The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray. That proverb also applies to manatees and cyberstalkers as can be seen in this episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign from three years ago today.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Phone rings once. Telephone handset picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
PHONE SPAM: (Telephone Filter) Hello! It’s me. I though I’d call again about that …
SOUND: Telephone receiver slammed down.
JOHNNY: They’re at it again.
SOUND: Phone rings once. Telephone handset picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
PHONE SPAM: (Telephone Filter) Hello! It’s me. I though I’d call again about that …
SOUND: Telephone receiver slammed down.
JOHNNY: This happens every time one of ‘em has a setback in court.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during the Phone Prank Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch @TheBomber Which one of you got his butt kicked this time?
JOHNNY: There are online services that will allow you to send a spam telephone call to someone using a spoofed phone number for Caller ID. I started receiving such calls about 2-1/2 or 3 years ago. At first, phone numbers were random and usually from an out-of-state area code. When I started letting all out-of-state calls from numbers I didn’t recognize go to voicemail, the pranksters started using random numbers from local exchanges here in Westminster and the host exchange for my cell phone.
SOUND: Phone begins ringing.
JOHNNY: I’ll let that one ring through to voicemail. I do that for most unrecognized callers now.
SOUND: Phone ringing ends after the sixth ring.
JOHNNY: The pranksters think that using the online service has protected them from being identified. It might have. If they hadn’t been unfortunate in the selection of a couple of the random phone numbers.
SOUND: Phone rings six times and then stops.
ANNOUNCER: A Team Lickspittle Messenger Bag is a great way to keep your paperwork organized while you’re on the go. It’s just one of the useful trinkets with the Team Lickspittle, Res Judicata, Johnny Atsign, and The Grand Hog logos you’ll find at The Hogewash Store. Why not go by today and spend a bit of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle? All those goodies are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.
JOHNNY: One of the random numbers belonged to a county government office. When I called them to let them know that their number had been spoofed, they were not amused. Another of the random phone numbers was even more intriguing.
SOUND: Phone begins ringing.
JOHNNY: It turned out to be the private cell phone number of a former Attorney General.
SOUND: Phone ringing ends after the sixth ring.
JOHNNY TWEETS: @TheGrouch @TheBomber Sometimes a random connection leads to someone with excellent connections.
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? A time out. Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
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Some stories make me smile.