Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


SOUND: (Caller’s POV) Phone rings twice.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Lickspittle Broadcasting.

JOHNNY: It’s Johnny Atsign. I’m still on the road.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Where are you, Johnny? Can you make it back in time for tonight’s program?

JOHNNY: No. That’s why I’m calling. We’ll need another show out of the archives. As to where I am, the parking lot of a Dollar General near the junction of Highways 9 and 905.

PRODUCER: (Telephone Filter) Yeah. That’s at least six hours away. OK. I’ll pull up another vintage show.

Note: This episode was transcribed before this order was issued.

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once. Telephone receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny. Thanks for that archive information on The Bomber and The Grouch.

JOHNNY: Is that everything you need?

AARON:: (Telephone Filter) For now, yes. We need to see how the judge rules before we’ll know where to dig deeper.

JOHNNY: OK.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Yeah, as far as this case is concerned, you should be able to take a break.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the Cheesy Hot Shot Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch C’mon, Pro Se, file your loco motions.

JOHNNY: There wasn’t anything particularly pressing in any of my active cases, so I decided to take a break, and for me that means going fishing. One of the local reservoirs has an open season year round for stripped bass, so I got out my tackle and drove over to a favorite spot.

SOUND: Line being cast. Lure strikes water in the distance.

JOHNNY: (Hushed voice) The odds of landing a fish are fairly low this time of year …

SOUND: Line being reeled in.

JOHNNY: (Hushed voice) … but every once in a while, I get lucky. Any way, this is how I relax. Time spent fishing is never wasted as far as I’m concerned.

SOUND: Line being cast. Lure strikes water in the distance.

JOHNNY: (Hushed voice) And this time of year, there’s never a crowd.

SOUND: Line being run out.

JOHNNY: Speaking of getting lucky, I’ve got something.

ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow, Spring will have sprung. With warmer-but-not-hot weather coming, a Hogewash! Res Judicata long-sleeve t-shirt could be just the thing for casual wear. It’s exclusively available along with lots of other goodies at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today and spend some of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle. Or do your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page. Or hit the Tip Jar. They’re all ways you can support the Team.

JOHNNY: The regulations say that the minimum size stripped bass that can be taken from the reservoir is 18 inches. Mine was a bit over 21, a nice catch. Not a trophy fish, but a good supper with leftovers.

SOUND: Plate being stacked in dish drain. Water draining from sink. Skype rings three times. Telephone receiver picked up.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Johnny. I hope I’m not calling too late.

JOHNNY: No, not at all. I’m just cleaning up from supper.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) I wanted to let you know about the latest motion that The Grouch has filed. I think you’ll find it amusing.

JOHNNY: Oh?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) He’s moved for summary judgment.

JOHNNY: What?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) He’s filed a motion for summary judgment.

JOHNNY: Yeah, but doesn’t that mean that he’s claiming there are no disputed facts in the case?

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Yes.

JOHNNY: I thought there were.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Quite a few, actually.

JOHNNY: But summary judgment normally comes after discovery, and your motions to dismiss haven’t been ruled on.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh. He must be really anxious to file something that would eliminate his chance for discovery.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Looks like my fishing expedition was the more successful one.

MUSIC: Theme up and under

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? A deadline draws nearer still. Join us, won’t you.

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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