Tag Archives: Deadbeat Pirate Kimberlin

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Here’s a status report on some of the members of Team Kimberlin.

The Dread Deadbeat Pirate/Pro-Se/Publisher/Performer/Perjurer/Etc. Kimberlin is keeping a low profile on the Interwebz. Almost all of this web domains haver disappeared. With a couple of exceptions, what little remains hasn’t been well maintains for years. He’s been in court over the past few years in a frivolous attempt to overturn some of his Speedway Bombing convictions and has a couple appeals going in the Seventh Circuit.

First Mate Neal Rauhauser missed his million-dollar payday in Texas and is still hiding.

Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt has finally managed to hold a job past the probationary period and is working as the morning DJ at a small town AM station that is not authorized to operate with as much transmitter power as my ham radio station.

57F Matt Osborne has managed to get himself permanently banned from Twitter.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

—The Hollow Men, T. S. Eliot

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin is more than a bit odd. He has all sorts of quirks such as wearing white socks with a business suit. The TKPOTD from eight years ago dealt with one of the early influences in his life. The post was titled Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin, Randian.

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What were the influences on the young Brett Kimberlin that formed his character? Mark Singer records an unlikely one on page 62 of Citizen K.

The experience of reading Ayn Rand, especially Atlas Shrugged, “changed my life.” He admired the way Rand’s characters rigidly “stuck to their principles” and jealously guarded their independence.

I suppose that at least partially explains his lack of altruism.

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Howard Roark and John Galt unavailable for comment.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin is a perjurer. He was convicted of perjury before he turned 20, and he has continued to make false statements under oath. In January, 2013, I ran a series of post dealing with the lies he told in court during the the early days of his lawfare campaign. The post from eight years ago today was Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin and Perjury 10.

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On 29 June, 2012, there was a hearing in Montgomery County District Court for a peace order petition that TDPK had filed against one John Norton. Brett Kimberlin was in his usual form. While I don’t have an official transcript of the hearing, Aaron Walker has transcribed portions from audio that he obtained from the court.

TDPK claimed that Mr. Norton had been lurking in the bushes in front of the Kimberlin residence. In the transcript below K is Brett Kimberlin and J is the judge. TDPK said that he was going to pick up his 8 year old daughter from a neighbor’s house—

K: And so I walked out of my door, to go pick her up, and I see a man lurking behind the bushes in the corner of my property and I was kind of taken aback by it. But I kept walking toward my car because I had to pick my daughter up.

J: Now was that in the general direction of where the man was in the bushes or in the opposite?

K: The man was facing the road, the— to the left of the— on the left side of my house there’s some bushes towards the road and my car was right in front of my house.

Lurking in the bushes? As I type this, I’m looking at the Google Street View image of the Kimberlin residence. Looking from the street, there’s a small shrub that appears to actually be on the property next door by the neighbor’s driveway. It’s “on the left” as seen from that point of view. There’s also a even smaller shrub at the opposite front corner of the Kimberlin lot. It appears to be about as tall as the fire hydrant in front of it. I’m not sure how one would lurk in those bushes.

K: And so I turn around, obviously I was concerned about my daughter. You know, I didn’t know if anything had happened to her, I was scared, so I turned around and I went to the neighbor’s house. She was right there in front of the house. I put her in the car and Mr. Norton is driving away, and so I—

J: Have you ever seen this man before?

K: Never seen him before in my life.

J: Every seen the car before?

K: Never seen the car before.

J: Alright.

K: So I followed the car, and went around the corner, and there was a stop light. I pull up behind him and he’s… again it’s a convertible, and he reaches around with a camera, again, and takes more pictures of me. I gave him the finger, I admit it, you know, I don’t like a guy coming out in front of my house taking pictures of me and my kid.

He’s concerned that this lurker might be dangerous, so he puts his daughter in the car and chases after the guy.

Uh, huh.

So what was Mr. Norton’s side of the story? In the transcript below N is John Norton and L is his lawyer.

L: Did there come a time when you ended up coming into contact with Mr. Kimberlin?

N: Not any physical contact, but he did chase me down in his car, the picture he showed, shows him behind me, flipping me off. I don’t know why he chose to chase me down. I was not on his property, I have stopped my car on [Kimberlin’s street name omitted].

L: What brings you on [Kimberlin’s street]?

N: It is a bail out route on my commute.

L: And where is your commute?

N: I commute between Bethesda, Maryland, and Fairfax, Virginia.

Chased him down?

L: And on June… what’s the date here? June 15, is it? June 15, you said, what brought your attention— what caused you to take out your phone and take a picture of the car behind you?

N: When I was on River Road, I saw what turned out to be Mr. Kimberlin’s car driving erratically, cutting in and out of lanes, trying to catch up to me, tailgating me. We reached the stoplight at River and Burdette, he pulled up… you can see how close in the picture, how close it was. He… he pulled out a pen and [unintelligible] furiously scribbingly as if he wanted me to know he was writing something down, he was revving the engine in his car, and for me, I thought, “some crazy person is chasing me down, I need some evidence, I need some protection.” So I picked up my phone and shot about seven seconds of video, from which the picture of him flipping me off was taken as a framegrab.

TDPK claimed that he was freaked out when Seth Allen reposted the picture of him flipping off Mr. Norton.

K: The picture of my car, that was posted on the internet by the client of the man that I had the peace order against. So I get kind of freaked out that, you know, this guy is somehow related to the guy who I had a peace order against, Mr. Walker.

Note that Mr. Allen could not have posted the photo before or during TDPK’s chase of Mr. Norton. In any case, Mr. Norton had no association with either Mr. Allen or Mr. Walker.

L: Now, are you associated with Aaron Walker, any [sic]?

N: I am not.

L: Okay. And, did you go to his house on June 15, to take pictures, get out of your car and take pictures?

N: I did not go to Mr. Kimberlin’s house. I did not get out of my car. I did not take pictures at his house.

L: Alright. And what caused you to post the picture of Mr. Kimberlin flipping you off on the internet?

N: Well, first of all, for protection to make sure that it was publicized, that someone had chased me down and was flipping me off. And also, honestly, I thought it was kind of funny.

We have two different stories. One is told by a reputable citizen with nothing more that traffic tickets on his record, and that story is corroborated, at least in part, by other evidence. The other is told by a convicted felon, one of who’s crimes is perjury, and that story is contradicted by other evidence. Who would you believe?

So we have the records of nine appearances before judges in Montgomery County, and each appearance has something hinky about TDPK’s testimony. Some of his tales are, perhaps, merely flakey. Some are clearly false, but the State’s Attorney has given TDPK a free pass.

John McCarthy has not yet answered the letter I sent him asking about his decisions to refrain from prosecuting Brett Kimberlin for perjury. Fine. I’m not one of his constituents. Maybe he will have to explain his decision in 2014 when he’s up for reelection.

UPDATE–Spelling error corrected. @&#$ing autocorrect.

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Lying liars gotta lie.

BTW, in 2016, a District Court Commission found probable cause to charge Kimberlin with perjury for statements made in the Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit, but once again, the Montgomery County State’s Attorney’s Office dropped the charge.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Every so often, I pause and offer an explanation of how Brett Kimberlin came to be know as The Dread Deadbeat [insert word beginning with P] Kimberlin. The TKPOTD from a year ago today is worth recycling for that purpose.

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Brett Kimberlin was tagged with the nickname “The Dread Pirate Kimberlin” back in 2012 when he created a pirate-themed website for his Bloggers Offense Fund. He’s since been referred to as The Dread Performer/Publisher/Prevaricator/Protestor/etc. Kimberlin, and after he failed to pay court sanctions and fees that he owes for the frivolous LOLsuits and appeals he’s waged, “Dread” became “Deadbeat.”

For the past year or so, The Dread Deadbeat [insert word beginning with P] Kimberlin appears to have been trying to keep a lower public profile since losing every one of the LOLsuits he filed between 2012 and 2016. He may have learned that pro se litigation is an ineffective method of intimidation against a defendant determined to stand up for his First Amendment rights.

Just because he’s been trying to fly below the radar doesn’t mean that he hasn’t been observed. Interesting things may unfold this year.

Meanwhile, here’s an image that has appeared from time to time at Hogewash! to illustrate the results of Team Kimberlin’s activities. It sums up TDPK’s career—

Stay tuned.

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Team Kimberlin’s web presence shrank as 2020 went along. We’ll see how 2021 goes.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Lawfare was one of the tactics that Team Kimberlin used to try punish those of us who have written about them. Intimidation via cyberharassment was another. Two posts from five years ago today dealt with my experience. The first was titled Cyberthuggery; the second was titled [redacted].

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Louis Armstrong once said that he tried to make sure that his mouth didn’t write checks that the rest of him couldn’t cash. That’s a wise approach.

A cyberthug, OTOH, is a wuss who hides behind the physical disconnection of the Interwebz to talk trash. He’ll tell his target about how he’s going to do this or that and how he’ll [redacted] his target up, but a cyberthug runs away when things get real.

Does this sound like anyone you’ve come across on the Interwebz?

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For most of this year, I’ve been allowing almost all of the off-color-to-obscene harassing comments to Hogewash! through moderation, but I’ve been redacting things that don’t meet my editorial standard for propriety. A significant portion of the redacted comments are addressed to Mrs. Hoge or are about her. Quite often they deal with her bout with cancer, suggesting that her case is terminal. One received less than a hour ago suggested that this would be our last Christmas together.

That may be. After all, none of us get out of here alive, and given my problems with cardiovascular disease, I’m a prime candidate for a heart attack. Indeed, with Mrs. Hoge’s progress moving into remission following her round of IV chemotherapy, she’s very likely to outlive me. For now, we both seem healthy enough. With luck, we’ll share many more years together. If not, we will have had a great life together while it lasted. We’ll take what comes.

It’s really quite sad to read these comments. They don’t hurt me—they’re clearly from hurting men who have suffered deeply from failed relationships with women. It’s all so pitiful.

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Some of those checks are past due and the holder in due course expects to collect on them.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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The Gentle Readers who are new to this blog may wonder what Team Kimberlin is. Simply put, it’s a group of supporters and enablers of Brett Kimberlin, a notorious criminal and anti-First-Amendment activist. Occasionally, I repost one of the guides to the various members of the Team. This early description, On Job Descriptions, is from seven years ago today.

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I’d like to explain to the new members of the Gentle Readership about the job descriptions given to some of the members of Team Kimberlin.

The Dread Pirate Kimberlin received his title after he put up a pirate-themed website called the Bloggers Offense Team. That site is now defunct.

The initial job descriptions of the crew included Neal Rauhauser as First Mate, given his apparent status at the time as TDPK’s righthand man; Ron Brynaert as a Crew Member; and Occupy Rebellion as an Imaginary Friend, given that there were multiple persons behind that identity. Note that these are job descriptions and not nicknames. Referring to Neal Rauhauser as “First Mate” doesn’t give him a nickname any more than calling Al Franken a “Senator” is using a nickname (as calling him “Stuart Smalley” might).

Thus far, only one member of Team Kimberlin has expressed any distress allegedly caused by his job description, one which I did not create. It was given to a crew member who seems to work as a flunky for TDPK and FMNR, and the realization of his place in the food chain probably conflicts with his delusions of adequacy.

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Of course, the noisiest member of that crew has been the Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt™.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin appears to have consolidated the hosting for some of his web domains on a xeonhosting dot net server in The Netherlands. The pre-2019 versions of jtmp dot org and protectourelections dot org are up. For a few days the DONATE button on the Protect Our Elections site linked to a PayPal account, but it now dead end to a Donate page with no links.

I find it interesting that those two site seemed to have lost their later content. Both had had some material posted in 2019, the POE site was still trying to spin a Russian election hacking story earlier this year. FWIW, there’s noting posted after December, 2018, at breitbartunmasked dot com either. That was when Bill Schmalfeldt began his career move into the part-time radio announcer business..

Speaking of Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Unread, this Prevarication Du Jour from seven years ago today chronicles one of that site’s many lies.

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BU_DanBackerOne of my codefendants in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO lawsuit is DB Capitol Strategies, a firm run by Dan Backer. Dan got on The Dread Pirate Kimberlin’s enemies list because he represented Aaron Walker in his suits against TDPK in 2012.

The picture and caption on the right are from the sidebar Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.). Like so much of the junk found at that site, it is utterly wrong. The only thing they got right about Dan is the spelling of his name. For example, he did not argue McCutcheon v. FEC at the Supreme Court. According to the Court’s transcript, Erin Murphy did.

Not only are the bozos who run that site liars, they’re not very good liars—as a 30 second Google search often demonstrates.

Fail.

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Neither The Dread Deadbeat Pirate Publisher Kimberlin nor the Cabin Boy™ has had much success these past few years.

Get used to disappointment.

—Dread Pirate Roberts

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin’s attempt to use the legal system to shutdown truthful report on his past and present activities was doomed to failure because it was based on lies, and stupid lies at that. Lies that were easily disproved, as the TKPOTD from six years ago today demonstrated.

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The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin has never let facts get in the way of the allegations in his various vexatious lawsuits. This is from the second amended complaint for his Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.ECF 135-89_90TDPK wants the court to believe that on 25 May, 2012, that Glenn Beck published an article about Aaron Walker being SWATted.

Uh, huh.

Take a look at the date on the police report relating to the Walker SWATting. (You can view the entire report here.)AW_SWAT_reportThe report is dated 25 June, 2012. That’s the day that the gag order portion of the peace order TDPK had won against Aaron Walker was ruled unconstitutional and set aside. (The peace order itself was thrown out a couple of weeks later.) 25 May was the date of the Everyone Blog About Brett Kimberlin Day blogburst. While many blogs, including Hogewash!, wrote about TDPK on that day, none of them wrote about a SWATting that wasn’t going to occur for another month.

One or two typos or minor errors might occur in an 82-page document. (That’s the length of TDPK second amended complaint. Court rules limit such filings to 50 pages.) However, given the pervasiveness of the falsehoods in all his court papers, the Gentle Reader should not be surprised to learn that it’s my opinion that those errors are not mistakes. I believe they are lies.

Disney Crocodile_350Meanwhile, the clock is ticking/tocking away, and pages are being turned on the calendar. Brett Kimberlin’s omnibus response to the (eleven, so far) motions to dismiss his vexatious RICO Madness is due on 8 December. Perhaps The Dread Pro-Se Pirate Kimberlin should be careful when he hears that tick/tock sound.

Stay tuned.

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Of course, there is another possible reason why Kimberlin might tell such tales: He might so detached from Reality that he believes his own narratives.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin has a long history of making inflated claims about the effectiveness and reach of his not-for-profits Consider the howler detailed seven years ago today in a post titled Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin’s Extended Crew.

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During the damages hearing for the Kimberlin v. Allen lawsuit back in November, 2011, TDPK said the following under oath concerning one of his “charities”:

The other organization is called Velvet Revolution. And Velvet Revolution is a, it’s an organization that has over 150 organizations affiliated with it nationwide, with a membership base of over, over a million people …

That’s one heckuva following. Gentle Reader, do you think it’s real?

Me neither.

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In 2017, Kimberlin changed the corporate name of Velvet Revolution US to Protect Our Elections/EMPR Inc. While the empr dot media Ukrainian news website still appears to be a going concern, the protectourelections dot org website has only rarely been updated over the past year. The PayPal donation link goes to dead account, and has been like that for a while.

While VRUS may have tried to “affiliate” with 150 or so other groups, few, if any, of the connections were two-way. If Kimberlin were able to exploit “over a million people” as potential donors, the POE website’s PayPal link would be too valuable to allow it to be out of service.

It’s almost as if Kimberlin was lying.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Seven years ago today, I ran this post about Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin and Autocorrect.

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I abbreviate the name of TDPK’s 501(c)(4), Velvet Revolution US as VRUS. The autocorrect keeps trying to insert an i.

Maybe I should let it.

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Of course, there’s a significant difference between the VRUS website (which is still up wasting bandwidth) and a virus. Most viruses have better continuing support from their originator.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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One of the ways that The Dread Deadbeat Protestor Kimberlin tried to raise money was by seeking donations to his Justice Through Music Project not-for-profit to pay that outfit for publicizing the legal situation of a Russian rock band called Pussy Riot. None of the funds collected would go for their legal defense, JTMP would just talk and write about them. Six years ago, I published A Spelling Lesson that talked about that fund raising effort.

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pussyriot_jtmpThe Russian feminist punk rock group spells their band’s name in Latin letters “Pussy Riot.” It’s occasionally transliterated into Cyrillic as “Пусси Райот.” The “spelling” shown above is from the Justice Through Music Project donation page exploiting the band’s legal troubles. One would think that The Dread Pirate Kimberlin, who is alleged to speak and read Russian, would know better.

Некультурный!

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I appears that JTMP’s PR effort was a bust. Maybe that’s why TDPK switched his emphasis to Ukraine.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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It was seven years ago that this blog first referred to Brett Kimberlin as Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin.

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Team Kimberlin has a new website called Bloggers Offense Team. (No, I won’t link to it.) The site’s logo is shown on the left. The choice of the pirate-related logo is interesting. Pirates aren’t semi-sympathetic, comedic characters from a Johnny Depp movie. They are criminals.

It think a mask just slipped.

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Of course, Brett Kimberlin never could achieve a passable level of dreadness, so he now simply The Deadbeat Pirate Kimberlin.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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The TKPOTD for six years ago today must have really bothered The Dread Deadbeat Pirate Kimberlin. It’s the only post here at Hogewash! that I’m aware of with more down twinkles than thumbs up.

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There are some things that are so far out in the ozone that you couldn’t make ’em up if you tried. I found this in Brett Kimberlin’s bio on his personal website (No, I won’t link to it.).

Brett has also been passionate about protecting the rights of minorities by exposing bigots, hate groups, and bullies.

Exposing bigots, hate groups, and bullies, huh?

I don’t know about you, but I class anti-Semites as bigots. Brett Kimberlin’s anti-Semitism is well documented.

I don’t know about you, but I count those who have a history of cowardly attacks among the bullies.

And would you say that an organization (Koch Watch, NIWLTI) that promotes hatred based on a greedy desire to appropriate the fruits of the success of others might be a hate group?

Is Brett Kimberlin trying to expose himself?

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I apologize for any poor mental image that may have been caused by that last question.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Six years ago, Bill Schmalfeldt was off on a Kimberlin-is-Hoge’s-white-whale tangent. The Cabin Boy™ was apparently triggered by a graphic which I believe was created by Kimberlin Unmasked and that appears to have really gotten underneath The Dread Deadbeat Pirate Kimberlin’s skin. Indeed, TDPK sent me a copy of that graphic during discovery in the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. case as evidence he planned to use for his defense in that lawsuit.The TKPOTD for six years ago today was my response to the Cabin Boy’s nonsense.

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Cabin Boy Pip Bill’s latest idée fixe is that I’m obsessed with Moby Brett. If that were the case, I’d have added one of these to my gun collection by now.Whaling_harpoonImage Credit: Stahlkocher (GNU Free Documentation License)

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I hear that those things are a bit of overkill on manatees.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Unread is in one of its dormant phases now, but when it’s publishing, it’s a primary source for Team Kimberlin’s false narratives and lies. This Prevarication Du Jour from five years ago today spotlighted one of the howlers told by Matt Osborne when he was hiding behind the nom de cyber of Xenophon. (Note: Xenophon was a famous Greek general, and Matt Osborne is a mediocre historian and a soldier who couldn’t manage to get promoted to Sergeant in ten years.)

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Xenophon the Troll is channeling the Amazingly Inaccurate Criswell again over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) This time the nonsense has to do to with First Mate Neal Rauhauser’s attempt to gen up some sort of connection between the Kimberlin Unmasked identity and a real person.BU20140127That’s an ambitious undertaking—foolhardy, because there’s nothing to find—but it’s ambitious. You see, Team Kimberlin has already run afoul of the GIGO principle: garbage in, garbage out.

OK, what do I mean by garbage in? Consider these bits of data:forgedTwitterIPThe account_id is the correct one for @Kimberlinunmask. However, the login time is on 24 December, 2013. The @Kimberlinumask account was suspended on that day, and it’s not possible to login to a gulaged account.

While it’s not quite as obviously stupid a submitting two versions of the same document to the same court in the same case or as mind-bogglingly crude as failing to remove a PACER legend and using the wrong typeface to create a do-it-yourself court summons, it is … well … it’s kinda amateurish.

#Garbage_Out

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The incompetent navigation guiding The Dread Deadbeat Pirate Kimberlin’s ship of fools keeps running aground on the Rocks of Reality. The Truth is not their friend.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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It seems that even people who want to believe Brett Kimberlin eventually figure out that he’s a liar. This post from six years ago today titled Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin, Storyteller was taken from Kimberlin’s authorized biography.

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From listening to him in court, reading his court filings, and viewing his web sites, it seems to me that TDPK is making stuff up as he goes along. Mark Singer came to a similar conclusion in his book Citizen K. The following is from a section that begins at the bottom of page 335.

I came to this conclusion:

The Quayle story was Kimberlin’s most successful creation, the invention that propelled him further than any other. Someone he knew, but not Kimberlin himself, had either sold or claimed to have sold pot to Quayle—and he appropriated this for himself. …

I spent four years asking questions about Kimberlin, and along the way I never met a soul who could offer genuine corroboration of the fable that brought his to my attention in the first place.

Brett Kimberlin is a storyteller, a teller of tall tales, but not a very good one. He sometimes has trouble remembering what he said to whom when. Of course, if one tells the truth, that’s less of a problem.

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Lying liars gotta lie.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin was tagged with the nickname “The Dread Pirate Kimberlin” back in 2012 when he created a pirate-themed website for his Bloggers Offense Fund. He’s since been referred to as The Dread Performer/Publisher/Prevaricator/Protestor/etc. Kimberlin, and after he failed to pay court sanctions and fees that he owes for the frivolous LOLsuits and appeals he’s waged, “Dread” became “Deadbeat.”

For the past year or so, The Dread Deadbeat [insert word beginning with P] Kimberlin appears to have been trying to keep a lower public profile since losing every one of the LOLsuits he filed between 2012 and 2016. He may have learned that pro se litigation is an ineffective method of intimidation against a defendant determined to stand up for his First Amendment rights.

Just because he’s been trying to fly below the radar doesn’t mean that he hasn’t been observed. Interesting things may unfold this year.

Meanwhile, here’s an image that has appeared from time to time at Hogewash! to illustrate the results of Team Kimberlin’s activities. It sums up TDPK’s career—

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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One of the reasons that I have ridiculed The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin is that his behavior has been ridiculous. It has been all along as was described in this post from six years ago today titled The Unique Criminal History of Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin.

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brett-kimberlin-terrorist-in-security-guard-uniform1TDPK was busted by the FBI and U. S. Army CID for impersonating a Department of Defense police officer when he tried to have some documents copied at an Indianapolis print shop. It was that arrest that led to a search of the car that he was driving. That search turned up the bomb making materials that led to his being charged as the Speedway Bomber.

Mark Singer adds this on page 94 of his book Citizen K:

Halloween was still a few weeks away, but Brett was already in costume. He had on navy-blue trousers, a medium-blue short-sleeved shirt with a sew-on cloth Department of Defense Police shoulder patch, and a gray wide-brimmed felt hat. The overall effect—especially the Smokey the Bear flourish of the hat—bordered on slapstick. The eventual charges against Kimberlin were impersonating a Department of Defense officer, illegal possession of military insignia, and illegal possession of a facsimile of the Great Seal of the President of the United States. The latter two offenses were so obscure that Kimberlin said his later search of case law turned up no other criminal prosecutions under the relevant statutes—a statistic that seems to fit the novel circumstances under which he got himself busted.

Others have been convicted of terrorist crimes such as bombing, others have been convicted of impersonating government officers, but to be the first, and only, one convicted of illegal possession of the Presidential seal … Now, that’s a unique place in the annals of crime!

UPDATE—Mark Singer notes the “slapstick” appearance of TDPK in his getup. I note that his beard is a sufficiently gross violation of the grooming standards in place at the time that no DoD personnel, military or civilian, would have believed he was for real.

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That silly costume fooled no one except The Dread Deadbeat Prevaricator Kimberlin himself.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Early on in this blog’s coverage of The Saga of The Dread Deadbeat Pirate (Pro-Se) Kimberlin, I warned him about the public mockery that would result fit he continued a campaign of lawfare against the First Amendment rights of his critics. This post from six years ago is just one example.

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I’m gonna cut to the chase. Here is Defendant Kimberlin’s Response to Plaintiff’s Motion to Deny Motion to Dismiss and Motion for Protective Order for Failure to Follow Rules 4:15 [sic] in the Virginia Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. case. Scroll down to paragraph 8.

<fisking>

Incredibly, …

What’s so incredible that a blogger who has been covering this lawsuit would continue to do so? The hearings are public events. The court documents not under seal are public documents.

… Plaintiff’s associate, William Hoge, …

I suppose that I am associated with Aaron Walker in that I have come to see him as a friend over the past few months. However, I have no interest in his lawsuit with TDPK other than my support for a friend’s First Amendment and other legal rights.

… who was at the hearing with Plaintiff, …

Well, yes, I was at the hearing, and after schlepping all the way from Westminster, MD, to Manassas, VA, I went to lunch with him that day also. I plan to be at the hearing this Friday too.

… has since posted more than a dozen blog posts about this case, …

Sure have. More on the way.

… including many that discuss Defendant’s discovery filings, his response to that discovery and how dire the Defendant’s legal problems are due to his failure to understand or follow the rules.

I have not, however, disclosed the contents of any of the discovery. I don’t have access to any of those sealed documents, and even if I did, I would respect Judge Potter’s order to keep discovery confidential. TDPK is the one who has included material from sealed documents in open filings.<fisking>

<mockery>Dear Dread Pirate Kimberlin:

If you wish me to stop using your motions as a grist for the mill of Internet mockery, I suggest you stop creating the source material.

Also, I’ve worked hard at trying to have a neat and clean appearance here at Hogewash! While I understand that your use of my blog posts as exhibits in your motions is “fair use,” I ask that you at least use good quality screen captures or printouts of my posts. If you can’t get decent versions with your equipment, let me know what you need, and I will be pleased to provide high-resolution electronic copies of any of my material.

Laughingly yours,
W. J. J. Hoge</mockery>

Gentle Readers, I’ll be fisking more of this filing a bit later. Also, I’ll be commenting on TDPK’s reply to the sanctions motion after I’ve redacted the improperly included materials that should have remained under seal.

You’ll need a large bag of popcorn for what’s coming. Stay tuned.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, …

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As it says in the banner at the top of this blog, “Never pick a fight with a man who buys pixels by the terabyte.” The pointage, laughery, and mockification continues.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Brett Kimberlin has tried to paint his enemies as racists (especially Stacy McCain) and Islamophobes (especially Aaron Walker). The following is from a piece that ran six years ago today titled Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin and Muslim Hurt Feelings.

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In an earlier episode of our series, we saw that TDPK seems to have a special sensitivity for the feelings of Muslims who have been hurt by depictions of their Prophet. Indeed, in his most recent court filing TDPK asserts that the whole brouhaha between him and Aaron Walker relates to disrespectful treatment of Mohammed in pictures posted on one of Mr. Walker’s websites.

<mockery>One of the claims that TDPK has made all along is that he has been concerned that Mr. Walker would be the victim of violence at the hands of Islamic extremists. As a result of that fear, he needed to out the Aaron Worthing nom de cyber. Clearly, TDPK has been taking lesson from the same strategist who had to burn villages in order to save them.

If it were honest, TDPK’s concern for Mr. Walker’s safety would be touching.

What would make more sense would be for TDPK to be concerned for his own safety should he fall into the hands of those same Islamic extremists. TDPK is an avowed atheist, and avowing atheism is consider telling a lie about Allah by the Koran. Furthermore, sura 4:89 says:

They desire that you should disbelieve as they have disbelieved, so that you might be (all) alike; therefore take not from among them friends until they fly (their homes) in Allah’s way; but if they turn back, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them, and take not from among them a friend or a helper.

TDPK may be even less wise in his selection of friends than in his selection of enemies.</mockery>

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Here’s an interesting factoid about the Justice Through Music Project website. It still has a couple of posts up from 2011 and 2012 about working with activists from moslem countries as part of a State Department program. (Claims in some of The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s LOLsuits have related to losing that work with the State Department.) While the texts of the posts are still online, all of the pictures have been taken down.

Hmmmm.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, and six years ago today, I ran this post about Talking Like Dread Pirate #Brett Kimberlin.

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Arrrrgh! None of the rest of his crew were available for comment.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Back in 2012, a legal fund called the Bloggers Defense Fund was set up to support Aaron Walker in his court cases involving Brett Kimberlin. Kimberlin responded by setting up the Bloggers Offense Fund with a pirate-themed website. It’s because of that fund and website that he became laughingly referred to as The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. This post from six years ago today contrasted Kimberlin with Dread Pirate Roberts.

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The Dread Pirate Roberts, so the story goes, is a pirate of near-mythical reputation, someone feared across the seven seas for his ruthlessness and swordfighting prowess, and who is well known for taking no prisoners. Ships immediately surrender and give up their cargos rather than be captured, a fate they imagine to be certain death.

The Dread Pirate Kimberlin is more like a legend in his own mind, a pretender who wishes to be feared for his ruthlessness and legal ability and to be known for vanquishing all comers in court. Critics, he thinks, should immediately stop telling the truth about him and give up their First Amendment rights at his command.

It turns out that Dread Pirate Kimberlin’s legal acumen seems to be as fictional as Dread Pirate Roberts’ existence. And no one will surrender to Dread Pirate Kimberlin.

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And no defendant loses to The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin. And no one listens to The Dread Deadbeat Performer Kimberlin, And no one reads the websites fo the Dread Deadbeat Publisher Kimberlin. And no one …

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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From time to time, I repost information about how Brett Kimberlin came to be known as The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin. This is what I posted on the subject four years ago today.

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bot_logoSome of the newer followers of The Saga of The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin may wonder why he is called that. The nickname descends from an earlier one—The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. That came about after he put up a spectacularly unsuccessful pirate-theme fundraising website called Bloggers Offense Team. I found Kimberlin’s choice of the pirate-related logo at left is interesting. Pirates aren’t semi-sympathetic, comedic characters from a Johnny Depp movie. They are criminals. Was the mask slipping?

That got me to thinking … While Brett Kimberlin’s unconstitutional peace order prohibiting Aaron Walker from blogging about him was in place, I had taken to referring to Kimberlin as Lord Voldemort (“He who must not be named”). Why not a piracy themed nickname? The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. I used it, and it stuck—not only with my readers, but other bloggers began using it occasionally too.

As fans of The Princess Bride know, The Dread Pirate Roberts is a pirate of near-mythical reputation, someone feared across the seven seas for his ruthlessness and swordfighting prowess and who is well known for taking no prisoners. Ships immediately surrender and give up their cargos rather than be captured, a fate they imagine to be certain death.

TDPKThe Dread Pirate Kimberlin is more like a legend in his own mind, a pretender who wishes to be feared for his ruthlessness and legal ability and to be known for vanquishing all comers in court. Critics, he thinks, should immediately stop telling the truth about him and give up their First Amendment rights at his command.

It turns out that The Dread Pirate Kimberlin’s legal acumen seems to be as fictional as The Dread Pirate Roberts’ existence. And no one is willing to surrender to The Dread Pirate Kimberlin.

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Kimberlin’s repeated failure to pay the judgments and sanctions he owes have led to Dread being struck through and replaced with Deadbeat. His failures at almost everything he’s tried have led to other words being used in place of Pirate and Pro-Se. As a musician, he’s The Dread Deadbeat Performer Kimberlin. Given his string of unread websites, he’s The Dread Deadbeat Publisher Kimberlin. As a result of all the false narratives he’s tired to spin against his enemies, he’s The Dread Deadbeat Prevaricator Kimberlin. And so it goes.

Failing failures gotta fail.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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Four years ago, I began occasional posts from The Dread Pirate’s Dictionary after a reader’s request.

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TDPKTDPK is an abbreviation originally for The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. That name came into use when Brett Kimberlin put up a pirate-themed Bloggers Offense Fund website in a lame attempt to parody the Bloggers Defense Fund site that was raising support for Aaron Walker. Since Kimberlin has begun suing folks, it also stands for The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin. Kimberlin is representing himself in the lawsuits. The legal Latin for self-represented status is pro se. Note: During the brief period when Kimberlin had an unconstitutional gag order in place against Aaron Walker, he was referred to as Lord Voldemort (“He who must not be named under penalty of court order”).

Team Kimberlin is the loose association of cyberthugs who are engaged in the support of TDPK and his interests online. Note: During the interval when Kimberlin was referred to as Lord Voldemort, his associates were called “Death Eater Wannabes.”

CBBS is an abbreviation for Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt. The Cabin Boy™ is the noisiest and possibly the most noisome member of Team Kimberlin. In the past, he served as the Team’s PR flack. He is noted for his use of threats, online harassment, and faildoxing when engaging in his own special brand of inept “journalism.” Recently, he made an abortive attempt to get into lawfare like TDPK, earning himself the additional designation as TDPS, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™.

Lawfare is the use of meritless civil lawsuits filed on the cheap by a pro se litigant to inflict the cost of defending the suits on the victims/defendants.

team_kimberlin_briefUPDATE—Acme Law is the presumed legal brain trust behind Team Kimberlin’s lawfare efforts and the source of Team Kimberlin’s legal briefs. It is reputed to be the legal department of the famous Acme Company that supplies Wile E. Coyote.

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I’ll add that back in 2012 when Kimberlin was first referred to as “The Dread Pirate,” I noted that an important difference between him and The Dread Pirate Roberts was that Roberts’ reputation for effectiveness and ruthlessness were earned. Over the years, Kimberlin’s failures have resulted in him being downgraded from Dread to Deadbeat.