Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Suppose we gave a hearing, and The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin didn’t deign to show up. Actually, we know what happens because he’s already pulled that stunt. The TKPOTD and a subsequent post from three years ago today have the details.

* * * * *

There is a scheduling hearing on the docket of the Circuit Court for Montgomery County this morning in the Kimberlin v. Almost the Whole Universe, et al. RICO Retread LOLsuit. Scheduling hearings are usually just a quick meeting between the lawyers and the judge to set some due dates for things like discovery, notifications about witnesses, and the like. Today’s hearing may have a few extra … um … features.

popcorn4bkThe Gentle Reader may have noticed that I haven’t written much about this particular case. Frankly, my lawyer and I have been waiting to see what The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin was and wasn’t going to do. We’ve had no reason to tip our hand at this stage of the case. However, some things may come out in court this morning. If they do, I’ll write about them.

Stay tuned.

* * * * *

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin has not shown up for the hearing yet. They are trying to find him.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE—The hearing was continued until 3 September when it will be combined with hearings on motions to dismiss. TDPK must have all of his oppositions to all of the motions to dismiss filed not later than 1 September.

UPDATE 2—You know, it’s possible that I have visited more than one courthouse today.

* * * * *

The Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin was sanctioned for his failure to appear at the hearing. He still hasn’t paid me, but I’m not finished with him yet.

High-Capacity Ignorance


This tweet went viral on the Twitterz yesterday evening, and there was much pointage, laughery, and mockification directed at CBS—I was left wondering what the reporter thought was an “assault revolver” and if I owned anything that might qualify. The revolver in my gun locker that probably comes closest to fitting the bill is my grandfather’s old H&R Sentinel. It’s a .22 with a 9-round cylinder.It’s a reasonable plinker, the sort of gun that old men carried in their tackle boxes when I was a kid. These days, it’s obsolete and being replaced by 10-shot .22 revolvers made of stainless steel.

AR-15s are also .22 caliber. That may be what confused the reporter.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The land of make-believe that Team Kimberlin seems to … I was going to write inhabit, but infest seems more appropriate … infest is pretty bizarre. One look at the comment that “Westminster Wind” inflicted on the Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Brett Unread post that was featured in yesterday’s TKPOTD shows how detached from Reality they’ve become. They’d have to be crazy to believe that sort of nonsense and crazier still to think that anyone else would buy it.

Of course, as the TKPOTD from four years ago today demonstrates, believability has never been one of The Dread Deadbeat Prevaricator Kimberlin’s long suits.

* * * * *

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin responded to my requests for admissions as a part of discovery in the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit. Some of his responses are … shall we say … interesting. The format a request for admissions is such that the response to each statement should be either “admit” or “deny.” Any other response must have a detailed explanation of why a simple answer can’t be given.

Consider these—Admissions 30_33Objection because of irrelevance is not an allowable response. Irrelevance is an reason why one doesn’t want to answer not a reason why one can’t.

It’s also a stupid answer to each of those questions. TDPK’s parole status is a matter of public record obtainable by a Freedom of Information Act Request to the U. S. Parole Commission. The status of the judgment due to Mrs. DeLong is a matter of public record. So is the matter of his parole revocation and the reasons for it.

Clearly, if any of the statements were false, TDPK would be expected to deny them. What does he think dodging statements of easily verifiable facts will do to his credibility in front of a jury?

#StupidIsAsStupidDoes

* * * * *

The Gentle Reader may remember that we defendants didn’t have to use TDPK’s answers to those interrogatories during the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. trial because we never had to put on our defense. The judge stopped the trial when Kimberlin rested his case and granted judgment in our favor because TDPK had failed put any evidence before the jury that we had defamed him.

Reality has this habit of sticking around whether you believe in it or want it to.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Team Kimberlin is predictably vain and stupidly so. The Gentle Reader may remember that Breitbart Unmasked Bunny Billy Boy Brett Unread has be quiet for the past three months. The Dread Deadbeat Publisher Kimberlin has been unable to find the time to deal with any of that unimportant news that’s been cluttering the Interwebz since mid April. But yesterday, a story too important to ignore hit.

After TDPK’s hearing about the Maryland Court of Appeals decision in the Walker v. Maryland, et al. case, a story (No, I won’t link to it.) was hurriedly published at BU. Of course, the post is a mostly inaccurate representation of what has happened, but it’s the comments following the post that are the real hoot with their silly disconnection from reality. I particularly enjoyed this one:LMAO! It’s almost as if they run that site for the sole purpose of being the objects of pointage, laughery, and mockification.

The Dread Deadbeat Pirate/Pro-Se/Publisher/Perofrmer/Prevaricator/Pedo Kimberlin and his crew should have cut there losses and quit. I’m not through with them yet.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One common characteristic among the members of Team Kimberlin is a lack of musical talent. Rather than admit his inadequacy, The Dread Deadbeat Performer Kimberlin has tried to sue some of us who have commented on his musicianship. The TKPOTD from four years ago today dealt with his claim in his RICO Madness LOLsuit that my codefendants and I had tried to ruin his career.

* * * * *

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tries to claim that my 21 codefendants and I did all sorts of mean things to him to ruin his business. This is from paragraph 265 of his second amended complaint in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.ECF 135-265Now, it is true that I have written a negative review of his musicianship.

Review: “Nothing Else” by Epoxy (#BrettKimberlin)

Originally posted on 17 July, 2012

Back in 2002, Brett Kimberlin fronted a band named Epoxy and released a CD called Nothing Else. The story he spun promoting the album was that it contained songs that he had written while he was being held as a political prisoner in the federal prison system.

The band consisted of Brett Kimberlin on guitar and vocals, Wade Matthews on Bass, and Robbie White on Drums. The genre of the album is someplace between grunge and punk, neither of which are among my favorite musical forms.

Let me first comment on Mr. Kimberlin’s voice. I had heard his speaking voice in court, and I understand why some people refer to it as whinny. His singing voice reminds me of the silly voice that Weird Al uses on tracks such as Eat It. Mrs. Hoge, who listened through the CD with me, said, “Eddie Haskell.” On most of the tracks his voice was off key, usually flat.

Most of the songs could have been filler tracks on a generic grunge album. Some of the alienation in them seems to be more appropriate for a 17 year old, not someone 30 years older. Mr. Kimberlin was in his late 40s when the recording was made. However, three of the songs stood out. Vicegrip was actually interesting musically. Donuts had clever lyrics. It’s about lousy prison food and would probably get a nod of approval from G. Gordon Liddy.

Then there’s the last cut Keyhole. It was outstandingly bad. Mrs. Hoge and I met while we were in the music business, and during her career as a recording engineer, she recorded more gold and platinum records than I did. Her comment was, “If you’re gonna mike a guitar that close, you should use a better guitar and make sure it’s in tune. And get a better guitar player.”

While he didn’t do especially well with the acoustic guitar on Keyhole, Brett Kimberlin is actually a reasonably good guitarist. He probably couldn’t cut it in Nashville or LA, but could make a living in a minor market (such as Seattle) or playing the Holiday Inn circuit. Indeed, the world would be a better place if he did ignore the usual advice and give up his day job.

Nothing Else by Epoxy (Pollen Records, $16.04 from Amazon) is interesting because of who recorded it, but I can’t honestly recommend it for the musical experience it offers.

The CD is no longer reliably available on Amazon

.* * * * *

The original publication of that review resulted in Hogewash!‘s first Instalanche. There were probably more hits on that review over the next couple of days than on the jtmp dot org website for the next year.

The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s plan for brass knuckles reputation management wasn’t any better than his music.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bullies think it’s unfair when you hit them back—which is why it’s not surprising that Bill Schmalfeldt whines and threatens the direst of dire direness whenever someone takes any step that might result in the Cabin Boy™ being held accountable for his actions. Three years ago, Schmalfeldt was in the midst of a flurry of LOLsuits. LOLsuit III had been thrown out because he sued in a court lacking jurisdiction., LOLsuit IV had been thrown out for improper venue, and LOLsuit V was just getting under way. The TKPOTD from three years ago today dealt with the Cabin Boy’s™ upset over being called a “deranged cyberstalker.”

* * * * *

The Cabin Boy™ has his panties in a knot because folks refer to him as a “deranged cyberstalker.” (Stacy McCain deserves credit for first referring to Schmalfeldt that way.) Aside from the fact that expressing the opinion that Schmalfeld is a deranged cyberstalker is protected speech under the First Amendment, he is admittedly demented (deranged and demented are synonyms), and he is an adjudicated harasser. Since his harassing was done on line, that fits the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of cyberstalking. Thus, calling him a deranged cyberstalker is not only protected opinion, it is also an true statement backed by the facts.

TheDerangedCyberstalkerAdditionally, the Cabin Boy™ has promoted his identity as The Deranged Cyberstalker through the sale of a CD of his “comedy” bits. While that CD appears to be out of print, the tracks are still available for download from iTunes and Amazon. Note: Amazon’s MP3 downloads are cheaper and will play on Apple devices.

Imagine the cross examination in court …

Q: You say you were defamed and damaged by being called a “deranged cyberstalker.” Is that correct?

A: Yes.

Q: I show you the items marked as Defense Exhibits 11 and 12. They are screen shots from iTunes and Amazon, respectively. Can you identify the downloads offered for sale?

If the Cabin Boy™ is very lucky, Schmalfeldt v. Grady (, et al. ?) will be dismissed with prejudice.

* * * * *

Indeed, LOLsuit V was dismissed with prejudice on a motion filed by Schmalfeldt himself. Dismissal with prejudice in a finding on the merits, so it would appear that the Cabin Boy™ admitted that his claims were bogus. Not longer after dismissing his LOLsuit, he fled the state of Maryland.

Nothing proceeded as he had hallucinated.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


The members of Team Kimberlin who have tried to engage in pro se lawfare have often stumbled over the meaning of Latin legal terms. Bill Schmalfeldt in particular has had trouble with other ancient languages, and I’ve had to provide translations for him as I did four years ago today.

* * * * *

wmsbroadcasting201407111041ZIt’s just like the narrative in Daniel 5. A low-grade tyrant calls for a learned man to help him when he’s perplexed. I’ve got my Aramaic dictionary handy, so I can translate what it’s telling him.

MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN.

MENE: Your works have been measured and are coming to an end.

TEKEL: You have been weighed in the balances and found overweight.

UPHARSIN: What’s left of your audience will be divided between Nigerian and North Korean spam bots.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Belshazzar's FeastUPDATE—William Walton wrote a musical retelling of the original story. A recording of his work is available from Amazon.

* * * * *

The Gentle Reader should remember that the former GS-13 editor Cabin Boy™ once bragged that he scored a C- on an English test for non-native speakers.