This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran nine years ago today.
* * * * *
ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) Hello, Mr. Atsign. My name is Bob Cousy.
JOHNNY: Not *The* Bob Cousy who played for the Celtics. I’m a fan.
COUSY: No. Just *A* Bob Cousy. I hadn’t been born when that Bob Cousy was playing point guard. I’m calling about The Grouch.
JOHNNY: What about him?
COUSY: This has come out left field … sorry to mix my sports metaphors … but he’s suddenly started harassing my wife and me. And our baby.
JOHNNY: So why are you calling me?
COUSY: I’m told you might be helpful.
JOHNNY: Perhaps. Tell me your story.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Asign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Hey, @TheGrouch, another #faildox.
JOHNNY: The Grouch had become more strident and reckless in his tweets and blog posts as he became more isolated on the Internet. He attempted to push back against those holding him accountable for his behavior with what appeared to be a coordinated effort involving a sympathetic, but blatantly false, piece published at a website for which he had formerly written and the release of a hastily assembled ebook documenting the harassment he claimed he was being subjected to.
The ebook was mostly recycled blog posts. The bulk of them were from The Grouch’s own web rantings, but large parts of a couple of chapters were lifted from other bloggers. The ebook was available over a weekend, but by the beginning of the next week it was no longer available. It had been pulled because of a copyright complaint.
The Grouch responded by publishing a hard copy version of the ebook with a new title using a print-to-order service. That lasted about a day before it was taken down by a similar copyright complaint.
After being held to account for his copyright violations, The Grouch went into an online rage. He acted out his anger by publishing the personal information of persons who he perceived were tormenting him. That’s called “doxing” in online slang. One of the the people he doxed was Bob Cousy.
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) (Fading up.) … and then he sent emails to my wife’s employer.
JOHNNY: That’s not unusual for him.
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) What ripped it for me is when he posted a picture of our infant.
JOHNNY: Again, I’m not surprised that he would do that. Look, have you called the cops about this?
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, our local Sheriff’s Department. They referred me to our local courts, and a judge has issued a restraining order. Or I should say, a couple of restraining orders. There’s one for my wife as well. The problem I have now is how to get this guy served. I’m in Arizona, and he’s in Maryland.
JOHNNY: You can have your sheriff fax it to the sheriff in The Grouch’s home county. I can give you the contact info. Have you got a pencil handy?
ANNOUNCER: Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Johnny Atsign? You can show you support by wearing Team Lickspittle gear. The Grand Hog, Johnny Atsign, Team Lickspittle, and Res Judicata merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle.
JOHNNY: You’d think that after being served with a pair of restraining orders The Grouch would leave the Cousy family alone, but that’s not his way. He cranked out another book and included a bunch of the doxing in it.
SOUND: Skype rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign. You’re not going to believe what The Grouch has done.
JOHNNY: I’ll bet you calling about his new book.
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) Oh, have you seen it?
JOHNNY: Yeah. What are you going to do?
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) I own the photograph of our child. The hospital staff took it, but it was work for hire.
JOHNNY: So you’re going to file a copyright notice?
COUSY: (Telephone Filter) (Fading out.) For openers. We’ll see what other steps I have to take …
COUSY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign Guess what’s no longer available on Amazon?
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? A picture can be worth a thousand words … or up to ten years. Join us, won’t you?
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
* * * * *
It seems that The Grouch eventually fouled out.