Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


This episode of Your Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran four years ago today. It was part of a larger group of posts that day. Scroll down.

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Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Hello! What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you been following The Grouch’s Twitter feed this weekend?

JOHNNY: No, I’ve took the weekend off again. And didn’t you ask me that question last week?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh, I did. He’s having another copyright meltdown.

JOHNNY: What now?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) It’s about the book he wrote that he said he didn’t write.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of It This Thing On Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch A is not not-A is a basic principle of logic.

JOHNNY: The Grouch was going crazy with threats of charges and prosecution because one of his books had been dropped by BigRiver because of a copyright issue. When it turned out that it was claimed that the infringement was against a blog post by one my clients, I decided to get in touch with BigRiver to see how they viewed the matter.

COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) (Fading in) … we choose not get involved in such disputes. Our default policy is to drop the item from our catalog until the parties come to a solution.

JOHNNY: But don’t you have to resume selling the book after 14 days if the person complaining doesn’t file suit?

COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) Not a printed book. Hard copy books aren’t online files. They’re physical objects. As such, there’s no way to restore an online file because one never existed. It would be the same for any other physical product that infringed someone’s intellectual property whether it was a copyright, a patent, or a trademark. We don’t get involved in disputes between our sellers and third-parties. If the matter is eventually resolved in the seller’s favor, then we’ll resume listing his goods. After all, selling stuff is how we make our living.

JOHNNY: My client is only claiming that a few paragraph of his were used without permission. Is that really enough to get a whole book dropped?

COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) We don’t get involved in other parties’ intellectual property claims. We don’t sell items that we know might be subject to such claims. So, yes, a few paragraphs or even a single picture can cause us to drop a physical item until the dispute is resolved. Online files are another matter. Depending on how the claim is presented, the DMCA can apply.

JOHNNY: So a DMCA counternotice … ?

COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) Wouldn’t be applicable to your clients’ claim.

JOHNNY: But what about the ebook version?

COPYRIGHT AGENT: (Telephone Filter) We don’t sell ebooks versions of hard copy books that have been dropped because of copyright claims. If the print book is reinstated, the ebook would be as well.

ANNOUNCER: I’m a bit old fashioned. I still like to read books printed on paper, and I like to have what I’m currently reading close at hand, so I use my Team Lickspittle Messenger Bag to carry my books. It’s just one on the many useful and useless items you’ll find exclusively at The HogeWash Store. Stop by today, spend some money, and support Team Lickspittle. And remember, folks, you can also support Team Lickspittle by hitting the Tip Jar.

JOHNNY: My next stop was another visit to the office of that lawyer I had worked with in a related case. My client had asked [redacted]

[redacted]

JOHNNY DMs: (SYNTH VOICE) @Zombie Are you on board too?

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch [redacted]

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction is supposed to make sense. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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This post titled The Cabin Boy™ Whines ran shorty after that Johnny Atsign episode. Bill Schmalfeldt’s tweet refers to an earlier post that evening that published emails relating to a copyright fraud.

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The Cabin Boy™ tweeted this while he was connected to Hogewash! just before this evening’s episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign posted.TheMerryWidower201511232250Z

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Of course, nothing went as the Cabin Boy™ has hallucinated.

And publishing his email wasn’t lying; it was simply an application of Stacy McCain’s adage that the best way to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.

2 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. I shouldn’t repeat myself. But I just can’t help myself. I posted this in yesterdays TKPOTD and yes it’s a setup:

    WJJH is 96.7 FM in Ashland, WI. I am not kidding. Can you say ‘karma’ boys and girls? Sure. I knew you could.

    WJJH would be entirely too good to be true. Could also be WJMS; but that’s not licensed in Ashland.

    So my guess is that he’s at WATW 1400 AM. It’s the only station LICENSED in Ashland. Bill says they’ve just converted from a conservative talk-radio format (“And we’ve put that where it belongs.”) to a ‘classic country format.’

    The last listener comment, that I see, says “1400 AM (WATW) is off the air most of the time now. LONG periods of “dead air.” A constant loud BUZZ, 24/7. Talk shows are being broken up, “chirps” during these shows. Liberals have finally taken over, huh? The FCC should be informed.”

    Oh, ho, ho! If you only knew!

    Well. Not only that. Methinks Mr. Big Bill Small who has a ‘most excellent friend’ in Brett Kimberlin The Speedway Bomber has told some hapless owner he’ll run, and provide content, for a formerly-zombie radio station. Question for the studio audience: Is it more or LESS difficult to get fired IF you’re a one-man show at a one-man radio station?

  2. “Ho ho HO boys and girls! This is Jolly Old Saint Slick coming to you live this morning from Ashland. Saint Slick, here, who’s too smooth to drool where it’s not cool. Burma shave. And it IS cool today at 24 degrees but that’s not as cold as it gets in Montana! Trust me. And I’m not drooling. A little Johnnie Walker in the morning coffee keeps the cold away. And the mice.

    Fresh off our interview with Senator Tammy Baldwin I’m bringing you yet another VERY SPECIAL GUEST: Aaron Rodgers! Aaron is the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers and we welcome him on the phone.

    Welcome to the show, Mr. Quarterback.”

    “Uh. Thank you. Glad to be here.”

    “Aaron, you’ve got a big game with the 49ers coming up this week. But not as big a game as Adam Schiff had just this last week. How you doing?”

    “Uh. I’m good. The team’s good. We feel like we’re just starting to peak as a team and that’s good.”

    “Excellent. I know all of us wearing the green and yellow hate the color orange and therefore it’s doubly important you beat the 49ers.”

    “They wear red and gold. Maybe a little white here and there. Do you have a football question?”

    “I most certainly do, my good padawan quarterback. Let Jolly Old Saint Slick drop a question on ya’ that’s just spiralling with football sharpestry. Do you think that Trump not letting Bolton testify is hiding the ball?”

    “Ah. The 49ers have a tough defense. We all respect those guys. They don’t hide anything they come straight at you. So we’ve been preparing hard all week, and-”

    “Saint Slick coming rightbackatcha’ Aaron! You’re acknowledged as one of the GREAT arm talents in the NFL. Do you anticipate throwing any bombs this Sunday? Because I know a I guy…”

    “Ah. Mr. Slick. Certainly our goal is to move the ball downfield and we’re eager to take whatever San Francisco gives us. We’ll be opportunistic.”

    “Excellent! Really good that you’re taking that approach. But let me ax you, as the young people say, something else- If you could WISH for ANYTHING, would you rather wish to win Sunday OR that the Orange Cthulu gets lasered by a certain witch currently circling the Whitehouse at high altitude? Aaron, one of those choices impacts the NFC playoff picture. The other benefits not only the entire country but also benefits all those who hate this country. Open borders would be a bonus.”

    *click*

    “Aaron? Aaron are you there? We must be experiencing technical difficulties but we’ll try and re-connect with Aaron Rodgers asap.

    Meanwhile this is Jolly Old Saint Slick cokin’ and jokin’ on a fine Wisconsin morning. Normally, at this point I’d transition to a commercial but our station doesn’t have any sponsors.

    Yet.

    When you’re at the bottom there’s nowhere to go but UP! Meanwhile, I need to hit the bathroom so hang in there with the ‘dead air’ and I’ll return in 17 minutes or so.

    Peace, out.”

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