Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

All of the Kimberlin LOLsuits of the past decade have failed either because there was no evidence to support his claims or because his allegations didn’t support an actual cause of action. The TKPOTD for nine years ago today pointed out one such hole in his first RICO LOLsuit.

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RICOMadnessI’ve previously noted that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin needs to answer the points that we defendants have raised in our motions to dismiss his second amended complaint in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness. He needs to explain why the “facts” he has alleged in his complaint are sufficient to establish a claim upon which the court can grant relief. That explanation is due on 8 December in the form of an omnibus opposition to our motions.

Remember that at this stage of the proceeding the court is supposed to give TDPK the benefit of the doubt as to whether or not his allegations are true.

Here’s one of them—ECF 135-80OK. Let’s pretend for the sake of argument that what he says it true. So what? How could writing mean things about the Howard County State’s Attorney have injured Brett Kimberlin?

It couldn’t have caused him any injury in his business or property, so it is not basis for his RICO claim.

It doesn’t have anything to do with Patrick Frey, so it is not a basis for the civil rights claim against him.

It doesn’t involve race- or class-based discrimination against TPDK, so it is not a basis for a claim under the KKK Act.

It doesn’t have anything to do with Kimberlin per se, so it is not a basis for any of his state law claims of defamation, false light invasion of privacy, interference with prospective business, battery, conspiracy, or mopery with intent to lurk.

Like so much of his complaint, nothing in that half-page of gobbledygook supports anything in his case. It’s all wasted pixels and toner. The challenge facing TDPK over the next two-and-a-half weeks is to try to salvage the elements of at least one on the causes of actions he’s alleged out of the dreck in his second amended complaint. Thus far, it seems that he’s been frittering away his time on nonsense such as the motion for a new trial in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit.

Tick, tock.

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His ongoing Kimberlin v. Reality (aka Kimberlin v. DOJ) seeking money damages for his time in prison because of his Speedway Bombing convictions failed in U. S. District Court. When the Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit reviewed the case, it found—

More than 40 years ago, juries convicted Brett Kimberlin of felonies related to a series of bombings in Speedway, Indiana. He maintains his innocence and, after a host of unsuccessful direct appeals, collateral attacks, and adjacent civil litigation, he sued the United States Department of Justice, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms and Explosives, the Indiana State Police, state and federal officials, as well as a juror and her husband—all of whom, he alleges, conspired to convict and imprison him. The district court screened the complaint and dismissed it after concluding that most of Kimberlin’s claims were barred by Heck v. Humphrey, 512 U.S. 477 (1994), and that the remainder of his complaint failed to state a claim. We affirm the judgment.

Kimberlin has filed a petition for a writ of certiorari with the Supreme Court. The Government’s response is due this Friday.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Billogical. I’m not sure coined the term, but it was one of the ways of describing the confused utterings from Bill Schmalfeldt. This Legal LULZ Du Jour from seven years ago today is an example of such logic.

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LG16_201608160451ZaIs that so?Complaint_43

UPDATE—The obvious syllogism one can derive from the above is—

Schmalfeldt accused Hoge of the crime of stalking.

Hoge has never been convicted of a crime.

Therefore, Schmalfeldt is a moron.

However, the conclusion may be faulty, at least under the original definition of a moron as an adult with a mental age of 8 to 12. Is the Cabin Boy™ that mature?

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Perhaps not a moron but a nitwit.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

It’s been remarked that first-rate people hire first-rate people and that second-rate people hire third-rate people. Brett Kimberlin hired Bill Schmalfeldt as a PR flack, and the Cabin Boy™ … well, let’s just say that when he really worked hard, he sometimes managed to make the cut for mediocrity. Ten years ago today, this post, #BillSchmalfeldt Explains Why bin Ladin Was Not a Terrorist, took a look at some of Schmalfeldt’s logic.

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RadioWMS @aaronworthing doesn’t know any terrorists. As a lawyer, he understands that is a legal definition. One must be accused and convicted of…
8:37 PM – 20 Jul 13

RadioWMS …terrorism to be accurately referred to as a “terrorist.” You would think an actual lawyer would understand that distinction.
8:38 PM – 20 Jul 13

Osama bin Ladin was never convicted of anything. Thus, by the ace legal analysis of Sore Loserman Bill Schmalfeldt, he was not a terrorist.

Someone better recall the SEALs.

UPDATE—It’s possible that the Cabin Boy is mistaken in his understanding of the meaning of terrorism.

18 USC § 2331—Definitions

As used in this chapter—

(1) the term “international terrorism” means activities that—
(A) involve violent acts or acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State, or that would be a criminal violation if committed within the jurisdiction of the United States or of any State;
(B) appear to be intended—
(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;
(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or
(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and
(C) occur primarily outside the territorial jurisdiction of the United States, or transcend national boundaries in terms of the means by which they are accomplished, the persons they appear intended to intimidate or coerce, or the locale in which their perpetrators operate or seek asylum;

(5) the term “domestic terrorism” means activities that—
(A) involve acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State;
(B) appear to be intended—
(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;
(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or
(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and
(C) occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States.

I think most folks would agree that Osama bin Ladin met this definition of an “international terrorist.” And that Brett Kimberlin meets the this definition of a “domestic terrorist.”

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And Brett Kimberlin is still the Speedway Bomber.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Well, well, well! Someone’s actually been tending to breitbartunmasked dot com. It has a new look—Zooming into the upper left of that screenshot show this timestamp—11:20:42 pm GMT is the time I took the screenshot, but it was taken on Tuesday, 27 June. The time shown the Home page clock is 24 hours late. When I checked other pages, they showed the correct date. Team Kimberlin isn’t very good about attending to details.

The site has been backed up offline. If I have some time to kill, I’ll skim through it and look for any interesting changes.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

It often seems the members of Team Kimberlin write or say things without carefully thinking about their choice of words. Consider this example from the TKPOTD from seven years ago today.

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S_A201605121243ZNow, that’s an interesting turn of phrase.

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Here are a comment and a VV cartoon from the 2016 post—Yes, the mockery continues.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The TKPOTD for ten years ago today dealt with the quality (or lack thereof) of the writing at Team Kimberlin’s principle PR site Brietibart Unmasked.

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One is led to wonder whether Breitbart Unmasked is now being written by the room full of monkeys who were supposed be typing the complete works of Shakespeare.

Qui sunt hae simiae, qui strepitus inanis scribunt?

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The monkeys must have escaped. There haven’t been any new posts at BU for almost 4-1/2 years.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The TKPOTD for for ten years ago today is an example how dealing with Team Kimberlin was often a battle of wits with unarmed men.

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Sigh.

Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt has a moderately fluent potty mouth in English, but his Latin leaves something to be desired. He’s written a four-word sentence with multiple errors. I’ll leave it to someone else correct his attempted insult except to say that the verb he was looking for is futuō, futuere, futuī, futūtum, which is a very naughty word, or paedīcō, paedīcāre, paedīcāvī, paedīcātum, which is even worse.

Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus.

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Oderint dum metuant.

First, Willie Wonka. Now, James Bond.

The Sunday Telegraph reports that the James Bond books are being scrubbed of “racists references.”

Ian Fleming Publications Ltd, the company that owns the literary rights to the author’s work, commissioned a review by sensitivity readers of the classic texts under its control.

It’s almost as if this is part of a larger plan …

It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. Of course the great wastage is in the verbs and adjectives, but there are hundreds of nouns that can be got rid of as well. … Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This Prevarication Du Jour from nine years ago today deals with one of the more stupid lies Team Kimberlin told in support of their false narratives.

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2014Radio201402151815ZNo, it’s not one of the reasons I’m being sued. The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin is suing me because of what he claims I’ve written, not what commenters on my blog have written. I’ve posted his state and federal lawsuits. Read ’em for yourself.

Of course, TDPK isn’t really suing anyone for writing false things about him. He’s suing my codefendants and me because we’ve written truthful things about him, and he doesn’t like it.

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Of course, the most stupid of their lies were found in their LOLsuits which often included exhibits which contradicted their claims.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Rarely, but on a few occasions, Team Kimberlin has said or written something that was true. The Bonus Prevarication Du Jour for nine years ago today took note of one such occurrence.

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db201312291211ZAw, the poor Cabin Boy doesn’t think that I’ve adequately addressed all the ludicrous allegations he’s put in his tweets and posts over the past few days. OK, let me be specific in affirming what he got right—because that’s a much shorter list and will save time and pixels.

He has spelled my name correctly. Sometimes.

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Sometimes, but no always.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

After I wound up as a defendant in several First Amendment lawsuits, I began doing volunteer paralegal work supporting other bloggers defending their free speech rights. A large part of that work has been proofreading court papers. The TKPOTD for eight years ago today included some proofreading I offered to The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin.

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The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin clearly needed some editorial help with his omnibus opposition to the motions to dismiss his Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.ECF 231-21#FixedItForYou

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I’m not done with him yet.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of Matt Osborne’s stranger posts at Breitbart Unmasked was the subject of the Prevarication Du Jour for nine years ago today.

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Here’s another ludicrous line from the keyboard of Xenophon (the Troll) as published at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.).BU20131216b

Three-Stooges-HitlerIt’s true that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin is seen by some of us as something out of the movies, but not as a horror movie villain. While he is viewed as potentially dangerous, he’s seen as something out of a two-reeler. This picture which was used in a post published last year provides a fair summary of what many of us think about TDPK and his crew.

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Osborne spent a decade in the Army and National Guard as an Arabic-speaking intelligence analyst. In spite of being in a critical skill area, he never made it past Spec4. When he was made a member of the Team Kimberlin crew, he was designated 57F Osborne, which placed him in a military occupational specialty where he had adequate skills to succeed. That MOS has now been redesigned 92M.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

It’s been four years since there has been any new material posted at Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Unread.One former editor, Bunny Boy (aka Matt Osborne), tried to reinvent himself Gender Heretic on the Twitterz, floated farther from Reality, and wound up being permanently suspended. The other former editor seems to be alternating between forced retirement (getting fired) and ever gigs in ever marginal markets.

Meanwhile, Hogewash! keeps chugging along having not suffered any of the direst of dire direness predicted by BU, and Ali Alexander, the subject of the the last hit piece on BU, seems to be have had a more significant impact public’s understand of election fraud issues than any of Team Kimberlin’s efforts.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Team Kimberlin often complained they were the victims of false narrative while being the source of narrative that were not only obviously false but also mind-bogglingly stupid. Consider this Prevarication Du Jour from seven years ago today.

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The Cabin Boy™ has posted what he claims to be the text of an unsolicited comment he allegedly received to one of his posts. He says that he believes that the comment is from [redacted] in Manassas, Virginia. He claims to have traced the IP address back to a cell tower near where [redacted] lives, and he provides a map with the location of the cell tower shown.

According to the several utility databases, there is a cell tower within a few dozen feet of the location shown. However, according to the FCC, [redacted]’s cellular provider is not on that tower. Moreover, why would [redacted] use his cellular connection if he were at home. Even he were using his phone instead of a computer, he would more likely use a wi-fi connection into his landline cable provider to avoid data charges and for higher speed.

This leaves several possibilities. One is that one of the Cabin Boy™ “friends” is pranking him. Another is that the whole thing is a lie. Or perhaps it’s something else.

UPDATE—I’ve just verified how IP addressing works for mobile devices. The IP address seen by the Internet looking back at a mobile device is actually the address of a server at the cellular ISPs point-of-presence. For example, my portable wi-fi hotspot is sitting on our kitchen table in Westminster, Maryland, and I can see the lights on the carrier’s tower out the living room window, but the IP address associated with it on the Internet is in Arlington, Virginia.

pantsonfireIn order to determine the address of a connection all the way back to a cell tower, one needs to go through the carrier’s internal connection logs. That requires a subpoena. How many of you think that the Cabin Boy™ was able to get a subpoena for information sent this afternoon, serve the subpoena, and get the response from [redacted]’s cell phone carrier in a matter of a few hours? For that matter, how many think he could get such a subpoena in the first place?

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Schmalfeldt posted a comment which I let through moderation— To which one of the Gentle Readers replied—

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This rather foolish post appeared nine years ago today on Breitbart Unmasked. It’s still available on the BU website. (No, I won’t link to it.)

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That post ends with this words—

And we cannot wait to see Robert Stacy McCain try this blog court defense in a genuine courtroom.

Stacy never had to present any defense in court because he, my other codefendants, and I were granted a directed verdict in our favor when Brett Kimberlin failed to present a case sufficient to go to a jury.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

During one of Matt Osborne’s turns at running the Breitbart Unmasked website, he tried, quite unsuccessfully, to turn it into something approximating a real news site. But of course, he couldn’t refrain from an occasional attack on those of use continuing to report on the site’s owner. This post appeared on BU nine years ago today.The link to that ABCNews post has expired. Following the expired links to several other ABC posts, Osborne concludes with this—

Transpose the issues presented here from the physical neighborhood to the electronic one. Aaron Walker Stalker will bulldoze your fence rather than slow down at the turn of his driveway. William Hoge will call the police because your grass is an inch too high. R.S. McCain will declare himself the victim of your shenanigans, then shine his laser into your windows the minute your back has turned. All of this is made worse by the internet, which rewards negativity, dishonest argument, and “link baiting” over factual journalism or a conciliatory narrative. Everyone feels completely justified in their actions, no matter how obscene or over-the-top, because the other guy is the one truly at fault just by virtue of his being there.

That bit about feeling justified no matter how obscene one’s action probably fits another former editor of BU better than anyone me mentioned in Osborne’s rant. OTOH, self-awareness has never been one of Team Kimberlin’s strong suits.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the problems that The Deadbeat Publisher Kimberlin has had with his Breitbart Unmasked website is finding a competent editor to keep it running. Bill Schmalfeldt and Matt Osborne have both failed at the job—Schmalfeldt more than once. Indeed, the Cabin Boy’s™ last turn left the site in such bad shape that no one has bothered to post anything new for almost four years. In fact, some of the posts have been memory holed. That’s not the first time BU has been subjected to an editorial cleaning. The TKPOTD for six years ago today dealt with the clean up that occurred after Schmalfeldt’s first turn as editor.

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The Cabin Boy™ was editor of Breitbart Unmasked for while before 57F Osborne took over and turned it into Bunny Boy Unread. The site is backed up all the way to a 21 February, 2012 post by The Watchful Avenge called THE OCCUPY UNMASKED LIE. That post is still available on the Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Boy Unread website, but a significant number of posts from the Cabin Boy™ era have been memory-holed. For example, these posts from the last month before Schmalfeldt was fired have been spoliated—

13 Jul WHEN DID FRANZ KAFKA START WRITING MY LIFE’S STORY?
13 Jul JOGGING HOGE’S MEMORY
13 Jul EXPLAINING WHY HOGE IS WRONG ABOUT THE LAW
13 Jul HOGE SEEMS TO BE HAVING A CRISIS OF SPIRIT
14 Jul HOGE’S CRISIS PASSES, WAR CONTINUES
14 Jul CHRIST’S ADMONITION TO HYPOCRITES LIKE HOGE, WALKER AND THEIR SUPPORTERS
16 Jul DESTROYING BRETT KIMBERLIN’S FAMILY
27 Jul HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?
28 Jul 5,000 WORDS OF HATE FROM R. STACY MCCAIN
6 Aug HONESTLY, POPEHAT. I’M BLUSHING OVER HERE
10 Aug ALI AKBAR ANNOUNCES NEWEST PARTNER OF PUNDIT SYNDICATION, LLC—WJJ HOGE

Of course, these are all backed up both online and offline. So has essentially everything that has been posted to the site.

When one buys pixels by the terabyte, a few gigabytes don’t even amount to pocket change.

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For the record, there have been over 24,000 post here at Hogewash!, and all of them are still online—except for one, the donation page for the fund that was created to support Tetyana Kimberlin’s legal expenses when she was seeking protection from her husband. The page was taken down when the fund was suspended at her request.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

It’s been said The Sage of The Dread Deadbeat Pirate Pro-Se Kimberlin is much like a bad movie. At one point in an unusually bad fit of poor self-awareness, Matt Osborne (writing under the pseudonym Xenophon) was using Amazing Criswell posts at Breitbart Unmasked to predict the direst of dire direness for people who had been reporting on Kimberlin’s activities. Nine years ago today, I published the post, The Amazing Xenophon.

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Over at Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.), Xenophon has been trying impress both of the site’s regular readers with the idea that she is this generation’s Amazing Criswell. The real Amazing Criswell was a local TV personality in LA back in the ’50s. What little fame he had in the wider world was from his appearances in the Ed Wood howler, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and on the Jack Parr Show.

Criswell’s bating average on his predictions was someplace south of 0.0005, and that is only slightly better than Xenophon’s, so it’s not unreasonable for her to aspire to be in the same league.

There’s another similarity between Team Kimberlin and Criswell. Criswell originally bought time on TV for infomercials for his vitamin business, and that’s kinda like selling drugs.

Oh, one more thing …

Criswell wore bow ties.

UPDATE—Apparently, Matt Osborne thinks that anyone who disagrees with one of the Amazing Xenophon’s predictions should be added as a defendant to Brett Kimberlin’s frivolous suit against Walker et al.

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Here’s a comment from the original post comparing the BU staff to the real Xenophon—

BTW, it’s interesting that Osborne never mentioned that I was misgendering him as “Xenophon.”

Time and Grammar

Time has published a piece about a woke artist and posted this tweet to promote the article.The tweet appears to have been written in English. If so, the wrong words have been used for third person pronouns.

Of course, Time‘s current ungoodthinkfull confusion about pronouns will be resolved as the company completes the transition to Newspeak.

The only classes of words that were still allowed to inflect irregularly were the pronouns, the relatives, the demonstrative adjectives, and the auxiliary verbs. All of these followed their ancient usage, except that WHOM had been scrapped as unnecessary, and the SHALL, SHOULD tenses had been dropped …

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

As I’ve previously noted, Team Kimberlin’s lack of respect for the intellectual property right of others has occasionally been costly for them. This post from eight years ago today In Re Animus Nocendi dealt with one of Bill Schmalfeldt’s misadventures.

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Animus Nocendi is the name of the Cabin Boy™ latest cut-and-paste opus. I haven’t read it yet, but Amazon says that I should have a copy tomorrow. I may give it a review in a few days.

Speaking of reviews … The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ is squawking about “false reviews” and warning that they are violations of law. The law he cites is 15 USC § 1125 which is part of the Lanham Act. It deals with trademark infringement, false labeling of country of origin, and false advertising. It will be interesting to see how far he gets trying to sue anyone over a bad review using that statute.

ACME LEGALI’m sure he is getting the very finest of advice from Acme Legal.

Meanwhile, the Gentle Reader may wish to stock up on popcornJujubesRaisinetsJunior MintsMilk Duds, or Red Twizzlers available via Amazon.

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Mmmmmm, popcorn.