SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET
MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2
ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)
JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.
MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3
SOUND: Oldies playing on jukebox in background.
SOUND: Footsteps coming down a hall and into a room.
BRAIN: Howdy, Sheriff. I just made a fresh pot of coffee. Grab a cup and a chair.
JOHN: Thanks, Brain.
SOUND: Coffee poured. Chair pulled out.
JOHN: Got plans for the weekend?
BRAIN: I think I’ll sleep in on Saturday.
JOHN: You’ll miss the wedding.
BRAIN: And they’ll wind up just as married with or without my eyeballs glued to a screen several thousand miles away. How about you?
JOHN: Yard work.
SOUND: More footsteps down the hall and into the room.
FRIDAY: Hi, guys. What are you doing here this late on a Friday?
JOHN: I had paperwork to finish.
BRAIN: Inertia, mostly. Why are you still here?
FRIDAY: Actually, I’m just back. I gave Johnny Atsign a ride down to the airport, and I’ve come back to pick up my laptop and grab a cup of coffee.
BRAIN: It’s fresh. Where’s Johnny headed?
FRIDAY: He didn’t say, but I dropped him at the International Terminal.
JOHN: I suspect he’s taking a flight to Heathrow for a connection to Africa.
FRIDAY: Africa? Oh … Is he working THAT case?
JOHN: I don’t know for sure, but if you add two plus two, the answer usually is around four.
BRAIN: You’ve lost me.
FRIDAY: Remember that defamation case?
BRAIN: But what does that have to do with Africa?
FRIDAY: Think about the plaintiff’s background.
BRAIN: What? … Oh.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4
ANNOUNCER: Mmmm, coffee! When the recording session for this week’s episode breaks up, I’m heading over to the coffee pot and filing up my Johnny Atsign Travel Mug for the drive home. Johnny Atsign Travel Mugs are exclusively available along with lots of other goodies at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today and spend some of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle. Or hit the Tip Jar. They’re both ways you can support the Team.
MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5
BRAIN: (Fading up) … be interesting to see if any of those connections pan out. Meanwhile, on a sillier note, The Grouch is now pretending to be a black cat.
JOHN: You mean that collusion kitty thing?
BRAIN: Uh, huh.
FRIDAY: He’s a bit late. All of the evidence has shown that there if there had been any collusion during that election, it involved the candidate The Grouch supported.
JOHN: He’s not noted for his sharp timing.
FRIDAY: Well, we don’t have an active file open on him at the moment, so I’ll take a pass on reading any of his stuff.
JOHN: Sounds like a wise decision. Well, my coffee cup’s empty, and the weekend calls. I’ll see you later.
SOUND: Chair pushed back.
JOHN: Good night.
SOUND: Coffee cup rinsed and put in dish drain. Footsteps leaving.
MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Grouch and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT
ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.