Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

During the course of the Hoge v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit, this was Found in My Inbox six years ago today.

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By now, the Gentle Reader should know that I don’t plan to make any substantive public comment on the Cabin Boy’s motion other than what is contained in any opposition I file until after the court has ruled.

Meanwhile, I’ll leave comments open on this post for the purpose of PLM, but I ask that commenters avoid educating the Cabin Boy™ on the deficiencies in his motion.

Oh, one more thing … because Exhibit D consists of confidential material under seal in the Kimberlin v. Frey case and because I am subject to the protective order issued by Judge Hazel, I have redacted that exhibit.

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I saved the Cockroach’s comment to this post.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Being one of the targets of Brett Kimberlin’s lawfare was a serious problem, but one that required mockery as part of the response. His first LOLsuit listed seven causes of action, some of which weren’t things that can be the subject of a lawsuit. Part of my response was to suggest that he forgot to include Mopery With Intent to Lurk among his laundry list of claims. Nine years ago today, one of the Gentle Readers joined in the pointage, laughery, and mockification.

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SuedByDrEvilImage Credit: @bet0001970

Stacy McCain has more here.

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If you click on the link to the @bet0001970 Twitter account, you’ll find than as with so many conservatives on Twitter, her account has been cancelled.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Team Kimberlin’s forecasts of the direst of dire direness befalling me have consistently been a source of pointage, laughery, and mockification aimed at them. Yesterday’s TKPOTD dealt with a silly prophecy from Matt Osborne, This post from six years ago today, What’s Past is Prologue, made fun of a tweet from Bill Schmalfeldt.

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The Cabin Boy™ seems wowed by three-year old tweets. Meh. The Vast Hogewash! Archives have plenty of his impotent threats filed away, some from more than a year before the ones recycled this morning, some from this month.MU201607280438ZIt’s interesting to compare the timestamp on this tweet with when he was checking in here. He took his first look after midnight at 12:36 ET, and his tweet is stamped 12:38 ET. Then, less than 15 minutes later, he began searching Hogewash! using terms such as “filed by the state,” “I was not a party,” and “Maryland v. Schmalfeldt.”

Who is sweating bullets?

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These comments from the original post are some of the milder mockery—

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Alinsky’s Rule 5 states

Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon. There is no defense. It is almost impossible to counterattack ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, who then react to your advantage.

It has certainly been a useful weapon against Team Kimberlin, and one of the ways I’ve poked fun at them has been giving them nicknames. While the unconstitutional gag order was in effect against Aaron Walker, I called Kimberlin “Lord Voldemort (He Who Must Not Be Named).” When Kimberlin posted a pirate-themed website, he became “The Dread Pirate Kimberlin.” When he represented himself in his LOLsuits, he became “The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin.” At other times, other P-words—Perjurer, Performer, Publisher, etc.—were part of the title. When he defaulted on sanctions and other moneys owed, “Dread” became “Deadbeat.”

Other members of Team Kimberlin were assigned positions in the pirate crew. One of the Gentle Readers named Bill Schmalfeldt as the Cabin Boy, so he is now Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfedt™.

This post from nine years ago today was about Schmafledt calling the readers of this blog Old Biddies.

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Cabin Boy Bill reads my blog.

RadioWMS ‏Old biddies nattering about nothing on the comment section of Hoge’s blog. A bunch of old women at a quilting bee, gossiping. Seriously.
10:43 PM – 9 Jul 13

UPDATE—An anonymous coward from Team Kimberlin comments:TK20130710

Nice try, but that nickname won’t stick. I’m Jewish from the waist down.

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Some people just aren’t cut out for … oh, never mind.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Brett Kimberlin really wanted to be a famous musician, but his persistence in the face of his lack of talent became a prime source of material for ridicule. Of course, saw truthful commentary about his musicianship as grounds for a claim in one of his LOLsuits. The TKPOTD for eight years ago debunked the claim.

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The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin alleges in his proposed second amended complaint for his Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness that the coverage of his antics by my codefendants and me has adversely affected his music career. This is from paragraph 204.ECF 100-204I think that anyone who has had the misfortune to listen to one of his recordings or music videos would agree with me that a proper response to Brett Kimberlin’s music is “Don’t give up your day job.”

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This was one of the comments to the original post. This is the link in the comment.—And this saved image is an example of the sort of pointage, laughery, and mockification Kimberlin Unmasked delivered.—

Heh.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This image originally ran as the TKPOTD for seven years ago today.

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It’s May the Fourth …Everything is Proceeding

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That cartoon got so deeply under Brett Kimberlin’s skin that he questioned me about it when he called me as a defense witness in the Walker v. Kimberlin, et al. lawsuit.

Q   Do you ever post graphics or photos of you as a Star Wars Hero?

A   I have, people have sent me graphics of my face to replace, who’s the guy that played Obi-Wan Kenobi, the older fellow? This is what happens when you’re old. Alec, Sir Alec Guinness with my face instead of Alec Guinness’ as Obi-Wan in, in various cartoons. I think they’re funny, and I’ve, I’ve posted a few that have sent me, and other people have, have picked up on that, as well, and sort of run with it. It’s a, it’s, it’s kind of a running gag now in certain corners of the internet.

The jury’s reaction to that exchange went almost exactly as the Gentle Reader might have foreseen.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One recurring theme in these posts about Team Kimberlin has been their incompetence. This post from six years ago today showed that have trouble getting thing straight even when they were Speaking About Links to their own websites.

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We interrupt our normal programming for the following bulletin—

If you click on the link shown in this tweet …SRUs201604161224Z … it will take you here ..BSdotcom

We return you now to our normal program with Frank Lloyd Wright and His Orchestra and Take the A-Frame.

UPDATE—The Cabin Boy™ visited Hogewash! at 11:04 ET this morning.SRUs201604161513ZThe Gentle Reader will note that the linking error persisted for a couple of days without a complaint from someone trying to access the Cabin Boy’s™ programming. He had to come here to find out about his problem. Note also that the Cabin Boy™ didn’t bother to check his own feed to see that it was working. Such inattention to details is probably one of the reasons for his current legal difficulties.

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If they hadn’t made a fuss, they could have remained quietly obscure rather. They didn’t, so they’ve achieved minor infamy.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

One of the things that Brett Kimberlin seems to have learned during his past decade of lawfare is that he is an incompetent litigator. This is probably why he has kept asking the Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit to give him a freebie lawyer to help with his appeals.

Of course, mockery of the shoddiness of Kimberlin’s court fillings has been a part the coverage of Kimberlin’s lawfare here at Hogewash!, as can been seen in this TKPOTD from seven years ago today.

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Judge Grimm hasn’t yet granted The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s Motion to File Second Amended Complaint in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness. He may not. One reason he may not is that the complaint does not comply with Local Rule 103.6. That rule requires that a marked up version of the proposed amended filing be provided along with a clean copy. This allows ready comparison between the existing pleading and the proposed one.

The markup is supposed to identify all the new material with boldface type or underlining and show the deleted text enclosed in brackets or as strikethrough text. TDPK markup is full of errors.

For example, in the caption on the first page TDPK added Twitchy as a defendant, but did not put its name in boldface or underline it. He did use boldface for the other new defendants.

And then there’s the very first sentence …firstsentenceThe marked up Second Amended Complaint is full of similar errors all the way to the end. One whole new section isn’t identified as a change. And in the prayer for relief at the end, TDPK changed the amount of damages sought without flagging it.

He changed “and amount exceeding $75,000” to “an amount exceeding $75,000, that is $2,000.000.” (sic) BTW, with that decimal point in place, the amount sought is two-thousand and not two-million dollars.

#Fail.

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Math is hard. And so, apparently, is punctuation.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The TKPOTD for five years ago today cited another instance of Brett Kimberlin’s incompetence as a litigator.

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Let’s keep going with the theme of The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin’s incompetence in the courtroom. This example is from his direct examination of Ali Akbar who he called as a plaintiff’s witness in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. LOLsuit. During the exchange, Judge Johnson obliquely reminds TDPK of one of the golden rules of lawyering: Don’t ask a witness a question that you don’t know the answer to.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Have you ever raised through the National Bloggers Club or Bomber Sues Bloggers dot org any money for any purpose to deal with me, my name or any of these legal issues?

MR. AKBAR: I’d like to answer no, but clarify, if I may? We’ve raised relief funds for bloggers who have lost their jobs; families who have been attacked. Families like mine, my mother and my brother have been attacked by your blog Breitbartunmasked dot com and we’ve —

MR. KIMBERLIN: I object. I object.

MR. AKBAR: And we’ve raised relief money —

THE COURT: Well it’s your question. You wanted to know had he raised any money —

MR. KIMBERLIN: Well he said my blog. I don’t have a blog.

MR. AKBAR: Breitbartunmasked dot com.

THE COURT: You can’t, if you think you’re not going to like the answer don’t ask the question. You asked him if he raised money surrounding your name.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Your Honor, I’m just saying he’s making a statement that’s false.

MR. AKBAR: So no, we haven’t raised any money you know, for people to blog about you, to attack you or anything.

Even if TDPK had liked Ali’s answer, it wouldn’t have been admissible as evidence because it dealt with actions taken after the LOLsuit had been filed.

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Stacy McCain, my podcasting partner and codependent in that case, refers to Kimberlin as The World’s Worst Pro Se Litigant™.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Eight years ago today, I posted this In Re Another LOLsuit about the case that became known as LOLsuit III: The Search for Schlock.

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The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt served the following complaint (together with a summons) on me by mail.

I will post the exhibits at a later date on scribd.com and provide a link.

I don’t wish to make any substantive comment concerning this complaint until I have reviewed it more fully.

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I’ll offer this comment in hindsight—

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This episode of Blogsmoke first ran four years ago today.

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SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3 Continue reading

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Hogewash! has not been the only blog to ridicule Team Kimberlin. Kimberlin Unmasked was another. I suspect that KU was taking a poke at Brett Kimberlin’s physical stature when he/she/they began depicting him as a yappy little chihuahua. I took note of his/her/their Pro Se Dog character eight years ago today.

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Pro Se Dog

ProSeDogUPDATE—Com’on, Pro Se, do the loco motions!

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KU would often post comments here at Hogewash!, and I saved some of those images. Here’s one that expanded on the loco motions theme.

I miss the cockroach.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Yesterday’s TKPOTD dealt with an example of Team Kimberlin’s tendency to keep using failed strategies. This Dead Horse Du Jour is the follow up post from five years ago today.

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The Cabin Boy™ wants to keep flogging his dead horse story of non-existent plagiarism.

Fine. I hope he keeps it up. It has several benefits.

First, his foolishness provides an opportunity for pointage, laughery, and mockification by those who enjoy it.

Second, his time and energy spent ranting about me is time and energy that won’t be spent cyberstalking toddlers or cyberharassing the employers of his perceived enemies.

Third, over the past year or so, Bill Schmalfeldt and Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Unread have lost what little credibility and what few readers they once had. At this point, nothing they write or say has any clout. While I intend to hold them to account for their earlier troublemaking, what they do online now (with the exception of continuing breaches of the 2014 Settlement Agreement) is not likely to be worth the trouble of addressing with anything other than derision.

Fourth, … oh, you get the picture, Gentle Reader.

#PLM

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Losing losers gotta lose.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This episode of Blogsmoke first ran five years ago today.

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BlogsmokeSOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3 Continue reading

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

TheGrandHogEvery time Team Kimberlin tried to spin up a new narrative, I’ve quickly taken control of it away from them. For example, when Bill Schmalfeldt stole an image of me from a video posted by Peter Ingemi and used it in tweets and posts tagging me as “The Grand Hog,” I responded with this post In Re The Grand Hog.

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Oink!

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I’m still selling The Grand Hog merchandise at The Hogewash Store.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Gentle Reader who has heard any of the alleged music created by Team Kimberlin (Bill Schmalfeldt’s parody songs, Brett Kimberlin’s music videos, or Willam Ferguson’s technocrap) may find it difficult to believe that there have been occasional bits of good music associated with The Saga of Team Kimberlin. Seven years ago today, I ran this post about The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

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Last night, I was running iTunes in random mode when The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Paul Dukas came up. The first time I can remember hearing that piece was when I saw the movie Fantasia at the Tennessee theater in downtown Nashville back in the ’50s. The work is a symphonic poem that tells the story of Goethe’s poem Der Zauberlehrling. You probably know the story: Rather than do his chores the old fashioned way, a young apprentice tries to use magic. He loses control of his enchanted broom but is saved in the end when his master returns and sets things right. Mickey Mouse plays the apprentice in the Disney version.

But back to my story …

I didn’t initially realize what was playing in the background because I was concentrating on writing today’s Team Kimberlin Post of the Day. When I did notice the music, it struck me as somewhat related to what I was writing. The post was about Bill Schmalfeldt’s bumbling attempts at lawfare. He’s tried to use lawfare as an easy pushback against the various attempts to hold him accountable for his online harassment and cyberthuggery. Yet, each time he tries something, the legal waves break higher and higher against him.

One wonders—will his master save him?

Probably not.

His master has been no more successful in the long run with his lawfare. Team Kimberlin’s performance, by master or apprentice, can’t even be described as “mickey mouse.”

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Yeah, Acme isn’t a Disney thing, is it?

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Before it went quiet, Team Kimberlin’s PR operation was constantly predicting the direst of dire direness would befall those of us opposing them in court. Bill Schmalfeldt’s silly rants predicting my being led away in irons from a hearing scheduled in October, 2013, was one example. Eight years ago today, I posted these Quotes of the Day to poke fun at him.

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No enemy bomber can reach the Ruhr. If one reaches the Ruhr, my name is not Göring. You may call me Meier.

—Hermann Göring

…and if Hoge leaves the courthouse on Oct. 16 a free man, I will be shocked.

—Bill Schmalfeldt

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Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Given the poor quality of the legal filings made by Team Kimberlin, I wasn’t too much of a stretch to begin joking that they were getting their advice from the legal department of the same Acme Corporation that sold stuff to a certain coyote. The TKPOTD for eight years ago today reported on the actual source of their briefs.

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The source of Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt’s “legal” briefs has been found—Acme Underwear.team_kimberlin_brief

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If the Gentle Reader would like to purchase memorabilia related to The Saga of Team Kimberlin, take a look at the fine offerings at The Hogewash Store.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The main reason Team Kimberlin has lost every single LOLsuit they filed since 2012 is that both the facts and the law have been against them, but a close runner up was their mind-boggling incompetence as pro se litigants. This post from eight years ago today poked fun at #BillSchmalfeldt, Legal Genius.

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From tweets in my Twitter timeline and emails, I’m given to understand that Bill Schmalfeldt has received service on the Motion to Dismiss Petitioner’s Motion for Stay Pending Appeal filed by my lawyer. I’m told that he doesn’t like it. Now, that’s a shock—Schmalfeldt doesn’t like my lawyer’s defense of my position.

The mailman just delivered a copy for me a few minutes ago. It seems that Md Rule 8-425 states that the party filing for injunctive relief shall do so in the Circuit Court first before going to an appellate court. Since that isn’t the course the Sore Loserman has taken, Ms. Barnes has asked that his motion be dismissed.

Schmalfeldt filed his appeal with the wrong court. Now, it appears he’s filed a motion in the wrong court.

Acme Legal strikes again!

UPDATE—BS_Genius

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Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

For all their grandiose planning and “clever” narratives, Team Kimberlin fails because they never seem to be able to understand the likely consequences of their actions of implication of what they’re saying. This I’m Not Making This Up, You Know from seven years ago today pointed out an unforced error.

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Bunny Boy has a headline story over at Breitbart Unmasked about a young criminal being caught with IEDs. (No, I won’t link to it.)

Apparently, Brett Kimberlin was unavailable for comment.

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Heh.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

Team Kimberlin’s LOLsuits have always wound up backfiring and becoming marvelous sources of pointage, laughery, and mockification. The TKPOTD from five years ago today dealt with one of them.

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The Dreadful Pro-Se Freeloader Schmalfeldt has posted some more of his yibble-bibble concerning his unique theory of spoliation of evidence. (No, I won’t link to it.) He seems to to think that an Illinois Supreme Court case is the controlling precedent for his theory. However, that case deals with a set of facts that have nothing to do with his situation, and, here’s the more important problem he faces, because he’s filed suit in a federal court, the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure and Federal Rules of Evidence apply.

res_judicata_mugsWhen he meets with his lawyer on Wednesday, he should ask about FRCP 37 and sanctions against any party who engages in spoliation of evidence. He should, but I doubt that he will.

He should also ask his lawyer about the effect of dismissing Schamfeldt v. Grady, et al. (I), Case No. 15-CV-1241-RDB (D.Md. 2015) with prejudice has on the claims in LOLsuit VII: Degenerations. For example, if Grady must be dismissed because of res judicata, on what grounds can Sarah Palmer be haled into the U.S. District Court of the District of Northern Illinois? He should ask what effect his application for copyright registration for Confession of an Undercover Internet Troll in which he swore he was the author of a book that identifies it’s author as Paul Krendler could have on LOLsuit VII.

He should divulge a great many things to his freebie lawyer, and he should ask a lot of important questions. I bet he won’t.

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Whether the Cabin Boy™ was frank and honest with his freebie lawyer or not, the attorney was smart enough to make dismissal of the suit his first order of business, so LOLsuit VII died quickly.

BTW. Res Judicata Coffee Mugs and other merch are available at The Hogewash Store.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dread Deadbeat Performer Kimberlin’s musical career has been the source of much pointage, laughery, and mockification over the years. Here’s the TKPOTD from eight years ago today.

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cameramanThe Justice Through Music Project house band Op-Critical has been putting out covers of old hits fondly remembered by baby boomers, For What It’s Worth and Paradise most recently. Now that they’ve got footage of a process server and cops that they can use, maybe they will favor us with their version of Indiana Wants Me. One of the members would be a natural for the lead vocal.

frontporch

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It looks as if Op-Critical has been disbanded. The op-critical dot com website is gone and the server that had hosted it appears to have been disconnected from the Internet.

Maybe he can do a cover of the Ukrainian version.