T. S. Eliot may be right, April may really be the cruelest month, at least as far as Team Kimberlin is concerned. It was in April, 2014, that The
Dread Deadbeat Pro-Se Kimberlin got caught forging a green card in a court exhibit, and in April, 2016, … oh, why don’t I let Johnny Atsign tell a similar, but fictitious, story.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
JOHNNY DMS: (SYNTH VOICE) @LizSmith I’ll be right over.
SOUND: Footsteps in hallway.
JOHNNY: It was Friday, April 8th. It was cool and cloudy in Westminster. We has just brought a joint operation to a successful conclusion, and it was 7:29 pm when I entered Room S-140. Internet Detail.
SOUND: Door opens. Party background.
RULE 5 GIRL: Hey, everyone, Johnny’s here!
SOUND: Door closes. Party background stays up.
JOHNNY: Well, hello. I didn’t think you’d be here.
RULE 5 GIRL: Are you kidding? There’s no way I’d miss this.
JOHNNY: Yeah, it’s a pretty good day at the end of a couple of good weeks.
FRIDAY: It sure is. Can I get you something, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Sure. Whatever’s available.
FRIDAY: I’ll be right back.
SHERIFF: Hey, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Howdy, Sheriff. It’s been a pretty good couple of weeks.
SHERIFF: Yeah. I really pleased that the case against Lee was dismissed.
JOHNNY: Uh, huh. There’s no one left in The Bomber’s state suit except people he can’t seem to serve …
SMITH: … and Mandy, who can’t defend herself.
JOHNNY: Hi, Liz. I’ll bet she isn’t in the case much longer.
SHERIFF: Well, Liz and Joe and you all made important contributions to the defense of all The Bomber’s lawsuits, …
SOUND: Champagne cork pops off mike.
SHERIFF: … although you probably did more for the federal cases that we did.
JOHNNY: Probably. But it was a team effort. I’m glad that the second RICO suit has bitten the dust too.
FRIDAY: Here ya’ go.
JOHNNY: Mmmmm. Thanks, Joe.
SOUND: Party background stays up through the commercial.
ANNOUNCER: Yes, we’re celebrating here at the Lickspittle Broadcasting System. I’ve been sipping a tall one of my favorite beverage from a Murum Aries Attigit drinking glass. It’s just one of the many trinkets you’ll find only at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, and spend some of your hard-earned cash. Or you can support Team Lickspittle by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page. Or you can hit the Tip Jar.
SOUND: Door opens.
AARON: Sorry I’m late, but I had to go by my post office box and pick up the mail. I’m glad I did. Take a look at this.
SHERIFF: Oh, that’s too good! I can’t think of a better way to end the week.
JOHNNY: What’s up?
AARON: It’s an order from the Court of Special Appeals. They’re denying The Bomber’s motion for reconsideration. The appeal of the first state case is toast.
SMITH: We expected that, didn’t we?
AARON: Of course, but they also have assessed court costs against The Bomber.
SHERIFF: Uh, huh. I just did a rough sum in my head. It looks like more that 3500 bucks.
JOHNNY: Yeah. It’s been a great couple of weeks.
RULE 5 GIRL: So what’s next, Johnny?
JOHNNY: You see what’s on that glass the Announcer is drinking out of?
RULE 5 GIRL: Yeah.
JOHNNY: That’s next.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber Heh.
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? It’s back to business. Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
PINKY: I think so, Brain … but why give them any warning?
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Have I mentioned that everything proceed as I had foreseen?