Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign first ran four years ago today.

Oh, to provide some perspective … CPL Davis appeared in earlier episodes. He’s with the Department of Natural Resources Police.

* * * * *

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) Mr Atsign, this is Corporal Davis.

JOHNNY: How’s it goin’? Caught any poachers this week?

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) No, the woods are pretty quitet now that the spring seasons are over. Of course, it’s still open season on varmints. As a matter of fact, that’s what I’m calling you about.

JOHNNY: Hey, my license is up to date, and I haven’t gone after woodchucks at all this year.

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) (Chuckles) I’m talking about a two-legged varmint. Check your email, then give me a call back.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of The What’s In A Name Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @CPLDavis Are the woodchucks chucking wood?

JOHNNY: So I checked my email and found Davis had forwarded an email that had been forwarded to him by another employee of his agency. It was a poison pen letter of the sort that most people would just file in the trash, but I was immediately interested in it.

I got back on the phone with Davis.

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) I thought you might be interested.

JOHNNY: I am, but why are you following up on this?

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) Normally, something like this would be turned over to the State Police, but since it came to several of our agency emails, we’ve decided to keep the case in house.

JOHNNY: Makes sense. But what’s your angle?

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) Harassment. Interference with our employees and volunteers while they’re at work. So what can you tell me about this Mort in Maryland guy?

JOHNNY: Not much, just yet, but his name has popped up in several other places. Is it OK with you if I share this email with some other agencies?

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) I suppose so. Local?

JOHNNY: Sorta. Let’s say, “In the area but with wider jurisdiction.”

CPL DAVIS: (Telephone Filter) Keep me posted.

ANNOUNCER: A Team Lickspittle Messenger Bag is a great way to keep your paperwork organized while you’re on the go. It’s just one of the useful trinkets with the Team Lickspittle, Res Judicata, Johnny Atsign, and The Grand Hog logos you’ll find at The Hogewash Store. Why not go by today and spend a bit of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle? All those goodies are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.

JOHNNY: I sent the Mort in Maryland email to a couple of other investigators who might have leads. It didn’t take long to get a response.

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

INVESTIGATOR: (Telephone Filter) Hello, Johnny. I saw that email you forwarded.

JOHNNY: Uh, huh.

INVESTIGATOR: (Telephone Filter) This Mort fellow has sent similar emails to us.

JOHNNY: Really?

INVESTIGATOR: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, but he’s gone farther up our food chain to the top of the agency. That was a bad move. Anyway, we believe that we have IDed the real individual sending this crap.

JOHNNY: I see.

INVESTIGATOR: (Telephone Filter) (Fading out) I going to send you a copies of what we’ve received. Let me know what you can confirm so we can dot the eyes and cross the tees on this one.

JOHNNY: So I went through that new evidence, and there it was. OPSEC has never been the suspect’s strong suits, and, sure enough, he’d blown it with one of his emails. One of them had an originating IP the same as his home Internet account.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @CPLDavis Are fail whales covered by my fishing license?

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? The hunters, the hunted, and changing places. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

* * * * *

Although Mort isn’t identified in that episode, at least one person reacted as if the story was about him.

Well, Proverbs is a book of wisdom.

2 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Although Mort isn’t identified in that episode, at least one person reacted as if the story was about him.

    I bet it was a Portly fellow.

Leave a Reply