Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Some people are very bad liars who are easily caught. This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran four years ago today.

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Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Well, hello! What’s up?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Nothing. Things are quiet.

JOHNNY: Only on the surface.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Oh?

JOHNNY: Have you ever heard the expression “the lull before the storm”?

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the Unmeritorious Medal Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Got any good sea stories?

JOHNNY: It had been kinda quiet around the office. I seemed to be spending most of my time writing follow up reports.

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign!

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. It’s Phil Candler.

JOHNNY: Hello, Phil.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) I’ve been thinking about a discrepancy in The Grouch’s background. Do you remember that he published his DD214, his discharge papers from his second tour in the Navy?

JOHNNY: Yeah. He did it years ago on XMFan. They’ve popped up again recently, didn’t they?

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Isn’t his DD214 supposed to show all of his awards and decorations from both enlistments.

JOHNNY: It should. I know my DD214 shows everything I was awarded, but I didn’t have a break in service. What are you getting at?

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) That DD214 shows that he was awarded the Good Conduct Medal with a service star and the National Defense Service Medal.

JOHNNY: Is that all? The National Defense Service Medal was awarded for one day’s honorable federal service during the Vietnam era when The Grouch was in boot camp. Two Good Conduct Medals would mean he managed to avoid a captain’s mast during each tour. That’s the bare minimum he could get.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) OK, but do you remember that picture of him as a student training to be a Journalist during his second enlistment.

JOHNNY: Vaguely. I think it was published on Hogewash!. Let me search for it.

SOUND: Typing on keyboard.

JOHNNY: OK, that’s Hogewash!, and the search box …

SOUND: Typing on keyboard.

JOHNNY: Yeah. That should be it. Let’s see. Oh. I think I see what your getting at.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) It looks like he’s wearing the ribbons for four medals instead of only two.

JOHNNY: If he were entitled to those two extra medals from his first enlistment and they were rescinded, it’s unlikely that he would have been awarded a second Good Conduct Medal.

ZOMBIE: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. And would the discharge have been honorable?

ANNOUNCER: Here in real world of Westminster, we’re having one of those pleasant summer evenings when it’s nice to sit on the porch and sip a cold drink while listening to crickets and watching the lightning bugs. I’ve been sipping mine from a Murum Aries Attigit travel mug. It’s just one of the goodies exclusively available for you to spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, and spend some cash to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar or buy doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) (Fading in) … Well, that should stir up some comments.

JOHNNY: Ya’ think?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) When will he break the story?

JOHNNY: He running on his own schedule. Meanwhile, he’s given me a idea for some further research.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @BunnyBoy @AnkleBiter GCM, NDSM, and what else?

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? Who knows what evil? Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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Definitely rear echelon.

1 thought on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

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