Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran three years ago today.

* * * * *

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

NORRIS: (Telephone Filter) Hello, Mr. Atsign, I’m Bill Norris from National Special Underwriters.

JOHNNY: Yes?

NORRIS: (Telephone Filter) I’d like to discuss using your services to help us investigate a claim.

JOHNNY: Really? Are you sure you’re calling the right freelance investigator?

NORRIS: (Telephone Filter) (Chuckles) Yes, I do. I believe your previous experience will expedite the investigation. I believe you have some experience with someone called “The Bomber.”

JOHNNY: Yeah. You’ve called the right guy.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Extended Coverage Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @BobBailey This one has an action-packed expense account.

JOHNNY: I don’t often do work for insurance companies, but it turned out that one of the bloggers being sued by The Bomber had a policy that provided coverage for defamation LOLsuits. Norris gave me a brief rundown of the case and the contact information for the local lawyer who was handling their insured’s defense. I had a great deal of information already developed and on file.

I got in touch with the lawyer, and we put together a list of evidence that needed to be more fully developed. There was going to be some travel required so, I booked a ticket to [redacted]

[redacted]

ANNOUNCER: Here in Westminster, we’re having those pleasant Labor Day evenings when it’s nice to sit on the porch and sip a cold drink. I’ve been sipping mine from one of the brand new Murum Aries Attigit tea tumblers. It keeps my iced tea cool in the summer, and it will keep my tea hot this winter. It’s just one of the goodies exclusively available for you to spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store.  Stop by today and spend some of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle. Or do your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page. Or hit the Tip Jar. They’re all ways you can support the Team.

AGENT SMITH: (Fading in) … and that’s all I can tell you about that until the verification of your clearance comes back.

JOHNNY: I’ll have to be back East before that happens. I’ve got a flight out late this afternoon. Still, you given me enough that I believe that I can develop the leads without any classified information.

AGENT SMITH: OK. Look, we have our own reason for following this case, so if you turn up …

JOHNNY: Oh, I’ll be happy to share.

AGENT SMITH: Thanks. Now, you were also asking about [redacted]

[redacted]

JOHNNY TWEETS: @TheBomber Just because you haven’t heard from a defendant doesn’t mean he’s just marking time. Tick, tock.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? Curiouser and curiouser. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

* * * * *

Yep. It’s got to be fiction. After all, who in his right mind would actually file a lawsuit naming a government laboratory and a law firm with over 800 attorneys among the list of codefendants.

2 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

    • Yep, one of the only things that Bill Schmalfeldt (of WMOM) has accumulated more of than restraining orders is failed internet radio stations. Hiring Bill Schmalfeldt to help get your radio station back on the air is like installing screen doors in a submarine.

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