It’s been remarked that first-rate people hire first-rate people and that second-rate people hire third-rate people. Brett Kimberlin hired Bill Schmalfeldt as a PR flack, and the Cabin Boy™ … well, let’s just say that when he really worked hard, he sometimes managed to make the cut for mediocrity. Ten years ago today, this post, #BillSchmalfeldt Explains Why bin Ladin Was Not a Terrorist, took a look at some of Schmalfeldt’s logic.

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RadioWMS @aaronworthing doesn’t know any terrorists. As a lawyer, he understands that is a legal definition. One must be accused and convicted of…
8:37 PM – 20 Jul 13

RadioWMS …terrorism to be accurately referred to as a “terrorist.” You would think an actual lawyer would understand that distinction.
8:38 PM – 20 Jul 13

Osama bin Ladin was never convicted of anything. Thus, by the ace legal analysis of Sore Loserman Bill Schmalfeldt, he was not a terrorist.

Someone better recall the SEALs.

UPDATE—It’s possible that the Cabin Boy is mistaken in his understanding of the meaning of terrorism.

18 USC § 2331—Definitions

As used in this chapter—

(1) the term “international terrorism” means activities that—
(A) involve violent acts or acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State, or that would be a criminal violation if committed within the jurisdiction of the United States or of any State;
(B) appear to be intended—
(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;
(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or
(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and
(C) occur primarily outside the territorial jurisdiction of the United States, or transcend national boundaries in terms of the means by which they are accomplished, the persons they appear intended to intimidate or coerce, or the locale in which their perpetrators operate or seek asylum;
…
(5) the term “domestic terrorism” means activities that—
(A) involve acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State;
(B) appear to be intended—
(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;
(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or
(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and
(C) occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States.

I think most folks would agree that Osama bin Ladin met this definition of an “international terrorist.” And that Brett Kimberlin meets the this definition of a “domestic terrorist.”

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And Brett Kimberlin is still the Speedway Bomber.