Blogsmoke


SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3

SOUND: Oldies playing on jukebox in background.

FRIDAY: (Fading up) … last half of the week was a bit slow.

SMITH: Yeah. The Grouch seems to have taken everything down. And abruptly.

JOHN: Did you notice the timing?

PINKY: Wasn’t it after Johnny Atsign filed that report on The Grouch’s location?

JOHN: Not only that, he took stuff down within a few minutes of his connecting to the site and finding Johnny’s last episode.

BRAIN: The Grouch isn’t the only one keeping quiet. Bunny Boy Unread hasn’t posted anything for about ten days.

FRIDAY: It’s as if all of Team Bomber are going to ground. Hmmm.

WAITRESS: Hey, guys, do I need to bring another round before I take your orders?

SMITH: Not for me. I’ve got to get home.

JOHN: Another cup of coffee.

FRIDAY: I’m fine.

WAITRESS: OK, I’ll be right back.

SOUND: Background out.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4

ANNOUNCER: Are you a loyal supporter of Team Lickspittle? If you are, you should be showing you support by wearing a Team t-shirt, sweatshirt, or hoodie. They’re just some of the useful trinkets with the Team Lickspittle, Res JudicataMurum Aries Attigit, Johnny Atsign, and The Grand Hog logos you’ll find at The Hogewash Store. Why not go by today and spend a bit of your hard earned cash in support of Team Lickspittle? All those goodies are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar or by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5

SOUND: Background back up.

JOHN: (Fading up) … one of the big differences. They never can sustain anything for long.

FRIDAY: Uh, huh. When you have lies for a foundation, things tend to collapse as the truth comes out.

JOHN: On the other hand, we’ve kept some things running for years. Which reminds me—we should congratulate Pinky. The AYPWIP that ran at noon today was number 3001.

PINKY: Thanks, Boss.

BRAIN: I guess I should propose a toast to my colleague. To Pinky and his continued pondering.

JOHN/FRIDAY: Hear! Hear!

JOHN: And may everything proceed as he foresees!

SOUND: Background out.

MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Even with a good imagination, we can’t come up with stories as strange as The Bomber and his buddies provide for episodes of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT

ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign,” and join us again every Friday at 6 for alternating episodes “BLOGSMOKE” and “Blognet.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

7 thoughts on “Blogsmoke

  1. In the still desert air, a panoramic sunset spills is fiery orange streaks across the horizon, a faint flapping of skirts can be heard piercing through the serenity like a clock urn left on a curb in iowa

  2. You know, it’s kind of funny.

    Just after the Magistrate issued her recommendation in LOLSUIT VIII, he posted on his Twitter claiming victory of Lickspittle Nation.

    As a winner, you pretty much have control of the field. You have the upper hand. Everyone loves you! You’re the popular guy, the one who sets the standard for others.

    And yet, he’s done the exact opposite as if he is the loser. He came back to take pot shots only to be laughed and mocked repeatedly. He tried his hand at threatening me, but failed. He ran to New Mexico and dared others to stalk him, while telling everyone where he was.

    But like all of his gambits, he failed once again. He’s been found and I’m sure he’s scrambling to find yet another place to live so he can evade legal consequences.

    Thing is, some birdies are watching. They keep watch. And they love to sing.

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