Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran four years ago today.

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Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Landline phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) Atsign, it’s Bradshaw.

JOHNNY: Why, Lieutenant, to what do I owe the honor?

LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) Cut the sarcasm, Atsign. As much as I hate to admit it, I need some help.

JOHNNY: From me, Lieutenant?

LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. From you, Atsign.

JOHNNY: You must be in one helluva hole. Tell me more.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Dead Air Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @LtBradshaw It’s like old times!

JOHNNY: Bradshaw and I go way back. We first worked together in radio on a public station in LA. We both moved on, and so did the show we worked on. It moved to a another public station for a while before hitting the big time. That second public station never was massively popular, and in recent years it’s fallen off the rating charts. While I’ve never been associated with that second station, Bradshaw has worked with them occasionally.

LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) … the way the station is run is circus. It’s almost as if no one is really in charge.

JOHNNY: But that’s not surprising, given the station’s policies and politics.

LT. BRADSHAW: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, but they still have enough sense to want to protect their brand, whatever it might be. They do know that they don’t want to be associated with some things and some people. And one of those people is The Grouch. He says he’s planning on simulcasting their on-air feed.

JOHNNY: Sounds to me like that would weaken both brands which is just fine from my point of view, but, OK, I’ll check around and see what I can turn up.

SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up.

JOHNNY: It was time to run down some leads.

LT. BRADSHAW: (Full mike) All right, hold it right where you are! I’m Lieutenant Bradshaw with a piece of advice for you. Now, here in the studio it’s all knuckles and know how. But when that red light goes off, I’m just plain Joe Doaks: citizen, weekend father. Now take a tip from a cop who does; radio work can be just as dirty and exciting as hunting down Public Enemy Number One. So when I get home, I unwind with my favorite beverage, and I drink mine from a Team Lickspittle Drinking Glass.

ANNOUNCER: Right, Joe. That’s just one example of the Team Lickspittle, Johnny Atsign, Grand Hog, Collateral Estoppel, Res Judicata, and Murum Aries Attigit glassware available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, spend some money, and support Team Lickspittle. And remember, folks, you can also support Team Lickspittle by hitting the Tip Jar or by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

JOHNNY: The question that was puzzling Bradshaw was who was The Grouch’s connection at the station who might have been involved with setting up the simulcasting. It turned out that it wasn’t a hard connection to make, and it only took one phone call to verify the online information I’d found.

CLERK: (Telephone Filter) … that’s right. The scan that is posted online is a true copy of what I have here in the file.

JOHNNY: Thanks. You’ve saved me a trip to Annapolis.

CLERK: (Telephone Filter) Glad to help, Mr. Atsign. Can I do anything else for you?

JOHNNY: No. Thanks. Good bye.

CLERK: (Telephone Filter) Good bye.

SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up.

JOHNNY: I’d found a possible connection. It was via The Bomber. A cofounder of one of his not-for-profits was an on-air personality at the station. I passed the information on to Bradshaw.

JOHNNY DMS: (SYNTH VOICE) @LtBradshaw You may be being eaten by Friedeggs.

LT. BRADSHAW DMS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign Thanks for the info.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Why all the dead air?

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? You can’t make this stuff up. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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Some radio careers are more successful that others, and some are more nomadic that others.

2 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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