crime.

Therefore, Schmalfeldt is a moron.

However, the conclusion may be faulty, at least under the original definition of a moron as an adult with a mental age of 8 to 12. Is the Cabin Boy™ that mature?

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The Cabin Boy™ got lucky with LOLsuit VII: Degenerations. His court appointed lawyer dismissed the case before any of Schmalfeldt’s sanctionable behavior came to the court’s attention.

Will he always be so lucky?

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Five years ago, Bill Schmalfeldt was chaffing under the first of the many restraining orders lodged against him, the first of the peace orders granted to protect me. As spring was ending, the Circuit Court granted my appeal and issued the order, and the Cabin Boy™ filed an appeal with the Maryland Court of Special Appeals which was improper. Maryland has a four-tier court system. At the bottom are the District Courts which handle petty cases such as traffic tickets, simple misdemeanors, and small ciivil cases. And peace orders. There are no jury trials. Those are handled by the next level, the Circuit Courts. The Circuit Courts also hears the appeals of case originating in the District Courts. Maryland law grants a right to one appeal for all cases. The Court of Special Appeals exists to handle those as-a-matter-of-right appeals from the Circuit Courts. The guaranteed appeal of a case originating in a District Court is exhausted in the Circuit Court. Like the U. S. Supreme Court, the state’s highest court, The Court of Appeals, doesn’t have to take cases, except for a very few types where the State Constitution gives it original jurisdiction.

Because the Cabin Boy™ was proceeding pro se, the Court of Special Appeals didn’t simply reject Schmalfeldt’s improper appeal. Instead, they kicked it upstairs (literally, from the second floor to the third), converting it to a petition for a writ of certiorari to the Court of Special Appeals. The Cabin Boy™ claimed in his appeal that the peace order violated the Americans with Disabilities Act because Parkinson’s. He also filed a motion to amend the order with the Circuit Court citing … um … because Parkinson’s.

And because of his pro se skills, I was supposed to be facing the direst of dire direness. Five years ago today, I responded to one of his silly threats with this post about #Bill Schmalfeldt and Landmarks.

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HogeCemetryThe Cabin Boy has a scary post up over at Old Uncle Bastard (No, I won’t link to it.) titled Whistling Past His Own Graveyard. He advises me

Nothing to worry about, Hoge. Just keep telling yourself that. Nothing to worry about.

while posting a countdown clock for The End of the World (As They Know It). The clock times out at noon on Sunday, 15 September, so I guess I’ll have something special to pray about at church that morning.

In a typical example of his lazy, shoddy research practices, Schmalfeldt used some generic picture of a cemetery as the illustration of his post. If I’m supposed to be whistling past my graveyard, he should have used a picture of the Hoge Cemetery. It’s a landmark overlooking the Tennessee River just southwest of Jasper in Marion County, Tennessee. And it’s not that hard to find via Google. FWIW, the group of headstones in the upper right of the picture belongs to members of my immediate family. I have a spot reserved among them.

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Nothing proceeded as the Cabin Boy™ had hallucinated.

And I misforesaw something as well. I had planned to move to my reserved spot in the Hoge Cemetery ahead of Mrs. Hoge.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Since the beginning of 2012, both The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin and The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt have lost all the LOLsuits they’ve filed against any defendant that either went to trial or even hung in as long as a court’s considering motions to dismiss. It seems to me that the principle reason for their record of failure is their gross incompetence at litigation which has provided bountiful quantities of pointage, laughery, and mockification. Consider this post from three years ago about Unintentional Humor in Lawfare related to the Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit V.

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The Cabin Boy™ has filed yet another one of his sterling bits of legal analysis.

I may have more to say after I quit laughing.

UPDATE—Extortion? No, Dave Edgren’s settlement negotiations are not extortion. See Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al., Case No. 13-CV-03059-GJH (D.Md. 2015) ECF No. 263 at 13, 14.

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This is was the LOLsuit that Schmalfeldt dismissed with prejudice—which I’m told means a win on the merits for the defendants, including his cousin who he was suing for defamation because the cousin had called him a rapist.

#StudidIsAsStupidDoes

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Three years ago, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt had just lost LOLsuits III and IV and was in the process of getting his butt kicked in LOLsuit V. While I had been a defendant in III and IV, I wasn’t in V. However, because the case was being tried in Maryland, I often ran courthouse errands for the defendants. It was fun watching the Cabin Boy™ getting put through the ringer of actual motions practice in a federal court. As this Prevarication Du Jour from three years ago today shows, if was even more fun seeing his failure to grasp what was hitting him.

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grouch365|201507180221ZOf course, nothing I’ve written here at Hogewash! comes remotely close to undermining Patrick Grady’s arguments concerning personal jurisdiction in the Cabin Boy’s LOLsuit.

OTOH, Bill Schmalfeldt is a laughing matter.

I don’t mean that his lawfare shouldn’t be taken seriously. It must be. What I mean is that he is not a serious person himself. He is an intellectual lightweight. He has an overinflated ego. And he is in over his head.

He is also vile and has spent much of the past decade inflicting himself on others via the Internet. XMFan, Daily Kos, Facebook, etc., have banned or suspended him. He now maintains his presence by moving from blog to blog and Twitter account to Twitter account while playing musical chairs with Internet radio feeds. And his faildoxes keep on coming.

A couple of years ago, some folks, I was among them, had had enough of the Cabin Boy™, and we began taking legal action against him. I was the first to be successful, but others have also succeeded in getting restraining orders against him. Schmalfeldt has tried various legal counterattacks, and all have failed or are failing. Schmalfeldt has further beclowned himself with his lawfare.

While Schmalfledt’s lawfare must be dealt with seriously in the courts of law, it should be subjected to ridicule in the courts of public opinion. Thus, one of my responses to his lawfare might be termed LOLfare. Somethings simply deserve to be laughed at.

UPDATE—Caution! Crackpot Theory Alert!grouch365201507181322ZAlso, the Cabin Boy™ hereby demonstrates his inability to correctly read the emotional responses of others. There is a huge difference between anger and derisive laughter.

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When the Cabin Boy™ finally understood the hole he was digging for himself, he dismissed LOLsuit V with prejudice (but without understanding what that meant) and fled Maryland. Wisconsin, Iowa, South Carolina, New Mexico, South Carolina, Iowa, South Carolina, …

And so it goes.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bullies think it’s unfair when you hit them back—which is why it’s not surprising that Bill Schmalfeldt whines and threatens the direst of dire direness whenever someone takes any step that might result in the Cabin Boy™ being held accountable for his actions. Three years ago, Schmalfeldt was in the midst of a flurry of LOLsuits. LOLsuit III had been thrown out because he sued in a court lacking jurisdiction., LOLsuit IV had been thrown out for improper venue, and LOLsuit V was just getting under way. The TKPOTD from three years ago today dealt with the Cabin Boy’s™ upset over being called a “deranged cyberstalker.”

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The Cabin Boy™ has his panties in a knot because folks refer to him as a “deranged cyberstalker.” (Stacy McCain deserves credit for first referring to Schmalfeldt that way.) Aside from the fact that expressing the opinion that Schmalfeld is a deranged cyberstalker is protected speech under the First Amendment, he is admittedly demented (deranged and demented are synonyms), and he is an adjudicated harasser. Since his harassing was done on line, that fits the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of cyberstalking. Thus, calling him a deranged cyberstalker is not only protected opinion, it is also an true statement backed by the facts.

TheDerangedCyberstalkerAdditionally, the Cabin Boy™ has promoted his identity as The Deranged Cyberstalker through the sale of a CD of his “comedy” bits. While that CD appears to be out of print, the tracks are still available for download from iTunes and Amazon. Note: Amazon’s MP3 downloads are cheaper and will play on Apple devices.

Imagine the cross examination in court …

Q: You say you were defamed and damaged by being called a “deranged cyberstalker.” Is that correct?

A: Yes.

Q: I show you the items marked as Defense Exhibits 11 and 12. They are screen shots from iTunes and Amazon, respectively. Can you identify the downloads offered for sale?

If the Cabin Boy™ is very lucky, Schmalfeldt v. Grady (, et al. ?) will be dismissed with prejudice.

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Indeed, LOLsuit V was dismissed with prejudice on a motion filed by Schmalfeldt himself. Dismissal with prejudice in a finding on the merits, so it would appear that the Cabin Boy™ admitted that his claims were bogus. Not longer after dismissing his LOLsuit, he fled the state of Maryland.

Nothing proceeded as he had hallucinated.