Bullies think it’s unfair when you hit them back—which is why it’s not surprising that Bill Schmalfeldt whines and threatens the direst of dire direness whenever someone takes any step that might result in the Cabin Boy™ being held accountable for his actions. Three years ago, Schmalfeldt was in the midst of a flurry of LOLsuits. LOLsuit III had been thrown out because he sued in a court lacking jurisdiction., LOLsuit IV had been thrown out for improper venue, and LOLsuit V was just getting under way. The TKPOTD from three years ago today dealt with the Cabin Boy’s™ upset over being called a “deranged cyberstalker.”

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The Cabin Boy™ has his panties in a knot because folks refer to him as a “deranged cyberstalker.” (Stacy McCain deserves credit for first referring to Schmalfeldt that way.) Aside from the fact that expressing the opinion that Schmalfeld is a deranged cyberstalker is protected speech under the First Amendment, he is admittedly demented (deranged and demented are synonyms), and he is an adjudicated harasser. Since his harassing was done on line, that fits the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of cyberstalking. Thus, calling him a deranged cyberstalker is not only protected opinion, it is also an true statement backed by the facts.

Additionally, the Cabin Boy™ has promoted his identity as The Deranged Cyberstalker through the sale of a CD of his “comedy” bits. While that CD appears to be out of print, the tracks are still available for download from iTunes and Amazon. Note: Amazon’s MP3 downloads are cheaper and will play on Apple devices.

Imagine the cross examination in court …

Q: You say you were defamed and damaged by being called a “deranged cyberstalker.” Is that correct?

A: Yes.

Q: I show you the items marked as Defense Exhibits 11 and 12. They are screen shots from iTunes and Amazon, respectively. Can you identify the downloads offered for sale?

If the Cabin Boy™ is very lucky, Schmalfeldt v. Grady (, et al. ?) will be dismissed with prejudice.

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Indeed, LOLsuit V was dismissed with prejudice on a motion filed by Schmalfeldt himself. Dismissal with prejudice in a finding on the merits, so it would appear that the Cabin Boy™ admitted that his claims were bogus. Not longer after dismissing his LOLsuit, he fled the state of Maryland.

Nothing proceeded as he had hallucinated.