MUSIC: Theme. Intro and fade under.
NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
MUSIC: Up, then under …
NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. A public figure awaiting trial for cyberharassment and hacking has accused a writer of stalking and harassing her via an article posted on the Internet. Your job … get the facts.
MUSIC: Up then under …
ANNOUNCER: Blognet … the documented drama of an actual case. For the next few minutes, in cooperation with the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the good guys through an actual case transcribed from official files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment, Blognet is the story of the good guys in action.
MUSIC: Up and out.
SOUND: Footsteps in hallway.
FRIDAY: It was Thursday, April 22nd. It was a clear and mild in the Westminster. We were working the day watch out of Internet Detail. My partner’s Liz Smith. The Boss is Twitter Town Sheriff W. J. J. Hoge. My name’s Friday. It was 11:22 am I walked back from the mailroom to Room S-121. Internet Detail.
SOUND: Door opens and closes.
SMITH: Doesn’t look like much snail mail today.
FRIDAY: Yeah, the only thing that looks interesting is this one from Montgomery County.
SMITH: Court audio?
FRIDAY: Looks like it. It’s the sort of envelope they use for CD.
SOUND: Envelope torn open.
FRIDAY: Yep. It’s a CD. Zones v. Puller.
SMITH: That flaky peace order case?
FRIDAY: Uh, huh. The case file wasn’t available in the Clerk’s Office when I went down there, so I ordered a copy of the audio so we could listen to what Zones told the judge.
SMITH: Hand it over. Your new laptop doesn’t have an optical drive, but this old workstation does.
FRIDAY: Here you go.
SMITH: I’ll convert the files to .mp3 and email ’em to you.
SOUND: CD inserted into drive. Key and mouse clicks.
SMITH: Well, it looks like you’re in luck, Joe.
FRIDAY: How’s that?
SMITH: The courtroom audio files only last 10 minutes each, and there are only two on the disk. The hearing can’t be longer than 20 minutes.
FRIDAY: So 20 minutes or less of craziness.
SMITH: How crazy can it be?
FRIDAY: It’s Montgomery County.
FRIDAY: 2:46 pm. I finished my review of Zones’ conversation with the judge during the hearing and manually corrected the speech-to-text transcription errors. Then, I passed the files off to Liz for a second check.
SMITH: Wow! If even a little bit of the stuff she’s claiming is true, this would be quite a cyberharassment case.
FRIDAY: Zones made herself a public figure by claiming that a state government was publishing fraudulent Covid data. Most people would think that’s a matter of public concern. And going after the state’s governor makes the controversy she’s stirred up political. Giving the public information about that sort of political matter is specifically protected in the Maryland harassment statute, so I don’t think it can be used to trigger a peace order. And even if she could show that she has been harassed, how can she prove that Puller did it?
SMITH: There’s the rub. For example, she claims that Puller impersonated a federal official in order get her IP address. She says that Puller sent her an email, but how could she prove who sent it? Does she expect Puller to authenticate it?
FRIDAY: Maybe she does. Or maybe she thinks the court will take her word for everything and she won’t be cross-examined.
SMITH: The thing that stood out to me was that harass-a-thon characterization of a group of bloggers following The Other McCoy’s suggestion for an everybody blog day. Writing factually about her background and activities isn’t harassment.
FRIDAY: And there’s an authentication issue on that as well. How could she prove that Puller has ever had any contact with McCoy?
SMITH: You want me to write this up.
FRIDAY: No. I’ll do it. This one’s crazy but straightforward.
SMITH: A short report?
FRIDAY: Yeah. There’s no there there.
NARRATOR: On April 30th, a hearing was held in the District Court for Montgomery County on the petition for a final peace order in Zones v. Puller. In a moment the results of that hearing.
ANNOUNCER: Mmmm, coffee. Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Blognet? Why not sip your coffee from a Hogewash! Murum Aries Attigit Coffee Mug? Murum Aries Attigit, Res Judicata, Team Lickspittle, The Grand Hog, Collateral Estoppel, and Johnny Atsign merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar
NARRATOR: On April 30th, a hearing was held in the District Court for Montgomery County on the petition for a final peace order in Zones v. Puller. The court found that Zones had no evidence to support her claims. The peace order petition as denied.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: You have just heard Blognet, a series of authentic cases from official files. Technical advice comes from the office of the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Blognet is a work of fiction. Anyone who thinks it’s about him should read Proverbs 28:1.
This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.