The similarities between the plots in some fictional stories and the activities of certain cyberthugs sure are interesting coincidences, aren’t they? This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran a couple of years ago today.
* * * * *
ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Phone rings once. Telephone handset picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
PRO BONO 2: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Mr. Atsign. Did I wake you?
JOHNNY: No, I’ve been up for a while and was just going down to breakfast.
PRO BONO 2: (Telephone Filter) The coffee shop in your hotel is pretty good. May I join you?
PRO BONO 2: (Telephone Filter) You’re just around the corner from my office. I’ll walk over. Would ten minutes be OK?
JOHNNY: I’ll meet you there.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during the Double Florentine Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @CardinalCap The guy you recommended has taken the case.
SOUND: Quiet restaurant background.
PRO BONO 2: (Fading up) … so it was fortunate that you happened to be in town.
JOHNNY: Uh, huh. I was in town tying up some loose ends for a client who is suing The Grouch.
PRO BONO 2: Well, he’s also my client now. The Grouch is suing him in federal court here in Florence, and I’ve offered to represent him pro bono.
JOHNNY: Good. I suppose he’ll want me to share what I have with you. I’ll send him a DM after breakfast and ask him to authorize me to release everything to you.
PRO BONO 2: Thanks. Given your experience with The Grouch, I’d like to use you in the case down here as well. Specifically, I’d like you to look into [redacted].
JOHNNY: Yes, that could be an intriguing angle, and there might be a connection to [redacted].
PRO BONO 2: I like the way you think, Mr. Atsign.
JOHNNY: Call me “Johnny.”
SOUND: Restaurant background out.
ANNOUNCER: Hats are cool. And the members of Team Lickspittle can get genuine Team Lickspittle Trucker Hats exclusively at The Hogewash Store. It’s not only available in black-and-white as shown on the Hogewash! homepage but in other colors as well. Drop by today, buy your hat, and show your support for Team Lickspittle. Hats and other fan items are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.
JOHNNY: Back in Westminster, I started going through my files on The Grouch, and [redacted]. There were several interesting overlaps. Coincidence or something else? It was time to give [redacted] a call.
CLERK: (Telephone Filter) Yes. The record shows that it’s still valid and that he’s moved out of state.
JOHNNY: Thanks. I owe you one.
CLERK: (Telephone Filter) No problem, Johnny. Goodbye.
SOUND: Telephone receiver hung up.
JOHNNY TWEETS: @ProBono2 He’s trying to be two places at once without being in either.
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? Missing persons? Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
* * * * *
BTW, I’m told that filing a false police report is a misdemeanor in Iowa with a statute of limitations of 3 year and that time spent outside the state puts the SOL clock on hold.