Several Gentle Readers have told me that they miss Johnny Atsign. Johnny is diligently working on a couple of important cases, one of which is directly connected to Team Kimberlin. However, it not quite time for him to return with new episodes. This episode first ran three years ago today.
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ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—
SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. We haven’t talked for a while.
JOHNNY: Well, I’ve been kinda busy.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) So I see. Most of the noise on the Internet has been from The Grouch, but I’m wondering about what The Bomber is up to.
JOHNNY: No good.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) That’s a given, but what more can you tell me?
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the False Positives Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber Are you getting used to losing yet?
JOHNNY: You remember that bogus peace order he tried to get last year, don’t you?
RULE 5 GIRL (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh.
JOHNNY: (Fading out) After that fell through, he tried to follow up with criminal charges. I wound up investigating for …
PRO BONO: (Fading in) … which is why the charges are such nonsense. Aaron was never connected to the peace order petition. All the allegations in it related to my client.
JOHNNY: OK, but how was he able to file charges. I thought they had finally figured out that he can’t testify and that anything he puts in a complaint can’t be used in evidence.
AARON: They caught that this time. You can see his name is scratched out as a complainant. Those complaints were actually filed by Mrs. Bomber.
JOHNNY: But there’s no way that these charges are going anywhere.
PRO BONO: You’re probably right, but we need to be ready in case the State’s Attorney’s Office screws up and lets the case go forward.
JOHNNY: OK, but what to you want me to do? Aaron and your client should have everything they’ve published or tweeted. If there’s nothing there, there’s no case.
PRO BONO: Right. However, we need to know what’s been going on with Team Bomber. We need to scour the Internet for anything that has been published in a public forum. We need a thorough review of any related public documents like court papers. That kind of material may be useful if we have to mount a defense.
AARON: It may have other uses as well.
ANNOUNCER: Spring has sprung. With warmer-but-not-hot weather coming, a Hogewash! Res Judicata long-sleeve t-shirt could be just the thing for casual wear. It’s exclusively available along with lots of other goodies at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today and spend some of your hard-earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle. Or hit the Tip Jar. They’re both ways you can support the Team.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, those charges were dropped.
JOHNNY: (Fading out) Yeah, and like Aaron said, there was another use for the information. Aaron decided that some pushback was due, and he …
THE BOMBER: (Fading in) … and allegations made in a criminal complaint are privileged. We can’t be sued for defamation for what we said in those complaints.
JUDGE: You’re not being sued for defamation. He’s suing you for malicious prosecution.
THE BOMBER: And Maryland law protects us from that as well.
JUDGE: No. It doesn’t. Malicious prosecution is a valid cause of action in Maryland, and I find that the plaintiff has stated a claim upon which relief can be granted. Therefore, I will deny your motion to dismiss with respect to that claim. I’ll issue an order accordingly. I’ll also contact the scheduling office and issue a schedule. How many days should be necessary for the trial? Three?
AARON: I believe that will be sufficient, Your Honor.
JUDGE: Now, one more thing. The Court will not consider any further motions for sanctions until after the case is decided, and I don’t want any more complaints about service. Both sides will serve each other by Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested, and the clerk will not docket any item until the green card for the mailing is filed with the Court.
AARON: Thank you, Your Honor.
JUDGE: (Fading out) Are there any further …
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) So, a bunch of work has paid off.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I wonder how many green cards you’ll have to investigate?
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber Be careful with those green cards.
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? One deadline passes as another deadline draws nearer. Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.
This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.
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