Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Given the way the Real World has been messing with my blogging, this episode from 2014 seemed like a good one to recycle—

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Mr. Atsign.

JOHNNY: Yes?

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) My name’s Bailey. Are you online yet this morning?

JOHNNY: Not yet. I’m still on my first cup of coffee.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) You’ll enjoy it this morning. Somebody thinks you’re not real.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.

THE GROUCH TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Not that fake “Johnny Atsign.” QUALITY radio, not one of his stupid, schlocky scripts..

JOHNNY: A listener named Bailey had tipped me to some of the recent ravings by The Grouch. The Grouch is one of the sideshow characters in the larger story about The Bomber. I’d been ignoring him for a while, focusing on developing evidence directly related to The Bomber. But The Grouch seemed determined to attract my attention.

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RuLE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny!

JOHNNY: Well, hello!

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you been following what The Grouch is up to?

JOHNNY: Funny you should ask. I just got another tip about him, and I’m starting to scroll through his timeline

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you noticed his new book?

JOHNNY: Yeah. I haven’t ordered a copy yet.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I’ve got the ebook. You should get one at check it out.

JOHNNY: Oh?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) (Fading Out) Yeah. It’s mostly a rehash of old blog posts, but he’s …

ANNOUNCER: Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Johnny Atsign? You can show you support by wearing Team Lickspittle gear. The Grand Hog, Johnny Atsign, Team Lickspittle, and Res Judicata merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar or buy doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

JOHNNY: (Fading In) … it’s a short post, but he’s republished all 100+ comments as well.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) That’s what pushes it past Fair Use. If he had quoted a one sentence post in its entirety, that would likely be OK because it would be need to understand what was being comment on. If he’d taken a few of the comments as well and fisked them, that would probably be kosher. But ripping off that much in toto shouldn’t be OK.

JOHNNY: That’s why he got nailed with a DMCA complaint.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh.

JOHNNY: Next, he tried redoing the book but with another long blog post from a different author. He bragged that he wouldn’t get in trouble because the author would want to remain anonymous.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Is that the one where the rights were sold?

JOHNNY: Yep. The author sold just the book and ebook rights and kept all the rest.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) I hope they took care of all the details.

JOHNNY: Oh, the buyer has run a music publishing company for almost 20 years. He’s quite familiar with buying and licensing copyrights. There’s a written assignment. I’ve seen it.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Let me guess. He sent another takedown notice.

JOHNNY: Of course. The Grouch is claiming it’s a fraud with all his usual bluster and demands. The only result is his being laughed at on Twitter.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Some folks never learn.

JOHNNY: Yeah.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Aaron Hunter S Thompson was right: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

MUSIC: Theme up and under

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Not everyone has the right kind of appeal. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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