MUSIC: Theme. Intro and fade under.
NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear could be true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
MUSIC: Up, then under …
NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. You’ve been investigating a notorious gang of cyberbullies, but it’s time to take a day off. Your job … sing it.
MUSIC: Up and out.
PRODUCER: (Over talkback speaker) OK, guy’s let’s do it for a take.
MUSIC: When a Felon’s Not Engaged in His Employment
FRIDAY: When a felon’s not engaged in his employment …
CHORUS: His employment
FRIDAY: Or maturing his felonious little plans,
CHORUS: Little plans
FRIDAY: His capacity for innocent enjoyment …
CHORUS: ‘Cent enjoyment
FRIDAY: Is just as great as any other man’s.
CHORUS: Other man’s
MUSIC: Under
SHERIFF: (Voice over music) There are no more posts planned for the next 24 hours concerning Team Kimberlin. Even an avowed atheist with no one to be thankful to deserves a quiet and peaceful Thanksgiving Day. There will be more days ahead during which we can consider the Saga, so a day off is in order.
MUSIC: Up and out
ANNOUNCER: This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!