Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Three years ago, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt had just lost LOLsuits III and IV and was in the process of getting his butt kicked in LOLsuit V. While I had been a defendant in III and IV, I wasn’t in V. However, because the case was being tried in Maryland, I often ran courthouse errands for the defendants. It was fun watching the Cabin Boy™ getting put through the ringer of actual motions practice in a federal court. As this Prevarication Du Jour from three years ago today shows, if was even more fun seeing his failure to grasp what was hitting him.

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grouch365|201507180221ZOf course, nothing I’ve written here at Hogewash! comes remotely close to undermining Patrick Grady’s arguments concerning personal jurisdiction in the Cabin Boy’s LOLsuit.

OTOH, Bill Schmalfeldt is a laughing matter.

I don’t mean that his lawfare shouldn’t be taken seriously. It must be. What I mean is that he is not a serious person himself. He is an intellectual lightweight. He has an overinflated ego. And he is in over his head.

He is also vile and has spent much of the past decade inflicting himself on others via the Internet. XMFan, Daily Kos, Facebook, etc., have banned or suspended him. He now maintains his presence by moving from blog to blog and Twitter account to Twitter account while playing musical chairs with Internet radio feeds. And his faildoxes keep on coming.

A couple of years ago, some folks, I was among them, had had enough of the Cabin Boy™, and we began taking legal action against him. I was the first to be successful, but others have also succeeded in getting restraining orders against him. Schmalfeldt has tried various legal counterattacks, and all have failed or are failing. Schmalfeldt has further beclowned himself with his lawfare.

While Schmalfledt’s lawfare must be dealt with seriously in the courts of law, it should be subjected to ridicule in the courts of public opinion. Thus, one of my responses to his lawfare might be termed LOLfare. Somethings simply deserve to be laughed at.

UPDATE—Caution! Crackpot Theory Alert!grouch365201507181322ZAlso, the Cabin Boy™ hereby demonstrates his inability to correctly read the emotional responses of others. There is a huge difference between anger and derisive laughter.

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When the Cabin Boy™ finally understood the hole he was digging for himself, he dismissed LOLsuit V with prejudice (but without understanding what that meant) and fled Maryland. Wisconsin, Iowa, South Carolina, New Mexico, South Carolina, Iowa, South Carolina, …

And so it goes.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Suppose we gave a hearing, and The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin didn’t deign to show up. Actually, we know what happens because he’s already pulled that stunt. The TKPOTD and a subsequent post from three years ago today have the details.

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There is a scheduling hearing on the docket of the Circuit Court for Montgomery County this morning in the Kimberlin v. Almost the Whole Universe, et al. RICO Retread LOLsuit. Scheduling hearings are usually just a quick meeting between the lawyers and the judge to set some due dates for things like discovery, notifications about witnesses, and the like. Today’s hearing may have a few extra … um … features.

popcorn4bkThe Gentle Reader may have noticed that I haven’t written much about this particular case. Frankly, my lawyer and I have been waiting to see what The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin was and wasn’t going to do. We’ve had no reason to tip our hand at this stage of the case. However, some things may come out in court this morning. If they do, I’ll write about them.

Stay tuned.

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The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin has not shown up for the hearing yet. They are trying to find him.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE—The hearing was continued until 3 September when it will be combined with hearings on motions to dismiss. TDPK must have all of his oppositions to all of the motions to dismiss filed not later than 1 September.

UPDATE 2—You know, it’s possible that I have visited more than one courthouse today.

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The Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin was sanctioned for his failure to appear at the hearing. He still hasn’t paid me, but I’m not finished with him yet.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


One common characteristic among the members of Team Kimberlin is a lack of musical talent. Rather than admit his inadequacy, The Dread Deadbeat Performer Kimberlin has tried to sue some of us who have commented on his musicianship. The TKPOTD from four years ago today dealt with his claim in his RICO Madness LOLsuit that my codefendants and I had tried to ruin his career.

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The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tries to claim that my 21 codefendants and I did all sorts of mean things to him to ruin his business. This is from paragraph 265 of his second amended complaint in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.ECF 135-265Now, it is true that I have written a negative review of his musicianship.

Review: “Nothing Else” by Epoxy (#BrettKimberlin)

Originally posted on 17 July, 2012

Back in 2002, Brett Kimberlin fronted a band named Epoxy and released a CD called Nothing Else. The story he spun promoting the album was that it contained songs that he had written while he was being held as a political prisoner in the federal prison system.

The band consisted of Brett Kimberlin on guitar and vocals, Wade Matthews on Bass, and Robbie White on Drums. The genre of the album is someplace between grunge and punk, neither of which are among my favorite musical forms.

Let me first comment on Mr. Kimberlin’s voice. I had heard his speaking voice in court, and I understand why some people refer to it as whinny. His singing voice reminds me of the silly voice that Weird Al uses on tracks such as Eat It. Mrs. Hoge, who listened through the CD with me, said, “Eddie Haskell.” On most of the tracks his voice was off key, usually flat.

Most of the songs could have been filler tracks on a generic grunge album. Some of the alienation in them seems to be more appropriate for a 17 year old, not someone 30 years older. Mr. Kimberlin was in his late 40s when the recording was made. However, three of the songs stood out. Vicegrip was actually interesting musically. Donuts had clever lyrics. It’s about lousy prison food and would probably get a nod of approval from G. Gordon Liddy.

Then there’s the last cut Keyhole. It was outstandingly bad. Mrs. Hoge and I met while we were in the music business, and during her career as a recording engineer, she recorded more gold and platinum records than I did. Her comment was, “If you’re gonna mike a guitar that close, you should use a better guitar and make sure it’s in tune. And get a better guitar player.”

While he didn’t do especially well with the acoustic guitar on Keyhole, Brett Kimberlin is actually a reasonably good guitarist. He probably couldn’t cut it in Nashville or LA, but could make a living in a minor market (such as Seattle) or playing the Holiday Inn circuit. Indeed, the world would be a better place if he did ignore the usual advice and give up his day job.

Nothing Else by Epoxy (Pollen Records, $16.04 from Amazon) is interesting because of who recorded it, but I can’t honestly recommend it for the musical experience it offers.

The CD is no longer reliably available on Amazon

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The original publication of that review resulted in Hogewash!‘s first Instalanche. There were probably more hits on that review over the next couple of days than on the jtmp dot org website for the next year.

The Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin’s plan for brass knuckles reputation management wasn’t any better than his music.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Bullies think it’s unfair when you hit them back—which is why it’s not surprising that Bill Schmalfeldt whines and threatens the direst of dire direness whenever someone takes any step that might result in the Cabin Boy™ being held accountable for his actions. Three years ago, Schmalfeldt was in the midst of a flurry of LOLsuits. LOLsuit III had been thrown out because he sued in a court lacking jurisdiction., LOLsuit IV had been thrown out for improper venue, and LOLsuit V was just getting under way. The TKPOTD from three years ago today dealt with the Cabin Boy’s™ upset over being called a “deranged cyberstalker.”

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The Cabin Boy™ has his panties in a knot because folks refer to him as a “deranged cyberstalker.” (Stacy McCain deserves credit for first referring to Schmalfeldt that way.) Aside from the fact that expressing the opinion that Schmalfeld is a deranged cyberstalker is protected speech under the First Amendment, he is admittedly demented (deranged and demented are synonyms), and he is an adjudicated harasser. Since his harassing was done on line, that fits the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of cyberstalking. Thus, calling him a deranged cyberstalker is not only protected opinion, it is also an true statement backed by the facts.

TheDerangedCyberstalkerAdditionally, the Cabin Boy™ has promoted his identity as The Deranged Cyberstalker through the sale of a CD of his “comedy” bits. While that CD appears to be out of print, the tracks are still available for download from iTunes and Amazon. Note: Amazon’s MP3 downloads are cheaper and will play on Apple devices.

Imagine the cross examination in court …

Q: You say you were defamed and damaged by being called a “deranged cyberstalker.” Is that correct?

A: Yes.

Q: I show you the items marked as Defense Exhibits 11 and 12. They are screen shots from iTunes and Amazon, respectively. Can you identify the downloads offered for sale?

If the Cabin Boy™ is very lucky, Schmalfeldt v. Grady (, et al. ?) will be dismissed with prejudice.

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Indeed, LOLsuit V was dismissed with prejudice on a motion filed by Schmalfeldt himself. Dismissal with prejudice in a finding on the merits, so it would appear that the Cabin Boy™ admitted that his claims were bogus. Not longer after dismissing his LOLsuit, he fled the state of Maryland.

Nothing proceeded as he had hallucinated.

Gilmore v. Jones, et al. News


The defendants have filed their replies to Gilmore’s opposition to their motions to dismiss. Here is Allen West’s.

Here is the reply from Jones, Infowars, Free Speech Systems, and McAdoo.

Here is the reply from Hoft, Stranahan, Creighton, Wilburn, Hickford, and Words-N-Ideas.

A common theme among the defendants’ replies seems to be “Look, we have made evidence-based attacks on Gilmore’s assertion that the Court has jurisdiction which he did not bother to answer.”

Hoft, Stranahan, Creighton, Wilburn, Hickford, and Words-N-Ideas also filed an opposition to the amicus brief submitted by the First Amendment and Media Law “Scholars.”

The court has scheduled a hearing on the motions to dismiss for 10 am on 13 November.

Stay tuned.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


For all the whining that Team Kimberlin does about false narratives, you’d think they’d do a better job of spinning their tales. However, their such bad liars that catching them is usually trivially easy. The TKPODT from four years ago shows one example.

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Here’s part of the story The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin tried to spin for the court when he got caught forging a summons in the Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.ECF 102-3The sharp-eyed Gentle Reader should note two things in that clipping. First, TDPK claims that the Clerk sent him 21 summonses. Second, the clipping wraps between two pages of the docket entry, so the Electronic Comment Filing System tag is visible. Notice that is shows the number of pages in the docket item.

Here’s the ECF tag for the docket item posted by the Clerk that shows all of the summonses issued.ECF 4

Each summons is one page long. Therefore, the number of summonses issued was …?

Let’s not always see the same hands.

That’s right! 18.

BTW, an earlier docket item shows the proposed summonses that TDPK sent to the court. There are 19 of them. Can you guess which one the Clerk didn’t issue?

That’s right, the one for Twitchy. Perhaps because Twitchy was not listed in the caption of the lawsuit as a defendant.

Still, with only 19 proposed summonses submitted, where does TDPK come up with the expectation of 21. Well, he did leave a couple of defendants listed in the caption off of his list of summonsees: Kimberlin Unmasked and Mandy Nagy.

#Loser

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Math is hard. So is the Truth.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


In June, 2013, the Circuit Court for Carroll County issued a peace order against Bill Schmalfeldt requiring him to refrain from contacting me in any way for six months. On the evening of 7 July, 2013, I checked my Twitter timeline and found a tweet which I published as the TKPOTD five years ago today.

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Contacting me via that tweet started the chain of events leading to the first of a half-dozen or so charges (over 360 counts) of failure to obey a peace order and harassment being issued against Schmalfeldt by District Court Commissioners. It was also the first of almost 500 instances of unwanted contacts that led the Circuit Court to renew the peace order in December, 2013.

The real pushback against the Cabin Boy’s™ cyberthuggery was beginning. Within a year, he would have filed and withdrawn his first LOLsuit against bloggers and commenters who wrote truthfully about him and his activities. It’s been downhill for him ever since, and I not through with him yet.