Legal LULZ Du Jour

The Cabin Boy™ had a Feldtdown on the Twitterz this afternoon. It seemed to have something to do with the VA freezing his bank account as a the result of an investigation of an allegedly fraudulent claim. Schmalfeldt seems to think that the VA is going to identify the person who filed the complaint.I wouldn’t bet on the Cabin Boy finding out who complained to VA. Most such complaints are made anonymously, and according the VA Inspector General’s website, the VA is prohibited by 5 U.S.C. 552a from divulging the name of the complainant to the person who is the subject of the complaint.

It would be very unusual for the VA to resort to a bank levy without first contacting the person who they believed had been overpaid or paid in error. Yet, the Cabin Boy™ seems to have been surprised by his account being frozen.


UPDATE—This post seems to have spurred Feldtdown 2.0 during which the Cabin Boy™ now says that his bank account wasn’t frozen. If it wasn’t frozen, why did he need to contact his bank? Doesn’t he have a copy of his account number? It’s printed on his checks. It’s printed on his account statements.

Further, why would the VA need his bank account number? Whenever I’ve dealt with the VA, they’ve IDed me though my Social Security Number.


UPDATE 2—And the UPDATE triggered Feldtdown 3.0 in which the Cabin Boy™ offered a theoretical example of contacting NASA with false information about me. After having cooperated with the NASA IG and NASA Facilities Protection Division on investigations resulting from false complaints made about me, I’ll simply say that the information from the VA IG that I cited above is consistent with my experience.

I’ll also note that it would be most unwise for the person or persons who made false complaints about me in 2014 and 2015 to ever do so again.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

As I noted yesterday, The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s informal opening brief for his appeal of the Kimberlin v. Frey RICO Remnant LOLsuit is due to the Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit by close of business today. We’ll see if he makes it. While we wait, I’ve republished the series of posts from four years ago today that dealt with Bill Schmalfeldt’s motion to modify the first peace order issued against him. That running account of the Cabin Boy’s™ follies, beginning with the day’s TKPOTD, is below the fold. Continue reading

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Yep. We’re still waiting for news from the pending Team-Kimberlin-related court cases, so here’s another example of false reporting by the Cabin Boy™ caused by his limited understanding of how the Internet really works. This was originally published as a Prevarication Du Jour on 13 October, 2015.

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The Cabin Boy™ has posted what he claims to be the text of an unsolicited comment he allegedly received to one of his posts. He says that he believes that the comment is from [redacted] in Manassas, Virginia. He claims to have traced the IP address back to a cell tower near where [redacted] lives, and he provides a map with the location of the cell tower shown.

According to the several utility databases, there is a cell tower within a few dozen feet of the location shown. However, according to the FCC, [redacted]’s cellular provider is not on that tower. Moreover, why would [redacted] use his cellular connection if he were at home. Even he were using his phone instead of a computer, he would more likely use a the wi-fi connection into his landline cable provider to avoid data charges and for higher speed.

This leaves several possibilities. One is that one of the Cabin Boy™ “friends” is pranking him. Another is that the whole thing is a lie. Or perhaps it’s something else.

UPDATE—I’ve just verified how IP addressing works for mobile devices. The IP address seen by the Internet looking back at a mobile device is actually the address of a server at the cellular ISPs point-of-presence. For example, my portable wi-fi hotspot is sitting on our kitchen table in Westminster, Maryland, and I can see the lights on the carrier’s tower out the living room window, but the IP address associated with it on the Internet is in Arlington, Virginia.

pantsonfireIn order to determine the address of a connection all the way back to a cell tower, one needs to go through the carrier’s internal connection logs. That requires a subpoena. How many of you think that the Cabin Boy™ was able to get a subpoena for information sent this afternoon, serve the subpoena, and get the response from [redacted]’s cell phone carrier in a matter of a few hours? For that matter, how many think he could get such a subpoena in the first place?

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And the Cabin Boy™ thinks that he’s going to be able to use the discovery process in his LOLsuit VIII to force ISP and the like to disgorge all sorts of information about the IP address and that hie can use them to identify more of his perceived enemies. Even more silly, he thinks LOLsuit VIII will survive long enough to allow for any discovery.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

There’s still no news about the pending Team-Kimberlin-related court cases, so here’s another recycled post. This was the Prevarication Du Jour from four years ago today. The Cabin Boy’s tweet refers to The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s first LOLsuit, Kimberlin v. Walker, et al., and is an example of Schmalfeldt’s making stuff up as he goes along with no connection to Reality.

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ftrrnews201310111937ZCutting my own deal am I? Well, Gentle Reader, I did offer Brett Kimberlin a cheap way out of his Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. lawsuit. He opted not to settle, so my lawyer has filed an answer to his complaint.

I have no intention of conducting my defense of the suit on the Internet, but items filed as part of the court docket become public documents unless they are sealed. Since anyone who goes to the courthouse can get a copy of a docket item for fifty cents per page and since the truth is on my side, I will, at least for the time being, post my filings to save folks the trip. I’ll delay the postings to allow time for any other party to receive service before anything appears online.

I do not plan to have any comments on filings when I post them. To do so could give away information on my counsel’s legal strategy which would be useful to the other side.

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Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, and I worked closely together and our pro bono counsel and beat Kimberlin. Five of his seven claims were thrown out on summary judgment. That meant that even if everything Kimberlin had alleged in them had been true, we were still entitled to win as a matter of law. We were granted a directed verdict on the other claims, because TDPK failed to present any evidence to support them.

Throughout the case, everything proceeded as I had foreseen, especially the Cabin Boy’s™ repeatedly making a fool of himself with his reporting on the lawsuit.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The wheels of justice are still grinding away. As we wait for more news in the Team-Kimberlin-related court cases, here’s another golden oldie. It was the Prevarication Du Jour published four year ago today.

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I have all sorts of interesting things posted at Today, someone tweeted a link to the charging documents in the recent Maryland v. Kimberlin case. There is a notation in the complaint’s handwriting at the end of the Application for Statement of Charges, and, of course, the Cabin Boy had to offer a comment.ftrrnews201310102213Z

Aaron Walker’s handwriting? No way; the addendum is legible.

Here’s a sample of Aaron Walker’s writing from an Application for Statement of Charges he filed in 2012—AWhandwrittingHere’s a sample of the writing on the 2013 Application for Statement of Charges—TKhandwritting

Note, among other differences, the almost random slant to the letters in the first sample and the even forward slant in the second. No, the writing on the two Applications is by two different people.


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The Cabin Boy™ has rarely been one to let the facts get in the way of his hallucinations.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Here’s another recycled post for the Gentle Reader to savor as we wait for news of the pending court cases related to Team Kimberlin. This one, originally posted under the title 24, is from four years ago today. It deals with the Cabin Boy’s™ bluster concerning the then upcoming hearing on his motion to modify the first peace order issued against him.

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Bill Schmalfeldt says that he has found 24 instances of perjury in the Answer my lawyer filed to his Motion to Modify Peace Order and that he is looking forward to getting me on the stand during the upcoming hearing on his motion. I’ve been scratching my head and trying to find anything erroneous in the answer. Certainly, there’s no perjury. But if the Cabin Boy wants to come up to Westminster and talk about it in front of the judge on the 16th, that’s his right.

For my part, I promise to look him in the eye and to try not to laugh as he makes my case for me.

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If the Cabin Boy™ really believed that he had caught me lying to the court, he should have grilled me on the stand about it, during the hearing, he never asked me any questions related to the opposition my lawyer filed to his motion. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

BTW, his motion was denied, and I just barely managed to keep my promise not to laugh at him in front of the judge.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

There’s still no news from the pending Team-Kimberlin-releated court cases, so here’s another recycle post. This one’s from four years ago today and deals with a silly YouTube video Bill Schmalfeldt posted. The original post was titled Hogeman: Internet Astronomer. The links to the Cabin Boy’s™ original material are broken because he has sent them down the memory hole.

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Come on in out of the corn starch, order yourself a pizza to go (hold the anchovies), and enjoy this worked example of discrediting Bill Schmalfeldt by quoting Bill Schmalfeldt.

[broken link to YouTube]

(H/T, Frankie) Note: If your browser has trouble with the audio on the YouTube file, click [broken link to SoundCloud].

You know, I probably shouldn’t have done this post. It will wind up increasing the exposure of that clip more than tenfold.

LibrauraniaBTW, Res judicata will be one of the principles that Justice will use when weighing in her scales the competing claims about the Cabin Boy’s motion to modify the peace order issued against him. Libra(The Scales) is one of the twelve constellations of the Zodiac.

The sun begins its transit of Libra on 16 October. Perhaps Bill Schmalfeldt should carefully check his horoscope before he comes to court that day.

UPDATE—The makers of Luciners Castor Oil Flakes and Fantastic Cigarettes, Luciners for the smile of Beauty, Fantastics for the smile of success, have brought you the transcribed Adventures of Nick Danger, Third Eye Hogeman: Internet Astronomer. Tune in again next week, same time, same station, when Nick Danger Hogeman meets the Arab The Fat Man.

UPDATE 2—Well, I looks as if the Cabin Boy no longer wishes to share his wit with us.

UPDATE 3—Schmalfeldt’s intro to his Hogeman: Internet Astronomer piece contained a statement that it was in the vein of such Firesign Theatre works as Nick Danger: Third Eye. That’s the reason for all of the allusions to Nick Danger in this post. Those of you who wish to hear more of the Schmalfeldt’s audio drama are stuck waiting for the Cabin Boy or someone like him.

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After four years, it may be time for the Cabin Boy™ to peel open a can of Bear Whiz beer from off his top shelf and contemplate the fact that everything he knows is wrong.

UPDATE—Yep, everything he knows is wrong.How I came to know the correct spelling is a story for which the world is not yet prepared, but I will note that Mrs. Hoge worked for The Firesign Theatre for a brief period while we lived in Southern California. Most of the unofficial Nick Danger scripts out on the Interwebz misspell the brand of the cereal Loosners, but a part of the real joke in the script is the use of Luciner, a real surname. It’s a pun.

The Cabin Boy’s™ talent for transcription doesn’t seem to be any better than Dr. Flotsam’s.