ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for —

SOUND: Skype rings once. Receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny. It’s Bob Bailey.

JOHNNY: Hi! I have heard from you for a while,

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Oh, I’ve been busy with projects of my own. I thought I’d give you a call to see what’s happening.

JOHNNY: Quite a bit, actually. But not stuff that’s cleared for broadcast yet.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. I know how that goes.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the Not Ripe Yet Matters.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @PGrayson Things are even sillier that you thought.

JOHNNY: I’ve been spending most of my time on two matters, one of which isn’t really a full-fledged case just yet. The real case involves another shutuppery LOLsuit. I’m working for the lawyer for several defendants who are being sued for defamation because they said admittedly truthful things about a rather special snowflake and because they uttered wrongthink opinions concerning the significance of the facts they wrote about.

Yeah. It sounds familiar, doesn’t it. These cases are becoming a bit of a specialty.

The not-even-half-baked case is an investigation in preparation for an expected LOLsuit. That one has taken the bulk of my time recently and greatly augmented my frequent flyer accounts. This case isn’t the first time I’ve investigated the likely plaintiff. In fact, he’s filed so many suits that have resulted in work for me, that I sometimes wonder if I should pay him a finder’s fee.

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JOHNNY: Which brings us back to that call from Bob Bailey …

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) (Fading up) … so it sound like you’re staying busy.

JOHNNY: Pretty much, but I’m gonna take a long weekend over Memorial Day. I have my eye on a trout stream in the Smokies.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Good. All work and no play isn’t good for you.

JOHNNY: I try to keep things in balance.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Oh, one more thing before I go—be sure to remember that advice that Deep Vote gave you. I’ll bet it applies in that first case we talked about.

JOHNNY: “Follow the money.”

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. See ya’ later.

JOHNNY: Goodbye, Bob.

JOHNNY TWEETS: @[redacted] Their case isn’t fiction. Fiction is supposed to make sense.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Does even The Shadow know? Join us, won’t you.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.