All Lickspittle Broadcast System programs end with an announcement such as this one—
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
This post, Funny You Should Ask, from eight years ago today is an example of the truth contained in that proverb.
* * * * *
The last three intriguing episodes of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign have dealt with several potentially interrelated episodes of harassment wherein either The Grouch or The Bomber had contacted a third party in order to harass someone who was or wound up as one of Johnny’s clients. None of the episodes provide any information about the contents of the harassing messages. Yet, today, Hogewash! received this comment to yesterday’s episode.Why would “Keep Wondering” ask such a question unless he knew that the contents of one or more of the messages directed the recipient(s) attention to “public information”?
Pretend for a moment that the fictional Johnny Atsign episodes are, like Blognet, based on true incidents but with the some of the names changed to protect the innocent. That knowledge of the contents of at least one of the messages would limit the range of possible identities of “Keep Wondering” to one of the senders or one of the recipients. Since the recipients know why they turned the messages over to law enforcement agencies, they probably have a good idea of why the messages might be illegal. That leaves a very small population of suspects.
Still, the question deserves an answer. There are several—depending on who received which message.
Under Maryland law, it is a crime to harass a government employee at work.
Under federal law, it is a serious felony to harass a federal employee or a contractor assisting a federal employee at work.
Under Maryland law, it is a crime to make a false report to a public official which causes an investigation to occur.
Under federal law, it is a crime to make a false statement to a federal official.
Someone is playing Go Fish when the real game is Fizzbin.
* * * * *
And it turns out he wasn’t playing with a full deck.