This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign is from four years ago today.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. It’s Bob Bailey. Have you heard about The Bomber’s latest suit?
JOHNNY: I heard he was appealing recent loss in federal court. What else is he up to?
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Remember how he tried to make a state case out of the dismissed state claims in his first RICO suit?
JOHNNY: Yeah. You don’t mean …
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Right! He’s recycling the state claims from the second case now.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the I Spy Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber Do you ever get tired of striking out?
JOHNNY: Bob Bailey was one of my predecessors in this investigation racket and has been a friend and mentor. When he calls, I listen.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) (fading in) … so I’ve sent you an email with a copy of the docket for the new state case.
JOHNNY: Yeah. I see it. I’m opening it up now.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Scroll down through it and tell me if you see anything interesting.
JOHNNY: It looks like the same cast of defendants … uh, no … he’s dropped one of my clients from the list.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh. Why do you suppose?
JOHNNY: The obvious reason would be that he’s finally figured out that res judicata would apply to his claims again.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Could be, but isn’t your client suing The Bomber?
JOHNNY: Yes, and The Bomber’s been dodging service.
BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Of course, if The Bomber sued him again, couldn’t your client simply solve his service of process problem by filing the claims from his suit as counterclaims in The Bomber’s?
JOHNNY: Hmmm. Either one is a reason to have dropped him, but they require The Bomber to have more foresight than he’s shown in the past.
ANNOUNCER: Spring has sprung. With warmer-but-not-hot weather coming, a Hogewash! Res Judicata long-sleeve t-shirt could be just the thing for casual wear. It’s exclusively available along with lots of other goodies at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today and spend some of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle. Or hit the Tip Jar. They’re both ways you can support the Team.
SOUND: Traffic noise / busy street corner
JOHNNY: It turned out that The Bomber had not only refiled the dismissed claims from his federal suit in state court, he had also filed an appeal in the federal RICO suit. That meant that both my clients were still on the hook for that appeal. I had driven down to Montgomery County to pick up a copy of the complaint The Bomber had filed in this new case. I was waiting to cross the street in front of the courthouse when I heard a voice behind me.
AARON: Hey, Johnny! What are you doing here?
JOHNNY: Hello, Aaron. I could ask you the same question.
AARON: Yeah, but I asked first.
JOHNNY: I’m down here to pick up a complaint The Bomber has filed. Look. The light’s changed.
AARON: I heard that he’s refiled the claims for that second RICO case here in Montgomery County.
JOHNNY: Yep. That’s what I’m here for. How about you?
AARON: I’ve got a motions hearing coming up, and I need to research some stuff in the docket.
JOHNNY: Your suit against The Bomber?
AARON: Uh, huh.
SOUND: Traffic noise begins slow fade
JOHNNY: You know that The Bomber has also filed an appeal in the second RICO case?
AARON: That’s not my problem for now.
JOHNNY: For now?
SOUND: Traffic noise out
AARON: For now. Who knows about later. For now, I have my own case. But let me give you some non-legal advice about your clients’ case.
AARON: Buy popcorn futures.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber Not everyone has to pay a fee to be appealing.
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? Tick, tock. Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
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