Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Every once in a while, Team Kimberlin does something that provides a rich vein to mine for pointage, laughery, and mockification. The TKPOTD from five years ago dealt with it a post that Bunny Boy (aka Matt Osborne) published at Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Boy Unread that resulted in the first BLOGSMOKE episode and a multi-year feature here at Hogewash!.

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*snort* *giggle*

Xenophon (the Troll) makes a lame attempt at ironic humor over at Breitbart Unmasked with a post (No, I won’t link to it) trying to cast me as the Internet Sheriff of Twitter Town. It has a sort of Blogsmoke theme.

Here’s how we would have done it back when I was working in radio—

*****Blogsmoke

SOUND: HORSE MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Dodge City Twitter Town and in the territory out west of the net—there’s just one way to handle the killers harassers and the spoilers stalkers—and that’s with a U.S. Marshall an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “GUNSMOKE” “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “GUNSMOKE” “BLOGSMOKE” starring William Conrad W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the violence trolling that moved west with young America into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved with against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

MATT JOHN: I’m that man, Matt Dillon, United States Marshall John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3

SOUND: HOUSEHOLD BACKGROUND NOISE—PHONE RINGS OFF MIKE

WILL: (OFF MIKE) Dad! Telephone.

JOHN: I’ll get it in here.

SOUND: PHONE PICKED UP

JOHN: Hello?

LEE: (FILTERED) John, It’s Lee.

JOHN: Hey, Lee.

LEE: (FILTERED) I’m flying into BWI tomorrow evening to file charges against the Grouch. Can you give me a ride from the airport to the courthouse.

JOHN: Sure. When do you get in?

LEE: (FILTERED) Just after six.

JOHN: That works. BWI is on my way home from work. There’s a great place for crab cakes between the airport and where the District Court Commissioner’s night office is located. We’ll grab dinner on the way. Send me an email with the flight info.

LEE: (FILTERED) Thanks, John.

SOUND: PHONE HANGS UP—HOUSEHOLD BACKGROUND FADES

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4

SOUND: CAR ROLLING TO A STOP

PARKING GIRL: Three Dollars.

JOHN: Here you go.

PARKING GIRL: Need a receipt?

JOHN: No thanks.

SOUND: CAR ACCELERATES—ROAD NOISE SUSTAINS IN BACKGROUND

JOHN: So how do your wife and kids feel about this?

LEE: They’re tired of it. After a while, it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop.

JOHN: Yeah.

LEE: I can put up with a lot, but when he suggested that my wife be raped while I was away covering the convention …

JOHN: Uh, huh.

LEE: As if that weren’t enough … going on and on about the child we lost in childbirth … And saying that I was pimping my wife and daughter.

JOHN: Yeah. He’s scum. By the way, you see that trailer park on the right.

LEE: Yes.

JOHN: He’s in Number 71.

SOUND: ROAD NOISE FADES

ANNOUNCER: There’s a nip in the air these days as autumn moves toward winter. One good way to fight the chill is a Team Lickspittle sweatshirt or hoodie. Why not get yours today? Team Lickspittle sweatshirts and hoodies are just some of the trinkets you can waste your hard-earned cash on, stuff exclusively available at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle.

And now, back to our story.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5

COMMISSIONER: Raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm under penalty of perjury that statements contained herein are true to the best of your knowledge and belief.

LEE: I do.

COMMISSIONER: Sign and date all the pages please.

LEE: OK.

SOUND: PEN SCRATCHING

LEE: There.

COMMISSIONER: Thank you.

SOUND: FORMS BEING SEPARATED—STAPLER

COMMISSIONER: Here are your copies. Have a good evening.

LEE: Thanks. Good night.

JOHN: Well, that’s that. Let’s go.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES—FOOTSTEPS ACROSS PARKING LOT—TWO CAR DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE—CAR STARTS INTERIOR POV

JOHN: You can crash on our couch tonight.

LEE: Thanks, John.

JOHN: No problem. We’ll see how Howard County deals with this.

SOUND: CAR ACCELERATES AND ROAD NOISE FADES

MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) You know, cyberstalkers like the Grouch do real harm. Over the next week, he began to expand his attacks on bloggers—as we will see in the next episode of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT

ANNOUNCER: This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

*****

Amateurs. Pfft.

Stay tuned for Episode 2.

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And the pointage, laughery, and mockification continues.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Yesterday, I spent the morning listening to lawyers for a civil rights law clinic and a “constitutional advocacy” not-for-profit spin what seemed to be a set of false narratives in order to attack the civil rights of bloggers and other media people to freedom of speech and freedom of the press. I don’t have much patience with such behavior, especially after being on the receiving end of multiple LOLsuits from Team Kimberlin aimed at suppressing my free speech.

In my case, Team Kimberlin has not limited their false narratives to court filings. The TKPOTD from three years ago today dealt with one of their sillier attempts to smear me via a fictitious post at Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Unread.

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Most of the posts that have been memory-holed by Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Boy Unread are from the era when Bill Schmalfeldt was editor. Indeed, so much of the Cabin Boy’s™ work has been trashed, he’d be an unperson were it not for some of his recent comments to Bunny Boy’s posts.

OTOH, one can understand the embarrassment (and potential liabilities) that could stem from having posts like this on one’s website.BU20130415bombthreatThe post not only misrepresented Aaron Walker’s comment on the Boston Marathon Bombing, Team Kimberlin tried use the comment section to spin a tale connecting me to a bomb threat to a Carroll County courthouse. The following comment by “Texas Tim” took the post way over the top.

TexasTim
The Maryland/FBI Fusion Center is working overtime tonight and Aaron Walker and his patsy William Hoge would be naive to think that they are not getting a real hard look after what happened in Carroll County at 8:30 am this morning. Someone called the county saying that a bomb had been placed outside the Courthouse. This caused the District and Circuit courts to be evacuated and shut down for the entire day while bomb teams searched the area.

So what is making the Fusion Center focus on Walker and Hoge? Well, Hoge’s criminal charges against Rauhauser, Schmalfeldt and Kimberlin were scheduled to be dismissed at 9:00 am in that very Carroll County Courthouse. This, combined with Hoge/Walker’s recent attack on Howard County prosecutors, has some in the intel/LE community convinced that they are behind the bomb threat in order to get back at the Carroll County judges and prosecutors.

Walker and Hoge have a history of attacking anyone who does not agree with them, even for the smallest slight. Well, now that MO is coming back to haunt them.

And to think that Mr. Hoge was not even in the intel database a year ago…..

In fact, the Carroll County bomb threat was made by a Pennsylvania woman who had a court date for driving without a license. Carroll County Sheriff’s detectives quickly identified her, and she was arrested by police in Pennsylvania.

straight jacketAs bizarre as the Texas Tim comment seems, it’s really no more wacky that any of Brett Kimberlin’s other claims about Aaron Walker or me. According to his latest hallucinations, I’ve moved from being on that intelligence watch list to being an intelligence operative or contractor tasked with watching him.

I couldn’t make that kind of stuff up if I tried.

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Lying liars gotta lie.

And incompetent liars gotta get caught.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Throughout The Saga of Team Kimberlin, one common thread has been pointage, laughery, and mockification of The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s inept lawfare and his “reporters” (at sites such as Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Unread) ludicrous attempts to put a positive spin on those failed LOLsuits. Take the TKPOTD from three years ago as an example—

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Here’s another post that has been memory-holed over at Bretibart Unmasked Bunny Boy UnreadBU20121206wingnutsThe post celebrates the dismissal of the Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. suit filed in Virginia against The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin. Indeed, Kimberlin did win a couple of suits filed against him in 2012, but he lost everything he filed against anyone in 2012, and he’s lost everything else he’s filed that has been decided since then.

Kimberlin v. Walker (I) peace order petition—Denied

Kimberlin v. Walker (II) peace order petition—Denied

Kimberlin v. Norton peace order petition—Denied

Kimberlin v, Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit—Summary Judgment and Directed Verdict for Defendants Walker, McCain, Ali, and Hoge

Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club, et al. (I) RICO Madness LOLsuit—Dismissed against Defendants National Bloggers Club, Ali, McCain, Walker, Malkin, Twitchy, Erickson, RedState, Beck, Mercury Radio Arts, The Blaze, Nagy, Stranahan, Backer, DB Capitol Service, Breitbart, Ace of Spades, and Hoge and Partially Dismissed against Defendant Frey. Appeal to the Fourth Circuit—Denied

Kimberlin v. Hoge peace order petition—Denied

Kimberlin v. Home Depot—Dismissed

Kimberlin v. National Bloggers Club (II) RICO Retread LOLsuit—Dismissed against Defendants Breitbart, Malkin, Twitchy, Beck, Mercury Radio Arts, and The Blaze

Also, all the criminal charges that TDPK has tried for file against either Aaron Walker or me have been thrown out.

wingnutIt’s seems that we wingnuts who have been predicting the failure of Brett Kimberlin’s lawfare have a pretty good track record. Since 2012, he’s batting 0.000, and we’re batting 1.000. TDPK may get a few hits before the game gets called, but he’s still going to lose more that he wins going forward.

If I weren’t one of the targets of his lawfare, I might find this more amusing.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE—The scrapbook of more recent events would include this:

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All of the LOLsuit Kimberlin filed since that post was written have failed as well, as have The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s LOLsuits I through VIII and his peace order petition against Patrick Grady.

Losing losers gotta lose.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Matt Osborne (aka Bunny Boy, 57F Osborne) has spent a good deal of his time as a member of Team Kimberlin trying to sell various lies in support of Brett Kimberlin’s false narratives. After Kimberlin contacted Stacy McCain’s wife’s employer (a private boarding school) in 2012, Stacy felt is was necessary to move his family to a new, confidential location for their safety and the school’s. (The Gentle Reader should remember that this was during the period when Mike Stack, Patrick Frey, Erick Erickson, and Aaron Walker were SWATted.) Stacy asked for help with moving expenses, and many of his readers hit his tip jar. Team Kimberlin tried to spin that request for moving help as a scam, claiming that the McCain family had never moved. Even a year later, Bunny Boy was still trying to peddle that story. I pointed out his lie in this Prevarication Du Jour that ran five years ago today.

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Matt Osborne is still trying to peddle the lie that Stacy McCain lives on a private school compound in Hagerstown, Maryland. This is from a post over at his Osborne Ink site (No, I won’t link to it.).OsborneInk 20131024I have been to Stacy McCain’s house. It is not in Maryland. Period.

Stacy really did move his family from Hagerstown almost a year-and-a-half ago. I was one of the people who contributed money to help with the move. Neither I nor any of the other donors who hit his tip jar to help with the move was defrauded, the bogus scenario spun by Team Kimberlin not withstanding.

Fail.

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The place Stacy initially found was really too small for his family, so he has since moved on to another undisclosed location.

BTW, the fact that The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin was never able to serve court papers on Stacy at his old address should have been a clue that he had moved. Also, TDPK’s continued insistence that Stacy lived in Maryland was one of the reason his RICO Madness LOLsuit was dismissed. This is from Judge Hazel’s Order dismissing the case–

Nothing proceeds as Team Kimberlin hallucinates.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The Dread Deadbeat Pretender Kimberlin clearly wants to be a player, but everything he tries seems to wind up being a bust hand. Big time drug smuggling—failure. Serial bombing spree—failure. Claiming to be a politician’s drug dealer—failure. Pro-se lawfare—failure. The following ran as the TKPOTD three years ago today. It deals with one of his many errors during his lawfare and Team Kimberlin’s general incompetence in gathering information to support their false narratives.

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Here’s a marvelous bit of nonsense from The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s omnibus opposition to most of the motions to dismiss his Kimberlin v. Team Themis, et al. RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit. It compares the defendants to James Bond and the Mafia.ECF 74-p2

Talk about projection! It’s Team Kimberlin that thinks they’re Internet super spies sleuthing out information on nefarious Right Wing Nut Jobs. Of course, they’re something quite different in reality.

The Gentle Reader may remember some of the Cabin Boy’s™ epic failures as an investigator. This past spring, he went on and on about discovering a soooper sekrit zombie website, but the site turned out to be a honeypot, and his reaction to it yielded information useful to the defendants in Schmalfeldt’s various bogus lawsuits. He got suckered again by the zombies just a few days ago.

Bunny Boy and the other hangers on at Breitbart Unmasked are moderately less clumsy, but managed to join with the Cabin Boy™ flailing around in the search for the original Kimberlin Unmasked. At one time or another, the original KU was positively identified as Aaron Walker, Jeff Dunetz, Dan Collins, Dustyn Hughes, Patrick Frey, Kender MacGowan, me, and several others. Accuracy and strong investigative skills are not BU‘s strong suits.

popcorn4bkTeam Kimberlin’s inability to gather data from open sources and their incompetence in penetrating only moderately secure online systems is clearly a source of frustration for TDPK. You can see that in the wildly inappropriate and staggeringly useless things he sought during discovery in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance LOLsuit and in the mind-numbingly wasteful discovery he’s pursuing in the RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo LOLsuit.

If I wasn’t having to deal with his nonsense as a defendant, I’d probably find it more amusing.

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Team Kimberlin isn’t doing any better in the realm of foreign intelligence either. The $9k spent on bogus documents that was the subject of reporting in 2017 aren’t the only … um … interesting things I may have to write about one day.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin is really just a collection of inept, untalented losers. Their efforts to spin false narratives to support their cause invariably wind up be sources of pointage, laughery, and mockification when confronted with the facts. This Prevarication Du Jour from four years ago today is a fairly typical example.

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@wmsdb201410080009ZThe Cabin Boy is almost correct—in one sense. The metaphorical beatdown that we administered to The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit was delivered without our having to bestir ourselves to put on a defense. All we had to do was let TDPK engaged in self-destruction.
Docket 235_236

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The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s level of desperation is summed up by his having to rely on the likes of Bill Schmalfeldt or Matt Osborne as his PR flacks.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, and six years ago today, I ran this post about Talking Like Dread Pirate #Brett Kimberlin.

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Arrrrgh! None of the rest of his crew were available for comment.