Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


SOUND: (Caller’s POV) Phone rings twice.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) L-B-S.

JOHNNY: Hey, it’s Johnny Atsign.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. If you’re calling this late, it must mean you’re still out of town.

JOHNNY: Yep. I’ll be out on this case for a while.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Getting any fishing done.

JOHNNY: Not much yet, but it’s possible to fish for rainbow trout in one of the city parks in this town. But let’s get to why I called. The Grouch has been trying to forge a bunch of stuff recently, but The Bomber has an even longer record of faking stuff.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh.

JOHNNY: (Fading out) There’s an episode from …

ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.

JOHNNY: What’s up, Aaron?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) The Bomber’s filed that report the judge ordered.

JOHNNY: Which one? The one about service in the RICO suit?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, and some of the exhibits don’t add up

JOHNNY: And you want me to do some digging?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) You got it.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Three years ago today, I posted a notice In Re a Peace Order Violation.

* * * * *

I have been informed that the Carroll County Sheriff’s Office in cooperation with the State’s Attorney’s Office filed a criminal charge of failure to comply with a peace order against Bill Schmalfeldt today.

I do not wish to make any further comment on the matter.

* * * * *

Schmalfledt was charged after sending me an email concerning medical care for Mrs. Hoge who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. Initially, I was going to ignore his email, but I was advised by a federal law enforcement agency to report the matter to the Carroll County Sheriff’s Office. The federal agency was investigating emails sent to the Administrator of NASA and the Director of Goddard Space Flight Center. I had been interviewed at a witness concerning the target(s) of their investigation and asked to advise them of any further contact by Bill Schmalfeldt (among others).

And that’s all I have to say about that case.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny left this afternoon muttering something about trout fishing on the Rio Grande. We’re presenting this vintage episode in his absence.

ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good afternoon, Johnny. Whatcha doin’?

JOHNNY: Hi. I’m not doing anything.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Nothing?

JOHNNY: Well, I’m drinking a cup of coffee, but otherwise, I’m taking a day off.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) You may want to take a look at The Grouch’s Twitter feed.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

Blogsmoke


SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3 Continue reading

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


A couple of years ago, our LULZ muscles were still in the throws of LOLsuit  VI: The Undiscovered Krendler when the Cabin Boy™ submitted an obviously altered document as an exhibit to a filing in that case. I pointed to his screw up in a Legal LULZ Du Jour posted two years ago today.

* * * * *

This is from an exhibit submitted by the Cabin Boy™ as evidence with both his Complaint and Proposed Amended Complaint in his LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.Hoge or Johnson

It appears to be altered.

IANAL, but I’ve been told that it’s a bad idea to proffer an altered document to a court of law.

* * * * *

Schmalfeldt’s reaction to that post resulted in a massive dose of PLM when I suggested that it was time for him to Put Up or Shut Up about his “evidence.”

* * * * *

Back in November, I received an email from the Cabin Boy™ that included the an image and text from email that he claimed had be sent to the property management company that manages the apartment build where he lives. I posted that email and a second one from him here.

The Cabin Boy™ quotes the first of those two email texts he sent to me in Exhibit 4 of his Proposed Amended Complaint in the LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler. As the Gentle Reader can see, the original version of the exhibit alleged that I sent the email to the property management company, but The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has altered the document to accuse Eric Johnson.

That raises the question of what evidence he has that either one of us sent the email. In the unlikely event that his LOLsuit survives the motions to dismiss, the Cabin Boy™ will undoubtedly have to produce any evidence he has about who sent that email as a part of discovery, and it will surely come out in the open either as part of a motion for summary judgment or at trial. (Stop laughing.) Therefore, if Schmalfeldt has any confidence in his case, he should go ahead and post the email with all its headers.

Of course, it could be that the Cabin Boy™ is simply lying again, and given his track record, that’s not an unreasonable assumption. Come to think of it, that’s probably the only reasonable assumption, and I believe I will adopt it as my publicly stated belief. Of course, if Schmalfeldt were to post proof … but how likely is that?

UPDATE—Cheddar201602070309Z

(c) Whoever corruptly—
(1) alters, destroys, mutilates, or conceals a record, document, or other object, or attempts to do so, with the intent to impair the object’s integrity or availability for use in an official proceeding; or
(2) otherwise obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding, or attempts to do so,
shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.

—18 U.S.C. 1512

* * * * *

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for —

SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Well, hello!

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Did you follow The Grouch’s antics over the weekend?

JOHNNY: Nope. I went fishing. What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) He’s threatening to file another LOLsuit.

JOHNNY: Good. That will make my life easier.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading