Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

After all the nonsense of 2016, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System crew was ready for some end-of-the-year time off. This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran four years ago today.

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Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

CALLER: (Telephone Filter) I’d like to order a pizza to go. Hold the anchovies.

JOHNNY: You’ve got the wrong number.

CALLER: (Telephone Filter) Awwww, they never deliver up here anymore.

SOUND: (Johnny’s POV) Line hung up. Dial tone.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the Holiday Dinner Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Who ordered the pizza without anchovies?

JOHNNY: Actually, I knew who made that call. It was a coded message, something that occasionally is useful in my line of work.

SOUND: Coins inserted in vending machine. Drink delivered.

PINKY: Hey, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Hi, Pinky. What’s up?

PINKY: Just taking a break. How’re your holidays shaping up?

JOHNNY: I’ll probably just spend a few quiet days with my brother at his place. What about you?

PINKY: Nothing special this year. Just taking it easy after all of 2016’s weirdness.

SOUND: Soda can opened.

PINKY: And I’ve got the last of my shopping done. I did everything online this year. I’ve had it with malls.

JOHNNY: There’re some nice stores on Main Street.

PINKY: I suppose, but The Hogewash Store delivers.

ANNOUNCER: That’s right, Pinky. Stocking stuffers are still available at The Hogewash Store, and we also appreciate support via the Tip Jar.

Say, is there any coffee left?

BRAIN: I was just about to make a fresh pot. What’ll it be, Kona or Blue Mountain?

JOHNNY: I could use another cup of Blue Mountain.

ANNOUNCER: (Fading out) I see the Boss as bought more of those Murum Aries Attigit Mugs and some of the …

SOUND: (Interior POV) Highway road noise.

JOHNNY: It’s a full day’s drive to my brother’s place. He’s providing all the side dishes for Christmas dinner this year, and I’m providing the main course. He knows I like to fish, but he didn’t want me to bring something I’ve caught. He wanted something from the land. I also hunt.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) I’m bringing the venison.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? A week off! Join us after the first of the year, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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It turns out that 2020 was stranger still.

BTW, Johnny is still getting coded messages and other information from informants. He may be able to report on some new investigations in 2021.

Stay tuned.

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