This episode of Blognet first ran two years ago today. Today, it can be presented with some of the originally redacted parts restored. That additional material is included after the main body of the original post.

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MUSIC: Theme. Intro and fade under.

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

MUSIC: Up, then under …

NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. A group of cyberstalkers have been contacting the employers of several bloggers, and the employers are becoming concerned by the harassment. Your job … get the facts.

MUSIC: Up then under …

ANNOUNCER: Blognet … the documented drama of an actual case. For the next few minutes, in cooperation with the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the good guys through an actual case transcribed from official files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment, Blognet is the story of the good guys in action.

MUSIC: Up and out.

SOUND: Footsteps in hallway.

FRIDAY: It was Monday, February 23rd. It was a clear and cold in Westminster. We were working the day watch out of Internet Detail. My partner’s Liz Smith. The Boss is Twitter Town Sheriff W. J. J. Hoge. My name’s Friday. It was 12:16 pm when Liz returned to Room S-140, Internet Detail.

SOUND: Door opens and closes. Footsteps across room. Chair pulled out.

SMITH: They had crab soup and cream of broccoli today.

FRIDAY: So which did you get me.

SMITH: Crab.

SOUND: Paper bag rustling.

FRIDAY: OK.

SMITH: And the grilled cheese sandwich and chips.

FRIDAY: Thanks.

SOUND: Telephone rings.

SMITH: I’ve got it.

SOUND: Receiver picked up.

SMITH: Internet Detail. Officer Smith. … Oh, hi, Bob. I heard you had retired. … You’re where? … Really, you’re with the government there? I thought people went there as contractors after they retired. … What’s up? … Yeah, we’ve heard of him. … Uh, huh. … Yeah, him too. Why do you ask? … When? … Yeah, that fits in with something we’ve been looking at up here. … Which one actually made the contact? … Both? That’s unusual. That’s usually something we see Parvocampus do. … You’re sure it’s both? … OK. … I tell you what. Send me everything your boss will let you share, and I’ll send you our files on both of ‘em. … I’ll email all the electronic stuff in a zip file and overnight copies of the paper files. Is that office still in Building 8? … OK. … Sure. … I was good to hear from you again, Bob. Good luck with the new job. … You’re welcome. Goodbye.

SOUND: Receiver hung up.

SMITH: That was Bob Johnson. He’s got himself a new job working as an investigator for the feds.

FRIDAY: I wondered where he went.

SMITH: It seems that Parvocampus has been contacting the agency he works for complaining about bloggers writing defamatory stuff. Bob’s been investigating the complaints.

FRIDAY: And he’s finding that they’re as bogus as the copyright nonsense Parvocampus stirred up last year.

SMITH: Yeah, but there’s another angle.

FRIDAY: Oh?

SMITH: They’re also receiving complaints about the same blogger from Timberland.

FRIDAY: That’s probably not a smart play for Parvocampus and Timberland.

SMITH: How’s that?

FRIDAY: They’re doubling down on stupid.

MUSIC: Stinger

FRIDAY: When we received the files from Bob Johnson, it became clear that Timberland was up to something, and that he was targeting a particular blogger. Without further information, all we could do was wait for his next move.

Friday, March 6th, 2:38 pm.

[redacted]

SMITH: When?

FRIDAY: After all the civil cases play out.

NARRATOR: [redacted]

MUSIC: Stinger.

ANNOUNCER: Mmmm, coffee. Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Blognet? Why not sip your coffee from a Hogewash! Murum Aries Attigit Coffee Mug? Murum Aries Attigit, Res Judicata, Team Lickspittle, The Grand Hog, Collateral Estoppel, and Johnny Atsign merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.

NARRATOR: [redacted]

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: You have just heard Blognet, a series of authentic cases from official files. Technical advice comes from the office of the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Blognet is a work of fiction. Anyone who thinks it’s about him should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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Additional material—

NARRATOR: On Friday, May 18th, the agency presented its finding to the U. S. Attorney’s Office for a decision on prosecution. In a moment, the U. S. Attorney’s Office decision.

MUSIC: Stinger.

ANNOUNCER: Mmmm, coffee. Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Blognet? Why not sip your coffee from a Hogewash! Murum Aries Attigit Coffee Mug? Murum Aries Attigit, Res Judicata, Team Lickspittle, The Grand Hog, Collateral Estoppel, and Johnny Atsign merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.

NARRATOR: On Friday, May 18th, the agency presented its finding to the U. S. Attorney’s Office for a determination. Upon a review of the facts, the U. S. Attorney’s Office determined that state crimes were also involved and the state should take primary jurisdiction in the matter. The matter was referred to a State’s Attorney’s Office.