Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign is from four years ago today. It deals with an example of Teslacle’s Deviant to Fudd’s First Law.

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Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Landline phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Mr. Atsign.

JOHNNY: Yes?

DEEP VOTE: (Telephone Filter) I have some more information for you. Meet me at the usual place and time.

SOUND: (Called Party’s POV) Line hung up. Dial tone.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of The Helpful Hint Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @DeepVote Why do we always do this in the middle of the night?

JOHNNY: At 12:15 am, precisely, the next morning, I drove into the designated parking garage, parked on the second level, and took the stairs up to the fourth level. I began walking to the far end.

SOUND: Footsteps with echo.

JOHNNY: The voice came from behind me.

DEEP VOTE: Good morning, Mr. Atsign.

SOUND: Footsteps stop.

JOHNNY: I turned around, and, as usual, he was standing in the shadows.

DEEP VOTE: I’m pleased that you’re on time again.

JOHNNY: OK. What do you have for me?

DEEP VOTE: Advice.

JOHNNY: Just more advice?

DEEP VOTE: Yes. Do you remember what I told you the last time?

JOHNNY: “Follow the money.”

DEEP VOTE: Yes. Follow the money.

JOHNNY: That’s usually good advice, but why tell me the same thing again?

DEEP VOTE: I believe you know a bit about bookkeeping.

JOHNNY: Yeah.

DEEP VOTE: What’s the difference between credit and debit?

JOHNNY: Basically, it’s whether the funds are coming or going.

DEEP VOTE: Exactly. Money can move both ways.

JOHNNY: Yeah?

DEEP VOTE: Money can both come and go. Get some sleep, and then review what I’ve told you.

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JOHNNY: It was well past 1 am by the time I got back to my place. I figured that I could sleep in just a bit. I set the alarm for 7:30.

SOUND: Alarm beeping, followed by NPR’s Morning Edition through a small speaker.

JOHNNY: (Groggy) Ugh.

SOUND: Clock radio pounded. Morning Edition quits abruptly.

JOHNNY: I stumbled through my morning routine and, after several cups of coffee, made it into my office. I began to puzzle though the lead I had been given earlier.

Follow the money. Which way?

I had already come across The Bomber’s use of corporate funds from one of his “charities” to finance, at least partially, one of his lawsuits. But that seemed to have been pretty completely run to ground, and I’d been concentrating on his income stream.

OK. If the information I needed had to do with expenses, what expenses? I had receipts from courts showing corporate funds being used for the lawsuits. What other expense … then I realized …

JOHNNY TWEETS: @DeepVote Sometimes things are exactly what they seem.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? Who’s buying? Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

* * * * *

Ah, but what went where? And to whom?

That’s another story that Johnny says he’s not ready to tell. Yet.

1 thought on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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