This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran nine years ago today.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Hi, Aaron. You’re up early.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Actually, I’m still up late.
JOHNNY: What kept you up?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Easter eggs.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.
AARON TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign Yeah! I found the Easter egg.
SOUND: Road Noise. Car Interior POV.
JOHNNY: I suppose I should tell those of you who don’t know what an “Easter egg” is. It’s a computer programming term for a pleasant surprise hidden in a program or document. There was such a surprise in a docket item in one of The Bomber cases. Aaron had found it too, and I was headed for a meeting with him to go over future areas of investigation.
SOUND: Cell phone rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, have you left yet?
JOHNNY: I’m on the road.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Have you crossed the river yet?
JOHNNY: No. I’ve only been driving for about 10 minutes.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Good. Can you swing by the courthouses in Rockville?
JOHNNY: Yes, but it will make me late.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) That’s not a problem. There’s a list of court papers you need to pick up. We need to compare them with the federal filings.
JOHNNY: (Fading Out) OK. Look there’s a park-n-ride coming up. Let me pull in there and write down the list …
SOUND: Road Noise Out.
ANNOUNCER: The first crocus popped up in the lawn outside the studio last week, but it’s snowing today. Warmer weather is coming, but it’s still cool enough that a Team Lickspittle hoodie provides just the right amount of warmth while shoveling the walk. The hoodies are just some of the trinkets you can find to waste your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle.
AARON: (Fading In) … so you take half of the case dockets. It won’t take long to go through them looking for the evidence.
JOHNNY: OK. Hand me half of the pile. Let’s get started.
And so for the next hour or so we worked page by page through the case dockets on various cases filed by The Bomber. I was just about to take a break for a cup of coffee when …
Hey, Aaron. Take a look.
AARON: Oh. Yeah. That’ll do. That shows the same sort of activity in a state case as we found in the federal. It begins to establish a pattern.
JOHNNY: Yeah. And I’ll bet this isn’t the only one we’ll find when we get to the bottom of the pile.
AARON: No bet. Look, flag that page. Let’s take a break for a few minutes and then get back to it.
JOHNNY: Works for me.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JokerHQ Don’t worry. We have an ace up our sleeve.
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? The more things change, the more they stay the same. Join us, won’t you?
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
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Telling a lie in a court paper is stupid. Telling a contradictory lie in dcourt court paper in a related case is more stupid. Telling a contradictory lie in a court paper filed in the same case is about as stupid as stupid can be.