This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran seven years ago today.

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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

JUAREZ: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign, my name is Angelo Juarez. I’m with the Compliance Department with CloudServices. I have a subpoena here with your name as a contact.

JOHNNY: That’s a subpoena for information about BunnyBoyInc, isn’t it?

JUAREZ: (Telephone Filter) That’s correct. It’s a free account, so there isn’t any billing information. However, we can provide the contact information.

JOHNNY: Will you be providing it electronically or in writing?

JUAREZ: (Telephone Filter) A mix of them. I’ll mail you the information on a DVD.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the First-Class Service Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @BunnyBoy Are you being served?

JOHNNY: A couple of day later, a package with that DVD arrived. It was full of useful information, some of which confirmed data that had come in as a result of subpoenas sent to other hosting services. Taken together, [redacted]

[redacted]

DEPUTY CLERK: (Telephone Filer) No, that’s not a problem. We can hold them for pick up.

ANNOUNCER: There are all sorts of useful trinkets with the Team Lickspittle, Res Judicata, Johnny Atsign, and The Grand Hog logos at The Hogewash Store. Why not go by today and spend a bit of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle? All those goodies are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.

POSTAL CLERK: Hey, Johnny! I have seen you in here for a while.

JOHNNY: Hi, Bill. No, I’ve been using the kiosk late at night.

POSTAL CLERK: Whacha got for me?

JOHNNY: Just a few Certified letters.

POSTAL CLERK: Need receipts?

JOHNNY: Yeah. Here are the green cards, and they’re marked for Restricted Delivery.

POSTAL CLERK: Hmmm. California, Arizona, and Texas. Some of these could take three days by First Class.

JOHNNY: That’s OK.

POSTAL CLERK: Right. Hold on a bit.

SOUND: Rubber stamps used. Scale beeps.

POSTAL CLERK: OK, now slide your card.

JOHNNY: And the papers were on their way.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Service with a smile—or at least a grin.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Some things don’t appeal to everyone. Join us, won’t you.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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A grin or, perhaps, a smirk.