Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Dread Deadbeat Pretender Kimberlin clearly wants to be a player, but everything he tries seems to wind up being a bust hand. Big time drug smuggling—failure. Serial bombing spree—failure. Claiming to be a politician’s drug dealer—failure. Pro-se lawfare—failure. The following ran as the TKPOTD three years ago today. It deals with one of his many errors during his lawfare and Team Kimberlin’s general incompetence in gathering information to support their false narratives.

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Here’s a marvelous bit of nonsense from The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s omnibus opposition to most of the motions to dismiss his Kimberlin v. Team Themis, et al. RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. It compares the defendants to James Bond and the Mafia.ECF 74-p2

Talk about projection! It’s Team Kimberlin that thinks they’re Internet super spies sleuthing out information on nefarious Right Wing Nut Jobs. Of course, they’re something quite different in reality.

The Gentle Reader may remember some of the Cabin Boy’s™ epic failures as an investigator. This past spring, he went on and on about discovering a soooper sekrit zombie website, but the site turned out to be a honeypot, and his reaction to it yielded information useful to the defendants in Schmalfeldt’s various bogus lawsuits. He got suckered again by the zombies just a few days ago.

Bunny Boy and the other hangers on at Breitbart Unmasked are moderately less clumsy, but managed to join with the Cabin Boy™ flailing around in the search for the original Kimberlin Unmasked. At one time or another, the original KU was positively identified as Aaron Walker, Jeff Dunetz, Dan Collins, Dustyn Hughes, Patrick Frey, Kender MacGowan, me, and several others. Accuracy and strong investigative skills are not BU‘s strong suits.

popcorn4bkTeam Kimberlin’s inability to gather data from open sources and their incompetence in penetrating only moderately secure online systems is clearly a source of frustration for TDPK. You can see that in the wildly inappropriate and staggeringly useless things he sought during discovery in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit and in the mind-numbingly wasteful discovery he’s pursuing in the RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit.

If I wasn’t having to deal with his nonsense as a defendant, I’d probably find it more amusing.

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Team Kimberlin isn’t doing any better in the realm of foreign intelligence either. The $9k spent on bogus documents that was the subject of reporting in 2017 aren’t the only … um … interesting things I may have to write about one day.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin is really just a collection of inept, untalented losers. Their efforts to spin false narratives to support their cause invariably wind up be sources of pointage, laughery, and mockification when confronted with the facts. This Prevarication Du Jour from four years ago today is a fairly typical example.

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@wmsdb201410080009ZThe Cabin Boy is almost correct—in one sense. The metaphorical beatdown that we administered to The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit was delivered without our having to bestir ourselves to put on a defense. All we had to do was let TDPK engaged in self-destruction.
Docket 235_236

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The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s level of desperation is summed up by his having to rely on the likes of Bill Schmalfeldt or Matt Osborne as his PR flacks.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, and six years ago today, I ran this post about Talking Like Dread Pirate #Brett Kimberlin.

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Arrrrgh! None of the rest of his crew were available for comment.

Bonus Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bunny Boy, aka Matt Osborne, aka 57F Osborne, is another one of the gang of failures who make up Team Kimberlin. This TKPOTD from four years ago today engages in pointage, laughery, and mockification at his expense.

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The most recent member of Team Kimberlin to be stuck with the job of editing Kimberlin’s propaganda website Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) is Matt Osborne. Since a principal duty of that gig seems to be helping Team Kimberlin dig even deeper holes for themselves in their lawfare, Bunny Boy has been assigned as the Team Kimberlin grave digger and is carried on the roster as 57F Osborne.

While I was reviewing the 50+ posts mentioning me over at Breitbart Unmasked, I found one from 3 September, 2013, that is a wonderful example of Osborne’s cocksure wrongheadedness. He called it We Are Criswell, and it made wildly inaccurate predictions about the lawsuit that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin had filed against Aaron Walker, Stacy McCain, Ali Akbar, Kimberlin Unmasked, and me in Montgomery County Circuit Court. Back in the ’50s, the real Amazing Criswell was a local TV huckster in LA who sold “Criswell’s Family Vitamins” on infomercials during which he claimed to be a psychic. He was best known for his wildly inaccurate predictions. However, the real Criswell, who occasionally got something right, had a much better record than Osborne—who got everything wrong.

My codefendants and I did not wind up facing “numerous lawsuits in the months to come.” TDPK has tried for a second bite of the apple with his RICO Madness, but that is now looking to be an even bigger disaster for him.

We haven’t had our “asses hauled before a judge and jury to examine their fund raising frauds, tax violations, schemes, and scams.” TDPK hasn’t alleged any tax violations in either suit, and he has been unable to show any of the elements of fraud in either case.

When the case did come to court, we didn’t “lose because they have given Mr. Kimberlin more than enough evidence to prove malice.” TDPK was way short of enough evidence; indeed, the judge told him that he essentially had none.

OTOH, 57F Osborne assuming the Criswell personality for his predictions makes some ironic sense when one considers that The Amazing Criswell is probably best known for his appearance in the worst movie ever made, Plan 9 from Outer Space.

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Hogewash! took another poke at Bunny Boy a bit later that very same day with an I’m Not Making This Up, You Know post.

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Bunny Boy has a headline story over at Breitbart Unmasked about a young criminal being caught with IEDs. (No, I won’t link to it.)

Apparently, Brett Kimberlin was unavailable for comment.

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In a way, it makes sense that a failed historian would be a failed prognosticator.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin is predictably vain and stupidly so. The Gentle Reader may remember that Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Brett Unread has be quiet for the past three months. The Dread Deadbeat Publisher Kimberlin has been unable to find the time to deal with any of that unimportant news that’s been cluttering the Interwebz since mid April. But yesterday, a story too important to ignore hit.

After TDPK’s hearing about the Maryland Court of Appeals decision in the Walker v. Maryland, et al. case, a story (No, I won’t link to it.) was hurriedly published at BU. Of course, the post is a mostly inaccurate representation of what has happened, but it’s the comments following the post that are the real hoot with their silly disconnection from reality. I particularly enjoyed this one:LMAO! It’s almost as if they run that site for the sole purpose of being the objects of pointage, laughery, and mockification.

The Dread Deadbeat Pirate/Pro-Se/Publisher/Perofrmer/Prevaricator/Pedo Kimberlin and his crew should have cut there losses and quit. I’m not through with them yet.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


While we’re waiting for the Maryland Court of Special Appeals to rule in Aaron Walker’s appeal in the Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit, I’ve been recycling Team Kimberlin related post on most days. The recycled post are generally from the same date one, two, three, four, five, or six years before. Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of the first court hearing in matters related to the Kimberlins’ marital difficulties, and I choose to run a different post. Hogewash! isn’t a checkout aisle tabloid, and I avoid such topics unless they are absolutely necessary to properly tell a story about something else. Today’s recycled post from 10 July, 2013, mentions the Kimberlins’ difficulties tangentially.

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It has been noised about on the Interwebs that I celebrate adultery or that this blog does. That is not true.

I take what God says about it seriously. I don’t encourage it. I don’t support it. I don’t celebrate it.

I also rarely talk or write about it. This blog isn’t about tabloid journalism. Adultery happens and is sometimes a driving factor in a story, but adultery per se is not a focus of this blog.

UPDATE—An anonymous coward from Team Kimberlin wishes to preach to me:TK20130710aYes, my son is overweight. The problem stems from a side effect of a drug he was taking for serious medical condition. He is now on a different regimen and has lost a significant amount of weight.

The anonymous coward preaches on …
TK20130710bHaughty eyes. Would that be like assuming you’re enough smarter than the average bear so that getting caught is simply bad luck?

A lying tongue. Is that kinda like perjury?

Hands that shed innocent blood. Could that blood come from a man’s leg after it had been blown off by a hidden time bomb?

A heart that devises wicked plans. Like smuggling contraband drugs, or plotting murder of a prosecutor, or lying about selling drugs to a political candidate, or … ?

Feet that make haste to run to evil. Like a recurring habit of stalking one’s critics and enemies?

A witness who breathes out lies. Like a guy who testifies that he did not engage in behavior for which there is clear documentation that he did?

One who sows discord among brothers. Like someone who falsely accuses his wife of mental illness in front of her children?

No, I haven’t forgotten that passage from Proverbs, and I think that it tells us a great deal about God’s sense of justice.

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A stone is heavy,
and sand is a burden;
but a fool’s provocation is heavier than both.
—Proverbs 27:3

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Three years ago, Karoli Kuns joined in Team Kimberlin’s effort to spin a false narrative about me and my interactions with Bill Schmalfeldt. That resulted in a chain of posts three years ago today that began with this one.

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I see that Karoli Kuns has a long piece up at Crooks and Liars. Clearly, it was not subjected to fact checking. Consider this typical paragraph which I will fisk:

To a large extent, it succeeded. Hoge filed numerous requests for peace orders which were routinely rejected by the Court. [I filed two.] After they were denied, Hoge appealed. [Only the first one.] Finally, Hoge scored on appeal and found a sympathetic ear in Judge Thomas Stansfield of Carroll County, who had no experience with online social networks or blogs. Judge Stansfield granted Hoge his peace order under Maryland’s domestic violence laws. [No. The peace order was granted under a Courts & Judicial Procedures statute. Protective orders, which are not the same thing, are granted under a Family Law article.] Schmalfeldt was ordered not to contact Hoge at work [No. The order does not mention my workplace because I was retired at the time it was issued.] or contact him by phone. (None of these things had ever happened or could happen because Schmalfeldt does not have the physical ability or desire to visit Hoge anywhere at any time.) He was also barred from contacting Hoge via email. [He is prohibited from contacting (by any means), attempting to contact, or harassing me.]

I’ve been told that accuracy in reporting has never been Karoli’s strong suit. After reading stuff like this, I’m inclined to believe that characterization.

She is no more accurate in her description of the state of the law in Maryland.

But Maryland also needs to evaluate how they’ve structured their peace order process. A simple refinement to the law which limited peace order requests to those where there was an established domestic relationship or closer physical proximity would have eliminated this problem and ended a lot of stress and aggravation for Schmalfeldt. As it stands now, any Maryland citizen can invent the idea that a criminal act has been committed against them online, take that idea to the courthouse and turn it into a peace order. This entraps people in a litigation net who do not belong there while depriving them of the same protections other citizens receive.

In fact, Maryland has two different procedures for dealing with conflicts outside of the criminal justice system. The first, Protective Orders, deals conflicts between family members or domestic partners. This is what Brett Kimberlin sought to use against his wife, unsuccessfully in the end.

The second, Peace Orders, deals with conflict between non-related parties. To obtain a peace order, one must prove (to the “clear and convincing” standard) to a judge during an adversarial hearing that one is the victim of one or more of a specified list of crimes. In my case against Schmalfeldt that was harassment. Harassment via the Internet is harassment. There is not an exception because blogs or Twitter were used.

I am not amused by this either.

sir robin shieldUPDATE—Karoli has taken down comments to her post that relate to the actual facts of the situation with Bill Schmalfeldt, and she has announce that she will not permit any more such comments. She claims that her post is really about how screwed up Maryland’s laws are. If they were as she describes them, I would probably agree. However, she does not correctly describe Maryland’s Peace Order stature or how it works.

Not only does she have her facts wrong, she has her facts about the law wrong.

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That post prompted Matt Osborne to butt in and me to post this in response to him.

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Matt Osborne attempted to comment here at Hogewash!:MO201404271221ZI did and found these questions which I present with my answers.OsborneEmailWhy do I get the feeling that this is not a benign inquiry?

UPDATE—MO201404271300ZSome questions are so nonsensical that they do not deserve an answer, but I’ll make an exception for this one.

What Matt Osborne is lamely trying to do is appeal to everyone’s inherent sense of justice. Human beings are wired to favor fairness, and, of course, it would be unfair for me to engage in sadistic harassment. One of the problems with the question is its being based on the false premise that I am the harasser in the Hoge/Schmalfeldt interaction.

There is an important theological problem with Osborne’s question as well, and I intend to deal with it in a longer post later today.

Stay tuned.

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And I wrote about that theological problem in this post called On Justice.

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“No fair!”

Every one of us has said it beginning from the time we were small children. Human beings seem to be wired with a predisposition to fairness. Indeed, evolutionary psychologists like Jonathan Haidt believe that the moral sense of fairness is a universal human trait. Outrage is a normal, heathy response to unfair treatment. We want the world to be set to rights. We want justice in what seems to be an unjust world.

As a Christian, I believe that the source of justice is God. It says in Genesis that we were created in His image, so it makes sense to me that more we allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirit to be what God intends for us to be, the more we would desire justice. Sometimes Christians are called to deal with the grander problems of the world—think of William Wilberforce, Desmond Tutu, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and Martin Luther King, Jr.—but, most of the the time, most of us deal with the seemingly smaller injustices of the world. Sometimes a Christian is called to stand up to a bully.

Bill Schmalfeldt is a such a bully. For years, he has harassed others on the Internet, and no one was able to bring him to justice. That task seems to have fallen to me.

Schmalfeldt’s surprised reaction has been to whine, “No fair! You hit me back.” However, even that’s not strictly true. I haven’t taken personal revenge on him. I’ve reported him to the proper authorities and left any action taken to them.

The real question I face is not what Jesus thinks of my allegedly sadistic treatment of Bill Schmalfeldt. That question is based in the false premise that I am the sadist in the interactions between us. No, the real question is what Jesus would think of my failure to stand up a thug like Schmalffeldt who is bullying others.

Has my response to Schmalfeldt been perfect? Probably not. But my conscience is clear. It would not be if I had failed to step in between him and some of his victims.

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I’m not done with him yet.