Team Kimberlin often complained they were the victims of false narrative while being the source of narrative that were not only obviously false but also mind-bogglingly stupid. Consider this Prevarication Du Jour from seven years ago today.

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The Cabin Boy™ has posted what he claims to be the text of an unsolicited comment he allegedly received to one of his posts. He says that he believes that the comment is from [redacted] in Manassas, Virginia. He claims to have traced the IP address back to a cell tower near where [redacted] lives, and he provides a map with the location of the cell tower shown.

According to the several utility databases, there is a cell tower within a few dozen feet of the location shown. However, according to the FCC, [redacted]’s cellular provider is not on that tower. Moreover, why would [redacted] use his cellular connection if he were at home. Even he were using his phone instead of a computer, he would more likely use a wi-fi connection into his landline cable provider to avoid data charges and for higher speed.

This leaves several possibilities. One is that one of the Cabin Boy™ “friends” is pranking him. Another is that the whole thing is a lie. Or perhaps it’s something else.

UPDATE—I’ve just verified how IP addressing works for mobile devices. The IP address seen by the Internet looking back at a mobile device is actually the address of a server at the cellular ISPs point-of-presence. For example, my portable wi-fi hotspot is sitting on our kitchen table in Westminster, Maryland, and I can see the lights on the carrier’s tower out the living room window, but the IP address associated with it on the Internet is in Arlington, Virginia.

In order to determine the address of a connection all the way back to a cell tower, one needs to go through the carrier’s internal connection logs. That requires a subpoena. How many of you think that the Cabin Boy™ was able to get a subpoena for information sent this afternoon, serve the subpoena, and get the response from [redacted]’s cell phone carrier in a matter of a few hours? For that matter, how many think he could get such a subpoena in the first place?

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Schmalfeldt posted a comment which I let through moderation— To which one of the Gentle Readers replied—