This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first appeared five years ago today.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny. Thanks for that initial report on The Grouch
AARON:: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, initial. There’s something else to look into.
JOHNNY: Now what?
AARON: Take a look at his Twitter timeline and then give me a call.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the Cheesy Hot Shot Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Running scared?
JOHNNY: The Grouch had filed another of his LOLsuits and had quickly dismissed most of the defendants when he found that one other them had hired a lawyer. He continued to press the suit against the two remaining defendants,crowing on Twitter and his various blogs about how he would easily win when they defaulted.
And then the lawyer who was representing them filed a motion to dismiss.
AARON (Telephone Filter) (Fading up) … it’s a real piece of work.
JOHNNY: I can’t see how he thinks filing a piece of nonsense like this going to help his case. Shouldn’t he be addressing [redacted]?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) I wouldn’t advise him to take this approach, but I’m not his lawyer. Look, if he wants to make it easier for me to defend my clients, I’m willing to let him.
JOHNNY: But this declaration from The Bomber is pure fiction.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Of course it is, and that’s one of the things I want your help with. You were involved in investigating some of the things The Bomber brings up.You worked with my lawyer preparing my defense when The Bomber sued me. I’d like copies of the reports you sent him.
JOHNNY: No problem. You were the ultimate client, so I can do that.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) (Fading out) Especially those court records you picked up in the midwest when …
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JOHNNY: I got the reports Aaron wanted together and headed down to his law office.
AARON: Thanks, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Anything else?
AARON: As a matter of fact, yes. Take a look at this email and the attachments.
SOUND: Pages flipped.
JOHNNY: Whoa! Another one?
AARON: Yeah. [redacted]
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber One does not simply lie in a declaration to the court and expect not to get burned.
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? A deadline draws nearer. Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
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What was that definition of insanity? Oh, yeah …