Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


This episode of Blognet first ran two years ago today.

* * * * *

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

MUSIC: Up, then under …

NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. An cyberbully can’t handle satirical pushback and has filed a DMCA takedown notice of parody image incorporating his face. The parody appears to be protected by the Fair Use doctrine. Your job … get the facts.

MUSIC: Up then under …

ANNOUNCER: Blognet … the documented drama of an actual case. For the next few minutes, in cooperation with the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the good guys through an actual case transcribed from official files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment, Blognet is the story of the good guys in action.

MUSIC: Up and out.

SOUND: Footsteps in hallway.

FRIDAY: It was Thursday, July 25th. It was already a hot summer day in Westminster. We were working the day watch out of Internet Detail. My partner is Liz Smith. The boss is Twitter Town Sheriff W. J. J. Hoge. My name’s Friday. It was 6:53 am when I entered Room S-140. Internet Detail.

SOUND: Door opens and closes. Footsteps across room.

FRIDAY: Good morning, Liz.

SMTH: Hi, Joe. The coffee’s just finished dripping.

SOUND: Coffee being poored.

FRIDAY: Yeah. Smells good.

SOUND: Footsteps across room. Chair pulled out.

FRIDAY: What’s in the overnight report?

SMITH: Parvocampus. You remember he was threatening to file DMCA notices against those bloggers?

FRIDAY: Uh, huh.

SOUND: Keyboard typing and mouse clicks in background.

SMITH: He’s filed one.

FRIDAY: Who?

SMITH: Against the Boss.

FRIDAY: Hmmm. Yeah. I just saw the Sheriff’s email in my in basket. Let’s see … He says he’ll handle it, but to keep an eye out for notices aimed at other bloggers.

SMITH: You think Parvocampus will file any more of ’em?

FRIDAY: The race isn’t always to the swift or the battle always to the strong …

SMITH: Or the screwups to the stupid …

FRIDAY: But it’s the way to bet.

MUSIC: Stinger and under.

FRIDAY: Friday, July 26th. 11:16 am.

SMITH: Hey, Joe. Parvocampus has done it again. The Boss got hit with a second DMCA takedown.

FRIDAY: Any other bloggers hit?

SMITH: Yeah. It looks like The Other McCoy has been hit as well.

FRIDAY: He’s been around long enough to know what to do. I doubt he’ll need any help, but keep your eyes open.

Sunday, July 28th. Our rotation had us schedule to cover the weekend shifts. 1:17 pm.

SMITH: Hey, Joe. You should take a look at McCoy’s blog.

FRIDAY: Oh?

SOUND: Keyboard typing and mouse clicks in background.

SMITH: Yeah. He’s got a post up about Parvocampus and his DMCA nonsense. It must be four or five thousand words.

FRIDAY: I’m just pulling it up.

SMITH: Notice the word he keeps using to describe Parvocampus. It’s in ALLCAPS.

FRIDAY: CRAZY. That’s certainly an expert opinion.

SMITH: Parvocampus may be a GS-13 Editor, but McCoy is a genuine gonzo journalist. Parvocampus isn’t in the same league.

FRIDAY: Not many people are. You’d have to be either very naive or very stupid to try to outcrazy McCoy.

SMITH: I know which way I’d vote in this case.

MUSIC: Up and under.

NARRATOR: On August 9th, the Internet Service Provider took its final action in the matter of Parvocampus’ first DMCA takedown notice. In a moment, the result of that action.

MUSIC: Stinger.

ANNOUNCER: Winter has finally decided to stick around for a while. It’s gonna be one of those cold nights when you want to something warm to drink, say a good cup of coffee in a Johnny Atsign mug. Another good way to fight that chill is a Team Lickspittle blanket wrap. Why not get yours today? Team Lickspittle sweatshirts and hoodies are just some of the trinkets you can waste your hard-earned cash on, stuff exclusively available at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar or buy doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

NARRATOR: On August 9th, the Internet Service Provider took its final action in the matter of Parvocampus’ first DMCA takedown notice. The blogger put on notice filed an appropriate counter notice. Parvocampus faile to respond to the counter notice in a timely manner, and the blogger’s original post was restored. All of Parvocampus’ further related DMCA takedown notices were handled in the same manner.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: You have just heard Blognet, a series of authentic cases from official files. Technical advice comes from the office of the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Blognet is a work of fiction. Anyone who thinks it’s about him should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

* * * * *

Some people never seem understand the game they’re supposed to be playing. The rules of Old Maid’s don’t work when the game is really Fizzbin.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s