Blogsmoke


SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3

SOUND: Oldies playing on jukebox in background.

SOUND: Group laughter.

PINKY: Yeah. The way he pulled the pull was so typical. He really needs to freshen up his act.

SMITH: You mean that two or three day rant about living free in the Boss’s head and how he’d be continuing to respond to blog posts and then flushing his Twitter account and abandoning his blogs?

PINKY: Uh, huh. How many times have we seen him do that?

JOHN: Dozens, I guess. But it’s nice to have a bit of peace and quiet.

FRIDAY: Now that he’s gone quiet, are you going to drop him from the Team Bomber coverage?

JOHN: Nope.

BRAIN: How come?

JOHN: I’m not done with him yet.

SMITH: What’s left?

JOHN: If you read the judge’s findings in last year’s case, you’ll see that there are still some open issues. I’d like to see them brought to closure.

PINKY: So he can’t just slink off?

JOHN: I’m not done with him yet.

SOUND: Background out.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4

ANNOUNCER: I bought a new sport coat in time for Easter this year. It’s versatile enough to look good with a bow tie and dress slacks or with a t-shirt and jeans. In fact, a Hogewash! Res Judicata long-sleeve t-shirt could be just the thing for casual wear with it. Hogewash! Res Judicata long-sleeve t-shirts are among the goodies exclusively available at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today and spend some of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle. Or do your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page. Or hit the Tip Jar. They’re all ways you can support the Team.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5

SOUND: Background back up.

SOUND: Table being cleared.

WAITRESS: Can I get anything else for anyone?

FRIDAY: Another cup of coffee for me.

JOHN: And me.

BRAIN: And me.

SMITH: A refill on my water.

PINKY: I’ll pass. Thanks.

WAITRESS: I’ll be right back.

FRIDAY: So we’re done with that bunch for while?

JOHN: Mostly. The IT Security nerds are mostly likely to turn up the information I need.

SMITH: What about this Gilless LOLsuit?

JOHN: It’s a Virginia case. That’s not our turf, but we could be called on to assist. I know that Johnny Atsign is working some angle related to it.

BRAIN: From what I’ve read, it looks like another bit of shoddy lawfare aimed at shutuppery.

JOHN: Yeah, looks that way.

BRAIN: I wonder how long it will take to get the case thrown out.

JOHN: Based on my experience with The Bomber, I wouldn’t sell my popcorn futures any time soon.

SOUND: Background out.

MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Bomber and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT

ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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