Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Here’s a status update on some of the members of Team Kimberlin.

Dread Pirate Brett Kimberlin is considering what happens when the consequences of one’s old lies catch up with one.

First Mate Neal Rauhauser is being kept away from any navigation duties until he can tell the difference between Norway and Sweden on a map.

Crew Member Ron Brynaert is keeping a low profile.

Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt is still trying to achieve journeyman status as a Twitter troll with his new handle @KUeatsboogers.

Imaginary Friend Occupy Rebellion admits to being a troll but not to being a real person.

And a new person has joined the crew—

Ship’s Troubadour Craig Gillette has been working photo recon and searching for CPAC maggots to snap pictures of.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Yesterday, I explained the origin of the title The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. Here’s a repost of the original listing of his crew from last November—Brett Kimberlin’s Ship of Fools.  Note that the relative importance of some characters has changed.


The Dread Pirate Kimberlin—(AKA Brett Kimberlin, The Speedway Bomber, John Doe 1, Breitbart Unmasked) A Director of and sole full-time employee of Justice Through Music Project and unpaid employee of Velvet Revolution US. Convicted felon with a rap sheet too long for this space. Apparently not a registered voter. [A correction about Kimberlin’s status as a registered voter was published after he doxed himself in a court filing and I was able to determine his date of birth. I regret the original error.]

His Crew

First Mate Neal Rauhauser—Tragically-failed wind-powered ammonia plant entrepreneur. Hacker wannabe. Democratic Party operative. Deadbeat dad. [And he may already be a Weiner.]
Crew Member Ron Brynaert—Erstwhile reporter. Possible SWATting suspect. Potential mutineer.
Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt—(AKA Liberal Grouch) Minor, if somewhat grandiose, Twitter troll and selective blogger of sealed court papers. [Recently promoted to major nuisance.]
Imaginary Friend Occupy Rebellion—(AKA Sheridan) Twitter sock puppet.

His Enablers

Jeffrey R. Cohen, Esq.—Intellectual property lawyer and Executive Director of JTMP and VRUS. His signature is on their IRS Form 990s.
Brad Friedman—A Director of Velvet Revolution US.
Myra Lowenthal, CPA—Accountant who prepared the IRS Form 990s for JTMP and VRUS.

Assorted fanboys, wannabes, third- and fourth-rate musicians, trolls, useful idiots, and fools.

Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin: Year in Review 7

As 2012 has been winding down, we’ve been looking at how the year has gone in TDPK legal cases that reached closure. The summary is a batting average of .000.

TDPK has had help with his shenanigans, first, from his crew, the members of Team Kimberlin, and, second, from a group of enablers. His crew have been a particular help on the Internet. First Mate Neal Rauhauser fancies himself a master of Internet skullduggery. Actually, he’s merely a hacker wannabe who seems to engage mostly in sock puppetry and crude identity theft. He is pretty good at social engineering with some kinds of people. Barrett Brown, for example. FMNR is one of the codefendants in the Virginia Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit. He spent the year dodging service on the suit while writing blog posts about it. The only time I saw him in court was when he accompanied TDPK to the 5 July peace order trial. My esteemed colleague Stacy McCain believes that FMNR was the writer of the Breitbart Unmasked blog until Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt took over.

Crew Member Ron Brynaert is the other et al. defendant in that Virginia lawsuit. He has kept a relatively low profile through the year, at times, trying to disassociate himself with other crew members. One wonders if he might be the first mutineer.

Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt, OTOH, has become a gung ho member. Since taking over Breitbart Unmasked, he has become Team Kimberlin’s public, um, … I guess mouthpiece is the best word, although that seems to be the wrong bodily orifice. He has childishly tried to bait those of us who have written about TDPK and, occasionally, stepped over the line to really threatening behavior. Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, and Lee Stranahan have all been on the receiving in of his cyberstalking. I have merely been the target of obnoxious and obscene tweets on Twitter. While he reminds some folks of a Jabba the Hutt wannabe, I see CBBS as more like Signor Ugarte in Casablanca.

Ugarte: You despise me, don’t you?
Rick Blaine: I probably would if I gave you any thought.

Imaginary Friend Occupy Rebellion (aka Sheridan) is the Twitter account of an allegedly female TDPK groupie. I believe that the account is a sock puppet and blocked it as soon as I began receiving obscene tweets. As of this posting, the account’s tweets are private.

In addition to the members of his crew, TDPK has a group of enablers.

Jeffery R. Cohen, Esq., is the Executive Director the two Kimberlin “charities.” I note with some interest that the SWATting threat I received came as a comment to a post about Mr. Cohen and his relationship to TDPK via the “charities.”

Brad Friedman is listed as one of the Directors of Velvet Revolution US, the 501(c)4 “charity.”

Kevin Zeese, Esq., is listed on several pages of the VRUS website as a Director of the organization. He is not listed as such on any of their legal filings. Mr. Zeese has filed several frivolous bar complaints against such individuals as Associate Justice Clarence Thomas on behalf of VRUS. During 2012, he sent a letter on behalf of VRUS to the National Bloggers Club demanding that they preserve certain documents. He is also a former Green Party candidate for U. S. Senator in Maryland.

Myra Lowenthal, CPA, is the accountant who prepared and signed the IRS Form 990 submitted through 2010 for Justice Through Music Project and Velvet Revolution US.

I’ve been writing about TDPK since late May. Like  PattericoStacy McCain, and others, I’m committed to writing true things about the activities of Team Kimberlin. As Patrick Frey says, unlike those bozos, I have a life apart from the Internet. Cyberstalking won’t deflect me. Childish tweets won’t deter me. During 2013, you can expect me to continue posting . One day, when I choose to do so, when I feel the time is ripe, I will begin posting some of the more, shall we say, “interesting,” information that the Vast Hogewash Research Organization has uncovered.

It won’t be pretty, but it will be true.

Meanwhile, we have one more day left in 2012. On New Year’s Eve, I’ll present an updated version of the most popular TDPK post of the year. Stay tuned.

A Very Mixed Day

It was very disappointing to hear Judge Potter dismiss the Virginia Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit. I’m sure that if the Gentle Reader wishes to hear the celebratory crowing from Team Kimberlin, he can find it on Twitter or one of the websites associated with them.

Let me do a stream of consciousness brain dump on the day. Some of this will duplicate information found at The Other McCain.

1. The judge appeared to be reading from a prepared order which seemed too long to have been written during the recess he took between hearing the oral arguments and ruling. The Gentle Reader is left to draw his own conclusion.

2. There were a couple of people in the courtroom that I could not identify. One was a well-dressed fellow who seem to be a lawyer—perhaps an associate of Jeff Cohen’s firm observing the hearing? The other was a rather rough looking fellow who sat on the back row—muscle?

3. I had a chance to interview both Aaron Walker and Dan Backer after the hearing. While they haven’t formulated their exact response, an appeal or a motion to reconsider are possibilities. Furthermore, the two Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. suits are not the only arrows in the quiver. They might be merely an opening salvo. Some of those possibilities are very interesting.

4. I wound up having lunch with Stacy McCain and Wombat-socho. This was the first time that I’ve met either of them. Wombat’s an impressive guy; he reminded me of the closing lines of the Ogden Nash poem The Wombat:

But I would not engage the wombat
In any form of mortal combat.

5. TDPK has won round one and round two, but the match isn’t over yet. He and his crew need to be brought to justice.

6. Now that I’ve had a chance to size up Stacy McCain, I’d like to echo the warning that Glen Reynolds made about not trying to out-crazy Mr. McCain. Team Kimberlin should not expect to be able to divert him from relentlessly blogging about their mischief.

7. Similarly, they should not expect Hogewash! to let go either. While I consider myself simply to be pigheaded, I have been described as having weapons-grade persistence. I have turned the Vast Hogewash Research Organization loose on Team Kimberlin. The data is rolling in, and, as it becomes useful in bringing the truth to light, it will be published. You can also expect that I won’t tell everything as soon as I know it. Somethings need to wait until the time is ripe.

8. Some material published about me has been blatantly defamatory. I have not responded. Yet. I believe that making corrections and offering apologies for errors is a wise policy.

Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin and Sanctions

The Dread Pirate Kimberlin has unsuccessfully sought sanctions against Dan Backer, Aaron Walker’s lawyer, in both the federal and Virginia Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuits. At 10 am this morning, the shoe will be on the other foot. One of the multiple motions to be heard by Judge Potter today is a sanctions motion against TDPK. Sanctions are being sought on four grounds.

The first is the publication of sealed discovery documents. Discovery was sealed because TDPK complained about material leaking onto the Internet and being used to mock him. <mockery>I note that he has used posts from Hogewash! to show how he was being mocked.</mockery> The relief sought in the (Amended) Motion for Sanctions is this:

10. Plaintiff Walker prays this Court hold Defendant Kimberlin in contempt for his willful, purposeful, and blatant violations of this Court’s October 5 Order.

The second is for failing to obey the court’s order to provided the discovery materials sought by Mr. Walker.

19. Plaintiff seeks Attorney’s fees caused by the failure of Defendant Kimberlin to obey the September 14 Order.

20. Plaintiff Walker seeks an order striking out Defendant Kimberlin’s pleadings until the September 14 Order is obeyed in good faith, particularly Defendant Kimberlin’s Motion for Protective Order to Stay Discovery and Motion to Dismiss, which where hand delivered to Counsel on October 5, 2012.

21. Treating Defendant Kimberlin’s actions as contempt of court if he has still refused to fully and faithfully comply with the September 14 Order after the December 4 hearing.

The third count concerns practicing law without a license. While it is perfectly legal for TDPK to represent himself, he isn’t a member of the bar in Virginia and cannnot represent his codefendants.

29. Plaintiff seeks Attorney’s fees caused by bringing to the Court’s attention Defendant Kimberlin’s unlicensed practice of law.

30. Plaintiff requests this Court bar Defendant Kimberlin from defending anyone’s legal interests in this matter other than his own. …

31. Refer Defendant Kimberlin to the proper authorities for misdemeanor charges should he continue to represent his co-defendants.

The fourth count is for filing frivolous motions littered with irrelevant material for improper purposes.

44. Plaintiff seeks Attorney’s fees caused by Defendant Kimbelin’s violation of Va. Code Ann. § 8.01-271.1

45. An Order from this Court directing Defendant Kimberlin to tether his factual assertions, legal arguments, and exhibits to the issue at hand and refrain from including superfluous, immaterial, and irrelevant material related to Counsel or Plaintiff.

Whew. This one motion would make for an interesting hearing, but there’s several more. TDPK has the two motioned mentions above before the court, and Aaron Walker has default motions against the et al. defendants, First Mate Neal Rauhauser and Crew Member Ron Brynaert. It could be a long day in Manassas. It’s a shame they won’t allow popcorn in the courtroom.

popcorn4bkIt’s a two hour drive from Westminster to Manassas, so I’ll be leaving before Oh-Dark-Thirty. I’ll check in on my way into the Court House. I won’t be able to take my iPad or iPhone in to the building, but I’ll head back to my car for them as soon as there’s something to report.

Stay tuned.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, …

Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin v. The Rules, Part Deux

As I’ve mentioned before, The Dread Pirate Kimberlin’s court filings are so chocked full of stuff and nonsense as to be a marvelously target-rich environment for fisking and mockery. Here’s yet another gem from Defendant Kimberlin’s Response to Plaintiff’s Motion for Sanctions in the Virginia Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. civil suit:


Defendant is a pro se litigant and cannot be held to the stringent standards expected of attorneys. Pro se litigant’s court submissions are to be construed liberally and held to less stringent standards than submissions of lawyers.

And he goes on to cite a bunch of federal case law to that effect. TDPK thus runs aground on the shoals separating the federal courts from those of the several states. The standard he cites does not apply in state matters in Virginia. Indeed, in a recent opinion, the Attorney General of Virginia wrote:

Section 8.01-271.1 provides that the signature of an attorney or party on a pleading constitutes a certification that

(i) he has read the pleading, motion or other paper, (ii) to the best of his knowledge, information and belief, formed after reasonable inquiry, it is well grounded in fact and is warranted by existing law or a good faith argument for the extension, modification, or reversal of existing law, and (iii) it is not interposed for an improper purpose, such as to harass or to cause unnecessary delay or needless increase in the cost of litigation.

If a pleading is signed in violation of these provisions, a court is authorized to impose “an appropriate sanction.”

To the extent that a party, an attorney or a pro se litigant engages in conduct worthy of contempt in the presence of the court, the court may sanction such conduct.

The net of all that is that if a pro se litigant signs a court filing in Virginia, the Virginia judiciary is supposed to hold him just as responsible a licensed lawyer for the correctness of the filing.</fisking>

Judge Potter has been patient with TDPK’s pro se shenanigans. He has bent over backwards to give him and the et al. defendants (First Mate Neal Rauhauser and Crew Member Ron Brynaert) second chances to meet their obligations.

<mockery>It’s one thing for a non-lawyer to make a few technical errors and expect a judge to cut him some slack. It’s something quite different to repeatedly file nonsensical motions and responses and such that have no basis in either the facts or the law and still expect patience from the bench.</mockery>

popcorn4bkTomorrow, we will see how Judge Potter rules when he has the evidence before him. I plan on being in the courtroom for the multi-motions hearing and to blog the results as they become available.

Stay tuned.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, …

UPDATE–As I write this update, the post is less 45 minutes old, and Mr. Down-Twinkles has already expressed his disapproval of comparing TDPK’s understanding of the law with that of the Commonwealth Attorney General.

Dread Pirate #BrettKimberlin 101

If you’re just coming in on the Saga of The Dread Pirate Kimberlin, it can be confusing to try to sort out an honest version on the narrative. Stacy McCain has a good summary posted.

Read the whole thing.